Posts by Mark Diaz75

Paul Thompson3 said:I didn't mean to offend you if you have kids—I know that can be a sensitive subject.
It seems wild to me to even consider having children; why would anyone ever want to sentence their own flesh and blood to life?
People might call my outlook bleak, but honestly, I think having kids is the ultimate selfish act.
Then there’s the constant anxiety and the massive cost—I don't think I'm wired for it. If someone at school so much as looked at my kid wrong, I'd probably lose my mind, and you just can't live like that.
What am I supposed to watch them become? These happy little kids eventually turning into either mindless drones or people crushed by the system—I'm not sure which is worse.
For me, staying childless feels like the responsible, sane choice. Just looking around, it seems like people hit a certain age, realize they've got no clue what to do with their lives, and decide, "Fine, let's just have a kid." They can barely afford college, the job market is a total disaster, and the future looks bleaker by the day—but hey, let's have a couple of kids anyway.

Everything you wrote hits home....
An honest person can't really offend me.
Like most people, I dove into parenthood without really thinking it through. And yeah, sometimes I feel like I
really screwed myself over because of it. But then I stop and wonder what else I would have done—nothing particularly brilliant comes to mind. I wouldn't trade places with you. In the hard times, it's the most important things in life that keep us going.
Everything seems easy when you're young.....
Life is tough enough as it is; I don't need kids making it harder. You love them, so it becomes easier... though, I suppose the things people do for women—well, we won't compare that (and vice versa, I don't want any ladies getting offended).
Anyway... I think we all end up with whatever we dedicated ourselves to most, so we should probably clear those dark thoughts out of our heads and focus on... wisdom, for instance.

Do you have some specific reason for not wanting kids?

I haven't caught up on all the posts yet!
You're still young, man—as for me, I'm only interested in thinking about death while I'm healthy and... well, more from a spiritual perspective...
A woman attaches herself to something deep inside you without you even realizing it, and then when she leaves... it hurts. You won't even know why, because part of you would rather just hate her.
Honestly, be glad you didn't have kids... that's a whole different kind of misery.

Believe me, I’ve definitely been there myself...

So, sounds like she really did you dirty? I'm guessing you're mostly just pissed at yourself for being so naive about the whole thing...
It'll pass, though. Eventually.

Anthony White85 said:Over the last year, I’ve somehow drifted into a state of pure resentment toward everything.
I didn't even realize how much I was isolating myself, turning down invitations and pulling away from everyone. I’ve stopped buying things altogether. My phone screen is shattered, and while I have the savings to fix it, I just can't bring myself to buy anything nice—except for the occasional candy bar or soda.😛

For instance, I dealt with some physical health issues that eventually spiraled into mental ones. Even after my physical health stabilized, I realized I was stuck in a depression. I started lying to people just to push them away, lost all my drive... it’s been a struggle. I wanted to change, but as time went on, I passed up chances at relationships because I felt it wouldn't be fair to get involved while being this unhappy. Avoiding intimacy only made the loneliness worse.

Has anyone else navigated this, or is anyone currently in the same boat? I honestly can't see an end in sight.

I’m guessing you aren't that old, so this feels like a case of being disappointed in yourself and your friends.
Maybe those health issues knocked you off your track, and now you feel like you can't find your way back.
It feels like you're at a crossroads, but really, you're just growing up (or, better yet, evolving).
Try building new connections based on actual honesty. Relationships are always worth it if you're both in a similar headspace
and looking for a way out. Read more, learn more—maybe then life's lessons won't feel quite so surreal.

Kevin Bailey2 said:I don't.

You're predictable, and frankly, arguing with you is already getting boring.

And "extra" irony at that???
Life is too good... no point in ruining it for yourself or anyone else...

Kevin Bailey2 said:And your cheap sarcasm is just great.

What’s with this finger-pointing? He did this... she did that... Give me a break. Wtf?

When I showed up to the first meetup, I wasn't on good terms or bad terms with anyone. Which was the worst part... I didn't even know which handle belonged to whom for the first hour. I need to look people in the eye to actually get them. All those petty arguments flying around the forum? They completely vanish once I'm standing there. I have no clue who said what or who was talking trash on which thread.

Do you seriously expect everyone else to read people the same way you do?
All that nonsense... the bickering... the crap... it's not even worth remembering.

Look, Gama, just keep that to yourself like he usually does. Can't you see there's something kind of fun about him messing with you?
Actually, that's all part of the fun—if you don't find it funny, well, that's your loss.
Or maybe you should go find some ultra-high-end Psychic elsewhere, since we're only doing "virtual" diagnoses here...

Roger Carter9 said:I know I won't be attending... because I'm simply not feeling up to it. Honestly, I believe those who actually do show up aren't "bad" at all, given they have the energy to go out and socialize. Enjoy yourselves.

Then you've got the folks who are doing so poorly they can't even manage to type a message....

P.S. You're not getting old yet...

So, what was the point of even going to the concert?
I mean, I thought...
Looking for something "extra"?
Maybe try being the one who brings the energy to the group instead!

Cool! But are you actually cool?

Come on, give me something here! Don't just go quiet on me like that.
Are you even there??

Self-guided training to get things moving.
It keeps you from blowing a fuse at the worst possible moment—you know, when it’s already too late.
Those initial steps are everything; they basically set the stage for everything that follows...
Just stay persistent about hunting down the best books out there.

So, you’re basically using overeating as a coping mechanism. You need to find a replacement for that.
Try meditating, hitting the gym, reading some actual heavy literature—basically just doing the work on yourself and how you interact with women.
Maybe go grab a copy of "The Art of Seduction" online and refine your strategy, but honestly? Fix your own headspace first.
You’re just a little bitter, nothing more. Once you actually understand how human psychology works, you won't spend so much time playing the victim.

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but it’s pretty obvious you’re dealing with a mountain of issues here.
Just because you aren't acknowledging them doesn't mean they aren't there.
It seems like you're only looking for advice from people in your exact same boat—I guess you only really value their perspective.

Try hanging out with people in person more often instead of staring at a screen all day; you might find you aren't eating quite as much, too.

Think about this: if someone came to you asking what a recovering addict should do about their cravings, what would you tell them? Since you love drawing parallels, why wouldn't you give that kind of advice?
You don't have to be an ex-addict yourself to offer some guidance, right?

Why do you think some things are better left unsaid?
Maybe those thoughts aren't the cause—maybe the overeating is just the symptom.
Real life isn't some polished Hollywood production. It’s made up of the mundane stuff too—like hearing neighbors gossiping in the hallway. Those people might not have
public Facebook profiles, but they're out there claiming they feel just as alive as you do.

Look, older people aren't automatically wiser, but you can't just lump them all together in one big category.
If you’ve lived in the same apartment complex since you were a kid, sometimes the people around you just can't keep up with
how much you've changed. You shouldn't judge them for being different, or narrow-minded, or... whatever else. They’re closed off, even if
they aren't making it obvious.

Just imagine if those people were right—the ones who told you that you’d end up stunted if you spent your whole childhood eating junk food in front of the TV.
Are you still trying to prove them wrong just for the sake of it?

It feels like you didn't actually stick to the topic you opened up here.
Honestly, I don't think that's even your real issue—maybe it’s more about how people interact with one another?
The way this is written just gives me that impression.

Maybe you’re actually addicted to being rejected.
Subconsciously, you might be pushing your partner away just so you can settle into that "rejected" persona
and relive those old feelings from back when you were a kid.

I mean, what are you even expecting from a father figure? Haven't you realized who he really is by now?
What makes a relationship work? It definitely isn't jealousy!
Are you actually sitting down and talking to your partner about "your" issue?

I’m done talking about him with you.