Posts by Rachel Jones8

Charles Murphy6 said:Nobody would ever pick me to be their godmother because the second I show up wielding a Bible, they’d act like the apocalypse is imminent—as if time itself would freeze and everyone would start screaming in absolute horror at my very existence.😁
I was sitting on the bus today, minding my own business, when I overheard this mother and daughter having a conversation... the girl asks her mom, "Hey Mom, what should I ask for as a gift for my communion? Maybe a watch, what do you think?"
The mother just responds with total, deadpan indifference: "Well, isn't one watch from $333 plenty enough?.."
I swear, I had to bite my tongue so hard to keep from shouting something back..

I’d be pretty horrified too... I mean, wouldn't anyone who actually made it all the way to Krizmanikov already have it? 😁

Overheard a mom and daughter chatting on the bus today. The kid was asking her, "Hey Mom, what should I get for my graduation? Maybe a watch, what do you think?"
Mom's giving me nothing but cold shoulders—is an hour really too much to ask? $333 Not much, really.
I seriously had to bite my tongue there...

Man... and then people have the nerve to say kids today are entitled and spoiled. Like, they always want more. Honestly? A kid might actually be happy just with a watch. Especially if it looks cool.

Charles Hayes6 said:...just curious, how much would be considered "normal" to chip in for a best man's gift?

Honestly, I think some of these wedding traditions have gone way overboard lately. People get too caught up comparing themselves to everyone else... To me, it all comes down to what you can actually afford. It’s not the same for someone pulling in $1000 as it is for someone working at $3333... so yeah, it's simple—just give what won't wreck your budget or force you to put it on a credit card.
For one person, $67 might be plenty, while another might go with $1,000... anything beyond that feels totally extra to me.

Justin Taylor812 said:1. a sharp suit
2. a wallet
3. a beach house in Malibu
4. a yacht
5. a car
6. movie tickets
7. a toothbrush
...

Something for everyone, right? Just pick what you like. 😁
I'd also add to number 2:
a) slim
b) chunky

Peter Doyle2 said:But, if you really think about it, isn't that just how things go everywhere?
Okay, I know this thread is specifically about Christ, so I shouldn't drift too far off-topic—though it feels like everything ends up being like that eventually.
With all the sacraments (except maybe Communion—I guess those numbers are still relatively reasonable since you don't need specific godparents, though I hear people are even booking out restaurants for those now...) it's basically the same story. It's expected that the godparent will go to great lengths to 🙄

I don't know... maybe? I'm a bit out of the loop here... I had no clue we were talking about such massive amounts of money and gifts like this.

okay, this is a thread about Christmas, so I don't want us to drift too far off-topic, but that's just how life goes.
with all the sacraments

With all what? All the sacraments... what else is there?
Now you're bringing up sacraments, but I thought you were just speaking generally about how people give expensive gifts nowadays... regardless of the church or anything religious.

(maybe except for First Communion—since finding godparents is so hard lately, those costs stay somewhat reasonable.. I mean, I think they do, though I haven't been to one in a while, but I hear people are throwing huge parties at restaurants for those now too)

No godparents, but still expensive gifts?

that's just how it is.. there's an expectation for the godparent to really shell out🙄

And the "tradition" is basically picking someone who actually can and wants to pay, rather than someone who either can't afford it or is just going to ignore the whole thing.

Peter Doyle2 said:Actually, I'd argue the exact opposite—I think faith, the church, and the sacrament itself are supposed to represent something completely different.
It seems like we've just developed this local tradition where people feel pressured to buy gifts worth an entire average paycheck, or sometimes even taking out a small loan just to cover it (I remember back in the day, everyone was obsessed with getting those high-end scooters—basically motorized things that cost at least $2,000 or more).
It would be really interesting if someone living abroad could weigh in—maybe tell us what the typical gift values look like over there, or if people even receive significant gifts from godparents during Confirmation. ☕
For instance, what about people in Italy, Spain, or Portugal? They are traditionally Catholic countries, so I'm curious about what their customs are regarding the Sacrament of Confirmation. 🤷

Guess their version of "promoting" is pretty weak then...😢
And apparently, tradition is just a total joke.

Peter Doyle2 said:We don't live in atheist neighborhoods, 🙄
we’re basically the first "outcasts" because we don't subscribe to the ideology. We don't consider ourselves religious, and we don't exactly follow church traditions religiously—not that we'd want to—so we aren't going to mark our kids with those rituals from day one just to fit in.
That pretty much makes us an immediate target, I guess.
There are very few truly practicing believers around us. About 99% of our family and friends are "religious" on paper—mostly just because everyone else is.

Realistically, sacraments have turned into a "follow the crowd" type of thing.
And we really aren't interested in following the crowd. 🤣

It all feels so confusing to me... why doesn't faith promote things like modesty or simplicity instead of constantly asking for... laptops, gold, tablets, or huge donations for this and that?
Man, 🙂

Charles Murphy6 said:Look, it’s incredibly difficult for you to judge the situation when you don't actually know my child, and if you did, you might have a different take on it altogether.
Sometimes I feel a sense of regret because she has always been far beyond her years. Sure, call her "mature," fine, but even at three, her cognitive reasoning was more aligned with a six-year-old, and by six, she was operating on an even higher level—not to mention now that she's nine...
It’s not that I’m trying to praise her, per se; truthfully, it’s almost a burden because she often struggles to relate to children her own age who are actually behaving like typical kids.

Maybe, but I don't think that really applies here... I mean, how can someone want something they've never even heard of? Like, if they haven't heard anything positive or cool about it?

I used to feel bad because she was always way ahead of her age. Sure, she was mature. But by three, she was thinking like a six-year-old. By six, she was on another level entirely, and now at nine? Don't even get me started.
Not trying to brag or anything. Honestly, I just feel for her sometimes because she struggles to relate to kids her own age who are actually acting their age.

Reading your posts about her, I kept thinking we have almost identical kids. Mine was surprisingly logical for a two-year-old—her reasoning, her reactions, her speech... it stuck with me. She was so calm, no tantrums or screaming fits. But I can't really relate to this specific situation; my kid isn't some genius, she's pretty average...
She was a total standout as a baby... but if she suddenly wanted to get baptized (she is, but whatever) or something like that... wouldn't that have to come from somewhere else? It's hard to imagine a kid just coming up with something like that on their own.
It doesn't have to be a teacher or a priest; it could be school friends, a brother, a dad, a stepmom... whoever. If a kid doesn't know something exists or that it's "cool," how are they supposed to want it? Just like a smartphone. 😁

Charles Murphy6 said:My daughter decided she wanted to be baptized when she was nearly six years old, driven by this intense, unshakable desire of hers. Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue where that impulse came from; nobody planted those seeds in her head, especially since I wasn't raised with that kind of religious fervor myself, yet she just refused to let the idea go.
She has this unique, personal connection with God—not something tied to organized religion or sitting in a pew, but something internal that I’ve witnessed firsthand.
She simply believes, and frankly, I have no intention of standing in the way of that.
As for gifts, her godparents gave her a bracelet and her grandparents gave her a necklace. That was it.
For her, the significance was in the act itself, whereas for me, the priority was simply being there by her side to support her wish, and I don't regret it for a second.
Even when it came to choosing religious studies at school, she made the call herself; I didn't push for it, nor did I fight against it.

Honestly, it’s hard to believe a 6-year-old would come up with something like that entirely on her own without any influence from home or school.
Still, I respect her choice, and I think you guys handled it perfectly by being chill about it.

On a different note, I really wasn't a fan of how aggressive one of those preschool teachers was being about it.

Peter Doyle2 said:Last year, I served as a godmother, and I ended up getting the godchild a tablet.
Not an iPad, just some Prestigio model—it cost about a thousand dollars, maybe a little more. Just thought I’d throw that out there in case anyone needs ideas..

To be fair, it was for someone very close to me, my niece, so I really didn't mind spending the money.

I've noticed lately that everyone around me seems to be buying or receiving laptops whenever a godparent role is involved. Personally, I'm not really feeling that vibe.

We didn't actually have a religious ceremony for the little one; we aren't planning on enrolling her in religious education classes or anything like that.
Do you want to know how people reacted?
"Oh, poor thing... all the other kids at school will be bragging about what they got for their First Communion, and she won't have anything."

🤮
Well... cheers to Catholicism here in America ☕

What kind of crowd are we talking about? Not just the secular types, but actual religious folks? Don't they usually make a huge deal out of those ceremonies and all the gifts?🤷

wanderinggardener12 said:I once bought a Samsonite suitcase for one person, fueled by nothing but the dream of seeing the world; I bought a piece of graphic art for another, which now hangs on her parents' wall until she can claim it for herself; and I even covered a trip to Rome for two, where she got to travel alongside her mother.
The ideas just keep coming:
- A complete aquarium setup, fish and all the gear included
- Foreign language immersion courses
- A massive encyclopedia or perhaps a classic anthology of poetry...
- A season pass to the local theater
- Skydiving, paired with a commemorative photo book
- A hot air balloon ride, also with a keepsake book
- A high-quality camera
- A bicycle
- A dog (provided the parents actually agree to it)
- Speed reading workshops
- A musical instrument.
There is plenty more where that came from.

Those are lovely gifts, but honestly? A bit pricey. (Though I guess that's subjective.)

Here are a few more ideas:
- a fish tank setup
- language classes
- an encyclopedia or a poetry anthology...
- theater subscriptions
- skydiving plus a photo book to remember it by
- a hot air balloon ride and a photo book
- a camera
- a bike
- a dog (if the parents say yes)
- speed reading course
- a musical instrument.
That's about it.

Ideas are everywhere, right? It’s just a matter of whether they actually fit the person... or if they're just too expensive.
Can't figure out why bolding isn't working, so here's what caught my eye from the list:
The hot air balloon thing sounds cool (though a scenic plane ride is a cheaper way to go), plus the camera, the bike, or maybe a language class if they're into that.

Nicholas King said:If you look at the statistics—and I mean really dig into the numbers—it seems pretty clear that Confirmation is essentially just a ritualized way to celebrate a young person’s official departure from the Church.

Nicholas King said:$14 and 43 cents.

Now, naturally, you’re going to scream, "Jesus!!!11! Are you insane!!11!! Do you have any idea what my salary is, how high my cost of living is, how many kids I have to feed, or how much mortgage debt I'm carrying??????"

And then I’ll just say, "Of course I don't know—why on earth would you expect me to provide a meaningful answer to that?"

Then that number actually makes sense.

Charles Murphy6 said:Yeah, Lord, you’re making perfect sense here—you hit the nail right on the head.
Regarding all this gift-giving business—I’ve been a godmother twice now, even if I haven't done the baptismal thing yet, and not once have I spent more than $117.
Am I being stingy?
Not at all; my friends understand that when they ask me to be a godmother out of pure friendship, it’s coming from the heart, not a deep pocket.
And if anyone ever asks me to take on that role for a formal ceremony, they can expect the exact same level of generosity.
I refuse to spend my entire month living on bread and water just to cater to some kid's whims or the sheer entitlement of rude parents.
With an attitude like mine, nobody is likely to pick me to be a godmother, which honestly isn't a bad thing if you ask me.☕
Actually, maybe someone will, but it’ll be the real ones—the friends who actually understand what we can afford and realize that by the time their kids are old enough to care, they'll know that Auntie Charles Murphy6 doesn't exactly have a massive fortune stashed away somewhere in the USA....

I honestly had no idea how much money and gifts were involved until I started reading things here... To me, it all feels 🙂
for a few reasons... mainly
- It's way too much.. people are broke.
- What does a religious ceremony have to do with expensive gifts? What exactly did the faith teach these kids and their parents? 🤷
Good thing I won't be anyone's godmother. Probably. 😕

Jessica Howard5 said:So, what exactly do you suggest we do then?
How do we fix this mess today? Schools are failing, the system and the laws are broken, parents are clueless... You know where this is heading? It’s leading straight to the rise of private schools. People will choose whatever they can afford, while the public system slowly turns into a series of bunkers. Once those private academies actually take off, you'll probably need a bulletproof vest and a security guard just to show up for class.

What's the move?

''Lord'', our principal, tried to implement a "dress code" at school for both students and teachers. Guess who the biggest critics were? The very people you put in quotation marks. Did that dress code ever actually work? Nope! It seems like the old days—twenty or thirty years ago—had a much more organized system. And I'm not talking about the curriculum. Back then, authority was respected, and school was definitely one of those institutions. The curriculum hasn't changed much, but respect for authority has hit rock bottom.
Now, tell me: what's your actual solution, aside from just arguing and spreading demagoguery?
I use these posts to state my opinion, and every once in a while, a handful of people give me a concrete, sensible response explaining their reasoning. I haven't read a single one from you. Not one solid answer, just empty political maneuvering without any real solutions. Sorry, maybe I missed something?

You're asking me?
Like I said, just hire actual experts to do their jobs. Obviously, that works better if we actually fix the economy first... but how? Honestly, if I knew, life would be a whole lot easier for everyone.😁
Every single school needs its own psychologist and social worker. Early detection is key—catch things the second a kid shows even a tiny sign of trouble.
It’s all about prevention. We need workshops, guest speakers, educational programs, structured extracurriculars, free sports, more public parks, and real support for parents who are struggling. Just constant outreach and education for families.
Basically: prevention, early intervention, and letting the professionals handle it. Teachers are just one small part of the chain; they aren't trained for this, and they're already swamped with their own workload (which, let's face it, needs an overhaul too).

Jessica Howard5 said:My take? It’s better to get kids from broken homes or repeat offenders into a facility early on that can actually fix their behavior. Give them actual vocational training so they can find a job later. Honestly, it might even save some of them from terrible living situations. It beats waiting for them to beat up teachers in school or start fights in the streets. Then you just read about them in the news as robbers, thieves, or drug dealers, and we end up overstuffing our prisons and rehab centers anyway.

Maybe I'm being utopian, but I wouldn't waste tax dollars building more prisons. I’d put that money into institutions designed to actually rehabilitate kids and teens with behavioral issues—turning them into functioning adults. Long-term, that would solve way more problems than what we're dealing with now. 😉

That’s one way to look at it, but aren't there professionals who actually study this? It's common knowledge that pulling a kid away from their environment isn't usually the first recommendation. Instead, experts try to work with the child right where they are whenever possible. There are different levels of intervention—like increased supervision or part-time/full-time programs at a childcare center—that don't require totally isolating them.
Copied from this page
"The goal of this program is to support the user and their family in overcoming educational hurdles and social integration issues through socialization, rehabilitation, and vocational training."
There is also the option of being referred to a childcare center:
"A court (like a local or county court) may order this measure when they feel short-term intervention is necessary to influence a minor's personality and behavior. The court can send a minor to a childcare center for a set number of hours per day or for a continuous stay lasting up to 3 months."

Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I wouldn't sink money into building more prisons. I'd rather invest in facilities that actually focus on rehabilitating troubled kids and teens in a humane way, helping them finally become productive members of society.

You can't just decide a family is beyond help and ship a kid off somewhere far away, hoping some magic wand will turn them into a good person. This only works if we don't isolate them in these "facilities" that basically act like prisons anyway.
Sure, I agree we need to invest in these projects and institutions—because let's face it, some kids eventually have to be removed if nothing else works—but the real issue is that there doesn't seem to be any money to spend. Or maybe someone thinks things like gold reserves or redesigning the Flowerbed are more important?
It was supposed to be standard long ago for every school to have a social worker to help kids showing signs of trouble at home or behavioral issues. Failing to make that happen was a huge oversight. If you catch it early in elementary school, you have a much better shot at helping them grow into decent adults. By the time they end up in those "rehab" centers, it's often too late; very few actually find their way back.

hiddendriver34 said:Honestly, maybe we should just start a dedicated thread called "What parents actually think about teachers," because it feels like everyone is totally fired up about this topic right now.😁

Yeah, maybe.
No matter how much you respect your teachers, isn't it true that sooner or later we all run into someone who just rubs us the wrong way? Or maybe they do something that totally sets you off?
Regardless of who’s actually right or wrong here—and I've already said my piece on that—we really need to realize this isn't worth getting worked up over. It's not like it's some massive deal, right?
Maybe it’s actually a good thing she didn't head straight to school... she was still seeing red, wasn't she? Everything felt so one-sided back then. Now that she's had some feedback and a different perspective, things might shift. Even if she isn't ready to admit she played a part—since she's still mostly blaming the teacher—maybe after a few nights of sleep, she'll calm down. If she can approach the teacher more gracefully and actually listen to her side, it could smooth everything over. Wouldn't that be better for the kid and for keeping things civil moving forward?

Joshua Parker11 said:She couldn't have given him that money unless he took it himself!!
The kid took the money. It's not like she forced him to grab it, dragged him by the arm, or threatened to get him expelled just to make him order that famous Happy Meal!
If she offered him the cash with the understanding that he'd pay it back, and he took it—then it's a LOAN!

She didn't just hand him the cash and stay quiet, only to chase him around the school the next day demanding it back.🙄

😂
When someone offers a kid drugs one day and they take them, poor thing... how could anyone claim they were "forced" to take it when they clearly didn't want to?

Look, Mom, either the kid needs to learn right from wrong... or you should stop making such a huge scene over this. Just talk to your husband or pay the money back and call it a day. If you actually want to prevent this from happening again—so the kid isn't the only one acting out while everyone else does whatever they want—just have a polite conversation about it and move on. Then the kid can deal with looking at the floor because his mom wouldn't even give him $1.75 for the field trip, even though she totally had the cash. (It's just easier to blame everyone else than to admit you messed up.)

Kimberly Robinson2 said:We didn't get any parental notice about this!
There was this little scrap of paper—I don't have a photo because he already turned it back into the school—where you're supposed to sign off to give permission for the kid to go here and there for a certain amount of money. It didn't mention anything about going to McDonald's, but everything else was laid out right there.

Furthermore, I really don't think a mother should take a child's account of what happened at McDonald's at face value. I see plenty of you writing about how the child didn't ask to borrow money, but... are you actually sure about that???

I'll find out more on Monday. Once I hear the teachers' version of events, too. For now, I know my kid doesn't "beg"—he doesn't even really grasp the concept. He’s just the type who accepts things if someone offers them (like when he's over at a friend's house). Actually, I just found out that the first time he was at a buddy's place, he ate a fried egg... he wouldn't touch an egg like that at home to save his life! But there, he loved it...😍 Though that's nothing compared to this situation. Even at our place, if friends come over and we have food, I offer it to them.

.......... and he just sits there giving those sad looks to the others eating their hamburgers, wishing someone had helped him feel equal to everyone else so he wouldn't feel less than them......

And how exactly am I supposed to help that kid so he doesn't have to stare sadly at happy families? He sees them everywhere—moms and dads taking their kids to the store to pick out treats and gifts, getting them something nice for Christmas, while he won't! Because he doesn't have a family. It's not his fault, and it's not anyone else's fault—it's mine. I'm the one who didn't want my kid to deal with constant fighting and crying... the one who ended up divorcing his father because he didn't care about the kids, only about his own mother and doing whatever she wanted... yeah, the kid isn't to blame, but seeing this, seeing how he looks at all the other children who get everything they want, it's heartbreaking. Though, personally, I didn't actually see him looking sad.

The only thing is, for Saint Nicholas, he asked for ONLY candy and firecrackers! Nothing else. He got a little gift bag for Saint Nicholas ($3.25 there was a Saint Nicholas themed bag at Walmart with a few chocolate balls for the tree)... and he was absolutely thrilled, though I didn't buy the firecrackers. He got a few tears in his eyes since he couldn't find them, but I just told him I bought them and it just wasn't time for them yet. And that kept the peace.

Ever run into those families that just hit up the malls to blow cash on gifts and candy?
Those families on tighter budgets... you know, the ones who might just get a single candy bar under the tree, maybe some socks or gloves, or just a little something small to make it feel like Christmas? $3.25Can they ever just be happy?
Wait, they don't even have a family?!?!
If you really think that, the guy is seriously pathetic... but what's your deal? Are you his sister, his girlfriend, or some random grandparent?

It’s not about who’s right or wrong, it’s just me. I couldn't stand watching my kid deal with all that fighting and crying every single time... honestly, I ended up divorcing his father because he was too busy catering to his own mother instead of actually stepping up for his kids. Is it the child's fault? No. But seeing them look on like that—seeing how they compare themselves to other kids who get everything handed to them—it's heartbreaking. Though, if I'm being real, I haven't actually seen him look that sad yet.

So, what’s the deal now? Does he actually look bummed out or what? Is he feeling down because money is tight? Or maybe it's because he doesn't have any family around—you know, with his mom and siblings still in the picture?

So, for Saint Nicholas, you only wanted candy and firecrackers? That's it?

That's it?
What should you even expect for Saint Nicholas Day? Honestly, mine never got anything more than some candy.

You’re totally overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill. What’s the big deal if I told her to bring the cash herself instead of having her mom send it?
If I had to drop my mom off at school, I’d act like it was some huge ordeal, you know? And if she had to pay back money I lent her—even if I just did it to be helpful—I wouldn't mind at all. Once that's out of the way, if there's still drama, nobody's stopping you from heading over there and talking it out face-to-face. Right?
Look, paying back money you borrowed isn't some huge deal. Even a ten-year-old should be able to do that without making a whole thing out of it. Unless, of course, someone else decides to turn it into a massive drama—kind of like how you’re acting right now.

nimbletrucker132 said:I honestly can't let this pass without pointing out that we've already burned through twelve pages discussing the whole saga involving $7.00, McDonald's, the teacher, and that "what-is-this-even" situation. It feels like we're barely scratching the surface; I suspect there's a much deeper, more complex backstory here that we haven't even begun to grasp.

Btw. Joshua Parker11, any chance you're actually that teacher in question? 😬

You're spot on. We've only heard one side of things from someone who wasn't even there... they're just going off what their kid told them. And if the kid is shy or doesn't really open up, how can you be sure?
That’s why I can't just jump on the mother's side and join in on bashing the teacher. Instead, I'm guessing the teacher isn't some villain who lent money just to mess with a kid or squeeze every cent out of struggling parents. Why would she do that? It's more likely she had good intentions that the parent should have appreciated.
If they aren't happy with how things went down, why not just be civil? Just talk to the teacher, explain the situation, and ask her to handle things differently next time... simple as that.

Joshua Parker11 said:God.
Let me repeat: you knew they were going to McDonald's, and if you didn't have the extra $1.75 for ice cream, you shouldn't have let him go (because like you said, you know exactly how much it sucks to have to stare at the floor). The teacher would have refunded that $15 you paid, rather than putting the kid in that position. You knew what would happen—that all the other kids would be eating and buying stuff while your little guy stood there on the sidelines. You could have prevented that.
And honestly, in my opinion, the biggest fault here is yours. The teacher told the kid to pay her back instead of you walking over to that school just 60 meters away (literally a five-minute walk) to return the money or sending it via the kid that same day, so she wouldn't have to keep pulling on his sleeve. You opened this whole drama up and expected everyone to just jump on her and her actions.
And yeah, you are trashing the teacher and all the teachers at the school, which is pretty obvious from your post about the ones who just sit around in the lounge eating and drinking and barely move once the bell rings..

And again, you know that those $6.75 probably didn't mean much to the teacher compared to you. Maybe she even pulled the last $6.75 out of her own pocket for your son just so he wouldn't feel left out, and she politely told him his mom would pay her back. Maybe that money was just as tight for her as it is for you??!!

And about your little guy—if I remember right, he’s 10 now? That’s plenty old enough for you to walk him through certain situations. You basically sent him off to McDonald's without a dime in his pocket, so the least you could've done was tell him to eat the lunch you packed or just make sure he knows not to take money from strangers.
Also, this whole thing about having four kids and struggling with income? It honestly has zero to do with the topic at hand.

I really don't get why you even started this thread if you expected everyone to jump on board with your specific take. This is a forum. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, and it’s totally uncalled for to start attacking people just because they don't see things your way.

Exactly.
She actually wrote more than that herself:

If I’d known she was actually going to borrow his gear, I would’ve jumped on that swap way sooner. Why didn't I see that coming? $17 Why not just give him 30?We’d be lost without them, wouldn't we?.

I mean, there's no way she couldn't have set aside that 20 bucks, right?$10Honestly, she didn't do it because she thought the kid didn't need it. (IMO, total misstep.)
If she had the cash to give away in the first place, she can sure as hell find a way to pay her teacher back. If there's some kind of drama going on, why not just handle it at the front office? What's the point of all this mess?🤷

Honestly, I think you’re the one mostly at fault here. Instead of just heading over to that other school just five minutes away to drop off the cash—or even just sending it with the kid that same day—you had the teacher tell him to give it back? And then you come on here expecting us all to just jump on her and trash her methods? Really?

So that's how it goes... teacher borrowed some cash, kid brought the money... no big deal, right?
If anything seems unclear or if you have any issues, just touch base with the teacher later on. Sound good?

Yeah, you’re basically dragging the teacher and the whole faculty. It's pretty obvious from what you wrote about them just sitting around in the lounge eating and drinking while barely moving once the bell rings. Is that really how you see them?

Facts... you can tell she has zero respect for her teachers from the way she writes.

And again, how on earth do you even know what that teacher is thinking? $6.75 It wasn't even as big as yours. Maybe she chipped in at the end too? $6.75 It came straight out of your son's pocket just so he wouldn't feel left out. And then you had the nerve to tell him his mom should pay it back? Like maybe she actually needed that money as much as you did??!!

Of course, just because she lent her guy some cash with good intentions doesn't make her Santa Claus. Her mom isn't exactly thrilled about it either... and if she calls her out, she’ll probably never lend him a dime again. Not that anyone else will be jumping at the chance to help, either.

And what about her kid? If I'm right, he's 10—old enough to warn him about stuff like this. You basically sent him to McDonald's empty-handed. At least tell him to eat the lunch you packed or remind him not to take money from anyone. The whole thing about having four kids or struggling with money isn't even relevant here.

Maybe it is... she mentioned an ex-stepdad, so there's a dad, then an ex-stepdad, now a current stepdad... It's pretty obvious that the way she writes (not that I usually comment on grammar, mine isn't perfect either) shows someone who... how can I say this without being rude? Maybe she's just not great at communicating, struggles with people, or is dealing with some heavy life stuff, which might make parenting a bit harder for her than for others.

I don't get why you even started this thread if you expected everyone to agree with you. This is a forum; everyone’s entitled to their opinion. There's no need to attack people just because they see things differently.

Exactly... I'm with you on that. Not that we can call it a "conclusion" since we aren't objective and don't know the full story, but my gut feeling matches yours. We're definitely on the same page.😉

Joshua Parker11 said:That’s not some "tiny oversight." Like she admitted herself, Mom has this habit of constantly being oblivious to what's right in front of her.
And honestly, she totally could have planned for this. Based on everything we know, she knew a day before the trip that all the kids were heading to McDonald's.

Just run to the neighbor's or the local corner store and swap those $17 for some cash, or give the kid at least 5 or 10 bucks if that's all you can do. Just tell him you're out of cash and he'll manage.

Joshua Parker11 said:I'm with you—it's her money and she can spend it however she wants. The field trip thing is fine, but she knew they were going to McDonald's. She could've easily given him $1.75 for an ice cream while they were there; nobody was forcing a specific menu on them.
The kid is old enough now, and she should've explained that he shouldn't take money from anyone.
And yeah, she could've settled this directly with the teacher. But nope, apparently it's more important to trash her on a forum than to walk 60 meters to the school—which she claims is right there—to fix the situation instead of dragging the kid into all this drama.

She could've done anything, but she didn't.🤷

I'm just wondering: what if the kid came home miserable because they were at McDonough and everyone—all the kids and even the teacher—was eating, but he didn't have cash for an ice cream? What if everyone teased him and he felt terrible because of the bullying? Would you guys start a thread saying: "I didn't give my kid $1.75 for ice cream because I made him lunch, but now he's standing there alone getting picked on by everyone, and the teacher didn't even care because she was too busy eating her burger with the other kids while he sat there with his crackers"? She'd be such a cold person... and I really wonder if people would be trashing the teacher then.
I bet they would.
Bottom line, this whole thing was avoidable.
It wasn't. Fine. But Mom could also just own up to her mistakes and stop making such a massive drama out of it. She knowingly didn't give the kid cash, okay. The teacher offered it, okay. The kid took it, and the teacher asked for it back, okay—just go talk to the teacher, return the money, and call it a day in Canada.

Look, she doesn't work, so money doesn't just grow on trees, and we need to be sympathetic to that. Meanwhile, the teacher has money to throw around, so she doesn't need the reimbursement. The kid accepted the cash with the understanding he'd pay it back, so what's the big deal now?🤷

It's probably not even a big deal for the kid. He's likely used to stuff like this, and I doubt him getting a loan from a teacher is some huge trauma—not if people don't turn it into a massive drama.

I’m just wondering... what if my kid came home miserable because they were all at McDonald's and everyone—all the kids and even the teacher—was eating, but he didn't have cash for an ice cream bar? Imagine him standing there while everyone teases him, feeling terrible. Would people still be opening threads asking, "Should I have given my kid $1.75 for ice cream?" when I actually made him a packed lunch instead? He was just standing on the sidelines getting picked on while the teacher ignored him because she was too busy stuffing her face with a burger with the rest of the class. She couldn't care less how he felt. Talk about cold-hearted... honestly, would people be dragging the teacher just as much then? I bet they would.

Yeah... total ice queen...

Bottom line? This could've been avoided.

Yep, totally could have. Though I wouldn't call this a massive deal either.

It's not. Fine. But the mom could also look at her own mistakes instead of making such a huge drama out of it.

Ha... sounds familiar. Just said the same thing.

Look, she intentionally didn't give the kid money, okay? The teacher offered it, fine, the kid took it. The teacher asked for it back, okay—just go talk to the teacher, return the cash, and call it a day. Simple.

👍
I think that covers everything that needs to be said here. IMO.

Listen, she's not working, and money doesn't grow on trees, so we should get that. Meanwhile, the teacher has money to spare, so there's no need to pay her back. The kid accepted the money knowing he had to return it, so what's the big issue now?🤷

Are you reading my mind?😁

Kimberly Robinson2 said:I think you just don't get how things work for some of us... I don't have a job, I don't have any steady US dollars coming in! If I have anything, it's from selling stuff on eBay, but I haven't moved anything lately. It’s easy to talk when you actually have money to spare. I live with my boyfriend and he is drowning in debt—he had it before we moved in together, but we thought, "hey, we can handle this"—except we both have four kids total between us that we're still paying child support for! (I get my portion of the benefits, but he doesn't, so it all comes out of our joint account.) We're at the point where despite being in love, we're considering breaking up because we just can't make ends meet. 😢...He'd go back to his family, and I'd be forced to move back in with my ex, who used to be abusive and would hit me. That's my life. So don't come at me about $6.75! 🙂

because she knew the kid would be staring at the floor while the other children were eating (if I recall correctly from a previous post, she mentioned she didn't have any cash on her, which means she *did* have the money).

Well, I stare at the floor, too—plenty of times. That's just how life goes. And yeah, I did have $17 in my purse, but that was meant for groceries. For dinner.

Second, if I didn't have $6.75 in my pocket, I wouldn't have sent my child on that trip at all just to put them in that kind of embarrassing situation.

I paid for the trip ($15) before they even found out about that infamous trip to McDonald's.
So what now, am I supposed to ask for a refund? I did what I had to do...

Furthermore, what I resent most is that after everything happened, she let the kid spend days waiting for the teacher to ask about the money, while she spent her time on this forum trashing the teacher, the school, and the trip fees, instead of just going to the school the very next day, returning the money to the teacher, and having a conversation to ensure it never happens again.

It wasn't days; I went there the next morning to get the money and sent it the following day. I am NOT trashing the teacher—I said she was fine otherwise—but until I actually speak with her, I can't say anything definitive. Right now, my only grievance is that she made the little guy beg for money. I have my cell phone, and my school is only 60m from my apartment—it's a one-minute walk. But I didn't go immediately because I had other obligations. Am I really expected to justify every single minute of my life? 🤷

No, she sent him to the movies after being out of school for a day or two—just so the kid wouldn't feel left out, right?—but apparently, it’s perfectly fine if he ends up isolated at her McDonald's because of her own mistake rather than the teacher's. I make sure he goes on every single field trip, including that summer camp from $400, yet she won't even pack $1.75 for him for ice cream, even though she knows all the kids will be heading to McDonald's.

They HAD to go to the movies! Go ahead, ask the school why... And he doesn't go on "every" trip. So far, he's only had one freebie. As for summer camp, his stepfather promised to pay for it. He gave him $133 so far, paid the first installment, and now I'll be doing the second one next week...
If we need to back out of the beach trip, we can—they refund everything if you cancel.

Yeah, sure, the teacher is the villain here.🙄
The teacher did the right thing by giving the kid money for a Happy Meal, but I do resent her asking for that $6 back.
Honestly, I see a lot of hypocrisy going on here. You're all attacking the teacher for asking for a measly $6, yet you're totally fine with the mom because you assume $7.00 is a massive amount of money for her. How do you know that $6 isn't also a huge deal to the teacher?$7.00

I've already made my stance clear on this. My only issue is that she didn't call me into the school immediately instead of badgering my son for cash. She could have just told him—perfectly fine, really—that she was just lending it to him and would settle it with his mother. That's where the problem lies.

I’d honestly rather just go hungry that day and give the money to my kid instead, you know? $17 That's plenty for a pound of potatoes. Just make some wedges—or whatever cheap side dish you're feeling—toss in a little flour, and boom, you've got a solid dinner. Plus, you'll still have change left over.$10 For a kid... or maybe even a teenager.
Sending a kid on a field trip without any cash? Not even a single buck? That just doesn't sit right with me.
Maybe some people don't... but I honestly feel like that isn't even a factor here, you know?

Honestly, my only gripe so far is that she was constantly bugging him for cash.

She wasn't begging him for cash... "begging" implies asking someone to just hand over their money as a gift. She was just lending the kid some money. I'm sure she had good intentions, too—plus, as a parent, you've gotta teach them that this is a loan, not a handout. You can't just expect people to give you free money, right?

I’ve already made my stance clear on this. My only gripe is that she didn't call me to school right away instead of just begging a kid for cash.

Look, he’s only six and he isn't slow... I just lent him some cash, the kid ate it up, and I'll pay it back later. Where's the big deal?
If you really hate it that much—like, she actually stepped up for your kid because she didn't want them feeling left out or bummed—maybe just tell her calmly? Just let her know you're fine with the little one skipping it and that she can just sit back and watch. Simple, right?
If they really didn't give us a heads-up... yeah, I'm with you. That's just not right. But even without that notice, shouldn't it be a given to give a kid some extra cash when they're heading out on a field trip?

She could've just told him she was only lending it to him and that she'd sort things out with her mom later. But hey, that's where it all falls apart, right?

I don't see the issue here. I lend you something, tell you to pay me back... why involve a third party? Even a ten-year-old gets that. It’s not always because someone is broke or struggling. Anyone can find themselves in a pinch—like forgetting your wallet at a Starbucks or something—and a friend steps in to cover you. You just pay them back later, right?

rustydrifter10 said:I actually laid out my whole philosophy on this in two different posts over in the "Adolescents and Contraception" thread, so feel free to go check those out if you're interested! 🙂

Here's the first one.

And here's the second.

Our family has always been big on being totally honest and open; honestly, we don't think eight years old is too young to start having these conversations. We never did that thing where you hide things or use weird euphemisms; we just called everything by its real name instead of using silly little nicknames.

You nailed this. (The first one was great too, but this one is 👍)
Quincy:

We’ve always been super upfront and honest with each other; eight years old isn't too young for the truth. We never sugarcoated things or talked in circles—we just called things what they actually were.

I was watching a video from recently... my little one was lounging on a chair about a year and a half after we met and goes: "Mommy has a gun"... she had the whole word down pretty fast.😁