Posts by Jeffrey Fisher5

casualridge8 said:@Jeffrey Fisher5, I think you might have missed the mark on this topic. There are actually a few different threads floating around here specifically about ungrateful kids, so maybe give those a look?

What I’m really trying to get at is how people handle that heavy, natural sense of guilt that kicks in when they move away from their parents. And isn't that feeling so much more intense if your parents were actually good to you? It’s a different beast entirely compared to when the relationship was toxic...

How do you all deal with that weight?

😉

I fear you may have overlooked the other side of the coin—that is, what I was actually attempting to convey.
The issue isn't about ungrateful offspring; it is about the burden of guilt.
Typically, an ungrateful child doesn't feel any guilt at all... because they leave without much thought or purpose, only resurfacing when they find themselves in a bind.😉

There is no true guilt if you are acting rationally—if you are maturing, evaluating your relationship with your parents, and shedding what is no longer necessary—because without correcting the patterns established in childhood, one remains stuck in a state of perpetual immaturity.
Leaving the nest is a natural stage of life, and that is precisely how it ought to unfold.
However, the moment an adult child begins to feel guilty about leaving, it suggests they haven't fully reconciled with their own decision—or perhaps they aren't entirely sure what it was they actually wanted.
As for the parents' feelings when an adult child departs, they are rarely devoid of concern (and occasionally fear), but that is a separate psychological phenomenon altogether. There must be clarity for both parties.
Leaving the family home unnecessarily—simply for the sake of leaving because "everyone else is doing it" (which was my point in the initial post)—is usually a misguided choice on the part of the child.

Do you honestly believe I didn't leave my childhood home...😉
And I did so without a shred of guilt.
I left when I felt it was the right thing to do—moving quite far away for many years—and when I eventually returned, it wasn't out of guilt, but rather out of a sense of responsibility and love.

James Lopez11 said:Has anyone here actually reached out to ask for forgiveness? I mean, truly, sincerely? Was it humble, and did the apology actually land when it happened? I’m not sure if this counts as spiritual stuff—this isn't from some self-help book or anything—but I'm in the middle of it right now. I’ve realized how some of my past actions really messed things up for someone else. I can feel the negative energy lingering, but I also feel like if I can find a way to be genuinely sorry deep down, that energy might just heal itself... both in me and in them. What do you guys think about that?

Forgiveness from whom?
From God, or from another person?

When it comes to asking God for forgiveness, it felt instantaneous for me—but from people? That has never happened.

Perhaps we should examine this from a different angle altogether...😉

I am curious—where exactly do you all draw the line regarding:
—the balance between respecting one's parents and simply acknowledging generational divides?
—the weight of responsibility we owe them?
—and the empathy required to understand the sheer pain and uncertainty parents face when their children vanish, cutting off all communication entirely?

To be clear, I am referring to standard, well-meaning parents here—not abusers.
It is practically a universal truth that no adult child exists without some level of friction with their parents—be it disagreements over values, lifestyle choices, or that innate, driving urge to break free from parental influence.

But where does the boundary lie?

Ever since the war era, there was this growing sentiment sweeping through the States, almost as a mantra: "get as far away from your parents as possible!"
The idea was that children shouldn't be pushovers—they shouldn't let their parents meddle in their lives or dictate their path.😉
Then, of course, came the economic downturn and the waves of unemployment. Suddenly, almost overnight, we saw children—along with their entire families, most of whom had established themselves far from home—moving back under their parents' roofs.😉

Interestingly, parents weren't quite as suffocating or possessive as they once were.
Having extra space and an extra set of hands contributing to the household—even with Social Security checks coming in—wasn't a bad thing at all.

And here is the kicker.

Children don't suddenly reject the inheritance left by those very same "suffocating" parents—parents they often don't even bother to check in on...

There is a certain sense of guilt inherent in every child—and believe me, we have all been there—that isn't necessarily forced upon us by our parents. If a person is mature enough to establish healthy boundaries without fleeing from the duty and respect owed to a mother or father—regardless of how much more worldly, educated, or fundamentally different their worldview may be compared to the previous generation!

Justin Garcia7 said:I feel like I’ve hit a standstill on my own spiritual road, and I could really use some words of wisdom to get me through. 🤣
It wasn't such a big deal before—I was just cruising through life—but lately, I've developed this intense craving for a partner who is my absolute perfect match.
To be honest, I can't bring myself to be in just any relationship. I've become incredibly picky about everything, and I know I need someone who is as close to me as possible, almost an identical soul. I'm not sure why my mindset shifted so suddenly, but at least I'm finally aware of what I actually want... the question is, how do I find my twin flame?
Even casual hookups just don't feel meaningful anymore. 🤷
This longing is starting to feel suffocating. It’s getting hard to focus on my work and personal growth when I feel like everything would just click so much easier if I had the right partner by my side.

A classic case of narcis syndrome...😍
Personally speaking, there were times when I wouldn't have even wanted someone that similar to me—because, let’s face it, living with your own reflection would eventually become absolutely unbearable!
A soulmate? Sure, I get that.

Morgan Bishop4 said:but why would it be sad, man? 😁 I mean, it doesn't mean people are totally depressed or hate being alive, or that they're waking up every day praying for the end... I think most people are actually living pretty damn happy lives, they just aren't sprinting after the same hollow stuff that younger souls obsess over. Maybe they’d rather spend their time gardening, making art, cooking, singing in a choir, or whatever else... 😁doesn't really matter..
And if you look at it another way, it kind of makes sense that evolution moves in that direction, because if we’re all essentially spiritual beings, the ultimate goal can’t be getting obsessed with material junk or thinking you've peaked when you've successfully manipulated a bunch of people just to stack more cash...

😉
writing on this forum... likewise

I suppose I am an old soul in that regard; it has always been clear to me that I won't be taking anything from this material world with me when I go (and I realized that long before reaching retirement age). A small part of me finds people rather predictable—their actions rarely catch me off guard—I often have this feeling: *deja vu*.
Even as a child, I possessed a temperament far beyond my years; I was self-taught—or rather, I recall being able to—to read and write well before even starting elementary school, picked up foreign languages without any real struggle, read serious literature by the age of ten, and harbored a profound, soul-deep loathing for mathematics...😂 I knew instinctively it wouldn't serve me much (and indeed, outside of basic daily needs, it hasn't).
I genuinely enjoy people; I like helping them whenever and however I can. People generally enjoy talking, and many have told me that a conversation with me brings them a sense of calm—though I am certainly no licensed therapist😉—and I find it remarkably easy to connect with anyone, anywhere; I can almost immediately sense what is weighing on the person I'm speaking with...
I am a decent listener...
But truthfully, I am happiest in the tranquility of my own home, surrounded by my roses, my animals (and I don't just mean pets), and my books... I take great pleasure in doing everything for my children, yet I find even more joy in exchanging thoughts and experiences with them without ever overstepping into their private lives.

If I am, by chance, already so close to fulfillment, well... I think I would much rather be a young soul. Just so I could continue gathering experiences in the future, because I am genuinely curious to see what becomes of things in 100, or 500 years, and so on.

I have been dwelling on the concept of human gratitude for quite some time now—perhaps a bit too long, if I am being honest.
I find myself unable to reach any sort of internal consensus regarding what gratitude actually entails—assuming, of course, we aren't strictly discussing one's devotion to God—and more specifically, how it ought to function within the messy complexities of human relationships.

Is it a matter of mere obligation, a response to social expectations, or something deeper rooted in one's own conscience????

☕

vividtrucker92 said:Man, I’ve been dealing with this exact same headache for two decades now. Honestly, there isn't a single cream or ointment out there I haven't tried. But this winter, I finally stumbled onto something that actually works. Go to a pharmacy and grab that Eucerin foot cream with 10% urea. It’s a total game-changer, guaranteed. My big tip? You really need to commit and go through at least two tubes. Don't just slap it on top of your skin—you’ve gotta actually massage it in every single day to make it stick. Once you've done that initial heavy lifting, you can just use it whenever you feel things getting dry again. It’s definitely on the pricier side, usually running around $27 depending on which CVS you hit up, but it spreads really easily, so a little goes a long way. Good luck.

I used to suffer from this too, but I’ve managed to get it under control over the years by following the method described below—mostly after realizing that all the local products here in the States were a complete waste of time.
The reality is, you can't permanently "cure" this thing.

1. During the initial phase (about one month)
Soak your feet twice a week for about 30 minutes in five liters of warm water mixed with a teaspoon of baking soda.
2. Immediately after drying off, gently exfoliate using a pumice stone. (Please, for heaven's sake, do not try to cut or scrape the cracked skin away with sharp objects—like pedicure blades or scalpels—and don't force it to the point of injury. This isn't something you fix in one sitting.)
3. Apply a thick layer of Hautbalsan (calendula)
4. Put on some white ankle socks immediately and leave them on for an hour until the balm is fully absorbed.

Later on, once the initial treatment is done,
you should repeat this routine regularly—basically twice a month—especially during the summer when you're wearing sandals and going without socks.

A bag of baking soda (Keisernatron) is only about 50g, lasts a long time, and you can pick it up anywhere in Austria or Germany.
As for the Hautbalsan:
That calendula-based German product comes in a 250ml tub and lasts me up to six months.
I’m not entirely sure what the exact prices are in Germany because a friend usually ships it to me, but I know you can sometimes order it specially at certain American pharmacies.
It might seem like a slightly larger upfront investment, but it certainly won't exceed 25 Dollars, and you only need it twice a year.
Ultimately, you end up spending more on local products that don't even work.
PS: Now that we're part of the EU, you can find almost anything online, as international shipping and COD options are much easier to come by.

Daniel Ward87 said:The ultimate punishment for anyone on a Forum is getting promoted to moderator. 🙂

👏

...if only they realized just how much truth there is in that statement! 😉

If there’s already a thread covering this—I couldn't seem to find one—then thanks for letting me join the conversation.

Mayo Clinic, Endocrinology and Metabolic Disorders Department

For about a decade now, I’ve been accompanying an older family member to appointments every six months—someone dealing with diabetes, partial vision loss, and significant mobility issues.
Over the last two and a half years of waiting around, I've noticed so many senseless, unnecessary changes during every visit; they serve little purpose other than disorienting the elderly patients who primarily seek care there.
-The reception desks: one time they were organized by zip code, the next they weren't.
-There simply aren't enough chairs for everyone sitting in the waiting area.
-The layout is incredibly confusing, especially when the crowds pick up.
-Regarding lab work: once you get your tests done, scheduling a follow-up—or rather, getting someone to actually interpret the results—is never available sooner than four weeks out, and sometimes it stretches to eight. One has to wonder how relevant those results even remain for determining a treatment plan after such a long delay.
-The doctors and nurses show evident frustration and burnout—it seems from our conversations that this is a byproduct of merging with Johns Hopkins Hospital and subsequent staffing cuts. It results in these rushed, perfuncthest conversations with patients, where a "real" exam only happens if the patient specifically complains about a particular symptom.
-As the sole companion (and a relative), I'm there to assist with things like dressing and undressing—given the patient has a very stiff hip—yet I've encountered outright refusals to be present during the exam. Some of the nurses working with certain specialists showed absolutely no willingness to assist the patient at all.
That said, I must admit there are exceptionally kind and competent professionals among the staff; they just seem completely overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work.

Since we all eventually face the reality of visiting some major American hospital (or any facility in any city, really), what has your experience been like for those of you currently receiving treatment in them?

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