Posts by wanderingbadger44

Jason Ortiz5 said:And if the kid doesn't write that sentence correctly, then obviously it's assumed they're either dim or just acting dumb. And you really need to let the kid know that. ☕

Quinn:

I agree. If only we could just pick and choose which parents to skip—you know, the ones who say, "Grades don't matter to me!" Usually, you have to read that as "...as long as it's an A." Wise, veteran teachers definitely know that. 😉 For a normal parent, grades matter. And they matter to the kid, too.

For a teacher, you either have reading comprehension issues or you're pretending you do just to get your own way. 🥳

No, I don't care about my kid's PE grade, and honestly, I don't care if you believe me or what you think about it. As for the other grades, I didn't say they weren't important; I said I want them to be based on actual knowledge. Because one day, my kid is going to move on from that teacher. And we all know what happens when kids are handed easy grades. I don't want that for my child.

Look, being an educator involves cooperation and communication—whatever you want to call it—not just with students, but with parents too. You can't have one without the other. Teachers who don't realize that, or don't want to, or expect parents to just be a bunch of yes-men who cheer or clap at every single thing a teacher does... well, they clearly haven't thought about whether they actually want to deal with that kind of life.

It’s a bit like when you point out a mistake to someone, show them exactly where they tripped up, and ask them to fix it, yet they just stare at you blankly—it really does leave you feeling like there's a disconnect in their understanding.
Quinn:

We have to make sure the child understands what happened. ☕

That sounds like your personal take, though. I didn't say that, and honestly, I don't think anyone else in this thread did either.

Quinn:

For a teacher, you're either having trouble with reading comprehension or you're just pretending to have issues to suit your own agenda.🥳 Look, I couldn't care less about a grade in PE class, and frankly, whether you believe me or not doesn't change anything for me. As for the other subjects, it isn't that the grades don't matter, it's just that I want them to actually reflect what the student knows. Eventually, a student moves on from that teacher, and we all know how much weight those unearned grades carry in the long run; I just don't want that for my child. See, being an educator involves so much more than just lecturing; it requires genuine partnership and communication, not just with the students, but with the parents too. It’s a two-way street, and you can't have one without the other. Teachers who miss that, or who expect parents to just be a silent audience that nods along to everything they say without question, clearly haven't thought about whether they actually want to handle that kind of dynamic.

I hear you. Though, you could have put it more simply: just playing favorites with the parents. 😉 It can actually be quite entertaining to watch.

Jason Ortiz5 said:By the way, isn't giving a bad grade actually a fair response to just not knowing the material? I mean, setting aside the dyslexia issue for a second, is this teacher experiencing student ignorance for the very first time? Probably not. Yet, every single time a kid doesn't know an answer, she asks if they're just being dim or if they're playing dumb.

Maybe teaching just isn't her calling after all. She should probably just pivot careers and become another Jason Betts. :coffee

When you ask a fifth grader to write a sentence on the chalkboard, you aren't testing their knowledge.

I realize it’s apparently a massive stretch for some people here to accept the idea that by fifth grade, children are expected to have mastered reading and writing—usually well before they even step foot in an elementary school classroom—and that those basic skills aren't subject to grading. It's just a given.

I think I've already explained this once before.

crimsongull20 said:If you get a choice next time, just skip the ones who spend all their time bragging about themselves.

I couldn't agree more. If only we had the luxury of skipping over those parents who insist, "Oh, grades don't matter to us!"

Usually, when someone says that, you have to read it as "...as long as it's an A."

Experienced, wise teachers definitely pick up on that subtext immediately. 😉

For any reasonable parent, grades matter. And for the child, they matter too.

Alex Barnes8 said:What kind of behavior?
The kid either stayed silent because he didn't know the answer or because he was confused.
Both happen every single day, I guess.
The mother isn't upset over a bad grade; she’s mad because the teacher insulted her son's intelligence.
To me, it seems foolish for adults to shift all the responsibility onto a child.

Her reaction didn't come out of nowhere. I could ask you why you're insisting she's doing this out of habit, malice, or just for no reason at all.

I'm not insisting.
I'm actually among those who think she should be forgiven and given a chance.

What do you think? Why do people insult others?

Maybe it was just an outburst from pure frustration.
But I don't see a child here doing anything particularly wrong.
And if the teacher hasn't realized how wrong she was, her improvement probably won't last long.

If this is someone who constantly insults people to build "authority"—then yeah, maybe they're just a mean person who does it for sport.

Sorry, but am I really the only one here who thinks this kid is just being thick?

What kind of "ignorance" are we even talking about? The kid wrote a sentence on the chalkboard. He messed it up. How much actual knowledge does it take to read a sentence you just wrote? Did his fifth-grade teacher forget to teach him how to read and write? It's just wild to me that she could expect that from a ten-year-old.

He was overwhelmed?
I’m asking again, and my post will probably get flagged for it anyway: did this kid suddenly develop dyslexia during that specific lesson, or has he been dealing with it all along? Has he ever run into a situation before where he misread or misspelled something? Has he? You can't just assume, based on what happened after the teacher told him to reread and fix it, that he likely made the exact same mistake again and simply couldn't see it.

If he can't see the error, then the teacher reached the right conclusion—that he's struggling—she just shouldn't have said it like that. ☕

Oh, so he was embarrassed in front of the class. 🙄
But wasn't it you who said it's a problem if someone hides something for four years and keeps it a secret from everyone else? Is dyslexia some kind of shameful thing?

If that's how he was raised to view it, then the poor kid is just stuck. 😢

edit: Not you, but Katy Perry concluded that it's a serious issue if a child hasn't learned to manage dyslexia in earlier grades and has been forced to hide it.

Alex Barnes8 said:I still don't really get why you're digging your heels in on this. 🤷
What is he even supposed to say in that situation?
It’s not like this is the first time a kid has gone quiet because they're stumped.

Whether he stays silent or not, it isn't an excuse for her to call him stupid.

Your wording implies she insults kids specifically because of sports.

And what else do people insult others for, if not sports?
Maybe just a misplaced need to be right? 😁

At the end of the day, I'm just pointing out what seems pretty obvious to everyone here. 😁 Her reaction was completely inappropriate—and I want to emphasize that: INAPPROPRIATE—because it was triggered by how the child acted.

She wasn't grilling him on advanced calculus or anything complex like that. It's like when a student freezes up during a basic quiz because they didn't study the material they were supposed to learn; it's a common response. She was asking something incredibly simple, and kids usually have some kind of reaction when you ask them to double-check their work.

Her outburst didn't just happen in a vacuum. I could just as easily turn the question back on you and ask why you're so convinced she's saying these things out of habit, malice, or just for the sake of it.

James Perez54 said:It really depends on which school we're talking about. And which subject.😁

See, my little one is still in elementary school. He has an A in physics, even though he barely understands enough to pass with a C. Honestly, everyone in his class gets grades based on whatever the parents want. This guy is one of those teachers who just doesn't give a damn about whether the kids actually know anything about the material; all he cares about is being liked by the majority and acting like a buddy to the rowdiest kids in class.😁

Of course, the kids absolutely adore him, but you wouldn't believe how many parents (myself included) are actually filing complaints against a professor like this. Some go to the homeroom teacher, some to the principal, the school board, or even the PTA... because the kids aren't learning anything in physics, and they're going to run into massive problems with that lack of knowledge when they hit high school.

Now, if this teacher were at my kid's high school, I honestly wouldn't have a problem with him, because physics isn't a subject my son needs for his future career path, but in this situation...

I honestly believe we're witnessing a slow but steady shift in the cultural tide. It’s going to take reaching a certain tipping point where enough parents start demanding actual substance and real academic rigor from our schools for their kids. Right now, though, those types of families and students are still very much in the minority.

It feels like we’re watching a slow-motion train wreck when you look at how low American students' literacy and math scores have fallen lately. It’s honestly pretty alarming, and while we’re sliding downhill, you can already see certain parents starting to push for a shift in the system. There’s this growing idea that we need to move toward private education, but not just any private schools—we need ones that offer the exact opposite of what the current public system provides. Instead of coasting, these schools would focus on building deep, rigorous knowledge and instilling actual work ethic and a sense of responsibility, much like the high standards you see in successful educational models overseas.

It’s much like how some families choose to bypass the local public school system entirely, opting instead for elite private academies because they have the financial means to do so. We see plenty of students enrolling in our private institutions who might not have met the rigorous academic benchmarks required by the major state universities, or perhaps they simply find the intense pressure of a high-stakes public high school to be a bit too overwhelming for their learning style.

Right now, parents are essentially footing the bill for the privilege of just getting through high school. We’re going to have to hit an even lower point before we see a shift where parents actually start paying for specialized programs that prioritize real-world skills and actual expertise, but I truly believe that transition is coming.

It feels like we’re just moments away from finally hitting rock bottom.

copperlynx22 said:Don't lose track of the clock (😁); the opening post mentioned the child already changed schools. 🙂

Generally speaking, I can't help but feel this whole discussion wouldn't even exist if the teacher had sincerely apologized and owned up to her error. This isn't about a mother seeking vengeance; it's about a desire for the teacher to genuinely realize that treating a student this way is unacceptable. Because that acknowledgment never came, the mother is understandably bitter.
(That is just my take, though I don't actually know what the original poster is thinking).

It’ll be the whole class traveling together, likely moving from a smaller rural district over to a larger hub like Chicago or maybe Atlanta.

If he hasn't even finished the entire school year yet, I just don't see how his mother could claim to be on such good terms with those parents. It feels like there simply hasn't been enough time in a single school year for that kind of bond to actually form.
Rachel Jones8 said:

I can't help but feel that none of these discussions would even be happening if the teacher had just been honest and owned up to her mistake from the start.

Hjao, I have to admit, I find myself completely captivated by this whole discussion.😁 How would you even go about measuring if her apology is actually genuine? I wonder if we’d need a polygraph test or something just to find out the truth.

Rachel Jones8 said:

It feels a bit like watching a rhinoceros charge through a glass house—all that heavy, unstoppable momentum just crashing into everything in its path without any regard for the delicate things it leaves behind. kaže: I’ve been scrolling through the threads for a while now, trying to find that specific post where someone was asking about getting married or dealing with a cancellation, but I just can't seem to track it down. But honestly, I just can't bring myself to do it. 🤷

I honestly can’t seem to find a single thread where anyone actually defends her actions or considers what she did to be the right way to handle things. 🤷 I feel like I could spend all day scrolling through dozens of different forums where people are constantly being threatened with termination.

Thomas Barrett84 said:This part really jumped out at me.
Dyslexia or not, whether there’s an underlying issue or not—no teacher, period, has any right to call a child stupid.
Sure, she apologized, and fine, credit where it's due, but does that apology hold the same weight if the kid didn't have a learning disability?

It’s almost like there wouldn’t even be a need to offer an apology to a child who hasn't done anything wrong, because if the mistake never happened in the first place, you wouldn't find yourself in a position where an apology is necessary. In a perfect world, the kid would just look over what was written, spot the error themselves, and either fix it right then or reach out to talk about it.

It feels like there’s an underlying implication in what you’re saying, almost as if you’re suggesting she’s hurting the kids just because of the sports they play.
Rachel Jones8 said:

It’s funny how some things just strike you with such heavy, unmovable force, much like the sheer weight of a rhino charging through the brush. I'm not sure I follow what you mean by that. In my view, it’s perfectly fine if the boy didn't explicitly say, "I made a mistake because of my dyslexia," nor did his classmates step in to tell the teacher, "Just so you know, he struggles with dyslexia."😕 If she doesn't have that specific insight, what is she even supposed to do with it?

Following that line of reasoning, there wouldn't be any need for her to receive formal written documentation either. What purpose would that serve?

Thomas Cruz15 said:If someone hopped on here right now and told another user, "Are you actually stupid or just pretending?" would they get a strike?
Totally.
Because "We don't talk like that here. That's insulting the other person."
So basically, an anonymous user gets penalized for insulting another anonymous user on a forum. But the real uproar is because some authority figure—whatever that means—told a student they were being stupid or acting stupid.

Honestly, I don't think any penalty is enough, especially since she didn't even wait to be prompted before insulting a kid in front of the whole class. She should've done the right thing on her own. Then again, I don't think she deserves to be fired over it either. There just needs to be some kind of system to track these mistakes. If this stuff keeps happening? Then yeah, she's out.

If User A asks User B if they're stupid or just acting that way, User A gets flagged.

What do you think—should User B also get flagged if they fire that same insult right back at User A? 🥳

Kate Cox2 said:I don't believe what the teacher in the opening post said was right, but I do think situations like this can absolutely happen. Honestly, I am just shocked by these outbursts about quitting and the general lack of tolerance—and the failure to grasp what it actually means to be an educator.

When I say that things like this can occur, I am speaking from the perspective of everything a teacher endures in a single day, a month, or even a year. That context is something only those working in the American school system can truly understand. I see where Persefona is coming from; in a school setting, you encounter situations where you either snap entirely—just like this mentioned teacher did—or you simply try to emotionally detach and work just to survive from bell to bell, because you honestly don't know any other way to protect your own mental health.

When I first started teaching, my very first job, my first period class was an 8th grade group. The first thing they asked me was what kind of car I drove, because they were already talking about how they wanted to beat it up or slash my tires. Every time a class ended and I would walk down the hallway, they’d follow me, making comments about how much they’d love to push me down the stairs... One particular student didn't bring a notebook or a textbook for the entire year. Instead, he spent the whole hour interrupting with questions about whether I was wearing thongs or regular panties, what my first wedding night was like, what my bra size was, and so on. Of course, you ignore it and try not to let it get to you, but the misery, sadness, and frustration just build up inside you. That same little boy, who never brought a single piece of school supplies to class, happened to enroll in the high school where my husband teaches. Later, my husband found out from the school counselor that the boy's mother—as soon as she realized the teacher was my husband—came into the school ahead of time to complain that the man would take his frustrations out on her son just because I was his teacher. So, the mother was fully aware of what her child had been doing all through 8th grade; she never apologized, she defended him constantly, and she even went to accuse a professor she didn't even know of premeditated bias against her kid.
My husband isn't that type of person and it would never cross his mind, and fortunately, everyone at his school knows that too, so the whole ordeal ended there.

And you experience situations like that—more or less terrible ones—almost every single day. It is completely understandable if you snap somewhere, no matter how hard you try to stay calm and fair.
What is most tragic is being acutely aware that these children aren't inherently "bad"; the blame lies with their parents and the upbringing they receive at home. When a 6th grader asks you what you think you're doing, implying they have an iPhone that costs more than your entire salary, or when a 1st grader tells you that once they grow up they'll only finish as much school as they absolutely have to because they won't need it—since they'll inherit their dad's corporation and have endless money and no one can touch them—you don't know whether to pity the child or not. Because it's clear to you that such statements didn't just pop into their heads out of nowhere; you know exactly where they came from. You cannot expect respect from a child who listens to a constant stream of disparaging remarks toward schools and teachers at home. When you hear a 3rd grader telling her friend in the restroom that her mom is going to get this English teacher fired because they gave them a third test this week, well, what else can you expect??

Parents show so little respect for the teaching profession, and they pass that attitude straight down to their kids. We were recently discussing how we see coaches at sports practice calling kids names like "dummy," "goose," or "lazybones"... and the parents don't even react. Hardly anyone sees it as a tragedy. Why? I don't know. Is a coach somehow a bigger deal than a teacher? Why is a coach valued more than a professor who is killing themselves to ensure your child actually learns something?

In such a toxic atmosphere, it is incredibly difficult to keep a cool head, to always remain poised, and to watch every word you say. There are times when perfectly valid words spoken by a frustrated parent can be twisted and interpreted as being malicious or directed against their "precious angel"...
I am saying, I don't think what the teacher in the intro post said was right; it was completely wrong, of course. But I also don't see any reason for this level of rage or these declarations of quitting. I just don't understand where all this hatred and disrespect comes from toward the people who spend the majority of their days with your child—people who, for the most part, are working their asses off to teach them something and to show them love, understanding, and fairness. And in return, all they get is total mockery.

I have to ask myself: why has it become perfectly acceptable nowadays to receive an apology from a parent in the form of a torn scrap of paper ripped straight from a spiral notebook? It just says, "Please excuse my child from 5th period on Tuesday; they have a dentist appointment." There isn't even a "hello," no "thank you," no signature—not even a proper piece of stationery!
Furthermore, why is there such collective shock in the teachers' lounge when a student actually shows a modicum of respect by handing us a card addressed to "Dear Professor"? Why has basic decency been rebranded as something strange? Why has the normal become the abnormal?
And most importantly, why is it so difficult for people to grasp that in such a toxic, unhealthy environment, mistakes are bound to happen? We are human beings; we stumble, we say things we know are wrong, and we feel genuine remorse for it afterward.

Exactly this. This is the heart of the issue.

In return for treating educators with such little regard, these parents expect that very same teacher—whom they don't respect at all—to act as a surrogate parent, a therapist, a mentor, and a guardian who perfectly nurtures and watches over their child. Most importantly, they expect the teacher to love them unconditionally, as if that's just part of the job description we pay for.

Now, look at youth sports! 👋 Coaches are treated like absolute gods. When a coach disciplines an entire soccer team because one player missed a drill or spoke out of turn, you'll see the parents on the sidelines nodding along, thinking, "That's right, we need discipline!" But those same parents will be the first ones calling the school board, the local news, or filing formal complaints if a teacher gives the whole class extra homework just because a few kids were being disruptive. They can't stand it when their own kid gets caught in the crossfire of collective discipline; they want someone else to take the fall.

And since they're paying the registration fees for those sports, it makes sense—they see the coach as a service provider they've hired, so they show respect accordingly. 😁

crimsongull20 said:Did you ever honestly think you'd pull a decent living from the American education system?

No, I never had those kinds of expectations.

People used to talk about respect. 😉

If you really want to look at it, the prestige, influence, and actual "authority" a teacher holds were incomparably higher back when I was first considering this career path, even if the sheer workload and endless list of responsibilities were significantly lighter. As you pointed out, money isn't everything. 😉

If you work in this field, you know that a teacher—especially in an American elementary school where attendance is mandatory and parents can be incredibly sensitive, often preferring to insult a young colleague rather than admit their own child has dyslexia—has absolutely zero tools to actually discipline students. Your only recourse is filing paperwork and reports.

In high school, at least a disruptive student might get suspended. In elementary school, you're essentially just a babysitter. Period. That wasn't my goal. Besides, daycare workers in the US make much higher salaries than we do. I’m just saying that if they’ve reduced my role to that level, they should pay me accordingly. I’m flexible; I’d make an excellent sitter. 😉

Susan James said:I’ve actually visited Finland twice as a tourist, 😍

But really, what I’m talking about here are the fundamental basics of being a decent human being.
I feel bad for not mentioning this sooner—I honestly assumed it was a given—but we need to model adult behavior for children. It’s just that educators and professors carry a bit more weight in this regard; there's an expectation that they possess this awareness, that they chose this calling intentionally, and that they know how to pass those values along.

It breaks my heart when the relationship between two people (in this case, a professor and a student) is viewed strictly through the lens of money or the "price" of labor.
Sure, many professions are underpaid—doctors, nurses, retail workers, so many others—and in every single field, you'll find people who do a great job and those who don't.
Beyond just how the task is performed, I think it is incredibly important to look at the kind of interpersonal relationships being built (or destroyed) in the process.

And by the way, the very "society" that fails to recognize the value of teaching was raised by the teachers of the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Maybe the people in power today simply
didn't have great experiences with their own schools and teachers. 🤷
Shouldn't today's teachers, through their own example and dedication, be shaping the future leaders and policymakers to understand just how vital and responsible this work truly is?

Your take felt pretty biased and unnecessarily aggressive.

You didn't seem concerned with showing any respect back when professors were being dismissed as nothing more than pathetic little instructors... boo hoo...

It seems like the respect you're describing is a one-way street where only teachers deserve it from students and parents. In your view, students and their families don't need to earn it, and if a teacher wants respect, they have to build it from scratch themselves. It’s as if the basic tenets of human decency don't apply to educators—as if they're some kind of untouchable deities. How incredibly flattering! Does a professor even have to use the restroom like a normal person? 😁

The reason I even decided to chime in is because of how much people lost their minds just because the teacher offered an apology. Honestly, it feels like the only thing that would actually satisfy everyone is getting them fired.

I don't really have a problem with any of this personally. It just helps me, as I mentioned before, to deal with the role society has shoved me into with a bit more patience: I am treated almost like a flawless demigod, a perfect blend of Jesus Christ and Einstein who happens to have passed a teaching certification in 😬. People hand over the upbringing and education of their most precious assets—their children—into my hands, yet they treat me like a plaything. And apparently, I'm expected to love every second of it and do it all pro bono, driven by pure passion or some kind of masochism. Because heaven forbid we look at our profession through the lens of needing to make a living.

When I see the situation laid out this clearly, it makes it much easier to just sit there and wait for the bell to ring. I'm sure all of your children are absolutely wonderful and exceptionally bright.

😘

Susan James said:Gosh... there is just so much misunderstanding and generalization happening here...

When a kid makes a mistake in front of the chalkboard—any kind of mistake—you simply ask if they see what went wrong. If they don't, you might ask again, gently point out the error, and ask them to fix it. That’s how you turn a moment into a teaching opportunity.

It is never okay to ask a child if they are stupid or hard of hearing. It's definitely not okay to call them stupid, and it certainly isn't right to demand a child announce their dyslexia to an entire classroom just because they made a slip-up.😕 😲

Let me say it again: teachers serve as a primary behavioral model for kids during those 5 or 6 hours they spend at school every day. You have a chance to provide a blueprint for healthy behavior that a child might not be getting at home—or even if they are, that school model is just as powerful, and in some situations, even more influential.
Kids aren't just in school to learn reading and writing; they're learning so much more than that.

Is that really so hard to grasp?😕
School is still an educational and developmental institution. To me, a massive failure in guidance like this can't just be brushed off with a weak apology—especially when people take the stance of, "Well, it happens, kids these days are even worse anyway," and so on.

By the way, I honestly don't get why so many of you here felt personally attacked by a critique of a "colleague's" mistake and immediately assumed the finger was being pointed at you.
Instead of having a reasoned discussion, you're all jumping to defend yourselves by attacking parents and students, acting like they're the real problem.😢
What exactly are you educators trying to protect yourselves from here?😕
Did any of you actually tell a student they were stupid, deaf, or crazy? Did any of you insult a child in any way? Is anyone actually debating *your* conduct?
I truly don't understand.
Where is all this endless solidarity coming from for a colleague we don't even know?

And yeah.
The teacher did come forward and apologize, which is great, but *when* did she do it?
Did it just occur to her spontaneously, from the heart, three minutes after she let "Are you stupid?" slip out?
Was it after the bell rang? After she saw the look on the child's face?

No.

And that makes a massive difference.

Did you perhaps move here from Finland?

Society in Finland truly understands the point you're making.

In America, we've only made it halfway there; people are quick to demand these high standards from educators, yet we aren't quite ready to acknowledge how massive that responsibility actually is or compensate them in a way that reflects its true value.

The brain drain and the decline in quality within our school systems are the natural fallout of that imbalance.

crimsongull20 said:Waving them like flags, huh. It’s funny how a few years later, when they hit high school, it’s usually the parents waving those labels at the teacher... I've never heard a single colleague mention a student actually enjoying that kind of public labeling.

It's interesting watching how much you underestimate them. You seem to think they're just being foolish, which makes me feel like I'm coming off as some sort of bully toward kids.

Why would they bother pushing an identity in high school if there isn't a clear advantage to it, especially when it risks marking them in front of their peers? That "special class" label is easy to carry when it acts as a VIP pass to certain perks. They aren't stupid enough to wear a badge that offers them nothing in return.

Besides, do you really think the kids who didn't have those easy exits or special treatment were also acting out of stupidity? They see exactly what I'm talking about here: most of them were just regular kids who managed to dodge the hard work through these loopholes, while the rest had to sit there and grind it out. It's no wonder they aren't exactly thrilled about it. Of course they'll stay quiet about it in high school. Just try offering them actual privileges and watch how quickly they start claiming those labels. Oh, they'll be more than happy to be labeled then.

aww, it's almost sweet that parents still try to play that game in high school. 😁 I can't say I'm surprised; they're just used to the way things work.

crimsongull20 said:To be honest, I don't really care about you personally. I was just wondering if you actually think it's normal to expect a fifth grader to stand up in front of their entire class and announce they have dyslexia.

Good grief, lady! These kids wave those labels around like they’re flags at a parade. Where on earth have you been living? It’s almost like people forget that during those first four years of school, they’ve already covered the material you're asking about, which opens the door for all sorts of people to misuse a "diagnosis." I honestly thought you were being rhetorical when you asked, so I didn't bother responding, but clearly, you're being dead serious.

Do you have any idea how many parents go out of their way to secure special accommodations for children who are perfectly average—or even gifted—just because they're terrified of their kid being labeled as "different"? Yeah, right. 🤣

crimsongull20 said:So, is it standard practice now to expect a fifth grader to stand up in front of their whole class during some misunderstanding with a teacher and say, "Excuse me, but I have dyslexia!"?

Should he probably add, "And that's why I occasionally mix up my phonemes"?

Sure, totally normal to assume a twelve-year-old understands all the nuances and ways the term "dyslexia" gets weaponized...

Do I personally expect that? Honestly, I don't give a damn. The bell will ring eventually. 😁 I would never say that to a kid—I wouldn't ask if they were being thick or just acting out. To be honest, I couldn't care less about how they spelled something. The bell will ring.

I love this thread. 😁

There have been times when I felt guilty about having that kind of attitude. Isn't my whole job to push those little minds and squeeze every bit of potential out of them? Isn't it my responsibility to tell a child, "You can do this! You know this stuff. Go for it!" Sometimes, there's still this spark in me—this enthusiast who genuinely loves seeing a kid beam with pride when they finally grasp a concept or master a skill. But threads like this remind me that I need to tuck that enthusiasm deep down and just wait patiently for the school bell to ring. As long as they leave my classroom healthy, happy, and intact, I'm done. I really don't care anymore. ☕

My little guy had this moment in his first-grade class where his teacher called him up to the front, handed him a reading book, and told him to start reading.

After a few minutes passed without him making a sound, the teacher—getting a bit impatient for him to actually get started—urged him to just read it already. He insisted he *was* reading it. She was totally baffled and told him he wasn't. He stood his ground, insisting he was. She ended up snapping at him, thinking he was playing some kind of trick or that she was losing her mind because she clearly hadn't heard a single word come out of his mouth. It went on like that for a while until it finally clicked for her that he had followed her instructions perfectly: he was reading. Just silently, in his head. 🤣

I mean, did he say anything out loud? No! At that point, it was hard to tell who was more confused—my son, who was getting genuinely defensive because he knew he was doing exactly what he was told, or the teacher, who was frustrated because she thought he was just stalling.

Looking back, what should I have done? To be completely honest, we were all cracking up at home when he recounted the whole thing. Maybe I’m just as much of an "equal opportunity" parent as I am a terrible teacher might be. It didn't even cross my mind to call the school to complain about her raising her voice at him. Instead, treating him like the smart kid he is, I explained that the teacher couldn't possibly know he was reading internally. In her mind, she expected him to read aloud, and she was just frustrated because she thought he was being stubborn.

I truly don't think I caused him any lasting stress. In fact, it's something we still laugh about today.

crimsongull20 said:A 12-year-old should have just stood up in front of the whole class and said, "Hey, I have dyslexia."

How many adults could actually announce a diagnosis to a group of 30 people without feeling massive amounts of discomfort?...

It isn't some medical diagnosis, and it certainly isn't a disease. ☕

It’s funny how people operate, really. They want to feel special when it brings them perks, but they suddenly want to blend into the crowd the moment being different might lead to an awkward social situation. Dyslexia is less of a clinical label and more of a subtle signpost pointing toward an above-average intelligence.

Parents can be such interesting creatures, aren't they? 😍

melloworca6 said:Are you a teacher too? Do you even know what dyslexia is? 😢

Look, there are stupid professors out there too. I had a math teacher back in the day who was so incompetent I couldn't tell if she was genuinely dim or just playing dumb. 😁 In all honesty, the woman was as clueless as they come. She had zero grasp of math; she probably only passed her exams because someone pulled strings for her or she used other methods to get ahead.

There are plenty of idiots in management positions, too. Do you walk up to your boss and call them stupid? Or is it only socially acceptable when it involves children because they can't really defend themselves?

What are you suggesting here—that we should brand kids with dyslexia on their foreheads or something?

Look, I’m probably going to stir up an argument by saying this, but I truly believe that when a child lives with dyslexia, they become aware of it; if their parents have taught them to embrace their neurodivergence, that kid can walk into a fifth-grade classroom and calmly say, "I'm sorry, I can't see where I went wrong because my dyslexia makes reading difficult." ☕

The original post actually explains things quite clearly: the teacher pointed out a mistake and asked him to fix it. It’s not like she walked up to him and called him stupid just because he missed a mark.

If a student has been dealing with dyslexia for a while, they’ve likely faced these hurdles many times before, much like how someone learns to navigate a constant obstacle in their daily path. They learn to manage it. If the kid just sat there staring blankly after she pointed out the error, it’s easy to see why she might have misinterpreted that silence as him acting like he didn't understand.

That being said, she shouldn't have gone there.

I’m just pointing out that having dyslexia doesn't make a student slow or incapable of communicating. ☕

crimsongull20 said:So, you think it's perfectly fine to ask a twelve-year-old kid, "Are you deaf or just stupid?"...

I'm struggling to see how your interpretation connects back to anything I actually said in my original post.

melloworca6 said:So you think this is actually okay?

What if she’d said that to a kid with special needs? Like, "is he a little slow or just retarded?" Is that acceptable too? Some kids just act silly sometimes. 🤷

The absolute bare minimum would have been an apology. Why does she need a damn monument built for it? 😕 She’s lucky she doesn't work at a private school; I bet she wouldn't even get the chance to explain herself there. Go spend some time in the private sector sometime. See how much tolerance employers actually have for those kinds of comments directed at clients or customers...

edit: It's funny how you expect everyone to be understanding of you and respect the profession, yet you turn around and make excuses for people like this instead of distancing yourself from them.

Why don't you go ahead and finish your degree, pass all those certification exams, and then come try your luck teaching in a public school? You can enjoy our exact salary, those three months of summer break, and all the perks people love to talk about regarding our four-hour workdays. I’m certainly not stopping you.😉

melloworca6 said:So you think this is actually okay?

What if she’d said that to a kid with special needs? Like, "is he a little slow or just retarded?" Is that acceptable too? Some kids just act silly sometimes. 🤷

The absolute bare minimum would have been an apology. Why does she need a damn monument built for it? 😕 She’s lucky she doesn't work at a private school; I bet she wouldn't even get the chance to explain herself there. Go spend some time in the private sector sometime. See how much tolerance employers actually have for those kinds of comments directed at clients or customers...

edit: It's funny how you expect everyone to be understanding of you and respect the profession, yet you turn around and make excuses for people like this instead of distancing yourself from them.

What exactly am I supposed to find fault with here? She acted too quickly because she didn't have all the facts—regardless of whose fault that was—she talked it out with her mother, realized she messed up, and then had the guts to apologize in front of the whole class.

To me, that sounds like a perfectly reasonable way to handle a mistake.