Posts by Susan James

Richard Perez3 said:The first parent-teacher conference isn't until sophomore year.
So basically, just push it off until then.
Man, I honestly can't decide if that's a good call or not. It feels like such a long way out just to bring this up at a meeting.
I mean, the teacher can't really do anything about it anyway. I'd have to take it up with the private tutor directly, and if I'm being real, I’ve got a few other things I’d want to throw at her too.

What do you mean the teacher can't do anything? How did the kids end up wandering off onto the field?😕

northerncobra27 said:Given how much conformity we run into in our day-to-day lives across America, I’m not entirely sure why it surprises you to see it surfacing in a topic like this. And really, it isn't strictly about just following the crowd. It’s more complicated than that. You can't simply leave a seven-year-old unsupervised for two hours every week; while you're busy fighting against social conformity, you might have one kid sitting lonely in a hallway and another wandering off somewhere entirely unexpected...

Now, I’m not a believer myself, but I do understand the significance of Mass within a faith community. That’s why it really gets under my skin when I hear people complaining about having to take their child to Mass. If a child is preparing for First Communion or Confirmation, Sunday Mass should naturally become a part of their life. If attending Mass is such a monumental burden in your household, why on earth are you signing them up for these sacraments in the first place? We should probably take a moment to reflect on our own stances and consider what kind of example we are setting for our children. Any bad influence they encounter in a religious ed class can be corrected later, but the negative lessons they learn from us tend to take much deeper root..

This topic has been beaten to death on this forum a thousand times already.
You can always enroll your kid in religious education later if you notice they're the only one left sitting solo in the hallway during class (and honestly, if their school life is a struggle, it's not worth stressing over that one specific hour), but it’s not nearly as easy to unenroll them once the school year is already underway.
Parents really ought to have that figured out from the start.
So many parents worry about whether their child will "fit in." But let's be real—maybe they won't fit in even if you sign them up. In fact, I’ve actually seen kids who struggled more because they had nobody to talk to about those religious topics at home, either because the parents don't know anything about it or they just don't discuss it. Plus, they aren't going to church on Sundays anyway, so those kids end up feeling isolated regardless. At least this way, they’re "accounted for" during that hour.

The real issue is that enrollment usually happens back in June, right when people have no clue how the schedule is organized, how many other kids won't be attending, or what the classroom vibe will actually be like.

So, to the two of you (@Tyler Ruiz502 😉), please don't just check "yes" on the form now. Wait until the first or second week of school if you're actually giving this some thought.
The worst thing that could happen is having to buy the textbooks yourself (if the school requires it), though that's unlikely.
If anything, you might just get an extra "blessing" for changing your mind last minute. ☕

Then again, you might not even bother changing your mind because having two free periods isn't a bad thing at all. Actually, it can be pretty useful; if the child is in a quiet environment, they can read a book they love, draw, practice their handwriting, or knock out all their homework before after-school programs so they can just play the rest of the time. 😍
Not to mention absences. I knew a little guy who missed two days of school, and on the third day, he used his religious ed period to catch up on work, and even the teacher helped him out.
It was priceless.
I mean, they're at school during that hour anyway.

Tyler Ruiz502 said:We’re still debating whether or not to sign our kid up for religion class. She hasn't been baptized—honestly, she’s never even stepped foot inside a church, doesn't pray, and we don't really talk about God at home. We just tell her that some people believe in things.

I feel like there’s some kind of value in letting her experience what goes on in those classrooms firsthand—you know, so she can actually form her own opinion instead of just hearing us talk about it. But then again... I can't help but wonder if that's a valid excuse to expose a child to all that nonsense.

Do parents have to make that choice during enrollment, or does it happen later in September?

It’s pretty wild when you think about it—it’s basically the only subject where they teach things that aren't even factually true, yet nobody seems to give a damn. 😍

Tyler Ruiz502 said:Growing up, I was constantly questioning everything—it was a total "WTF" moment for me (and honestly, I can't speak for everyone else, but I was lost). I’d just sit there wondering, how is it even possible to walk on water? Like, how did he just feed an entire crowd with five loaves and two fish? It makes zero sense when you think about it.
If prayer actually worked, then why is the world still full of sickness, accidents, and pure evil?

I vividly remember hearing that "those who don't believe won't make it to heaven," and man, I went through this massive internal struggle when I was maybe nine or ten years old. I was wrestling with myself, thinking: if I don't believe, but He *does* exist, then I'm totally screwed—I'll just burn in hell. But if I don't believe and He doesn't exist, then everything is fine. I used to tell myself, "Forgive me, God, but I really don't think You're real because this is just impossible." I even tried explaining to my mom that I didn't think any of it was true, and she just told me to shut up.

That's probably why it might be best for kids to actually be exposed to all these stories anyway—so they can decide for themselves whether they want to listen or believe.
With a little bit of luck, you might even stumble upon a decent religion class teacher.

Tyler Ruiz502 said:I’m with you there—honestly, looking at something like religion class, I see a massive opportunity to actually encourage some critical thinking.
I mean, what's the harm in just asking her what they discussed and getting her take on it? It shouldn't be a big deal.

Small tangent here—we ended up buying one of those "princess" accessory sets today; you know, a tiara, a ring, and some earrings. Total junk, honestly. The tiara keeps sliding right off her head, and the earrings snapped almost immediately.

She actually called it out herself—said it was a stupid thing to make, designed just so some kid wants it, leaving parents to waste money on nothing.

It feels like a much better teaching moment to let her experience that than to just refuse to buy it and try to lecture her about why the product is garbage.

Go back and read what you wrote one more time, then ask yourself: is this really what a kid needs at the start of their schooling? Is the goal of first grade to debate the existence of God, or is it to learn how to read and write, do basic math, and recite numbers and colors in English?

If you’re looking at enrolling a kid who’s already tackling all this stuff back in first grade, maybe they won't be bored out of their minds in class—though honestly, I wouldn't recommend jumping the gun like that either way.
Using those two hours of "religion class" in the library is actually a pretty smart move; it’s a great chance for kids to practice their handwriting or math if they're struggling, or even spend some quality time with a speech therapist if needed. Plus, once they finish their work, having that time to just hang out and play outside is absolutely priceless.
They’ll have plenty of time to question the entire universe once they hit puberty anyway.

To be honest, reading your take makes me think I might actually want my own kid to pick religion class in high school, just so she can start questioning everything they teach in those lessons.🙂
🙂

Jason Ortiz5 said:Ever heard that old saying about "signing a contract with the devil"? It basically means there's no way out once you're in. I think it comes from Catholic traditions... 😀

😂

This is actually quite literal.

Larry Walker24 said:Parents at John F. Kennedy High School in Chicago just got their paperwork to pick electives for the upcoming school year. Specifically, this is hitting parents of seventh graders.

One parent from the Central Park area took to Facebook to vent about the notice they received, saying: "So this is how the religious reform actually works in our local schools. Computer science or Spanish? Who cares; you can drop those in a heartbeat—no signature required. But Religion? Yeah, that's a whole different ballgame..."

To opt out of religion classes, both parents have to sign a formal waiver, whereas for electives like computer science or Spanish, you just leave the box unchecked. It's hard to say why tech and languages suddenly seem less important than religion in this setup.

It leaves you wondering—what happens if a kid doesn't want to take religion, but only has one parent's support? Or what if they're in a single-parent household?

Only one parent needs to sign for enrollment, 🥳
but for opting out, you need two.🍿
I honestly think we should require a notary public to verify these things, just to be safe.
Maybe we should even designate a legal guardian for special cases, so we can ensure a parent isn't manipulating a child's right to spiritual growth.🙂

Regarding dropping German, I actually know of a situation where a student opted out without their parents ever knowing—they just filled out that school survey themselves and forged a parent's signature.

James Hall68 said:Why make this so complicated?
What exactly are your children learning from you?
The first step should be asking your kids what they actually want. If they have an interest in religious studies, then enroll them; if they don't, there are plenty of other ways to handle it.
Why on earth are we placing all this emphasis on the school system or the instructors when the choice rests entirely with you?
Oh, please...
Stand by your own convictions instead of pointing fingers at everyone else!
Your child should have the sole right to decide whether they want to attend religious education or not, regardless of your personal views.
In fact, by forcing a child to either attend or skip these classes, you might actually be violating one of their fundamental rights as individuals!

Sorry, but how am I supposed to ask a preschooler if they want to take religious studies if they've never even heard of it before starting school?
Especially if neither they nor their parents ever go to church?
What kind of message does that send—asking them about religion but not asking if they want to take History, Art, or Math?

My personal take is that the subject doesn't really belong in the public school system.
A lot of what is taught feels pretty outdated. Plus, I'm not a fan of the current administration or the various interest groups pulling the strings, and I don't want to support that by enrolling my child.
However, since it is an option at school, choosing *not* to enroll them provides a great opportunity for a child to learn that it's perfectly fine to be different and not just follow the crowd.
It actually works out well; she often mentions that it’s her favorite period of the day...

After seeing how things went this time, if I were to ask her again for second grade, she’d probably say she doesn't want to go...

Michelle Nelson4 said:Honestly, things in our preschools aren't quite where they should be. My take? It’s nothing out of the ordinary, because even when we face much bigger issues, the solution isn't to create more groups or hire extra teachers. Instead, we just cram the existing ones until they hit maximum capacity. And this is supposed to be the crown jewel of our entire education system! So, if anyone thinks delaying enrollment is a great fix, they really ought to think twice about how we're just trying to squeeze the same old results out of the same overstuffed classrooms. Personally, I don't mind having preschoolers around, but if someone decided next year to just completely wreck a group's dynamic by stuffing it full of "repeaters" who supposedly just needed "one more year of play," I wouldn't be able to sit idly by and watch that happen.

Regarding these mixed-age groups where 50% are preschoolers—that sounds like a very specific situation that I haven't encountered anywhere else. Usually, you either see mixed groups ranging from ages 3 to 7 where there's maybe a 20% split per age bracket (like in those specialized Montessori, sports, or language immersion programs), or they simply organize kids by their birth year.

a) There aren't any extra teachers available. From what I’ve heard lately, it’s incredibly hard to find staff, whether it's for maternity leave coverage or new permanent hires.
b) Kids have a right to defer school enrollment, and preschools have to provide space or programming for them.
c) Just because you haven't heard about it doesn't mean it isn't happening.
It's definitely a thing, and it's becoming more common (having half pre-K kids and half younger toddlers).
And even if it weren't common yet, I think it's something worth considering.
It’s actually pretty easy to manage, especially since kids enroll in preschool after age three, and toddler groups are usually smaller and need to be filled out eventually. Whether they are standard classrooms or specialized Montessori or sports programs... it can be done. No one is suggesting we change everything during a child's final year of preschool, which would be a shame for everyone involved—not just the kids deferring school.

(This could even happen at the start of enrollment. Often, there's an effort to keep toddler groups very uniform, so they'll enroll kids born between May and August who barely made the cutoff. Then, toward the end of that first toddler year, they fill spots with newer enrollees who might end up starting school earlier or later than the first group.🤷

Mixed 3-7 age groups aren't just found in high-end private academies anymore. More and more daycares are doing this for various reasons, most often just to meet enrollment numbers or to keep siblings together.

I still think you're right about that mom; she probably did it on a whim without telling the daycare, so the center just placed her child wherever there was an opening. That wasn't ideal.
But we shouldn't use that one example to discourage parents from deferring school. Instead, we should encourage them to have open conversations with the daycare. When they discuss deferring, they should also plan out that extra year of childcare right then and there.

Michelle Nelson4 said:As far as I know, the pre-K classes are just completely packed, and our local daycare has about 28 kids in one group already. ☕ It’s not like they’re going to cram all the pre-K students into one massive room just because they're technically the same age—we aren't seeing groups of 30+ children like that. Usually, the school doesn't just tear up existing classes to fix things; they just slot the new enrollments or the kids who didn't get into their preferred group into whichever classroom still has an open spot left...

I haven't seen any posts from you yet! Feel free to jump in whenever you're ready. kaže:
I honestly don’t see what the big deal is here. The groups are organized strictly by age. Back in late August of last year, we had a specific preschool group wrapping up, and if six or seven of those kids didn't transition straight into kindergarten, they’d either get slotted into another preschool group if there was room, or they'd move into the younger toddler-prep stage. It really comes down to the math. Those kids are typically around 4 or 5 years old, whereas these "repeaters" are actually 6.5—meaning they're two full years older. Because of that gap, most of them are turning seven now, while the rest of the class hasn't even hit six yet. A few of them are doing the advanced preschool curriculum, but that doesn't change the reality: about 80% of the group is still significantly younger.

My son is absolutely obsessed with one of them, though I’m starting to suspect the feeling might not be mutual! 😁

When schools decide to postpone classes, I really feel like there needs to be a clear justification for it. It’s not just about calling things off; there should also be a solid plan in place to address whatever issue caused the delay in the first place. If we're going to pause, let's make sure we have a way to fix the problem so everyone can get back on track.
Moving a kid into a younger age group feels like you're just playing musical chairs with daycare slots, especially when there’s zero communication from the parents. In my experience, if a parent doesn't give you a heads-up that school might need to be pushed back, you end up in a real bind. This parent showed up with paperwork in June—or maybe even August—well after the new enrollment period had already closed. Honestly, it just isn't right. It’s not fair to the child, and it’s definitely not fair to the other kids who were already settled into their groups for the year.

Even if the preschool claims the child is already performing at a five-year-old level and will be just fine, I’m not really on board with that approach right now. My issue isn't necessarily with how they're handling things today, but rather that these assessments should have been completed a few years ago to get ahead of this.

The fact that daycare centers are overcrowded—and that they seem to resist letting kids move up to the next level just to keep their enrollment numbers high—doesn't justify putting a child in a group that completely fails to meet their developmental needs. I remember when my little one was struggling with certain milestones, and it felt like we were being pushed toward a specific program just because it was convenient for the facility, not because it was right for him. We have to advocate for what actually works for the kid, regardless of how full the classrooms are.
We could honestly go on forever about his mom and how she kept putting off school because of her own obsessions, but let’s be real—the way the professionals are handling this is incredibly reckless. It’s just not okay.

One way we might be able to prevent these kinds of situations is by creating mixed-age groups—maybe around three to seven kids per cluster—or at least making sure the groups are split between those who are officially school-aged and those who aren't. It’s definitely something that could be worked out, especially in those larger daycare centers or preschools, provided there's enough willingness to make the change. I remember back when my nephew was in a big center in Chicago, they tried a similar approach and it really helped balance out the energy levels!

Robert Rodriguez9 said:It's not like everyone ends up the same height and weight later on. There are always huge physical differences.

No matter how you slice it, there will always be kids in a class with a significant age gap. If they aren't the youngest, they're the oldest.
In my elementary school class, the kid who was a full year older than most of us was one of the worst students, so age alone doesn't prove anything.

They definitely exist.
In our family, the biggest gap we've seen was between the kids who invited us over for their 7th birthday back in January (two little girls, quite petite, maybe around 4 feet tall) and the two who are inviting us now for their 8th.

With only about a 10-month age gap, there's at least a 6-inch difference in height.
I won't even get into 🍿

Robert Rodriguez9 said:It's not like everyone ends up the same height and weight later on. There are always huge physical differences.

No matter how you slice it, there will always be kids in a class with a significant age gap. If they aren't the youngest, they're the oldest.
In my elementary school class, the kid who was a full year older than most of us was one of the worst students, so age alone doesn't prove anything.

Of course age isn't everything, because kids develop at such different paces and have totally different levels of stimulation. That said, starting school a little "early" might actually be stimulating for some kids in terms of learning, especially if their social-emotional development is on track and/or if they live in an environment that isn't particularly stimulating.

On the flip side, for kids who are already facing challenges—especially with speech and language development—even delaying things (meaning waiting to start school later) can sometimes feel "detrimental." It affects their intellectual growth, but mostly their social-emotional side. When it comes to practice and learning, I think it's much easier to handle through preschool rather than jumping straight into school (assuming, of course, the parents have the capacity to encourage the child).

So, it's really vital to get a solid diagnosis with a recommendation regarding that extra year of delay.

Michelle Nelson4 said:I honestly cannot wrap my head around this whole idea that someone born in February 2011 is somehow at a disadvantage or "pitiful" just because there are kids born in April 2010. It makes zero sense to me!

Personally, I was born in April, and even though I started school just under the age of six and a half, I never once felt behind or had any issues whatsoever. My own child was born in January and also started at 6.5—she’s consistently getting top marks, she’s one of the most athletic kids in her PE class, and her best friends are actually nearly a year older than she is. She fits in perfectly. So, in my experience, a child starting at 6.5 instead of 7.5 isn't an inherent problem at all.

Actually, I saw a bit of a scene the other morning at daycare. I was dropping off my youngest right when a mom was there with her son, who didn't start kindergarten last year. Most of the group has just turned five, so they're basically celebrating their seventh birthdays by the time they hit the big leagues. Anyway, it was such a dramatic moment—the poor little guy was crying his eyes out because he didn't want to go to daycare, and his mom was just desperately trying to convince him that he only had to hang in there for a little while longer. And really, they still have another year of playing mostly with five-year-olds before the real transition happens...

I see where they're coming from.
Usually, those slightly older kids are a bit taller or more developed physically—it’s all those external factors at play.

That one-year gap can actually make a massive difference in how a kid looks and carries themselves.

It affects everything from their emotional maturity to their intellectual growth and current skill sets. That’s why it’s so important to focus on supporting those specific areas regardless of a birth date. At the end of the day, school cares about what a student can do, not whether their birthday invitation says "Come to my 7th birthday party" or "Come to my 8th."

Harold Cook2 said:I'm wondering, if things end up getting pushed back, do they seriously make you redo the whole damn battery of medical tests and checkups before school starts again next year?

Yeah, they probably will.

swiftbison92 said:I was stuck in a dilemma about whether to hold my little guy back.
We decided he'd go, but it still eats at me.🤦
He was born in late February, so he'll be 6.5, while the rest of his preschool crew will be 7 and a few months. It's a massive gap.
I know I'm biased because he's mine. My hesitation comes from fear. I was banking on the professionals to tell me if he was truly ready, but when the teacher said he's fine because he can read and write, I nearly had a nervous breakdown.
Hello? Kids can read at 3 years old and they definitely aren't ready for school.🙂
He wants to go, and the psychologist said he scored above average on the tests... but I'm still not 100% sure this is the right call.
I didn't expect them to do math with him during the psych eval (I was eavesdropping through the door; he was in there for an hour). I was thinking maybe they should have played a game of Sorry! just to see if he'd have a meltdown if he lost.😂
Anyway... from what I've seen, it feels like almost any kid can pass these tests. What kind of kids are the ones the experts actually suggest holding back?
If he knows that 1 apple plus 4 apples equals 5 apples, that's not some grand achievement proving he's ready for school. Most kids can count that high.

how do they even test for emotional maturity?

The kid was put in a room with a complete stranger and had to work through tasks independently for an hour.
On top of that, they got everything right.

They are totally ready for school. ☕

Karen Richardson3 said:When you get into the whole debate about kids with special needs, the real sticking point is whether we should be handing out sacraments like Communion or Confirmation to children who can't fully grasp what's happening.
I mean, look, it’s obvious to me that nowadays kids are basically just doing Confirmation to score a thousand-dollar gift from their relatives, and it's plain as day that many self-proclaimed "Catholics" don't have the slightest clue what their faith is actually supposed to teach them, but even so—I still remember bits and pieces from my own religious ed back in the day (which I don't follow anymore, so I'm not speaking from a Catholic standpoint here)—that the requirement for receiving Holy Communion was supposed to be some level of actual understanding.

So, if you ask me, that priest only caught heat from his superiors because of the media circus surrounding everything; the news outlets just jump on these stories because they don't know anything about the subject, other than the easy headline that the Church is the bad guy.

What is the actual point of having a child make a confession when they don't even comprehend what is taking place?

Maybe confession isn't necessary🤣 🤷
if a person hasn't done anything wrong, then there's no need for Confession, and they can receive Communion. You don't go to Confession every single time before Communion unless you've actually sinned. The goal isn't to sin just so you can confess; it's to live without sinning. That's how I was taught growing up in the church. 🧐 🙂)

If a priest views the sacrament the way you described, then that little boy probably shouldn't have been participating in First Communion at all—maybe even religious ed classes if he doesn't grasp the lessons. The real question is why he was allowed to participate until now? Why was he permitted to receive the sacrament if he doesn't understand it?

granitemarlin53 said:I recently came across the Penguin Classics series. They basically offer condensed versions of the classics that run about a hundred pages or so. So far, they've released three titles: Don Quixote, Crime and Punishment, and Madame Bovary. I know some purists and literary snobs might argue that high schoolers shouldn't be reading summaries instead of the full texts, but honestly, I think it's a great idea. I mean, it's better to read something than nothing at all, right? Plus, these retellings do a decent job of mimicking the original style, so you almost feel like you've actually tackled the source material. I guess these could be a huge help with school reading lists since you can get through these massive literary staples in maybe two hours rather than spending several days on them. 👍

Ugh, you really need to read Crime and Punishment in one go.
I actually stayed home from school once a long time ago just to read, and it was such an incredible book.
There is so much deep thought, personal conflict, and character development in there that you just can't capture in a summary. You have to really live through it.

It's the same thing with Madame Bovary. To be honest, her dramatic approach to falling in love used to drive me crazy! Maybe when I was seventeen, a shortened version would have been fine, but now, with everything I've experienced in my life and career, I'm so glad I got to truly immerse myself in that world. You simply can't do that if someone just gives you a quick plot summary.

And let's face it, the emotional impact isn't the same whether you read the full masterpiece or a condensed version.
Reading a summary feels a bit like picking up one of those cheap little comic booklets you find at a gas station for a couple of bucks.😂

Amanda Hughes37 said:Just saw the news—some priest out in the Midwest isn't going to let three kids take communion with the rest of the group tomorrow because they have special needs.
They’re being told to just stand off to the side...

Honestly, this is grounds for the death penalty. I am absolutely livid.

Does anyone ever actually talk about kids with special needs in Sunday school or religious education classes? How does the Church really view them—where do they actually "fit" in?

Are students allowed to bring this up in class tomorrow? Like, can they ask about how the priest or the bishop is handling this whole situation, or will the teacher just stick strictly to the lesson plan and ignore it to save time?
Personally, I think since this guy messed up so badly, there should be an actual conversation held with the kids. 🥳

(Or maybe I'm just being naive 🙂)

Robert Rodriguez9 said:From what I’ve gathered, the school is trying to break up the preschool groups.
Obviously, they aren't going to make sure nobody knows anyone—that's just not realistic—but the goal is to stop those little cliques from forming.

Honestly, this is one of those classic American dilemmas. You enroll your kid in kindergarten even though the experts suggest waiting an extra year, and then suddenly they aren't even in the same class as their old preschool buddies 😂 (some families move to a different neighborhood, others opt for those fancy private academies, and everyone else gets shuffled into different classes. And of course, there's always that one kid who actually did wait a year to start school.)

James Alvarez2 said:Great, so we're back to talking about the drip again.
Some people are already ahead of the curve while others are just sitting there... if some folks already know their stuff, what exactly are the rest of you even doing while everyone else is learning? 🤷

Robert Rodriguez9 said:Their system works differently, so I doubt skipping school is such a big deal over there.

The idea that "everyone already knows each other" actually gives me goosebumps—I worry about how those poor kids will fit in
.🙄 But honestly, even if they do know people, the others will make friends soon enough, right?
🤷

The mindset there in the US is a bit different; people aren't so deeply rooted in one spot and don't rely solely on the same crew from the neighborhood, the apartment building, or daycare. They’re generally more ready for moving, meeting new people, and forming new friendships.
We've actually touched on the reasons for delaying enrollment a few times here: either everyone moves up from daycare together and they're left with strangers, or they go to school a year later and still end up with strangers, so parents figure it's better to start now. Or, parents worry about their child not being with their familiar buddies when they start school.
(As if those new kids are some kind of aliens!)

Even within age-homogeneous groups, there are huge gaps in abilities and skills. For example, a kid born in early April might be way ahead of someone born in late March.
One group might still be playing around in preschool (and maybe getting a little bored), while the other group is already sitting in first grade and finding the work way too hard.

To me, it seems like staggered entry is actually the best way to bridge those gaps. It allows us to tailor things to a child's specific abilities, regardless of what they already know when they walk through the door.

James Alvarez2 said:So how do you even draw the line?

I was thinking about what that other user mentioned regarding the Netherlands.
The idea is to have a gradual transition.
A user from New Zealand actually mentioned that over there, they often hold birthday celebrations right in the middle of the school year.
It seems like a pretty common practice in quite a few countries.

What we have here feels a bit messy.
In my experience, most kids pick things up naturally through play, so they show up to kindergarten ready to go regardless of their birth date—it really just depends on how much they’ve been playing.
Personally, I don't think kids need to be forced to learn reading and writing before they start school, but I also see how much easier it is for the kids who already know how to do it. On the flip side, some kids who have been read to since they were babies pick it up so naturally they basically teach themselves.
Kids born between late autumn and early summer fall into this real gray area, and it all comes down to individual assessment, which can be hit or miss.
It really depends on whether they went to preschool at all (and if they only did those part-time prep classes during their final year), what kind of program they attended, and what they would gain by spending one more year in a high-quality preschool setting.
As long as they get that extra year to just be kids—to play without stress, to have books read to them, and to learn at their own pace—I wouldn't worry too much. It’s funny; while kids born after April 1st get a "pass" where they don't have to deal with the headache of registering for city testing, those born on March 29th get the exact same luxury of delaying that whole process. It's the same situation as the kids born in late December. ☕

Tyler Ruiz502 said:Why all the lectures and the judgmental looks just because someone asked for a delay? It’s clearly more convenient for them that way—just a way to spin things. Honestly, what’s the big deal? Is your kid somehow being deprived because of this?

If it were up to me, I’d love it if we weren't forced into these rigid schedules—if we could just take an extra year of vacation whenever it actually suits us... In that scenario, my kid would have been looked after at daycare for one more summer, just a little extra buffer. And they might have gained a year of "independence" by stepping away from the constant grind...
There’s nothing to lose here; you can only gain.
I mean, why should my personal reasons bother anyone? Seriously.

It's because if a boy starts first grade at 6.5 while a girl starts at 7.5, she's going to be older than him.
And she might be taller too.
She might be smarter.
And probably more independent and mature.

Of course, it isn't strictly about birthdays or numbers, but adults tend to obsess over dates and statistics.

No one just decides to skip a grade or delay enrollment on a whim; you need official confirmation that the child isn't ready. Usually, that involves passing through a school pediatrician, a school counselor, or a preschool specialist—and sometimes even other medical institutions where the child has been receiving diagnostics or ongoing treatment.

I honestly doubt this is just parents acting on whims or wanting an extra year of carefree playtime in preschool.

When a professional suggests a child might not be ready for school yet, and that child happens to be right on the age cutoff, a parent might weigh those factors alongside things like a longer summer vacation, easier childcare, or smoother travel schedules. To me, I don't see anything wrong with that.
Even if it goes the other way—where the specialists don't find any reason to delay—a parent who feels strongly about it can always seek a third opinion. That doesn't guarantee a delay if there truly isn't a valid reason, though.

I'm not saying every expert is perfect—I know testing can sometimes be superficial or even biased—but looking at the overall number of delays, it seems to me that most of them are actually quite rare. And the vast majority of these delays make total sense.

At the same time, there are still many kids who *should* have had their enrollment delayed but didn't. Those are the kids I worry about... It’s hard for me to watch a parent refuse to accept that their child needs more time, only realizing it halfway through the school year when it's already far too late.
(Especially when they use excuses like "everyone else in the group is going, so they should too," or "they need to toughen up," or "we all started early 30 years ago, so why change now?" To me, that sounds like following outdated trends, and I'm generally against following trends just for the sake of it.)

Brian Jones8 said:Alright, fine, I get what you mean. There are definitely liars all around us. 😁

I wouldn't pin this "unjustified" anxiety on parents; I'd pin it on society. Why are we teaching English in first grade now? We all know everyone knows it, but it wasn't even part of the curriculum until a few years later. And why is there this massive, forced obsession with getting straight A's? (Don't try to tell me otherwise, because it's happening.) Every time I ask someone how their kid is doing in school, the answer is always, "Oh, they have straight A's!" 🙄 But if I ask, "Do they actually have friends?" or "Do they even enjoy being there?"—it's usually followed by, "Well, as long as they have those A's." 😁 What happened to the C's? Where did they go?
How is it possible for a kid to have homework assigned in the first semester when they're still struggling to learn the alphabet???

And why does my kid need to be shoved into a cookie-cutter mold? It doesn't work for everyone. If my kid is a math whiz but struggles with English or social studies, can they get into a top-tier STEM academy? Of course not.

Now you're going to tell me English was added because that's what parents demanded. 😂

Personally, I am strongly against making a foreign language mandatory in first grade. It should be an elective, not a requirement.
Kids who already have some background or talent (and have mastered reading and writing in English) can spend that class coloring pictures or looking at mushrooms. They can learn the language on their own time (and pay for it), since that's actually the best age to pick it up.
But kids who are still struggling with basic reading and writing have to put in extra effort for a foreign language where the spelling is completely different from what they're learning in English. Because of them, the whole class ends up suffering.

On top of that, a child has to deal with five different teachers (the main teacher, the after-school instructor, the language/religion teacher, and maybe a substitute or a coach/music teacher). Each one has a different personality and often very different ways of handling discipline. Some kids struggle just to adjust to the school environment because it's all such a chaotic mess and they don't know who to listen to. 🥳

For a child who isn't emotionally mature yet, it's a bit of a nightmare. I remember how proponents of delaying school enrollment used to claim that children would just adapt and "grow up" once they were forced to start school and face responsibilities.
🙄

And yes, school definitely molds you. The system isn't designed for individual differences; it doesn't want the gifted kids or the ones struggling (because both require extra work). It wants to maintain a certain "average"—even if that average is more of a myth than reality.

Just delay school for your child and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Just be clear with your little one about why you felt this was the right choice for them.
And make sure to enjoy this next year.
(Who knows, maybe a reform will actually happen and grades won't even matter in the first three grades anymore! 🙂 🙂)

Quincy:

I haven't seen any posts from you yet! If you have something to share, feel free to jump in. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts. kaže: Honestly, I’m not quite sure why you're pushing for a deferral. I was chatting with a mom recently whose son had a delayed start in preschool, and she mentioned quite clearly that she just wanted him to have an extra year to play and be a kid. She wasn't alone in that feeling, either. Of course, that doesn't mean every parent is looking for the same thing—some definitely have much more pressing reasons for wanting to wait.

Honestly, I don't think that reason is bad at all. In my book, it actually makes quite a bit of sense. 🤷
If a daycare center is actually stimulating and engaging, I honestly see nothing but upside. If my little one can pick up extra skills and learn more while they're there, that’s a huge win in my book!
I see you guys haven't really gotten into this yet (and honestly, whatever). 😂Back when I was in my penultimate year at the little rhino group, this kid joined us after taking a gap year. He ended up studying English right alongside the rest of us in our mixed group, and he really made the most of that year before heading off to college.
She hit it off with him almost immediately. Honestly, I was so relieved she had him as a buddy this year because he’s such a great kid. He’s doing awesome in school, too!
If my memory serves me right, I didn't get the feeling at all that the kid actually needed the delay, but then again, it didn't seem like he was bored or understimulated at preschool either.

Quincy:

I noticed that proab hasn't weighed in on this yet! I'm really curious to hear what they think about the current situation. It reminds me of a discussion I had over coffee last week where we couldn't quite agree on the best way to move forward. I'd love to get their perspective whenever they have a moment to chime in. kaže: I started school just under the age of six, and honestly, I was already hitting that 6.5 mark. Looking back, I never had any trouble keeping up with my classes. Plus, we never really missed out on those early preschool years, and it wasn't like we suddenly had to stop playing just because we started formal schooling. It all felt very natural. 🤷

The kids are going to be at school from 8:00 to 4:00 today—at least—and they’ll probably have some extracurricular activities running late after that, too.
It’s pretty rare to see them out on the field playing.
That’s just the reality of the situation.
Lunch is at noon, followed by some outdoor time until we head back inside around 2:00 PM. Sometimes they get out a little earlier, though—it’s funny how the teacher tries to motivate them by promising an early finish if they work fast, but that almost never actually happens! There are always a few kids who just struggle to wrap up their assignments, and they end up needing extra time to finish writing. I usually find myself waiting around for them, which means I'm often stuck sitting in the car waiting for them to be ready for pickup.

I honestly don't judge parents one bit when they decide to hold off on sending their kids to school just so they can play more video games. I get it—sometimes you just need that extra time to unwind or enjoy a little downtime.
It’s especially tough when you're dealing with parents who work those standard 9-to-5 shifts, only to rush over to pick up their kid from after-school care at 5:25. It just adds that extra layer of stress to an already long day.

Even if this all feels like a bit of a whim right now, that kid is clearly bright. I honestly think we can make this final year count. It’s a perfect window to dive into a new language—something they don't cover in the local school district, but kids at that age soak up like sponges. Beyond that, there are so many cool extracurriculars to explore. We could look into some robotics clubs, or maybe sign them up for swimming lessons, skiing trips, ice skating, or even horseback riding. There's so much potential to turn this time into something really productive!
I was thinking about how much easier things would be if I could just practice ball tossing with my kid to help them catch up on what half their class has already mastered. It’s one of those little things that makes such a huge difference in coordination! 🥳