Posts by Rachel Jones8

Nicholas King said:Pop-star children's choirs.

Of course, you get a few "Madonna" types coming out of those groups—many stars start somewhere, I suppose...

As long as there’s a critical mass of pathologically ambitious parents who view drilling their kids like soldiers as some sort of virtue, the only real solution is—well, to pull the child out of that toxic environment entirely.

Admittedly, there is another side to this coin: if a choir is heading to a national competition, it isn't entirely unreasonable to leave out kids who haven't put in the prep work—even if their reasons for skipping practice are perfectly valid.

In the end, everything—as it always does—comes down to finding that elusive middle ground 🙂.

Yeah, obviously... you go with the regulars who actually put in the work first...
But what I saw felt more like psychological warfare, like they were blackmailing the kids. You know, because of one missed rehearsal or being late due to school, they tell a kid who usually shows up and tries hard, "Hey, someone else is taking your spot now." It felt malicious. They're creating this dependency where the girls feel obligated—and they clearly want to be there—but also under massive pressure.
It just felt like such an unhealthy environment... at least that was my impression based on a few chats with other parents and what I heard. Maybe it was a snap judgment? Who knows, sometimes you misread the room. But you've gotta be careful. You should lead your kid to somewhere they actually enjoy, and where you feel okay too.

Nicholas King said:Oh, please—you might as well claim they were one of those tacky little children's groups like "The Bells," "The Little Nails," "The Little Fingers," or "The Cookies," and then the whole circus would be complete.

The reality is that these stories have absolutely—and I mean absolutely—nothing to do with the actual music school. These types of choirs are just the perfect breeding ground for pathological parental ambition; it’s all about that desperate hope that their precious little golden child might one day become the next Madonna. Well, perhaps with slightly fewer cinematic aspirations, of course 😬.

Nah, this is actually getting pretty serious.

Honestly, those stories don't mean anything. They have zero connection to Berklee College of Music.

Alright, they don't have them. I already apologized... I actually agreed with some of what Charles Murphy6 was saying.

These choirs are basically just breeding grounds for toxic parental ambition. They really think their little golden child is going to become the next Madonna one day. Maybe with a few less Hollywood dreams, right? 😬.

Which "choirs" are we talking about here? Like, any and all of them?

I'm not gonna drop the name of the choir here—not because I don't think their work is decent or anything—but seriously, what's the point? My kid’s been going for two months now and they haven't even handed over song lyrics, let alone actually spoken to him directly. It wasn't like everyone was "new" at once, just a small handful of kids. In my book, that's just bad teaching, isn't it?
Maybe my first impression was off, but honestly? It felt like those girls were stuck in some kind of military boot camp. There was zero tolerance for missing anything, and they were even being pressured to skip class just for rehearsals. If they couldn't make it, they’d get threatened with being cut from the tour or whatever. Seems pretty toxic to me, you know? Or am I totally off base?
Of course, you'll find a few Madonnas in there too. Most people start out somewhere, right?

Nicholas King said:Are you seriously talking about a "real music school" when the child only joined the choir? 😕

Nah, my bad.
When I said "well-known," I meant how people just show up at a school, scout talent, and pull them into the choir without even checking with the parents first.
It’s strictly about the choir here. Not the whole music school.

Charles Murphy6 said:At my daughter’s school, some folks from a prestigious institution like Berklee College of Music dropped by to run these hearing tests on the kids, supposedly to figure out who had the ear for music and whether they should focus on singing or an instrument.
I mean, it is absolutely absurd that they decided to put the entire class through this testing process.😁
What a bunch of virtuosos we have here; I suppose they’re all planning to form a massive orchestra or a choir down the road.
It actually gave me a bit of a shock to see my own child’s name pop up on their list—apparently, she passed the threshold or whatever, and now she’s officially on their radar.
Honestly, I think it would be much more decent if they actually bothered to consult us parents first.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against music schools themselves.
In fact, I can easily picture my little girl sitting at a piano, hammering away or singing her heart out.
But the reality is, her interests lie much more in other forms of art and sports.
I actually attended a music school myself during my studies, and I truly loved it.
But clearly, I ended up being nothing more than a somewhat unrecognized talent.😢
And who knows, maybe today I could have been the next Taylor Swift, just perhaps a slightly older version.😁

Famous, right?
So the kid joins the choir. You've got a kid with actual talent whose potential could really take off.
But it only lasted about two months.
First off—she starts this program, being one of the youngest there, and nobody even acknowledges her. No praise, no advice, no smiles... not even any constructive criticism.
Second—they were prepping for a big performance, and since she was the "new girl," she wasn't even in the plans. She didn't get the lyrics or the gear. Then, just days before the show, suddenly she’s expected to perform? She's just standing there looking lost. 🙄
And the equipment... it was beat up, but you have to sign a paper saying you received it in perfect condition and promise to return it that way.
If the girls don't show up to the extra rehearsals on Saturday afternoons, they're out and don't get to perform. And then they cry about it. Even when they literally couldn't make it because of family stuff or other schoolwork.
When someone pointed out to the directors that their attitude wasn't exactly "educational," they just snapped back rudely, acting like because they have teaching degrees, they're above reproach. They basically said anyone complaining doesn't understand "professionalism." But they aren't professionals; they're terrorizing these kids... keeping them in this trance where the kids are proud to follow them, but they treat them like...🤷... like convicts who don't have the strength to fight back. It's true, the girls are popular and always traveling, but man, they are ruthless.

Austin Diaz3 said:Basically, one where my kid can actually finish what they started after finishing second grade...
Anyone got some leads?..

Success really comes down to the kid, right? Or are you just looking for a school that hands out diplomas regardless of how much they actually put in?
Maybe she means credits for high school?
No shade intended here... I don't know the first thing about music schools either, so I'm wondering what even makes one "good."
Speaking as a total outsider, isn't it like any other school? Success depends on the teacher, whether it's elementary or high school. You'll find great ones, okay ones, and then there are the mediocre ones.

Rachel Anderson36 said:Everything you said is spot on. 🙂

And honestly, as messy and miserable as my own teenage years were—and trust me, there aren't enough adjectives to describe how bad they were—at least I walked away with a few life lessons that I actually try to live by now. ☕

I'm really sorry things went down like that for you, but if you made it through... then you're doing okay. Just don't forget that. Life throws crises at you later on too, even if they aren't called "puberty," but you just gotta live through them, push through, and keep moving.
Life’s gonna throw a lot more at you, so just stay smart, fight the good fights, and solve your problems. Keep going. You already know the lesson: crises happen, but they always pass.
Try to be a help to your sister, not a headache. Let her grow up without you hovering or telling her which path she "has" to take. Just be that brother she can lean on when things get messy. Aim to be the kind of guy she knows she can count on, no matter what happens.
She'll thank you for it once she's grown up.
And don't forget your parents either... no matter how much they drive you crazy, most of them just want what's best for their kids (even if they don't always get it right). Once you're older, you'll realize just how much they love you... if you haven't realized it already.
And hey... if there's ever a massive problem, go to your parents. Don't forget that. Because honestly, who else is gonna step up and be there for you like Mom and Dad?

Rachel Anderson36 said:For me, it was mostly my elementary school crew that shaped who I was. Plus, during my first two years of high school, I was basically the local target for jokes—so, yeah, look at me now. But that eventually died down too, thank Quincy. Honestly, I’ve never felt better, though this heat is absolutely killing me. I start college in November.😁

My sister doesn't swear. Personally, I'm the kind of brother who's allergic to profanity, so if she ever tried it in front of me, she'd definitely face some consequences. ☕

As for how to react? In my opinion, it starts early—kids pick everything up from their parents. That’s the biggest factor, along with the environment they grow up in.

Now that you're through that phase... be smart about it. Please don't try to play parent to your sister or micromanage her life just because she's going through that messy teenage stage. She deserves to live her own life, just like you did.
Of course, if you see she actually needs help or advice, that's different... but the lectures, the bans, the yelling, or the punishments? Don't be that guy. Leave that to the parents.
Focus on building a different kind of bond with her—something more like being actual friends.

Jack Jones10 said:My son is fifteen and a half now. He just wrapped up his freshman year of high school. We live right in the heart of the city, so he’s got access to the late-night bus lines until about midnight. If he wants to hang out a bit longer, that’s fine by me, provided he gives me a ring so I can come pick him up.
Back when he was in eighth grade, his curfew was closer to 10:30 PM.
Last summer, we even let him stay out until 11:00 PM, so... yeah.
I never really sweat the small stuff—whether it’s thirty minutes more or less—as long as the transportation situation is sorted out.
It’s common sense, really. A minor shouldn't be wandering the streets alone at night before 4:00 PM anyway; besides, local ordinances wouldn't allow it.
Then you have different scenarios, like if he were just hanging out on the front porch in our neighborhood or something similar.

So you're basically saying the law forbids it and there's nothing better to do outside at night, yet people stay out until midnight or later even if they aren't 16 yet... right?😕🤷

rowdyfox6 said:I’ve served as a maid of honor at two weddings now, and both times it was girls who felt just like my own daughters. They are such sweet, humble people. They chose me because they love me, and honestly, they didn't even give a thought to the gifts—it wasn't what mattered to them.
I can certainly afford to go big on gifts since that's never been an issue for me.
For one of them, I picked up a new Kindle Fire that cost about $1.75 and she was absolutely thrilled; she hasn't put it down since.
With the other girl, I put a lot more thought into it because her family is going through a bit of a rough patch financially, and she isn't exactly a tech person. Then I remembered how much she loves music and how much she wants to play the guitar. So, I got her one of those $1667 instead. She was overjoyed, and her parents actually signed her up for music school. Now she’s constantly performing at local competitions and concerts. Hearing her play makes me so proud! 😍

Honestly, those seem like massive amounts to spend on a 14-year-old's gift. (I mean, looking at average salaries here in the States, right?)

Michelle Bailey4 said:Honestly, parents really ought to prep their kids before school starts—set some expectations, explain what’s coming their way, and all that stuff.

The same goes for reading assignments. We should be telling them that they'll actually get the chance to dive into some great stories, which can lead to cool discussions about how fun it is, or how a good book serves as a perfect escape from homework or a way to wind down before bed.
One of the biggest things parents can do for their kids is just foster a genuine love for reading. Whether it's reading to them at bedtime (or whenever they feel like it), buying them books, or taking them to the local library to pick out their own titles... to me, that’s what actual parenting looks like.

I honestly think we need to pass on a love for math, physics, chem... history, geography, art, music... you name it.
It’s not enough to just read books and be clueless about everything else... fostering an interest in all those subjects... hmm, don't you see? Not every kid is going to be a bookworm or a math whiz...
...and it’s definitely not as easy as you're making it sound. At least, not for most kids.

Michelle Bailey4 said:On my mom's side, every single mother taught their kids to actually value books—buying them, taking care of them, and reading to us constantly. Honestly, I’m pretty grateful for that. We all had to plow through the required school reading lists, and sure, not every classic was a winner, but they definitely left an impression.

What’s that supposed to mean? Like, her maternal relatives or something?

Michelle Bailey4 said:Look, people don't read just to pass some high school exit exam. You read to actually become literate—to travel through different eras and places without leaving your couch, and to basically get inside someone else's head to see how they think. It’s a way to experience things you haven't lived through yourself (thank God for that!!), to have a laugh, unwind, or learn how to actually empathize with people.

Sure, there are plenty of people who hate reading and won't pick up a book if they can help it, but at least through required reading, they’ll pick up better grammar, expand their vocabulary, and gain some general knowledge.
Maybe we just need to update the reading list, but we definitely shouldn't stop treating literature as something important.

Honestly, for whoever asked that question... OH MY GOD.

Even math problems aren't solved just for some standardized test.
But honestly, showing up to the exam and being totally lost because you skipped everything in class? That's a bad look.

wanderinggardener12 said:Looking at the reading lists proposed by the NPIP for Elementary School, most of the works are contemporary (and if you ask me, many lack any real literary merit). You can find the full list on the Department of Health and Social Welfare website.
For every grade level, there are about thirty suggested books, from which a teacher selects seven to nine depending on the age group, and only three per grade are mandatory.
Furthermore, every teacher has the autonomy to assign readings outside of this list, provided they meet certain criteria—namely, that they align with the students' cognitive abilities, possess literary value, and satisfy fundamental educational goals.
It is also permitted to choose, for example, a book listed for sixth grade for a fifth grader if the teacher deems it appropriate and the students haven't read it yet.
The study of literary history is gradually introduced starting in seventh grade, not through assigned reading, but during regular English classes.
It is true that among the thirty or so non-mandatory books, there are some that aren't entirely age-appropriate (for instance, > Travels isn't exactly a children's novel), but that is precisely why the teacher is there—to select the right books for their specific students.

In my view, the Elementary School list is quite acceptable given the freedom to choose other children's books; it simply falls to the teachers to utilize the flexibility the system provides.
As for High School, however, the list is abysmal, particularly for vocational schools. While students in academic tracks should probably follow the sequence to build a general cultural foundation, I would suggest broader options for everyone else—they should be allowed to read something, even if it's lighter, including works by contemporary authors.

Hmm. You know, some people already complain because vocational students have a lighter curriculum than the prep kids, which makes certain parts of the SAT harder for them... can you imagine if they didn't even have these required reading lists, yet still had to take the tests?
Honestly, I kind of agree. If we did that, they'd just have to teach themselves everything, and you just know there'd be plenty of people whining about it.

redseal23 said:Look, I’m not some old-school helicopter parent or a total tyrant who controls every move he makes. Far from it. We’ve always been tight, and we can talk about pretty much anything without it being a thing.
But today was a total shocker. I’ve seriously never seen him throw such a massive tantrum before.
If it's even close to 9:00 PM, he's supposed to be home by midnight, and he just got a blunt, firm "no" along with an explanation of why.
Anyway, the kid basically turned into a different person overnight.
He told his dad that all his buddies at school are already hooking up and getting handsy with girls, which—if you ask me—feels way too early.
I don't see any point in him wandering around town until midnight; when I asked where he’d actually be with his friends, he just gave me a "don't know."
As for his clothes, fine, whatever, let him dress how he wants—but I’d rather tell him if something looks off than let him walk out looking like a mess.
My husband is just taking the whole thing in stride, which honestly makes me wonder how he's gonna handle it when our daughter hits those years. 😁

Some probably move slow, others just dive right in. Who knows? 😁
Quincy:

Dad was telling me that his buddies from back in the day were already making out and getting handsy with girls. Honestly? Feels like things are moving way too fast these days, don't you think?

Man, his peers... they’re always making stuff up about who did what, just like usual. Don't you hate that?
Part 2 — honestly, what's wrong with a little bit of making out and getting handsy?
Quincy:

What's even the point of wandering around town until midnight if he can't even tell me where he’s hanging out with his crew? Like, "I don't know"? Seriously?

I don't see why it should be outside either... wandering around downtown until late isn't a big deal, but staying out on the pier until 10 or 11? Should be fine.
Quincy:

If he wants to talk about fixing things, fine by me. But honestly? I'd rather just tell him his look is off than let him walk out the door like that.

You didn't tell him, you totally played him, if I remember right. And honestly, that comment about how he looks? It probably didn't even register. Maybe try being a bit more subtle next time? Just a gentle suggestion, you know? If he takes it and dials it back, great. If not, oh well.
Quincy:

My husband didn't even blink at any of it. It makes me wonder, though—is he really going to be that chill once our little girl is actually here? 😁

😂 Man, I think things are gonna get at least ten times worse than they are right now. A little girl out in the cold, barely dressed... man. We'll all pull through, though. Everyone will. 😉

redseal23 said:So my 12-year-old kid comes up to me this morning asking why I won't let him hang out downtown at night. Fine. We start talking about it. Where he’d go, what time he’d be back, all that stuff.
He totally blew a fuse on me in like five minutes. Says he's not a baby, says all his friends have girlfriends except him (which actually caught me off guard) 🙂 and then asks what kind of "normal" kids stay out until nine at night.
After I tried explaining why certain things just aren't happening yet, the kid just stood up from the table and stormed off to the bathroom. I followed him because we weren't done talking, and man, was I in for a surprise. He had a massive handful of hair gel shoved in his hair. I told him he couldn't go out looking like that because his hair looked ridiculous—seriously, it looked like a bowl of ramen noodles. So, I grabbed a towel and went to work on his hair, and then the screaming started. He's yelling about how I'm bullying him and won't let him live his life, blah blah blah.
Honestly, I'm terrified of the idea of him having a girlfriend at 12. I see kids his age making out in the local parks all the time and it's just gross.
My husband is just like, "Eh, let him live, let him enjoy himself." Look, I don't care if he has a crush, but some things are just way too early. I should probably mention that when we're walking around together, he knows how to flirt with older girls and isn't shy about commenting on their bodies. 😲
My husband thinks it's hilarious, but I'm just in shock. Looks like puberty finally showed up at our door. 😁
Satan is testing me, seriously. I lowkey want to go buy some Durex and just shove it in his pants while he's standing there.
Husband's response to that? "You're crazy."

So what did he say? Where's he even headed, and by when?
Quincy:

He drove me absolutely crazy in five minutes flat. He’s out here acting like he’s just a kid, complaining that every single one of his buddies has a girlfriend except him. Like, seriously? Who even says that? 🙂 And what kind of "normal" kids are we even talking about? Realistically, most decent kids are already tucked in by nine.

Honestly, with it being noon and this heat hitting right now? I feel like he could definitely stay out a little longer.
Quincy:

After he gave me this whole long-winded explanation about why certain things just won't work, the guy straight up stands up from the table and heads to the restroom. I ended up following him out because we weren't even finished talking, and man, was there a sight to see. He had dumped a massive handful of hair gel in there. I told him, "Dude, you can't go out looking like that," because his hair looked absolutely ridiculous—just a total mess.

So what? Let them grow up a bit.
Rachel Jones8:

So I grabbed a towel and started drying my hair right when the screaming started. Like, seriously? Am I actually bullying him now? Is he just gonna act like I can't even breathe without being harassed? Give me a break.

Well, if you ask me... at least in this case, that's how it goes. Right?
Quincy:

Honestly, it kind of scares me that he already has a girlfriend at twelve. I see so many kids his age hooking up in the local parks and it just hits me wrong. Is it just me, or is that totally messed up?

What's there to be afraid of? Why the panic?
Quincy:

My husband says I should just let him do his thing, and honestly, I don't mind him having his fun. But even so, some things just shouldn't happen before they're ready, right?

So, when does the hair gel and the first date finally happen?
Quincy:

I gotta say, whenever we're all out walking together, you can really see it in the older guys—they just can't help themselves. They’re always loud and making comments about women's bodies. It's pretty wild, right? 😲

If that bothers you, just tell him straight up that it’s not appropriate. He needs to take that energy elsewhere—to his friends, not his parents. Right?
Quincy:

My husband thinks it's hilarious, but I'm honestly just in shock. Looks like puberty is officially knocking on our door. 😁 The Devil is making me restless—I lowkey want to go grab some Durex and surprise him right in his pants while he's just standing there. His reaction? He was just like, "You're nuts."

First you're upset because he has a girlfriend, and now this... 😁... instead of just buying stuff for him, maybe try having a real talk? (If you haven't already). Just because he's seeing someone doesn't mean he's going to start acting like an adult overnight. It might be a few years before things get serious, but he isn't clueless about how the world works.

Charles Murphy6 said:

I honestly don't even know where to begin with this absolute nonsense, but here we go again. It’s just one thing after another lately, isn't it? Every time I think we've reached some kind of baseline level of absurdity, someone decides to throw a wrench in the gears just for the hell of it, and frankly, I'm exhausted by the sheer incompetence on display. It feels like we're constantly spinning our wheels while everyone else is just watching us fail from the sidelines. Honestly, it’s enough to make you want to walk away from the whole mess entirely, but instead, I find myself sitting here, venting into the void because clearly, someone has to point out how ridiculous this all is. Nicholas King says:
🙄
1000,00-$3333 Regarding Krizmanikov... or whatever else we’re calling this mess (I honestly have no clue what a decent scooter even goes for these days)... I have to ask: what exactly did someone who sat through seven or eight years of religious studies actually earn? Because from where I'm standing, they certainly didn't earn anything more or less than a damn scooter.
In a country where the average salary is what, exactly? Maybe around... $1667Look, let’s be honest here: the social safety net was already struggling at $70, but after these recent price hikes, we’re probably looking at a baseline closer to $80 just to keep our heads above water.

Honestly, you are being incredibly naive.😁
I’ve noticed that the people hunting for those kinds of lavish gifts don't actually pick their godparents based on genuine friendship or any kind of emotional bond; instead, they scout specifically for whoever has a bank account large enough to hit those ridiculous price points you mentioned. It honestly makes me sick to see how they’ll reach out to someone they haven't even spoken to in over a year, completely ignoring the fact that the person being asked hasn't given a single thought to becoming a godparent, only to vanish again for another twelve months once this "noble" little favor is completed.
At the end of the day, the objective is what actually matters—not who you're tied to or who pulled some strings for you. You don't just turn down an opportunity because of some old loyalty or a favor owed.😁
And then what? Where does everyone go? Honestly, where on earth does everyone end up drifting off to?
You’re going to have to put in some serious legwork and really sweat if you want to track down godparents like that these days, because let’s face it—everyone’s piggy banks are looking pretty damn empty, and before you know it, people are going to start aggressively hunting down anyone they can call a sponsor.😁

Fair enough, I messed up here.
(I wouldn't even be a bridesmaid for people like that... if it were even an option. Neither I nor my kid would ever pick those kinds of people or those kind of numbers)

Kevin Thompson8 said:Bicycles, scooters.

🙄
Maybe $1,000$3333 for the crisis... or more (who knows how much a scooter actually costs these days)? Does someone who sat through religion class for seven or eight years really deserve nothing more than a scooter?
(In a country where the average salary is what, maybe around $1667, and the poverty line hit $7,000 ages ago—now with inflation, it’s probably closer to $8,000)

Richard Lee9 said:Signing this document... I honestly don't get what "OBLIGATION" regarding an ELECTIVE subject they think they're talking about—if something is labeled as an elective, then by its very definition... 🤷 Every single year, I have to decide whether or not to sign off on things like religious studies, computer science, or a second language... If I don't sign, my kid doesn't take it. Who could possibly force a child—say, one from a Muslim family or an atheist family—to attend a religious education class? 🤷 Absolutely nobody.

In high school, it's mandatory:
Elementary and Secondary Education Act
Article 27
(9) The core curriculum for a high school includes subjects that are
mandatory for all students in a specific track, while the elective portion consists of subjects where
the student must choose one or more courses based on their interests.

Charles Murphy6 said:There's no obligation,🙂 but once a kid signs up, they're stuck with it until the end of the school year..
Besides, at the start of the term, parents have to sign declarations stating that their children intend to enroll in specific elective classes..
I'll probably be shocked when someone inevitably chimes in claiming they've never even heard of such a thing..

Yeah... definitely wasn't aware. I just figured you had to pick one.

Charles Murphy6 said:The term "elective" should really speak for itself—it’s an elective, which by definition means it isn't mandatory.
However, if you enroll your kid in a course at the start of the academic year, current rules dictate they have to stick with it until the end of the term.
At the beginning of every new school year, for students who were already enrolled in an elective from the previous year, if the child simply doesn't have the interest anymore, you just submit a formal request to the School Board to be excused from further participation.

I'm not totally sure how things have changed for next year, but as far as I know, electives used to be required. Like, you had to pick something—maybe a language, computer science, or religion—you couldn't just skip them entirely.
Actually, maybe that wasn't always the case, but at one point it definitely felt that way... if I remember right.

Charles Murphy6 (No content provided to rewrite.)
So what if it does? You could probably use it to prop up a wobbly table leg.😁

😁

No, seriously—this is getting ridiculous, and I’ve already said that. It feels like people are picking their wedding party based on their bank accounts instead of actual friendship. Is that really how it works now?
So, what's the deal? At this rate, I'll be waiting forever before anyone even asks me to be their Maid of Honor.😁

Just my luck, I can't even get this to work. (Not until about a month ago, anyway... honestly, before I started this thread, I didn't have a clue what was going on...)