Posts by Samuel Evans7

I’m not out here 'looking' for anyone... I NEED someone to just pull my mind away from this mess. Right now, I am the absolute bottom. I am every dark, twisted thought imaginable, damn it.
In case it matters—I'm 21, male. Though clearly, I'm not exactly the "real deal." LOL

/ this is definitely going to attract some attention 👍 / . . .

Hey there. :-)
I'm looking to meet someone—just some good old-fashioned chatting, maybe grabbing a drink, or even a walk if we actually hit it off. 😂 I’m not looking for anything heavy here; let's just keep things chill.

A little about me: total night owl, musician, 20-year-old guy.
I have a real soft spot for "intelligent" people, if you know what I mean. I love getting into those deep, philosophical conversations, though I'm down for some lighthearted banter too. 🙂

So, don't be shy! Hit me up... I'm too impatient to wait forever, haha :-)

Hmm...

Maybe your old man was just terrified of how your mother would react?
That actually tracks with me.
He probably never intended to hurt her, but now he’s likely sitting there thinking it's already too late... and if he spoke up now, it would just be an even bigger shock to the system.
I'm right along with you on this—he really should have come clean immediately. Whatever happens, happens.
But this way? This is how problems just pile up one after another...
An environment like that isn't "healthy" for anyone involved.
And honestly, it's a miserable feeling when you start suspecting that everyone is keeping secrets from you...

In my book, the only real solution is this:
just lay all the cards on the table.

Of course, it's a hell of a lot easier said than done...
The situation... I'll say it again... it's not simple at all.

I can see you're incredibly eager to get this all sorted out, but obviously, the ball isn't entirely in your court—it's more on your father's side.
It's a mess...

Jason Cooper said:Honestly, having a pension would change everything. It would provide a steady stream of income, and if things ever got really tight, I’d step up and help them as much as I could without any resentment.
But even when I do help, I find myself doing it with a massive amount of rage because I’m pulling money straight from my own paycheck—which, quite frankly, is smaller than his monthly pension check. And let's be real, I work my tail off for that salary, yet I could be out of a job tomorrow since we all know how precarious working for a private company in this country can be.
We have been fighting about these pensions for thirteen years now, and he still refuses to budge. I highly doubt he'll ever actually do anything about it.
My theory is that he's dodging the pension just to avoid child support payments, though I can't say for certain. It doesn't entirely make sense, but who knows what's going on behind closed doors when someone keeps that many secrets...

Hmm, I actually have a feeling it isn't about the alimony. Why?
Because you described your father as a truly good man, someone who genuinely cares about family. Of course, that's a fifty-fifty shot; if your mother isn't aware of his "affair," then maybe that's the real reason.
What you said is absolutely true—you are carrying an enormous burden. You have your own family established with your husband, and your salary certainly isn't high enough for you to be financially responsible for everyone.

I'm sure you've already tried this many times, but try asking him (again) directly, face-to-face, what the actual problem is.
He probably won't open up. To me, your father sounds like the kind of man who carries an immense amount of pride within him.
He would also likely lift a huge weight off his soul if he just spoke up about the other family—about his son. But who knows how the rest of the family would react. From what I can see, you are a very reasonable person.

Hmm, a complicated situation... truly...
I think it all rests on him. I think he knows it too... it's a massive burden, a burden that is (unintentionally) hurting everyone around him. I really hope that time will do its work and that your/your family's situation improves. Truly.

Money.
The issue here is obviously money.
I mean, I don't know... nobody here can actually fix this for you.

From what I can gather, if he would just accept his Social Security benefits, things would improve drastically.

You described your father as an incredibly good man, but does it seem like he feels less valuable just because of money—or rather, the lack of it?
That’s how it looks to me.

Look, money matters, sure, but family matters more. Your relationships are what count. We're all human; we make mistakes. But we shouldn't keep repeating them. It becomes this vicious cycle that eventually starts tearing everything apart.

If this situation keeps going on like this, everyone is going to lose their minds.

I feel especially bad for your brother.
If the way out of this mess is for your father to finally take his pension, then that's what needs to happen. You have to look past pride and stick to what's right.
It's obvious that life would be much easier for all of you.

As for your half-sibling, that's entirely up to you. If you think you know what's smart or what's best, then go ahead and do it. 🙂

P.S.
I apologize if I pushed too hard regarding the pension, but it seems to me that's one of the biggest hurdles here. It would mean steady income for your family, and honestly, it would lighten your own burden too.

It sounds like you’ve been left holding the bag on all of this.
If I were in your shoes, I’d limit my help strictly to my own brother.
And honestly, your old man really ought to just accept those Social Security checks. You can't hide from reality forever, and let's be real—that extra cash would take a massive weight off your shoulders.
As for your half-brother... well, that’s your call to make. Though, if you ask me, you probably should stay in touch with him and his sister.
From what I can gather, your father completely blew it. Or at least, he botched the majority of it. No offense intended.
Try sitting down and having a real talk with him. Try to see where he's coming from. His mistakes shouldn't be a life sentence for you,
or anyone else for that matter. Good luck!

Hey everyone!
All these gatherings you guys talk about sound absolutely fantastic..
I was wondering, would it be possible for me to join in on the fun?
Is there an age requirement, or like, a specific 'cutoff' point? haha. I'm 20, so please tell me that isn't an issue.
Also, I'm curious about how you all operate—what kind of activities do you usually get up to during these meetups?
(And sorry in advance if I miss anything in the older threads... my mobile data is being a total nightmare right now haha 😁)