Posts by Paul Jones7

cosmictinker21 said:Fuck off? 🙄

I mean, that’s really the only thing that comes to mind—though I honestly can't believe someone actually said it. 🙂

Lisa Morales4 said:For me, this is pretty much... FO The Way Quote 🙂

That's basically what I've been trying to say since this thread started.

So, what does that actually mean, FO? I guess I'm not quite following what you were getting at 🙂

cosmictinker21 said:That’s pretty close to how Buddhist thought works. Taoists feel the same way—that the essence lies in the journey itself—and even Jesus made it clear that we need to look with open hearts.

I’m not really a fan of expecting happiness to arrive via some supernatural intervention; I prefer the natural flow of things and events. Then again, we can never account for every single variable, algorithm, or potential path in life. On the flip side, it’s also not wise to just sit back completely passively and act like a plaything of fate, karma, or whatever you want to call it. That’s the easy way out: "It's not my fault, there's nothing I can do, everything is already predetermined," including my entire life path...😁

I mean, religions are fine for study and comparison, I guess, but in my view, the best kind of faith is the internal, direct sort. It seems like a shame to view belief solely through the lens of some external religious doctrine. You end up with people labeling themselves as "not a believer" just because they didn't fit into a specific organized system, which feels like a missed opportunity. To me, a transcendent faith is rooted in reality, and a believer is simply anyone who senses—or truly believes—that there’s something more out there. That’s really the fundamental starting point.

Nobody ever sat me down and taught me to view happiness as a mere coincidence. I just... figured it out on my own, I suppose. I spent a lot of time just watching the people around me and the paths their lives took, and I started noticing this strange logic in everything that happened to them—especially those moments where things went right (or wrong) through no effort of their own, almost purely by chance. So, if "chance" fits the pattern that perfectly, maybe it isn't quite as accidental as it looks, right? 😉

briskbison62 said:That’s a beautiful way to put it. Some folks have already done the hard work and learned their lessons, so they're basically like a Hemingway novel—just coming back to Earth to teach the rest of the flock what they know... They don't really need any more "strikes of fate" to learn how the world works.

Totally. I've definitely been there—I used to have (and honestly, still struggle with 😳) a certain "vice" or weakness, and the guilt was just crushing. I’d sit there thinking, "Okay, this is it, this is my karma catching up to me!" I won't get into the messy details, but let's just say some bad stuff—actually, even worse—did happen, and it was pretty obvious I had invited it into my life through my own mindset and actions, along with whatever media I was consuming at the time. But looking back now, instead of just sitting around crying over spilled milk, I'm trying to see it as a chance to actually grow and change...

I guess I never really faced any real consequences for my own weaknesses. Why? Not because I didn't deserve them—believe me, I deserved them, big time—but it wasn't because I was "manifesting" or "attracting" things. At least, not consciously. And it wasn't because I wasn't afraid; I’m definitely not immune to fear. It’s more like there's a larger plan at play involving the current stage of life we're in—in my case, a punishment would have just been counterproductive. As for the lessons tied to those flaws, they'll come eventually. Everything happens in its own time, I suppose.

You went through that consequence, sure, but maybe being punished for a weakness was actually more necessary for you because grasping that specific lesson was more vital for your path right then than it was for mine. If that fallout was the best way for you to learn, then it served a purpose—it was directed toward a goal, much more so than just being about the mistake itself.

briskbison62 said:That’s a beautiful way to put it. Some folks have already done the hard work and learned their lessons, so they're basically like a Hemingway novel—just coming back to Earth to teach the rest of the flock what they know... They don't really need any more "strikes of fate" to learn how the world works.

Totally. I've definitely been there—I used to have (and honestly, still struggle with 😳) a certain "vice" or weakness, and the guilt was just crushing. I’d sit there thinking, "Okay, this is it, this is my karma catching up to me!" I won't get into the messy details, but let's just say some bad stuff—actually, even worse—did happen, and it was pretty obvious I had invited it into my life through my own mindset and actions, along with whatever media I was consuming at the time. But looking back now, instead of just sitting around crying over spilled milk, I'm trying to see it as a chance to actually grow and change...

True. Some people might even go so far as to say that every single experience holds the potential for growth and change.

cosmictinker21 said:Oh, sure, it’s totally the wall's fault because it had the audacity to exist right in front of us... what an absolute menace 🤣

You're kind of missing the point here. I mean, sure, the wall defines what's possible and what isn't, but the actual choice—the part that matters—is whether we keep charging ahead until we hit it, or if we decide to pivot and find our way around it entirely.

I think you've managed to grab onto one specific part of the lesson you need to learn, though... and honestly, there's a pretty simple solution being offered right here. It's just a matter of actually putting it into practice, I guess.

cosmictinker21 said:That’s a nice way of putting it, but honestly, even then, I can't quite wrap my head around certain things. It isn't about trying to "justify" the bad stuff, which... well, sometimes it just drags us down so far, stalls our progress, and drains us until we're completely spent. We end up stuck, often burying ourselves under our own misery, unable to claw our way back out. And that's just how it goes. Some people stay buried forever. Unfortunately, I’m not much of a believer, and I struggle to make sense of those kinds of interpretations. I guess I just don't have the capacity to look at the big picture like that, or maybe the heavens haven't opened up enough for me to see things from a spiritual perspective... Sometimes, I actually envy people who still hold onto that kind of hope.😢

I mean, I think you are—and you know as well as anyone that the whole point of truly seeing something is the act of observation itself. If someone already has a fixed mental image of what they're about to encounter, then they aren't really looking, are they? To truly see, I guess you have to strip away those preconceived notions first, just letting go of what you *think* should be there so you can build an actual picture based on what's right in front of you.

I wonder just how much we drain ourselves through all these life events—mostly by getting so deeply attached to them, or maybe just by clinging to these expectations that never actually happen.

See, attachment is really just this mental construct we build up toward whatever is happening around us. It’s what drives our reactions, which then, predictably, trigger a whole chain of reactions from everyone else.

And honestly, that whole cycle of reaction is where karma comes into play. Think of it like a ball hitting a wall; the ball bounces back because of the speed it had when it hit. So... is the wall really to blame for the bounce, or is it just the velocity and the angle of the shot?

cosmictinker21 said:Deep contemplation didn't cut it. Neither did wonder, nor any of those little rituals—new moons, voodoo dolls, "manifesting" positive vibes, or endlessly tweaking my methods, tactics, and strategies. I managed to see certain things coming, which kept me from making massive blunders and helped me dodge some pain, but that didn't protect me from the stuff I couldn't possibly have foreseen. Every single time, I ended up paying the price for those experiences, more or less, but it was worth it... at least I learned how to observe and actually make decisions.😁

Now, when it comes to money, unexpected windfalls, or those much-desired strokes of luck, nothing has ever just fallen into my lap. Fate always seemed to take a wide detour around me; I couldn't catch it if I tried, and it wasn't even in my line of sight. That little devil knew I’d probably try to tackle him head-on if he were any closer.🙂

Rearranging my life according to Feng Shui didn't help either—moving things around, balancing elements like water, wood, or metal, trying north or south, front or back... none of it worked. Even pinning up vision boards of my goals failed to spark anything.🙂

As for everything I've gained or achieved, I mostly looked out for myself. Sometimes it was through being decent enough that people felt inclined to help, and other times I had to work myself to the bone just to secure the bare essentials.

The people I've met who stepped in to help without being asked—driven purely by their own kindness and consideration—those are the only things I truly feel are gifts from above. In my mind, that's the only thing worth calling "luck." If that's the case, I think I'm a very lucky person.

But as for winning the Powerball, hitting the jackpot, or any of that big-money stuff? No amount of shamanic wisdom or expert witchcraft is going to help there. The Fates dealt me a pretty harsh hand right from birth. 🤷☕

I mean, look, it's your life and your own specific lesson to learn. Maybe things just fall into someone else's lap, or maybe they've learned how to attract them, but that's their journey, and their lesson is going to be something entirely different. Personality alone can't do it all, because the soul is constantly watching and trying its best—as much as it's in its power—to keep the personality from veering off course. Actually, the soul attracts things—more, better, stronger, and more spontaneously than our personalities ever could. I suppose that's something worth noting, especially with this whole New Age surge we're seeing lately.

cosmictinker21 said:Deep contemplation didn't cut it. Neither did wonder, nor any of those little rituals—new moons, voodoo dolls, "manifesting" positive vibes, or endlessly tweaking my methods, tactics, and strategies. I managed to see certain things coming, which kept me from making massive blunders and helped me dodge some pain, but that didn't protect me from the stuff I couldn't possibly have foreseen. Every single time, I ended up paying the price for those experiences, more or less, but it was worth it... at least I learned how to observe and actually make decisions.😁

Now, when it comes to money, unexpected windfalls, or those much-desired strokes of luck, nothing has ever just fallen into my lap. Fate always seemed to take a wide detour around me; I couldn't catch it if I tried, and it wasn't even in my line of sight. That little devil knew I’d probably try to tackle him head-on if he were any closer.🙂

Rearranging my life according to Feng Shui didn't help either—moving things around, balancing elements like water, wood, or metal, trying north or south, front or back... none of it worked. Even pinning up vision boards of my goals failed to spark anything.🙂

As for everything I've gained or achieved, I mostly looked out for myself. Sometimes it was through being decent enough that people felt inclined to help, and other times I had to work myself to the bone just to secure the bare essentials.

The people I've met who stepped in to help without being asked—driven purely by their own kindness and consideration—those are the only things I truly feel are gifts from above. In my mind, that's the only thing worth calling "luck." If that's the case, I think I'm a very lucky person.

But as for winning the Powerball, hitting the jackpot, or any of that big-money stuff? No amount of shamanic wisdom or expert witchcraft is going to help there. The Fates dealt me a pretty harsh hand right from birth. 🤷☕

If the spirit is God's very essence and the sole source of life, and we have the ability to manifest that spirit, then God really does flow through us and through others. It's like saying, "God sent you to me." And honestly, it's true. The issue sometimes is that the personality doesn't know how to value an event or a certain direction. It tends to assume that if life hits you hard, it's bad, or if life is gentle, it's good. That's just because it's looking through its own narrow lens, rather than seeing the bigger picture. And that truth—the one right in the middle of the chaos—isn't always easy to see when you're in it. It's usually much easier to judge the meaning and importance of things once there's some time and distance involved.

Just one more thought I wanted to toss out there: looking back, I think the things I lacked actually pushed me forward way more than the stuff I actually had. It’s the gaps that drive the growth, the learning, and the actual understanding, I guess.

For instance—and maybe this sounds a bit strange—the fact that I struggled for a long time to find that deep, meaningful, long-term kind of love... well, that actually gave me an incredible amount of freedom and time. It forced me to really look inward and question things. Since I wasn't tied down to just one person, it allowed me to give myself to so many different experiences—and I don't mean that in a purely physical way, if that's not what you meant 🙂—but more broadly speaking.

Then there were those stretches where my health wasn't exactly great. But honestly, those low points gave me the drive to finally understand what being healthy actually means, how much it matters, and the many different paths you have to take to get back on track.

It seems to me that what we lack is exactly what directs and motivates us. If we actually had everything we ever wanted right away, maybe we wouldn't strive to be anything more than just happy little houseplants sitting in the sun. That might be why we don't have it all. There’s a certain purpose in the lack itself, I think.

So, why am I missing something? Well, I’d love to figure out the "why," but the starting point has to be accepting that a reason actually exists. And usually—whether it's through our own direct actions or some invisible threads of fate—that reason is always found within ourselves.

We are both the cause and the consequence.

Chris Peterson53 said:Or what about those people who just seem to have the universe on their side? I’m talking about folks who aren't even religious—so they don't credit God for their luck—and they don't buy into any spiritual "law of attraction" nonsense either. They’re just the type of people who happen to trip over a twenty-dollar bill on a sidewalk, or find a piece of jewelry just lying there. Or maybe they answer some random trivia question out of sheer boredom and walk away with a massive prize. Even that scenario where a wealthy aunt leaves her entire estate to one specific person instead of her twenty other nieces and nephews—even when that person barely spent any time looking after her...
Recently, a cousin of mine—someone who fits this description perfectly—inherited everything from another relative,
who didn't leave a single cent to their own immediate family.
Knowing plenty of other people blessed with this strange kind of luck, I've been sitting here wondering why, but I haven't found an answer... 😉
How do you actually explain these kinds of occurrences?
Is it pure predestination?
Some subconscious power to attract material wealth? ☕

If we’re talking about things happening spontaneously—like a piece of a larger plan serving its purpose—then given everything you’ve been through, I imagine things should be looking pretty clear to you by now.

In principle, the strongest people usually carry the heaviest loads, though I suppose that isn't always the case. Some people who seem "weak" end up burdened by the sheer weight of their own choices and consequences, while some truly powerful people follow a completely different, predetermined path. Why would a great teacher have to endure a rough life after they've already mastered their craft? Well, maybe part of their design is simply to help others, and that requires certain prerequisites.

Chris Peterson53 said:If that’s how it works, then my karma regarding this whole situation is pretty pathetic... honestly, yuck!
I’ve had to sweat and grind for absolutely everything I have. In all my life, I’ve won at a casino exactly once—and even then, it was a tiny amount. If I could just get my hands on a 20-carat diamond, I wouldn't even be able to afford it... 😂
A twenty-dollar bill could practically stick to my shoe and I probably wouldn't even notice it lying there... damn this karma, though I suppose I have to make peace with it, seeing as I know people whose luck is even more disastrous than mine...
Let’s be real: I’m not envious of anyone—don't get me wrong. Not even my cousin. This guy didn't even blink when he inherited a few hundred thousand dollars; he immediately went out and bought a luxury car worth maybe $80,000, only to crash it while drunk three days later. He sent the wreck straight to the scrapyard since he luckily escaped without a scratch, and then just ordered another one... then he bought his son a 1,000-square-foot condo right in the heart of NYC for his wedding. He burned through the cash in about three months, but then, before even a couple of weeks had passed, more money just fell from the sky for him... in a way you couldn't even imagine if you tried...
One spiritual advisor actually tried to explain it to me—that because my cousin doesn't value money or material things at all, they just seem to gravitate toward him effortlessly...

Is there any way to actually change your karma????

It’s tough enough trying to find your own path, let alone trying to interpret someone else's or figure out if they're even on the right track. We can't really wrap our heads around what someone else actually needs.

The right path is usually the one where doors start opening for you—the one where you feel the least amount of internal resistance.

As for money: try focusing on what you actually lack, rather than just what you wish you had.

I guess you could say Michael Newton is more or less heading in the right direction, though—and this is the kicker—it’s not something that can ever be fully verified through a scientific lens. It’s that classic catch-22, really... you can't exactly prove it, but then again, you can't really debunk it either.

But honestly, a transcendent person isn't going to go looking for answers from science—especially when science doesn't have the answers yet—they're going to look toward transcendence itself.

we're the evidence
boom-boom
don't go looking for proof
boom-boom

Paul Richardson12 said:Like I said, the line is thin. But honestly, as long as the goal serves a good purpose—and as long as we aren't manipulating our own desires for selfish ends—I don't think we need to overthink this to death. Just being aware that your ego exists, watching it grow, and seeing how it messes with your life... I think that's half the battle right there. If we could actually find the sweet spot, we'd be living in total harmony. Instead, most people are either just coasting on autopilot or trying to balance things the best way they know how.

The goal itself is fine, provided it serves the greater good, like you mentioned. But I guess there's a nuance in what that goal actually represents to us personally. It's something worth figuring out during the whole self-awareness journey. You might see "questioning" as a form of self-torture, but I think the key here isn't about harsh analysis—it's more about pure observation. Self-awareness is really just seeing your various layers for what they truly are.

Then, you might run into a conflict between what you actually observe and the idealized version of yourself you've been carrying around. Honestly, that friction might be exactly what helps us dismantle those negative ego traits.

I mean, cucumbers probably live in total, blissful harmony with one another 🙂 but we're humans, right? Our goals are supposedly a bit bigger than just being a cucumber. 🙂

Paul Richardson12 said:I totally get where you're coming from regarding that thin line between standing your ground and just feeding your ego,,,But listen, once you realize that's happening, you actually have the power to quiet that internal ego down,,And desires don't automatically have to be selfish,,,There are plenty of motivations that push us toward helping others,,,Like wanting peace in your family, wanting to help someone in need, or wanting to spread a little more kindness and understanding,,,Not every single desire is about material stuff or centered solely on us,,,Even if fulfilling those wants ends up benefiting us personally, why should that be considered wrong from the jump?

I feel like you might be splitting hairs a bit between what we actually want and where our ego comes from—though, I guess that’s kind of the point, isn't it? If most of our desires are born directly out of the ego, then we really need to get on the same page about what "ego" even means here. When I talk about the ego, I'm not just pointing fingers at the negative traits or the vanity side of things—not exclusively, anyway. I mean the whole package: that entire constructed identity we carry around, the image we've built of ourselves, and those deep-seated patterns in how we think and act. It's more than just being self-centered; it's the whole operating system.

Paul Richardson12 said:I totally get where you're coming from regarding that thin line between standing your ground and just feeding your ego,,,But listen, once you realize that's happening, you actually have the power to quiet that internal ego down,,And desires don't automatically have to be selfish,,,There are plenty of motivations that push us toward helping others,,,Like wanting peace in your family, wanting to help someone in need, or wanting to spread a little more kindness and understanding,,,Not every single desire is about material stuff or centered solely on us,,,Even if fulfilling those wants ends up benefiting us personally, why should that be considered wrong from the jump?

Once you finally manage to quiet that ego of yours—which, let’s be honest, is probably a full-time job in itself—what starts to happen is... well, it's hard to put a finger on it, I guess. It's this slow, gradual shift in how everything feels. Maybe it's more like a settling, or a thinning out of all that mental noise we carry around every day. You start to notice things differently, without that constant internal commentary trying to take credit for everything. It's subtle, really. Very subtle. Loss of desire... I don't know, maybe it’s just one of those things that happens when you've been staring at the same four walls for too long—or maybe it's deeper than that. It feels like the spark just sort of... flickers out, leaving you feeling a bit hollowed out. I guess it's hard to explain without sounding like a cliché, but there's this strange, heavy stillness that settles in, where nothing really seems to pull you in anymore. Not even the stuff you used to love. It’s a weird, quiet kind of emptiness, I suppose.It doesn't mean everything is just going to vanish into thin air—not quite—but things are definitely going to get a whole lot thinner. There’s also this other layer to it, I suppose... that whole thing about desire being driven by the reward of pleasure. It kind of doesn't matter how you actually go about getting that feeling, does it? It's just about the payoff itself.

Paul Richardson12 said:I totally get where you're coming from regarding that thin line between standing your ground and just feeding your ego,,,But listen, once you realize that's happening, you actually have the power to quiet that internal ego down,,And desires don't automatically have to be selfish,,,There are plenty of motivations that push us toward helping others,,,Like wanting peace in your family, wanting to help someone in need, or wanting to spread a little more kindness and understanding,,,Not every single desire is about material stuff or centered solely on us,,,Even if fulfilling those wants ends up benefiting us personally, why should that be considered wrong from the jump?

Can you actually say—with any real certainty—that we don't just want things to go well for other people because it feels good? I mean, maybe it’s all just about that little hit of dopamine, or building up this carefully curated ego image where we get to tell ourselves, "Yeah, I'm one of those genuinely good people who cares about others." It’s a bit of a rabbit hole, I guess... wondering if true altruism even exists, or if we're all just chasing that quiet sense of self-satisfaction.

That’s exactly why it’s such a headache to pin down what actual altruism looks like—it’s hard to draw a line when the internal motive is what really carries all the weight, while the outward action itself doesn't necessarily tell you much about what that gesture actually means to us. I guess we might just be wired that way—sort of conditioned to perform these acts just to buy ourselves that little sense of satisfaction, you know? Like we're trying to prove we're "good people" or whatever. Or maybe there's this subconscious belief that we're somehow earning a reward down the road. It's possible that the internal motivation is basically just our number one source of instant gratification—that quick hit of dopamine we get from knowing we did something decent.

And honestly, none of that actually has to be the way it is. It’s not set in stone—it really isn't.

Paul Richardson12 said:I totally get where you're coming from regarding that thin line between standing your ground and just feeding your ego,,,But listen, once you realize that's happening, you actually have the power to quiet that internal ego down,,And desires don't automatically have to be selfish,,,There are plenty of motivations that push us toward helping others,,,Like wanting peace in your family, wanting to help someone in need, or wanting to spread a little more kindness and understanding,,,Not every single desire is about material stuff or centered solely on us,,,Even if fulfilling those wants ends up benefiting us personally, why should that be considered wrong from the jump?

I don't think physical stuff is really the best way to tell the difference between a genuine need and just wanting something to feed the ego—or, you know, just chasing a quick hit of dopamine
.
If you’re actually aware that something needs to get done—like, truly conscious of it—then you can step up because you realize you're the one available to handle it. It doesn't even have to feel like a "desire." It might just be a clear-eyed recognition of a necessity. I mean, there are so many chores or tasks we tackle that we don't necessarily *want* to do, but we’re fully aware they simply have to happen—sometimes because if we don't do them, nobody else will. If we approach things through the lens of desire, it gets blurry; you never quite know if you're acting out of necessity or just doing it for your own sake. But when there's that underlying awareness of what's required, then you actually know
.
There’s nothing wrong with getting something in return for your efforts—that’s just how the world works, it's part of the social contract we all live by. The real issue arises if that transactional mechanism becomes our primary driver without us even... well, being aware of it
.
We like to tell ourselves we're being selfless and good, when in reality, we might just be chasing that little hit of gratification
.

Kenneth Barnes7 said:Forgive my intrusion here. 🙂

But what about loving both yourself AND others? How do you strike that balance? Is it about equilibrium, or should we prioritize others over ourselves?
When you're purely self-centered—it's obvious; that love blinds you and keeps you small. When you love others—are you loving everyone, or just specific people? It comes down to whether you're just seeing reflections of yourself in them or actually seeing them for who they are...
And if you love others more than yourself—is that a deficit of self-love, a failure to value yourself, or is it simply an open heart reaching for genuine connection?

Best, 🙂

It feels like this whole definition of love is getting a bit too caught up in head games and overthinking everything.

Paul Richardson12 said:See, "loving yourself" without caring for others is basically just coddling your own ego rather than connecting with your actual soul... and honestly, that kind of self-absorption has zero to do with that universal love we’re all supposedly chasing and trying to spread around...

Desire is what actually drives us, plain and simple...

It seems to me it's mostly about the scale of that love—how much ground it covers. If you think of love as light, it could be a tiny spark, a lightbulb, or even the sun. A spark only lights itself up, a bulb illuminates whoever is standing nearby, but the sun... well, the sun shines on everyone. I suppose the intensity of the love just dictates its capacity.

Then again, it's pretty hard to separate the concept of "self-love" from the ego, isn't it? Since the ego is basically just how a person perceives themselves, once you bring "the self" into the conversation, the ego is sort of invisibly tangled in there. Maybe it's unnecessary to draw a line between them at all, because true love encompasses everything—including the self—in one big glow.

I tend to think that when people talk about "loving oneself," they're really just trying to distinguish a healthy ego from an unhealthy one. A healthy ego loves itself, whereas failing to love yourself might just mean your ego is a bit out of whack.

And let's face it, the ego is our engine—it defines our earthly goals and ambitions. But I wonder, why do we always treat desire like it's some kind of problem?

- Wishful thinking... basically closing ourselves off to actual knowledge because we're too busy pretending we already know it all.
- That constant push to get what we want... I wonder if we end up shortchanging others by insisting on our own desires? There’s always an "I" lurking behind every wish.

People who are genuinely full of love aren't primarily driven by desire; they're moved by love and awareness—being aware of needs and letting love act as a guide. Maybe that sounds a bit idealistic, but it feels like a path worth following. If we let desire be our only motor, we'll end up living entirely for ourselves, which just feeds the ego. Is that really the point of it all?

I mean, you can't really love other people without loving yourself first,

but—and this is the tricky part—you definitely *can* love yourself while being totally indifferent to everyone else.

At the end of the day, I guess all selfishness just boils down to a basic, primal desire.

Honestly, if the idea itself is solid, it doesn't really matter who thought of it—whether it’s someone else or you—it still makes you laugh, I guess. 😁

electricdriver33 said:How did this thread even end up in the Spirituality subforum anyway? 🤔
...

Well, I suppose that's just your homework—trying to find the connection 😛

casualtiger2 said:The topic is a bit loosely framed—which means any conclusions drawn will be pretty loose too. The title brings up modern society, but the actual question focuses on specific individuals.
There isn't really a definition here for what "thinking only of oneself" actually looks like. From a psychological standpoint, everyone (unless you're fully enlightened) is constantly "thinking" of themselves on a subconscious level—kind of like that scene in Being John Malkovich where he walks through those secret doors into his own head 🙂)

Selfishness isn't some new phenomenon unique to the modern era; it's always been there. I think the real crux of the matter is distinguishing between destructive selfishness and healthy self-love—and seeing how much a given society encourages one over the other.
If this is meant to be a critique of today's capitalist society, then that thesis needs to be clearly laid out with actual arguments. On the other hand, if we're talking about the (un)selfish nature of people in general, we probably need a few foundational points to work with first.

I've always felt that selfishness doesn't really mean acting for 'oneself' as much as it means acting 'only for oneself.' I guess the whole point is trying to get a handle on what’s actually driving someone. A lot of those actions people claim are done for the sake of others? They’re often just masks for selfish motives—the actual reasons why someone even bothers to act in the first place.

The real drivers behind doing things for someone else—those genuine acts—are love and actually paying attention to what others need. It’s about love and understanding, all in the pursuit of something better.

I guess you could say limbo is that weird, middle-ground purgatory—it’s what happens when you don't have enough malice in you to be truly selfish or wicked, yet you also lack the overwhelming love required to be genuinely selfless or good