Posts by Larry Lewis

David Vaughn75 said:Honestly, I’ve spent way more time wrestling with anxiety than I ever did with psychosis—it's a different kind of beast entirely.

Look, anxiety? That’s almost the "easy" route compared to full-blown psychosis—at least with anxiety, you actually have a fighting chance to fight back. But this hellscape you're living through right now? That's a different beast entirely. It’s pure, unadulterated torment, and honestly, most people don't give a damn. They just look the other way while you're burning alive. 🙄

The absolute worst part of this whole existence—the real kicker—is that you never actually know what kind of day is waiting for you around the corner. It’s completely unpredictable. Take today, for instance; I was dealing with this crushing wave of anxiety, though honestly, yesterday was just as bad—maybe even worse—and it just keeps circling back like a bad habit. It is utterly exhausting. After a few days of riding that emotional rollercoaster, I find my willpower just... evaporates. And that's where the danger lies—when you lose that drive, things can spiral quite quickly.

So, I just finished my psych eval—you know, those little tests they make you take—and the woman tells me there aren’t any psychotic elements present, but apparently, I’ve got some anxiety issues going on. Everything else? Perfectly fine, according to her.

I have to admit—and I say this with zero shame—I was practically tripping over myself to get out of there. I was rushing through those questions as fast as humanly possible because, frankly, I can't stand being poked and prodded by someone trying to "evaluate" my soul. It’s invasive, isn't it?

Lately, I've been trying to find ways to actually feel better—doing the work, seeking the balance—but honestly, it’s hit or miss. Some days are okay, other days they're just... not. That’s pretty much been the whole story of my last few days.

I’m not happy about it, and damn it, it sucks.🙂🤔

Noah Garcia4 said:Well, I see you managed to phrase that quite elegantly to ensure we aren't painting everyone dealing with mental health struggles with the same broad, crazy brush. Kudos to you. It looks like you left quite an impression, too, considering there hasn't been a single reply posted underneath. 🙂

Unfortunately, that's just the way it goes—you have to be blunt about it if you want people to actually listen.🤔

Noah Garcia4 said:Honey, you have no idea😍 what I’ve been witnessing and listening to today—it’s felt completely schizophrenic, honestly. 😬But don't worry, there's plenty of time before all of this finally gets dragged into the spotlight and scrutinized.☕

Honestly, it doesn't matter; I'd actually prefer if the rest of you lot kept the discussion going, because frankly, I am completely underwater right now.🙂

Noah Garcia4 said:The bedrock of any psychiatric assessment is essentially your relationship with your mother.😛
Honestly, I should probably just take my pill right now; Dirac has me completely worked up, and I really need to maintain some semblance of self-control.🙂

I was flipping through this book earlier, and it claims the true definition of a human being is simply "a two-legged creature that lacks gratitude." 🤷

David Vaughn75 said:

Wait, you're actually asking me to write based on just a username? You gotta give me some actual meat to work with here! I can't exactly pull a whole manifesto out of thin air—as much as I’d love to vent about the state of the world today—without knowing what we're even talking about. Lay it on me. What's the topic? Some nonsense happening on the news? A rant about how everything used to be better back in the day? Or maybe some deep dive into why modern life feels like one giant, exhausting glitch? Give me the raw details, even if they're messy, and I'll turn it into something worth reading. I'm ready when you are. kaže:
Honestly, women have always been the smarter ones—not just when it comes to love, but across the board if you actually take a second to look at things. It’s pretty obvious. Every single dictator in history has been a man, which really makes me wonder... what kind of women were they dating? What was going on behind closed doors with those guys?🙂

Let’s be real—history books love to pretend everything was built by guys in powdered wigs, but if you actually look at the scoreboard, women were some of the most powerhouse rulers we've ever seen. I’m talking about the absolute heavyweights like Elizabeth I, Maria Theresa, Catherine the Great, and Queen Victoria. Those women didn't just sit on thrones; they ran the show. Meanwhile, most of those hyper-masculine dictatorships? They usually fold faster than a cheap lawn chair once things get messy. It’s like they build these massive, ego-driven empires that look intimidating on paper, but the second someone applies a little pressure, the whole thing collapses like a house of cards. Real power isn't always about how loud you can yell or how many tanks you have—it's about staying standing when the dust settles. 😬

Well, now you’ve gone and given me something to actually chew on... hmmm... and here I was, under the misguided impression that *I* was the one calling the shots in this relationship. My mistake, clearly.🤣

This isn't even a conversation anymore—we’ve all clearly lost our minds and are just spiraling into madness—anyway, I’m actually about to go take my pill🙂

The truth of the matter is—if we are being honest for once—that women have always possessed a certain wisdom, both in matters of the heart and in life at large. It’s an observable pattern, really. When you look at history, every single tyrant and dictator has been a man... which leaves me wondering, quite frankly, what kind of women were standing by their sides during those dark times?🙂

Noah Garcia4 said:It was actually your "comrades, rally together" speech that gave me the spark I needed.😛

God, how romantic... I’m practically melting over here.😛

Noah Garcia4 said:Sorry if I'm overstepping into your personal business, but why were they prescribing those antipsychotics to you in general?😕

+ today's motivation song 😍

🙂

Seriously? What kind of music is this? You should be ashamed of yourself.😂

rustymaker26 said:Look, I have schizophrenia, and I managed to conquer it through sheer willpower. For twenty-five years, I practiced "trataka"—staring at walls, rearranging the fractured pieces of my own mind every single morning—and now, I’m fine. No antipsychotics, no other pharmaceutical bullshit. To hell with psychiatry, unless you want to spend the rest of your life living like a zombie. Besides, who actually cares if you're having a psychotic break when society itself is completely broken? They don't give a damn—provided you have money and aren't a burden to anyone. You could believe aliens rule the world or talk to yourself on the subway; they won't care about any of it, nor will they care about you. 😁

I mean, props to you for pulling through, really—but let’s be honest: if you saw someone talking to themselves on a crowded subway car, would you actually step up and ask them if they were okay?

When you look at things from that perspective, society has been completely screwed since the dawn of man.

Back when I was actually healthy—and I mean truly fit, not just "getting by"—I used to go out and lose myself in a good laugh quite often; there’s a genuine sense of being cleansed afterward, isn't there? Even now, I still find myself chuckling occasionally—not like some manic lunatic, mind you—but I can't shake this persistent, dull sensation... it sits right there, somewhere between my heart and my brain, making me feel sort of numb, almost as if I've been cast in concrete. I'm not sure if anyone else here has experienced this particular brand of nothingness... it isn't exactly misery, nor is it happiness, but rather this heavy, blunt feeling located deep in my chest instead of in my head.

I’m at that stage where I can still find the irony in things enough to laugh—though it’s a dry, hollow kind of laughter—but the tears? They just won't come.🤷

I feel compelled to clarify something to the masses regarding what we call psychosis. See, people with psychotic, schizoaffective, or schizophrenic disorders are only truly "unstable" during the acute phase of their illness—but once they actually claw their way back to reality, that’s when the real trouble starts. You know the script I'm talking about—those dismissive comments like, "Oh, just ignore him, he's crazy," or "Man, you know Jack used to be such a good kid before he lost it."

And that is precisely when the poor patient—who has just crawled through a literal hellscape, because believe me, true psychosis is a waking nightmare—has to face the second wave of torment: the rejection, the judgment, and the cold shoulders from everyone around them.
Humans are inherently social creatures, and nobody on this planet is immune to the weight of public opinion; whether it's the broad community or just those in your immediate circle, everyone is fundamentally wired to seek validation from others.

So, I have to ask you all: what is actually left for our unfortunate friend once they've regained their senses?

P.S. There are some good souls out there who actually try to help, but more often than not, that support is limited to immediate family and maybe one or two loyal friends—and honestly, more power to them.

Harold Harris20 said:Hey everyone!

I posted here a little while ago, so here’s a quick update on my end: My brother ended up in the hospital back in February and stayed there for about a month. He’s slowly recovering, but his diagnosis was schizoaffective disorder with mania. When he got discharged, his meds were set at a 500mg Zypadhera injection, 300mg Seroquel XR, some Lamictal (not sure of the dose), and Normabel (dosage unknown, plus as needed). It’s been six months now, and honestly, things were okay for maybe ten days after he left, but then they got bad—worse, actually. Now he’s pretty much right back where he was before the hospital, when we couldn't even control his behavior. While he was inpatient, they had him on 600mg of Seroquel, but they lowered it when he was released?
I have to ask again: Is it actually possible for him to be immune to these meds?
The doctor keeps insisting that the injection is ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE for wiping out his symptoms, and since he’s on Seroquel too... it feels like we're just spinning our wheels!!
Every single time I feel like I finally see a glimmer of hope, the next moment just crushes me for the following two months...

Look, anyone paying attention knows how critical medication is, but at the end of the day, the patient's own effort is what carries the weight. If you don't mind me asking, what was your brother doing—what kind of work or activities was he engaged in—when he was feeling stable, and what changed when the downward spiral started?
Speaking as someone living with schizophrenia myself, I’ll tell you straight: life will likely be a bit of an uphill battle for your brother forever, but that isn't the end of the world.
The last time I was hospitalized was way back in 2009, and believe me, that doesn't mean I'm suddenly "fine" or that I don't deal with crises; it’s a constant ebb and flow of better and worse. But after a long struggle with this illness, I managed to find the willpower to forge a path—and more importantly, to find people I can actually get along with.
Ultimately, everything hinges on his own desire to get better—and from what I can see, you are doing absolutely everything within your power to help him.
Don't let go of hope. As time passes, he'll start finding ways—one way or another—to slowly pull himself out of the worst of it, and once he masters that, things will start to feel a little more manageable.

Eric Mitchell55 said:But honestly, it’s not even much of a joke—my psychiatrist actually told me the exact same thing during our last session. 🤣😍

The point is, I've been dealing with various psychiatrists for so long now that I've basically inherited their twisted, dark sense of humor. 😂

Eric Mitchell55 said:I'll let her know. I'm heading in this Monday, and then we won't see each other for at least a month since she's going on vacation. Yay, life. ☕

But seriously, if you find yourself actually missing those doctors during her month-long hiatus, you can always just check yourself into the ward...🤣

Just kidding, mostly.🙂

Eric Mitchell55 said:Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from. It sounds so straightforward when I read it written out like that, but actually living it is a whole different story. I guess hopefully things will get a little easier as I get older and learn how to manage my own headspace a bit better.

I definitely agree with that. My psychiatrist is actually starting to slowly taper my antipsychotics, and as much as that makes me happy, I can't help but feel this weird tension in my head. I'm just constantly worried about whether this change might make everything worse.🤷

Well, then you ought to tell her exactly that—because if you're sitting there feeling gripped by anxiety or dread, then whatever she's doing isn't working.

Noah Garcia4 said:🙏 🙏 🤣

And I ended up having to call an Uber because they wouldn't let me on the city bus—apparently, they were reading my mind or some such nonsense.🙂

Alexis said:Almost all of those episodes happened while I was staying strictly on my medication—meaning, pretty much every single one except for just one instance.

I honestly know so many people who try to talk their doctors into tapering off their meds because they start feeling "fine"—only to find themselves back in the psychiatric ward at a local hospital a month later. It’s a cycle. It doesn't really matter what the specific dosage looks like—what matters is being absolutely, undeniably certain that you are actually stable.