Posts by Noah Moore61

Quote : Mother of Pearl

David Sanders4 said:You're asking the wrong guy...

I am a hopeless case!

Naturally, my logic will tell me "no" a hundred times over, but...

As you pointed out yourself, theory and practice (actual dating) are two entirely different universes.

Have you ever seen Pulp Fiction? There's that scene where John Travolta delivers a Hamlet-style monologue in front of the mirror, weighing whether he should just head home or go ahead and sleep with >....

It doesn't happen deterministically for me like it might for >; for me, it’s more like plucking petals off a flower (yes, no, yes, no) as my pulse starts to climb... it just happens.

Besides, you aren't alone in this struggle. You give her a lukewarm "no," but then she brushes against your arm, and before you can even blink, she’s pressed up against you. By the time your conscience finally weighs in on what's right or wrong, she's already made her move and, well, things have happened.

To quote Vivien Leigh in Gone with the Wind:

"After all, tomorrow is another day"

On the flip side, I’m asking the real deal. 🤣
Quote : Mother of Pearl

David Sanders4 said:You're asking the wrong guy...

I am a hopeless case!

Naturally, my logic will tell me "no" a hundred times over, but...

As you pointed out yourself, theory and practice (actual dating) are two entirely different universes.

Have you ever seen Pulp Fiction? There's that scene where John Travolta delivers a Hamlet-style monologue in front of the mirror, weighing whether he should just head home or go ahead and sleep with >....

It doesn't happen deterministically for me like it might for >; for me, it’s more like plucking petals off a flower (yes, no, yes, no) as my pulse starts to climb... it just happens.

Besides, you aren't alone in this struggle. You give her a lukewarm "no," but then she brushes against your arm, and before you can even blink, she’s pressed up against you. By the time your conscience finally weighs in on what's right or wrong, she's already made her move and, well, things have happened.

To quote Vivien Leigh in Gone with the Wind:

"After all, tomorrow is another day"

here is another one.
Honestly, I’ve always felt that there’s something much more peaceful about facing the absolute worst-case scenario head-on rather than just sitting there, stuck in that endless loop of "what if." You know that feeling? Where your mind just starts spinning in circles because you don't have any real answers? It’s exhausting. I’d much rather take the hit, deal with the reality of a bad situation, and finally move forward—even if it hurts—than spend my whole life wondering about things that might never even happen. Knowing the truth, even when it's ugly, gives you a foundation to actually start rebuilding. Otherwise, you're just chasing ghosts.

Quote : Mother of Pearl

Hannah Allen5 said:Personally, I know there are certain people where it wouldn't even be an issue for me, provided their partners—or exes—were actually decent enough. Because, I guess, at some point, a previous agreement with that same person might have been broken anyway. 😳

Of course, it's not like I'd do this in every situation or with just anyone. And honestly, I don't think there's a single person out there I would ever do this to without being fully prepared to lose that friendship forever.

Speaking of the topic of the day, I once dealt with a situation where someone I knew—a woman—started hooking up with a guy that I was also seeing. I bet you guys can't top that. 🤣

Just so we’re on the same page—is that person who got hit on also a woman?

David Sanders4 said:Oh goodness, don't even go there. Not everyone can handle a little self-deprecating humor...

I don't know, Sisyphus?!

No, seriously, I’m curious. For real. Let's say you're in a relationship, and your partner—your better half (or your future headache, right?)—starts checking out your buddy. What then?

Or even better. Imagine you actually catch feelings for your friend's girl. And she feels it too. Not just some passing thing, but like, a genuine spark. You'd be thinking about her constantly, man, it would be intense. Is it truly "Bros before hoes"? Or would you actually walk away from something real?
Just asking.

David Sanders4 said:Brilliant. Have you ever considered writing screenplays for the perfect crime?

But... you know how those movies go. There's always a plot twist... suddenly he gets an erection, hard as a rock, standing as rigid as a soldier on parade, while you're banging your head against the wall. The neighbors will just assume someone's having a late-night party again...

P.S. Not even a fresh batch of calamari from the fridge is going to help there.

But would she actually be happy about it? In that classic Noah Moore way?

I imagine the folks over at Ikea would be rubbing their hands together every time these guys try to assemble furniture.

But honestly, what’s the alternative here?
Just let people love whoever they want, whenever they feel like it. And for that matter, let them hook up with whoever they want, how and when they want. It's their life.
If you're really that hung up on how other people are loving or sleeping, maybe focus on yourself (🤮) so that maybe—just maybe—you'll actually become someone's first choice too.

Quote : Mother of Pearl

Joseph Rivera75 said:quietbadger11 is basically driving a bus full of coworkers to the office 😵

Noah Moore61, I love that idea! 👍

Man, that guy is a total magnet—every woman in sight is losing their minds over him. Seriously, quietbadger11, you’re just out there coasting through the workday while he collects all the attention. Honestly, when God finally decides to shake things up and restore some balance around here, you’re probably going to be the first one caught in the blast zone...🤣

quietbadger11 said:No thanks.
Silence really is golden, isn't it?

It probably isn't the smartest move for me to be posting this stuff publicly, since you never truly know who might be lurking around the forum reading these threads, right? 😲
It just occurred to me. 😲

Alright, that's enough from me.🙂🙂

In your case, I’d say you definitely called it—your words have really turned to gold.🤣

quietbadger11, I’ve been chewing on that dilemma of yours—you know, that whole cross you’re carrying on those broad shoulders of yours—and honestly? I think I’ve finally cracked it.

Just don't say a single word to the guy. As for your wife, just tell her you're totally on board. Then, take her to bed and... well, let's just say be the kind of guy who's so completely "unenthusiastic" that she won't even be able to get an erection to complain about. She might be a little disappointed with the actual performance, sure, but at least her curiosity about what's going on with you will be satisfied. And that's it. Keep it between us.
Huuuuu .....🕺

quietbadger11 said:I’ve never really had an ex-friend try to move in on a girl I was seeing.
If someone does that, can you even call them a friend anymore, or are they just some jerk?

There's this coworker of mine, she's about 32, and she's been dropping hints about being my mistress, which is awkward enough because her husband works right alongside me.
The thought hasn't even crossed my mind to go there, mainly because the guy is a colleague and a genuine friend.
I suppose some people would jump at the chance, but isn't that just what low-life, disrespectful people do?

Did you really have to vent about all of this?
Yeah, you did. Honestly, you kind of had to. 🕺

amberviper70 said:So, what—you think the friendship can stay exactly the same size?

We'd be sitting at a Starbucks together, chatting about the physical side of their relationship.
The part I actually experienced with him...🤔

Hmm...

She’d head home with her blessing, but there wouldn't be any "blessing" left in our friendship.
Not that I’d hold it against her—it would just feel wrong. It would feel unnatural.

Pure male territorialism.

Well, honestly, maybe things would actually be better off that way. God works in mysterious ways, I guess. 🙂

Kevin Barrett22 said:I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been out and told some random guy, "Hold on, let me go check on my friend," only for him—or the whole group—to chime in with some snide comment about how she isn't *actually* my friend... basically implying they were all throwing themselves at her.
Honestly, compared to me, they don't stand a chance—they just come off as pathetic little 🙄
I’m not even in touch with one of them anymore... and the connection with the other is pretty thin at best...
But I didn't bother reacting to those miserable little attempts at relevance... I just quietly filed them away under "not worth my time" in the back of my mind...

That’s easy for those reckless kids to say, but who's actually standing a chance against you?

amberviper70 said:I was absolutely head over heels for Peter.
But then Peter just walked out on me.
Now I'm just moping around—drinking, partying, trying to deal with the mess.
My friend is the one helping me through it.

Then someone else comes along, and suddenly, I'm feeling that spark all over again.🙂.

Is it finally time to let go of my grudge against Peter and tell my friend she’s officially off the hook from making sure my ex doesn't look my way?
Or is Peter destined to haunt me forever(even though he clearly wasn't really mine to begin with)?

Well, that’s usually how life works, isn't it? You meet someone new, and you eventually realize—mostly because we can be pretty slow on the uptake sometimes—that things are actually much better this way. No more holding onto bitterness, anger, or old grudges... because love is supposed to be good. Just let Peter go, give my friend a break,
and move on with a clear conscience.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/25/bigg...therapist.html

Eco. We’re pretty sharp people, aren't we? ☕

It might not be the biggest issue out there, but it's definitely the most common one—honestly, it's exactly what you guys as moderators tend to run into quite often here on the forum—inconsistency. 🕺

But the real danger, the one that carries the heaviest consequences for a child? That would be disengagement.

nimblebear5 said:I don't get out much. Honestly, way less than I actually would like to...
It feels like as the years go by, I've just drifted away from the people who used to be my inner circle. Our paths just diverged, you know? And at this stage of life, meeting new people feels like a whole different mountain to climb. It’s tough, man 🕺

Well, honestly? Better to drift apart than to pack on the pounds! 🧐

George Kim13 said:Is the topic of the day sex here as well?

The actual topic is how to find someone without having to actually go out and mingle with people.

Thomas Hernandez4 said:Nov 3. Topic of the day: How often do you actually hang out?

Do you get out much? Are you someone who hits up big groups, or do you prefer keeping things low-key with just a few people?
Try to put some actual numbers to it—how many people are you realistically seeing on a monthly basis?

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This thread was pulled from the 62nd post within the topic of the day.

Not really.

Thomas Hernandez4 said:Nov 3. Topic of the day: How often do you actually hang out?

Do you get out much? Are you someone who hits up big groups, or do you prefer keeping things low-key with just a few people?
Try to put some actual numbers to it—how many people are you realistically seeing on a monthly basis?

__________________________________
This thread was pulled from the 62nd post within the topic of the day.

Nope.

Thomas Hernandez4 said:Nov 3. Topic of the day: How often do you actually hang out?

Do you get out much? Are you someone who hits up big groups, or do you prefer keeping things low-key with just a few people?
Try to put some actual numbers to it—how many people are you realistically seeing on a monthly basis?

__________________________________
This thread was pulled from the 62nd post within the topic of the day.

Still no.

Thomas Hernandez4 said:Nov 3. Topic of the day: How often do you actually hang out?

Do you get out much? Are you someone who hits up big groups, or do you prefer keeping things low-key with just a few people?
Try to put some actual numbers to it—how many people are you realistically seeing on a monthly basis?

__________________________________
This thread was pulled from the 62nd post within the topic of the day.

Aside from family and coworkers, honestly, zero.
Well, yeah. 🤣

ruggedscout76 said:I wouldn't say the dichotomy presented in the title is strictly necessary. Life is really about finding a sense of equilibrium, assuming one's circumstances and necessities permit such a luxury. There are moments when you simply have to take a job because there is no other option. However, if you do find yourself with a choice, it is vital to remember that true professional excellence is impossible if you burn yourself out entirely. One eventually reaches a breaking point when the mind or body is pushed beyond its natural limits. It is my belief that one must prioritize self-care first; only then can you truly offer anything of substance to others, whether in your personal life or your career.

Or, to put it more simply, there is a rather fitting image:

I actually walked away from a "stable" job specifically because of burnout... though, looking back, maybe I waited a beat too long. It's such a tricky thing to recognize in yourself. Sure, you can read all the books and articles about it, but experiencing it firsthand? That's a whole different animal. Honestly, it's a lot like alcoholism—all the red flags are there, but you're stuck telling yourself, "No, I don't have a problem." 😵

For me, it took months of basically torturing myself and everyone close to me before I finally realized that, quite literally— I was burnt out.

Ashley Vaughn79 said: 08/19. Is it better to be successful professionally but have poor spinal flow, or to be less successful at work but have good spinal flow? That's the question.

I'll just make a copy from my inbox. 🙂

Our lovely moderator asked me to expand this into an intro post for the topic of the day.
To be honest, I don't really remember what I intended to say.
Maybe I wrote this quite literally.

Basically, people spend a lot of time sitting at work.
It’s well known that life energy, or "chi," flows through the spine and circulates through the body. People who sit a lot have their spines compressed for most of the day, which stifles that energy flow.

The result is that professionals with desk jobs—which is almost everyone these days—start looking worn out and aged pretty quickly, often dealing with various physical ailments and mental struggles...
But because they are so dedicated to their careers, they earn a decent amount of money.

So, the question could be framed as whether it's worth sacrificing your health for the sake of your career and reputation. Have you ever been in a situation where you were offered a chance to sell yourself out to an employer for great money, but at the cost of ruining your health? Poorer health, better pay.
Is it worth it or not?

Then again, the thing about the spine could also be a metaphor for one's integrity, self-respect, or honor.
In other words, would you bow down and humiliate yourself for good money?

That's roughly how the topic could go.
However, the moderator mentioned she might enrich the thread by sharing an uncomfortable story from her own private life. If she feels like it, she can add that story to the thread. It would make things more interesting.
If not, here are the questions:

Is it worth sacrificing your health for your job and professional reputation? Have you faced situations where you could sell yourself out to an employer for big money, but only if you ruined your health? Is it worth it?
Would you humiliate yourself for good money?

____________________________
I left the original version after all. 😁
Thanks, Tomislav B. ____________________________🙂

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The topic was pulled from 65. posts in Topic of the Day.

Life energy... "chi"...
😵

"It's a common idea?" Well, there isn't a single piece of actual, relevant research out there that confirms something like that even exists. Not one.

But apparently, everyone just "knows." ☕

......
If I were really backed into a corner, I suppose that kind of thing would serve some purpose.
Honestly, when I finally hit my breaking point at my job—when I've just had absolutely enough—I’ll quit and go work in landscaping. There, you aren't sitting around or worrying about anything; you're just out there busting your tail outdoors for maybe 8 to 12 hours, and you actually feel better for it. Plus, there isn't all that petty office gossip and drama that seems to plague places where people "work" behind desks. And don't even get me started on how much better you look once you've built up some decent muscle—coming home in your work clothes while the wife looks at you with eyes like... well, happy times. 👍

I’d recommend the same thing to anyone who spends a lot of time sitting. Your spine will thank you after the initial shock wears off. And your brain will too.

If you absolutely have to sit for long periods, try sitting on the floor or a very low stool so your knees stay above your hips.

Stress is a way bigger enemy to your health than sitting is—at least for me, though I don't spend 8 hours a day glued to a computer, so...

Also, if you're sitting at a computer for work and then come home and sit at a computer again... yeah, you're going to have problems. We just weren't built to be sedentary all day long.

Raymond Booth40 said:Where on earth did you hear that...

I honestly find it hard to picture a guy where someone like you is actually his first choice—sorry, but I just can't see it happening.

Raymond Booth40 said:He knows he won't find anyone better. He's fully aware that nobody can top what I bring to the table. At the very least, he should commit to a real relationship; otherwise, I’m just left with endless flings, and that is simply not how I want to live my life...

Oh, I'm pretty sure about that... if he actually could, he would've kicked your butt a long time ago.

@Raymond Booth40

I don't know what your take on men is, but if you actually believe this behavior of yours is attractive—especially to someone you're just casually seeing—you are dead wrong.
From a guy's perspective, you’re probably just "that girl" who serves as an easy outlet when he needs to blow off steam. If he’s looking for something real, he almost certainly isn't looking for someone acting like this; he’d rather just let you vent about how "he won't be with anyone" to make it easier for him to deal with the drama. You can tell yourself whatever you want—that there aren't any guys out there who meet your standards so you're better off alone—but honestly, it just makes you look like someone with zero backbone and even less self-respect. Very few men find that vibe appealing; and for anything serious, it's usually a massive dealbreaker unless there’s some deeper psychological issue at play.
The guy was straight with you about what he wants from you. If that works for you, fine—enjoy it. If not, walk away. I have no idea where you got the idea that "you're the one he wants." It's way more likely he wants the version of a person someone else hyped up, rather than who you actually are.
Try this instead—set him up on a date with some other great guy. Then you can see for yourself just how much he "loves" you.

Raymond Booth40 said:I’ve been in an open relationship—more like "friends with benefits"—with my partner for nearly four years now. I can't imagine walking away from this, but I have to wonder if there's any hope for things to change. He has told me repeatedly that he has zero interest in a committed relationship with anyone. To give some context, I spent five years on my own after leaving my previous partner, who ended up having a child with someone else. Now, my current partner tells me straight to my face that he doesn't care about the arrangement; he’s perfectly happy doing whatever he wants, and when I asked if it would stay this way forever, he said yes. It feels devastating to think this is all it will ever be. Is there actually anything that can be done here? Honestly, I feel a bit ashamed that I've allowed this to drag on for so long. It’s a sad situation, truly. While I wouldn't say I'm deeply attached, I find myself unable to walk away entirely. When I confronted him about it, he just gave me a Quote: "I'm fine like this. I don't want a relationship with anyone, period."

Yeah, you hit the nail right on the head.