Posts by shadowheron49

ambercrane722 said:you can't just laugh at everything, shadowheron49, seriously—if you treat every single thing like a joke, you’re gonna end up looking like a total clown, and trust me, I’ve been there:

It’s all funny now...
except when I dream about him and wake up feeling it 🙂

ambercrane722 said:watched a movie the other day... my hundredth time rewatching True Romance and man, I can still feel that raw love hitting me. why do we get so hooked on books, films, or music anyway? it’s because they’re just mirrors reflecting our deepest, most intense emotions—everything that art manages to pull out of us. you watch someone or something and you're just like, "wow, WTF," but deep down you realize that intensity was already living inside you... and that's why you admire them. we all end up admiring ourselves through those lost pieces of our soul, that whole anima and animus thing. we're basically designed to fuse together for eternity and just melt away when death finally knocks on the door. tick, tock... and that's when you really know if you loved or not, even if it was just fiction. personally, I know I loved with everything I had.. and I hope everyone gets to feel that same rush, whether it comes from reality or something virtual. good luck shadowheron49! how did you manage to steal my entire vibe like that? :-)

Steal your handle? 😂 I don't think 😂 I did.

Hmm... the way you described it sounds a little bit like narcissism to me.
Like... for example, I fell for him because he's everything I might want to be myself...
He's my total opposite in every single way... but seriously, in every way 🤣
There are just a few specific points where I feel incredibly close to him,
but everything else about him is just absolutely perfect 😁
honestly, any girl would fall for him. 😂

I also want everyone to feel that, but I want it to have a happy ending 😁 instead of this 😢

Thanks! 😉

ambercrane722 said:In this universe, you've got everything from pure illusion to cold hard reality... but think about how movies or great art actually get made? It definitely doesn't happen through some boring lens of logic or people just staring at the world through pure reason. We can't ever truly change how we perceive reality, because reality is just a mirror of what’s going on inside us... whether that's something pure and wide-eyed... or something totally twisted and dark. That's why the world is such a chaotic mess of both evil and good. I'll take dreamers over realists any day of the week... the way you see someone else is really just a projection of yourself; you're just casting your own internal baggage onto them. That person might trigger something deep within you, but honestly... maybe it's better if they don't... who knows...

Yeah... and what you're saying is so true...
I try using logic to push away things that just weren't meant to be part of my journey 😂

But if he really is a mirror of my own soul, then without even trying, I'm clearly 😂 a pretty amazing person 😂
because based on how I see him and feel him... absolutely nobody could ever take his place.
Sure, someone else might come along, but they won't be *him*...
He’s just... irreplaceable.
A total pain in the ass... but absolutely perfect.

ambercrane722 said:I was honestly dying, but I can't stop laughing—this sickness is a total joke!

Look...
I've asked around about this quite a bit, and so many people have gone through the exact same thing.
It’s such an intense, overwhelming feeling.
It makes you wonder how much of it is actually possible or just a "coincidence."
Maybe there's a connection to being online.
With that distorted image that feels totally real to US, even though it really ISN'T.

That’s exactly why I bring up the whole idea of manipulating the truth.
What even is the truth?
To me, truth is just whatever we choose to believe.
But what is the actual truth, independent of our own perspectives?
Well... if we actually faced that reality, it probably wouldn't bring us any joy or love...
Because the facts say one thing while our gut feelings scream another.

I'd argue that online romances are super dangerous because they feed you this warped version of reality.
A truth that we basically tailor-make for ourselves.
The trouble is, you can't just change it whenever you feel like it.
If you ever tried to drag that illusion into the real world, you'd probably trigger a massive domino effect where all those little alternative truths we built start crashing down under the weight of what's actually real.

hiddeneagle98 said:To me, it honestly feels like you’re actually getting a kick out of living inside this whole tragic, fatalistic love fantasy. Am I hitting the nail on the head here?

You hit the nail on the head.
There’s just something so incredible about loving someone that deeply—where there are zero strings attached, no expectations, no "why," just this totally pure, raw, unconditional feeling...
It’s that moment where you finally realize you’ve never actually felt anything like this before...
And then it finally clicks why people say love is such a beautiful thing in the first place...

But right now, it hurts way too much and...
I just want to wake up from all of this.
I'm done.

😂 Yeah... it’s exactly that feeling of finding a "brother," but not in a weird way 🤣 more like someone who just gets you... I’ve chatted with tons of other people online, but nobody gives me that vibe, which makes this feel so special... everyone else just feels kind of ordinary, and it makes me realize how superficial internet friendships can be... they don't really impact me, and there's zero chance of falling for them...
But him... he’s honestly on a whole different level than anything I’ve ever experienced in real life, and sometimes I catch myself wondering...
what if I actually met him and he was... I don't know... ugly... awkward... or just a total dork... what would happen then...
So I ran a little mental test (just to see if my feelings were actually legit) and when I imagined meeting some totally unattractive guy... I pictured it was him...
And in that split second... literally in an instant, I felt this urge to just hug him.
It’s like my brain manufactured these totally fictional but incredibly real emotions, and I honestly don't know if I'll ever feel something that intense in real life.

It’s just like a dream... the dreamer remembers every dream as if it were a firsthand experience.
Even if they weren't actually flying, their brain refuses to acknowledge the truth because, to the brain, reality doesn't matter—only the interpretation does.

How do you break free from that?
How does the brain even work like this?
How much does actual truth matter compared to how we interpret things?
I honestly think our brains don't care about the truth.
The sky is blue... but whether it looks blue to you depends entirely on your own brain's interpretation.

Our lives... truth can be whatever we want...
whatever we're willing to believe in.

Like, okay... maybe out in the real world, things aren't always what they seem, and you just deal with the reality in front of you.
But here? We’re talking pure fiction, total illusion.
For instance... he doesn't even have to look like his profile pic, he can lie about his age, or even lie about who he actually is...
HE MIGHT NOT EVEN EXIST.

So tell me, what exactly did you fall for?
A ghost.
(though honestly, I’d bet my life savings that he’s exactly who I think he is, you just feel it, right?)
But whatever...
The truth is, you don't actually know this person at all, no matter how much you read.
You haven't seen them.
And because of that... they don't truly exist.

Just imagine being stuck in this endless crush on a spirit, some perfectly non-existent entity...
You'll never meet anyone that "perfect" again because, well, perfection like that isn't real...
That's what I'm getting at...
And that whole illusion will absolutely wreck you emotionally.

ambercrane722 said:You’re totally tripping out.. there are a few flicks that dive into this exact rabbit hole.. *Strange Days*, for example.. it’s all about where reality ends and the illusion begins, right? That line is razor thin. Go ahead and dream big if you want, just don't forget to actually live your life in the meantime. I mean, there are billions of guys on this planet, yet you’ve gone and fixated on one specific thing. That’s the whole damn issue... getting hyper-focused on someone or something because of some random impulse. It’s way better to just let go of that obsession and actually face the world for what it is.

Exactly... that's what I'm talking about.
It's all just a construct.

These feelings were triggered in such an unnatural way that now they feel unnaturally intense.
The brain doesn't always distinguish between things; it doesn't care so much about what you see, but rather how you interpret what's right in front of you.
Through my own fantasies, deep talks, and everything else, my brain basically lived out a whole real picture, a whole real life.
The emotions are real.
The pain is real,
even though in reality, nothing ever happened.

If anyone gets where I'm coming from...
I find the whole thing absolutely fascinating.

Angela Bailey7 said:No... we were never truly on the same page...
There was simply never an opening for anything to actually happen...
Our connection just snapped, abruptly and likely for good...

Honestly, you aren't saying nearly enough about how sudden that break actually was—maybe if you actually sat down and unpacked why everything imploded so fast, it would ground you. It might help you finally face reality and let go of whatever fantasy you're clinging to... A real story needs a beginning, a middle, a climax, a resolution, and a definitive end... But looking at what you wrote, it sounds to me like you're still desperately holding onto a shred of hope...

I mean... if I laid out the whole story, someone else out there might actually relate—since they've been through the online dating scene too—so I guess I just used a "cliché"
that most people who've dealt with this kind of thing end up using.

But honestly, knowing the details won't change a thing because there's zero hope left and nothing to work with, so now I'm just trying to figure out how to move past this... this weird ache of being in love with someone I've never even met in person.
It feels so immature.
I just want to "get better" and finally move on...

ambercrane722 said:Man, you sound like you’re straight-up fading away... just realize those are nothing but shadows from the dark corners of your own psyche. Once you actually dig deep and face the root causes, everything is gonna click, and you'll finally see that there’s no such thing as suffering in love—there’s only finding the real deal, and honestly, everyone deserves that kind of connection.

Maybe it comes off that way because I'm only posting about this right now, but honestly... nah, I'm not dying (I think 😂 ))
I keep telling myself that love shouldn't hurt and that this was never actually love, but sometimes no matter how much you try to convince yourself, fate just has other plans.
It’s just wild to me how powerful this illusion is, and I can't help but wonder... would I have ever even experienced something this intense if it wasn't just an illusion...
and would I have ever met him...
and if I hadn't... is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Is this kind of way of meeting new people even natural?

I'm worried it isn't, because the brain reacts the exact same way whether the stimulus is through a simulation or real life...
The problem is, how do I convince my brain that this is all just a simulation? It's a person who isn't real, someone I've never actually seen or touched... how am I supposed to tell my head that you don't fall in love like this...
At this rate, I might end up falling for my laptop or a calculator next...

Thanks so much for all the advice, guys! It’s honestly such a relief to feel like I’m not just losing my mind or making things up... like I'm some kind of total weirdo.
People out in the real world just don't get it, so I have to come here and look for answers from people online who might actually relate to what I'm going through.

Now I just need to figure out my next move.

I totally get that the biggest issue is coming from within me.
And I realize I gave myself way too much room to let my imagination run wild and build up this flawless version of him in my head...
Though, if I'm being honest, most of the time I feel like I wasn't even exaggerating that much.
He isn't perfect—he definitely has his flaws—but he's perfect... you know? If you know what I mean...

I tried distracting myself with other stuff, like hitting the gym (but I can literally be on a treadmill and still be thinking about him without even trying)
Or meeting other guys (which is just painful because my brain immediately drifts right back to him)
...
It feels like nothing I do actually works.
Actually... sometimes it even makes it worse, because then I end up dreaming about him, and when I wake up, the ache and the nostalgia hit me so hard I almost wish I hadn't woken up at all...

I never really learned how to deal with this kind of thing because I've never been stuck on anyone for more than a few days; I could always just find someone else to fill the void...
And it always worked...
But this time it's so much harder, probably because of how specific this whole situation is.

😂 So, fine, I'll take your advice—I'll blast some Zecic and just let it all out. 😂
If that doesn't do the trick... then I'm seriously 😁

Hey everyone.
I feel like the people here actually know how to give real answers, and while this might belong in a general vent thread, this is more about my mental state, so I’m looking for some "deeper" advice.

It all started ages ago, meeting someone online—honestly, the biggest illusion ever created.
I met this guy, and we spent so much time messaging back and forth; even though I have a totally grounded life offline, he had such a massive impact on me that after all those months of his advice, his photos, and our endless talks... he became a genuine part of my reality.

He became... someone incredibly important to me. So important that at first, it was just "falling in love," but eventually, that word didn't even begin to cover what I was feeling...

But... we never actually met...
There was never an opportunity for anything to happen...
And then our connection just snapped, suddenly and likely forever...

The thing that’s destroying me right now is this: He isn't here, and technically, he was never even "there"...
yet the fallout from him is everywhere, especially inside my head.
I had a few relationships before him... and I never thought of myself (at least, I didn't) as someone who suffers too much or stays stuck for too long...
But now... I am truly hurting.
That entire long stretch of time was just a mirage; everything I wanted was a fantasy, every dream I had about finally seeing him was just... a hallucination. It all feels as surreal as a dream.
I can't get over it, and I can't forget him...
More often than not, just when I think I've finally moved on... I dream about him...
I'm just... hurting. I'm suffering and I don't even know why—is that even possible?

Because of that illusion... him... I can't seem to fall for anyone else, because nobody compares to him.
Subconsciously, I find myself measuring every guy against him... and nobody even comes close to him... to the illusion.
I'm not some immature kid; I'm in my mid-twenties, and if I'm reacting this irrationally... I just don't know how to help myself.

He’s left me with an unanswered question...
a dream that never finished playing out...
like a single square of chocolate left from a whole bar...
an unfinished story...
Will I be stuck in this agony forever?
In this illusion?

I'm terrified of that... it would be the ultimate punishment...
How do I wake up from this fantasy?
How do I just keep living?

Is this even normal?