There’s a certain wisdom in being calculated and perhaps a bit detached. It minimizes damage—both to others and to oneself—compared to someone who is merely impulsive and driven by emotion. True wisdom aims for neutrality. It won't offer you a shoulder to cry on, but it certainly won't stab you in the back. An emotional person, however, can easily spiral into jealousy, resentment, or outright insults, simply because they can't control their own moods.
You’re just a person. Any label you attach to yourself is pure fiction. No one cares about your identity; they care about what you bring to the table. And you actually have the potential for massive empathy, support, and love because you understand contrast. You just don't realize it because you're too caught up in your own head. Psychopathy isn't a real thing. There is only you and what you choose to become through conscious intent. Have you ever heard of consciousness? Start using it. It's much healthier than these mindless little tests.
Sean Murphy6 said:How do I stop these suicidal thoughts from taking over?
Has anyone here gone through something similar? If you have, I’d really appreciate it if you could share whatever helped you pull through and stay safe.
Try turning those thoughts into a physical act; actually start the suicide attempt you’re imagining. Then see if you truly want it. These thoughts are often just uncertainty—you aren't actually sure if you want to go through with it. Once you move from thought to action, the thought vanishes, and the deed (hopefully a failed one) will clear up the confusion.
Or, there's another way. Assign a deeper meaning to those suicidal impulses. Every time a thought like that surfaces, treat it as a signal that you deserve more love, not less. Only innocent, sensitive, and beautiful souls are sacred enough to prefer self-destruction over projecting their own misery, grief, bitterness, or frustration onto others. You don't lash out at the world with your pain... you hold it deep within your integrity... because your heart, Sean Murphy6, is brave enough to destroy itself just to shield this world from your demons.
Tell those thoughts: "Thank you for helping me see which part of me needs more love, not less." Love that martyr who wants to die. Love that angel.
Now, those thoughts aren't just thoughts anymore. They are a message and a calling.
Death isn't some beautiful experience. Saying otherwise shows a complete lack of appreciation for life itself. It’s ungrateful for the love we share, the new days we get, the small smiles—all of it. I don't know why you'd cloud reality with that kind of thinking; if it helps you face certain truths, fine, but don't force that perspective on everyone else.
That woman doesn't see death the way you're describing it. She sees it as an escape from her current misery. When you've had enough, you've had enough. That's what she understands. Death is coming regardless, so for her, it's just a matter of how much more pain she has to endure before it happens. That is the actual reality of death.
Well said; it's the truth. That's what her mind knows. I was looking at it from the heart. And the heart keeps secrets.
darkcanyon10 said:Hope you're right. But... if you aren't, then in this case, death is a blessing. Best/worst part is she chose this. Consciously. Fully aware. She turned down everything that might have extended her life (one thing was an amputation)... and the doctors are pissed at her for it, treating her like a criminal. They're basically like, "Fine, when the pain gets too much, you'll come begging us to cut the leg off." Yeah, right. Zero empathy, zero humanity, zero morals. Exceptions exist, I guess. Now I'm more scared for her life than her death. Even though selfishly I just want her breathing under this same sky, knowing she's *here*... I still can't look at her like this. I've been wrestling with faith and whatever happens after death for years. You believe. (Jealous of you). My logical brain tells me an afterlife isn't possible. I think people hunt for a million reasons and proofs just because they can't stomach the fact that one day, they won't exist. Period. Why is ego so bad at accepting its own end? Personally, I find it impossible to wrap my head around—this reality where one second they're here, and the next, they're gone. I'm with you on everything you wrote about love coming from the heart. I'm sure we're all connected on that level, but maybe only while we're alive. Thanks for the support.
It’s a paradox; death is life's most profound experience. Maybe on some level, she feels that. Perhaps that fragile sensation is the very comfort nudging her to let go. She knows—I believe she knows consciously—that the end has arrived. She has found peace. And there is beauty in that... it's almost sacred. The soul understands far more than human intellect or logic ever could. Much more, Mickeys. In life's final moments, the soul is at its most active. Just as it is at our beginning, when we are infants. It knows death isn't the end; that's why there is this illogical acceptance. Why would anyone willingly embrace an eternal end? They wouldn't.. they wouldn't.. Because life isn't that wretched. Let's not reduce the miracle of existence to mere fear and the logic of a brain that only knows what society taught it.
It breaks my heart to see them treating her so callously. They don't understand... and there isn't much we can do to change how those doctors perceive their work. It’s a difficult thing to shift. But she will endure this. Believe me, the pain you feel for her isn't nearly as intense as what she is facing herself. She is braver and stronger now than she has ever been. She has this beautiful radiance. May she be blessed. In these moments, she deserves every kind word, every thought, and every prayer. So let it be.. with love.
ambercrane722 said:Andrew Price3 ...honestly, I’m convinced we’re living in the Matrix. Just look at this pathetic excuse for reality and peep what people actually post about online. It’s just endless loops of daily grind bullshit—bosses breathing down your neck, a sick parent, a sister losing her mind, some guy cheating on his girlfriend... just shopping, kids being bratty, constant sarcasm and irony... all while people spread gossip and malice just to get ahead. Sure, you gotta work and make a buck, but I don't see the point because I know we're stuck in this simulation, this total void. I know there’s a different world out there somewhere. Look around you—really look. What do you actually see? It’s just makeup, materialism, mindless gossip, flashy TV commercials, and a bunch of drama queens and kings. It makes me want to weep... it's all a scam, from the banks to the predatory loans. what the fuck is all that?? I used to be right there in the thick of it myself, and at the end of the day, all you've got left is either a hollow skeleton or your soul. And yeah, esoteric stuff is just as real as colloidal silver cures or the Zeitgeist world we're living in. Aliens are real, my dear friends, but not everyone is one of them.
Honestly, what do I see? I see tears frozen in eyes. I see screams muffled by the strength of character. I see kindness buried under survival instincts. I see hearts wounded by the cold sting of disappointment. I see a world that desperately needs compassion, understanding, and someone willing to listen. How can we reach a better system, or better relationships between people, if not through the one thing we lack most—the very reason the world is the way it is? Love. Not technology that provides free energy, not crime prevention, not organic food or medical care... but love and the improvement of human connection. Because from that foundation, technology, medicine, and security can actually be realized.
Through that kind of consciousness... even just one person is enough to make the Matrix tremble.
Nicole Morgan5 said:Oh, sure, you’ve clearly transcended all ego, frustration, and depression. You’re just perfectly zen, basking in the sunlight and living that macrobiotic lifestyle while the rest of us miserable souls are grinding away at work, losing our minds over corporate managers, and searching desperately for some magic trick or piece of advice to help ourselves, let alone anyone else. We’re pulling ten-hour shifts, coming home absolutely drained, and quite frankly, we don't have the mental bandwidth to sit around contemplating spiritual battles or enlightenment.
It’s easy to reach "enlightenment" when you spend your life being idle and lethargic—you probably weigh barely 110 pounds at 6'3", leaving your entire nervous system in standby mode. But hey, why bother with actual effort when you can just fleece people for money to sell them colloidal silver and other nonsense?
Forgive me if I don't belong to that circle of idiots and charlatans—or rather, those modern-day pickpockets who find such sophisticated ways to swindle the last cent out of hardworking Americans.
I see your struggle. You aren't pathetic. Don't describe your life using those words. You don't need that... on top of everything else. That isn't how you should define yourself. You're a good person; you give your all, and I'm sure you do it well. You're a warrior. You strive, you contribute, you sacrifice... and how does the system pay us back? Rarely fairly. But I believe you aren't anything like the people trying to exploit you. You carry your weight... more honestly than this world will ever acknowledge. You see the chaos around us, you realize how messed up things are... and you know they could be better. But can they? I wonder that myself. My gut tells me they can. And nowadays, that's about as good a guarantee as you'll get.
I am not part of the group you mentioned. Believe it or not, I am in your camp. Mud, shovels, and sweat. But I always find the time to speak from the heart and settle my own frustrations. I stopped overthinking things... and that applies to others too. Keep it simple, nice and lovely... as I would say.
My apologies if my posts have been frustrating to read. Be well. I'll try to be more "civil," but I felt compelled to respond to that individual in that specific manner.
Andrew Price3 said:If I can tell you one thing... she is moving into a realm that will make these final, inhumane moments seem utterly insignificant. In fact, her transition "there" will be even more magnificent and divine precisely because of how uncomfortable and undeserved the conditions here have been. Don't be afraid. Where the soul goes, there is healing and revitalization. And they stay in touch—whether through dreams, or those spontaneous moments when you think of them for no reason and suddenly feel a surge of encouragement, safety, or comfort right when you need it. Or perhaps through a silent, imagined dialogue (which isn't actually imagined, but is very real, though the brain perceives it as fantasy or madness because it's programmed not to believe in conversations with the soul... only the heart knows better), or even an actual dialogue. Place your hands over your heart and speak to it. Believe me, their heart will hear. Make their discomfort milder by sending love now... not fear. Your connection is deeper than that. Because what comes from the heart transcends; it bends and warps the space-time dimension... just like gravity. There are no barriers that can stop a message like that.
.. place your palms against your heart, and speak to his. Anytime, anywhere.
darkcanyon10 said:Someone close to me is leaving. Dying. My absolute worst nightmares are playing out in real time. It’s hard to even describe how I feel. Everything is just... clear. I get it all now. That same person knows exactly what's happening, too. We're both just playing along. Looking at each other. But the part that's killing me isn't the death itself—it's the sheer lack of humanity from the medical staff. Zero compassion. Watching them struggle while the people supposed to be caring for them act like they have no souls. It's stripping away any shred of dignity left in the dying process. As much as death scares me... seeing this... I find myself praying for it. 😢
If I can tell you one thing... she is moving into a realm that will make these final, inhumane moments seem utterly insignificant. In fact, her transition "there" will be even more magnificent and divine precisely because of how uncomfortable and undeserved the conditions here have been. Don't be afraid. Where the soul goes, there is healing and revitalization. And they stay in touch—whether through dreams, or those spontaneous moments when you think of them for no reason and suddenly feel a surge of encouragement, safety, or comfort right when you need it. Or perhaps through a silent, imagined dialogue (which isn't actually imagined, but is very real, though the brain perceives it as fantasy or madness because it's programmed not to believe in conversations with the soul... only the heart knows better), or even an actual dialogue. Place your hands over your heart and speak to it. Believe me, their heart will hear. Make their discomfort milder by sending love now... not fear. Your connection is deeper than that. Because what comes from the heart transcends; it bends and warps the space-time dimension... just like gravity. There are no barriers that can stop a message like that.
ambercrane722 said:Andrew Price3, you’re basically the only one who isn't walking around with their eyes glued shut like everyone else. Honestly, thank you for that. You've got this warrior's spirit—pure, raw, and real—which is a hell of a lot different from the fake-ass personas most people put on. It's like they all wear these masks just to survive in this modern-day Matrix, thinking it's the only way to get by. But look around... what do you actually see? Just life and death, and nothing else. People build up these psychological defenses because they can't handle looking into the void, and let's be real: emptiness is just existence without any stakes. Life only feels intense when you realize death is right there with you, even if that weight is a massive, heavy burden to carry on your back.
The Matrix? What if there isn't one? You mention emptiness... are you suggesting that death is what "fills" life?
Mistique, what do you mean by "mistake"? And do you realize that the reason death terrifies you so much—the reason that dread follows you everywhere—is because you've conditioned yourself to view your own soul through such a degrading lens? What you perceive about death and the world at large is simply a projection of your own heart. Intuitively, you know that what lies behind death's door is innocence, kindness, love, compassion, and acceptance. It’s all waiting there. And that creates a massive conflict: the contrast between how you see yourself—as something worthless or flawed—and the reality that greets you when those doors finally open. It leaves you feeling unworthy, alienated, and out of place. It’s unsettling, truly. And your hypersensitivity only makes it more intense.
That said, I have to say, from reading your posts, you handle that burden with incredible skill. Seriously, kudos to you. I admire you. Just... give yourself some credit. That heart of yours, after everything it's endured, deserves a high five.
The one dwelling in the heart. And the heart is essentially a third part of the brain. You have the pineal gland there too, acting as another component. The point is to engage the conscious use of the heart. The brain interprets discomfort as fear, effectively blocking the path to the heart. Any physical sensation of discomfort tends toward integration. However, the brain perceives this as a threat, failing to realize the heart is a far more capable organ for processing that exact same feeling. For the heart, there is no threat to the body, to life, or to the psyche. The heart knows how to handle any psycho-emotional arrangement. The trick, then, is opening that path to the heart. It remains a lifelong mystery—one that modern science is finally starting to answer, moving beyond just occultism, mysticism, the Bible, and other esoteric disciplines.
shadowheron49, let the terror consume you. Let it tear through everything. Let it shatter every single defense. Because that’s always been the point—to break through your fear. Dare to be crucified. Without mercy. Tell Him: "Just do it. Show me Your full glory. Have no mercy on this girl. And as You cut, pierce, tear, and break me, I will feel nothing but love for You." Break, lose your mind, go mad, die, and experience the absolute ecstasy of pain and suffering. Go deeper than what seems possible, and discover a new life within the wreckage of an old paradigm. There is no other way, except through That. Because that terror... is nothing less than HIM... trying to reach inside you.
First off—fear is actually a good thing, in and of itself. You aren't afraid of a specific situation, or a specific person. You’re afraid of the fear itself—that raw sensation. You're afraid of being afraid. But fear is just a message saying, "Hey, look here; you need to take action." It’s a signal, a guide, a tool. It isn't something you should let paralyze you.
Separate the feeling from the situation. How? By leaning into it completely. Notice the fear. Pay attention to it. Feel the physical sensation of terror, accept that you are scared, and feel it shamelessly. Surrender to it—let it tremble, let it hurt, let it crush you. Stop trying to run or build defenses against your own emotions (not against life or circumstances).
Be vulnerable. And keep moving forward. Fear is calling you toward life. Don't you see that? And then maybe you'll realize that "fear" isn't even the right word for it.
Zablua: The past doesn't follow us. We follow it. It’s worth remembering: whatever we did back then, we did the best we could given our perspective and options at that exact moment. Or, more simply, we acted on what we believed was the most effective way to get what we thought we needed right then. So, it isn't an error. There is no such thing as an error in isolation. The only reason guilt exists is because your current consciousness is clashing with how you perceived that action at the time. Of course you feel "guilty"; or more accurately, it’s only natural that you "realize" the weight of that past action... but there's no need for actual guilt.
The purpose of guilt isn't to punish. The purpose of guilt is to teach us how to forgive ourselves. At the time, we simply didn't know better. If we had, we wouldn't have done it. Right?
That sense of boredom is actually a summons—a call to become more than who you are right now. Being afraid of boredom is really just being afraid that, in any given moment, you won't be acting as your true self or doing what you actually love.
So, lean into your nature. Have the courage to be yourself.
The impermanent part that seeks to 'realize' itself through us, 'traveling' from incarnation to incarnation until it 'awakens' via the impermanent. And that isn't us even though we can catch glimpses of Him if He awakens through and by means of us.
You know what I can't wrap my head around? That bolded part. This separation between "Him" and "us." Impermanence versus the impermanent. Does anything actually travel? Or is it just the form of the impermanent changing, manifesting as impermanence? Or is the impermanent merely the consequence of many instances of impermanence?
Or... if impermanence and the impermanent are inseparable—meaning one cannot maintain its system without the absence of the other, or rather, nothing can manifest as the impermanent without impermanence existing—then are the two simply ONE?