Posts by fadedhawk33

Here’s my take on this whole mess:
My doorbell is broken—and honestly? I have zero intention of fixing it. If someone actually needs to get in, they can call me or use the intercom. Period. For years, these little scavengers have been circling the neighborhood, but we hadn't bumped into them until recently...
A couple of months ago, I’m rushing out the door because I was working the afternoon shift, right? And there’s this shady old guy standing right outside my apartment, wearing some crusty leather jacket and flipping through a planner—he looked like a retired FBI agent from a noir film. So, the "dialogue" starts...
- "Good day, sir. I’ve been ringing and knocking, but you aren't answering. I'm here representing the billing department at PBS. You haven't paid your subscription fees, so I've come to..."
- "Look, I'm late for work. Come back some other time. Bye!" —And just like that, I'm stepping into the elevator.
Fast forward a month, and what do I get? A notice that they're initiating some petty misdemeanor proceeding along with that infamous bill for $80. You know what I did? I ignored it. Completely.
I’ve heard from a few different people that they’ve ramped up these predatory sweeps because of budget reallocations—it's exactly like when the MTA or Amtrak start cracking down hard just because they're running low on cash. They're even hounding one of my colleagues at work now.
Seriously people, let them sue us all. Our legal system is so backed up they won't even have the time to deal with it anyway!😁

Man, I’ve been there myself—more times than I care to admit, actually.
It was back in the day, maybe 10 or 15 years ago, when I was out there blowing smoke through all kinds of different ways—
And honestly? I wasn't looking to achieve anything or hoping for some big breakthrough. If anything, it was the exact opposite... I was practically begging to just zone out and completely wreck my own life.

It’s probably this: that specific part of your body is just super tight and tense normally, so when you finally settle into Meditation and Yoga, it starts to let go and begins twitching.
For me, it happens with my facial muscles—though sometimes I get a pretty intense twitch in my shoulder or my arm too.

Then go ahead, chop some wood

So, I was just scrolling through this one forum a little bit ago and stumbled right onto this

Maybe this will snap you out of it a bit🙂

How do you actually stay spiritually strong?

When you're young and healthy—and you’ve actually got some stones (or ovaries, if we're talking about women)—it is incredibly hard. I remember my own experience from age 15 to 30—it was just a total wildfire of passion. You’re either satisfying those primal urges or you're sitting there frustrated and reaching for drugs.

In Christianity, I found exactly one solution to that mess: that quote from Saint Paul about those "who gave up their manhood for the sake of heaven... he who understands, understands." I can't even remember the exact verse in the Bible.
Once you get older and that sexual drive starts to simmer down, you can slowly pivot toward spirituality. At that stage, the temptation (at least for me) is the guys' circles where everyone is constantly drinking. You can avoid them, sure, but then you just end up isolated, like some kind of monk. 🤷
My final take on the question: the more obsessed you become with being "spiritually strong," the weaker you actually are. You're only truly strong when you stop thinking about it altogether. It's like climbing a ladder and then just tossing the damn thing aside. ☕

The Phoenix archetype is basically woven right through the fabric of alchemy.
It’s really just a way to describe the whole process—you know, that conscious transmutation thing. In Western alchemy, you go through three distinct stages—black, red, and white—to birth this new being, the "homunculus." And look, when people talk about turning iron into gold, they aren't just talking about metallurgy; it’s all an allegory for something much deeper.
Speaking of metals, there’s this fascinating Greek myth—Hesiod and Plato both touch on it—where the Golden Age of humanity gets replaced by the Silver Age, then Silver is followed by Copper, and eventually, we end up stuck in the Iron Age. It’s essentially a description of entropy, specifically how human society just breaks down over time. But here’s the kicker: the alchemical process is actually the complete reversal of that decay—it's antientropy!
Through the black stage, a person is purified from that crude iron state into copper. Then, via the red stage, they move from copper to silver, and finally, through the white stage, they reach that ultimate golden state.
Now, if you look at Eastern alchemy—check out the Secret Golden Flower, for example—they’re describing this exact same journey, just using totally different metaphors.
There’s also this really intriguing concept in New Zealand's famous works: returning to the past—which is really about sliding back onto those more favorable life paths we abandoned long ago.
So, I have to ask... could that be interpreted as a description of "antientropy"?
🤷

So, I’ve recently started mixing two different meditation techniques together, and I’m going to try to explain my reasoning here.

I’ve been gazing at the Sun for about a year and a half now, and honestly, it feels great (23'30''). But—and anyone who’s actually tried sungazing knows this—staying consistent isn't always up to you.
You’ve got clouds getting in the way, your schedule shifting, work shifts (especially if you’re working a job with crazy hours), kids needing stuff, and a million other things. The busier your life gets, the harder it is to stay on track. Looking back at last fall and winter, I realized I could easily go entire weeks just stuck waiting for the Sun to show up or dealing with overcast skies. (On the bright side, I guess this whole thing is a masterclass in practicing patience!) Anyway, sungazing taught me firsthand just how vital it is to quiet the mind, so I decided to find a way to keep the momentum going even when the weather isn't cooperating.
I’ve started incorporating breathwork meditation (anapanasati) for about 15 minutes at a time.
Some days I manage to hit both—breathwork and the Sun—some days I only get one in, and then there are those *other* days where nothing goes right.
Since I’m supposed to gradually ramp up the breathwork sessions to 45 minutes, I’m honestly not sure how this is going to play out. I don't know if I can realistically carve out an hour and a half every single day for the whole routine. So, I’ll just keep watching and breathing, and let time tell...
I’d love it if someone could jump in and share any insights or experiences they might have regarding this.
🙂