Posts by Larry Lewis

Eric Mitchell55 said:To be honest, I’m still trying to wrap my head around what actually happened versus what was just in my head. I feel pretty lost right now, if I'm being real.
And then there's that awful stigma hanging over everything...

Ugh, whatever.

Look, you have to wrap your head around the fact that all those delusions—all that mental looping—are just symptoms of the illness. Period. You have to accept that, clear the air with yourself, and stop giving those thoughts any weight—don't fall into the trap of thinking they're some sort of "message" or that you've stumbled upon some secret truth that nobody else can see, if you catch my drift.

Noah Garcia4 said:But look, if you’ve already processed all of this, then the next time it starts creeping in, you’ll actually recognize the patterns and realize it isn't reality—unless, of course, something entirely new pops up. And maybe it won't.🙂
I suspect that once you fully accept that you weren't actually dispatched to Earth by extraterrestrials, the cycle will stop repeating itself; however, as long as that tiny doubt lingers—that "maybe I'm just fantasizing, or maybe it's actually happening"—it’s incredibly easy to fall right back into it.

So, you have to be smart about it when everyone else is busy debating whether aliens are real, pointing to grainy footage, or claiming they're kidnapping people...

In the end, you’re going to have to manage this on your own without some magic wand or a quick fix from medication.

(And for the record, I'm calling out anyone who thinks someone dealing with psychosis can't maintain self-control. ) ☕

I remember this one time—I was right in the thick of a massive psychotic break—and I actually called an Uber to take me to a psychiatric ward in Portland... except, here's the kicker, I wasn't even out of the house; I was just sitting there alone while my family was away on vacation at the coast. I had turned off my phone because I was absolutely convinced the feds were tapping my line—just one symptom after another—until it finally clicked that I needed professional help. And I didn't want to leave the house to go out and pick a fight with someone or cause a scene; I just knew I needed to be admitted.🙂

Eric Mitchell55 said:Well, let's see... just this past year, back at the start of it, I felt like I was being targeted by aliens. It sounds wild, but people were following me everywhere—literally all over town. I ended up refusing to leave my room because I had pulled the curtains shut, trying to hide from everyone watching me. I was convinced my own family was tampering with my food and water, which led to some pretty bad dehydration, but I wouldn't let them take me to the hospital. I wouldn't even touch my laptop because it felt too dangerous, and I was terrified that if the TV was on, I’d catch some kind of secret message through the screen, so I kept it turned off and covered with a sheet just to be safe.
In the end, I wound up in a psych ward on a locked unit, blah, blah, blah.

I honestly feel so incredibly alone right now. It feels like nobody understands what I'm going through, and no one seems to have any answers. I'm just stuck.

I've dealt with plenty of similar nonsense in my own head, and believe me, I know how miserable it feels. That sounds like a textbook psychotic break, and in those moments, getting yourself into a hospital is truly the best move you can make.
Since you mentioned these episodes happen repeatedly, I wanted to ask—were you stopping your medication? As much as it might sound ridiculous, it would almost be better if these episodes were caused by missing doses rather than happening despite being on them.

I read somewhere—or maybe someone told me, it's hard to remember—that as people get older, they tend to handle mental health struggles a bit more effectively, and looking at my own life, I think there's some truth to that.
Don't hold it against your friends if they don't "get" it; most of them aren't mature enough to wrap their heads around this stuff anyway.
Believe me, I'm sure plenty of people want to help you, they just don't know how—and frankly, I don't even know what to write to make things easier for you, since I struggle with this same affliction myself.

If I can offer just one piece of advice, it's to stay far away from alcohol and drugs. I hope that sounds redundant, but I know how easy it is to stumble into that scene with people your age, so I felt compelled to say it.

Eric Mitchell55 said:I have a bit of a question here, and I’m hoping someone can relate.
People close to me, including my boyfriend, keep asking how they should actually react when I’m going through one of those "episodes"—basically, what's the best way to handle me when I get caught up in something intense. Honestly, I never know how to answer them.
What am I supposed to tell them to do? How should they behave?
Should they just drive me crazy or tie me to the bed? Because, if I'm being real, that's usually how things end up anyway. 😢

But what exactly do you mean by "getting hit"? Give me some context here—because when it happens to me, I don't exactly check myself into a psych ward immediately.

Noah Garcia4 said:From where I'm sitting, it feels like you eventually have to pivot your focus inward, otherwise you're just going to spend your whole life running headfirst into a brick wall. And honestly, prioritizing yourself doesn't mean shutting others out—if anything, it usually makes your relationships much healthier.

Thank God I haven't had to deal with that particular brand of coping mechanism myself. ☕

It improves things with the people who have always truly cared about you. As for those who only know you on a surface level—the ones who see the diagnosis and immediately label you as "unstable"—well, they’re always going to look at you through that lens regardless.

A friend of mine tried to offer me a job recently—along with this group of his buddies I know—and they all turned him down right in front of my face. But get this: when I mentioned I was heading in for a vocational assessment, those exact same people were suddenly telling me *not* to go. It was surreal.

And, of course, it goes without saying that neither then nor now have I given any of them a second glance. Not worth the energy.

EDIT: Their usual line was always "don't bother asking me for a job" because, in their minds, no one with schizophrenia can hold down a position. Yet, once they heard about the official work capacity evaluation, they pivoted to claiming I was just "giving up." Typical.

If you ask me, most people are pretty selfish when it comes to chasing their own quality of life—though, granted, there are plenty who just don't bother at all.

Now, if it were up to me—and I mean, if I actually had the agency—I’d probably indulge in some weed and a few drinks every now and then. Not a daily thing, mind you, but it isn't the end of the world; as for anything else, absolutely not.

But my main point was regarding >—she’s still just a kid, really, and her character hasn't even fully formed yet. She's dealing with some intense symptoms and is clearly lost in it all, because let's be honest, it’s a completely different beast whether you're facing a sickness at 14 or at 24.

Noah Garcia4 said:This feels sweet, Blueberry, almost like the good old days 😘 🙂 ☕

Just focus on staying steady yourself; that’s what will help our sisterhood the most.

Blue evil😛🤣

I intend to remain steadfast—though, truth be told, she’s got more strength in her than I do, and I have nothing but absolute faith in her.

A little something for anyone currently struggling through the grind

Noah Garcia4 said:That’s essentially how I experienced it personally. Back when I was in a darker headspace, if anyone pointed out that I was reacting poorly or overreacting, my immediate instinct was to get defensive and upset.
Nowadays, if someone gently suggests, "Hey, that might not be what they meant," or "Hold on a second," I can actually take it. I’ve learned to accept constructive criticism without letting it hit me where it hurts, and then I just move on.

I feel for you too, Larry. 😢 I really hope this is just a minor setback and that everything turns out okay. 🙂

Thanks, Blueberry, that truly means a lot to me.😘

Kevin Nguyen3, you’re absolutely right—group therapy was a total lifesaver for me back when my social life was a complete train wreck

Eric Mitchell55 said:I’m still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I'll be on medication for the rest of my life. It’s heavy, knowing I’ll be managing this condition indefinitely, just constantly hoping to stay in remission for as long as possible. Looking back at the stretch between age 14 and 19, I went through six episodes—which works out to a little over one episode per year on average.
Lately, I feel so disconnected from myself. I struggle to trust people, I find it hard to believe what I see right in front of me, and I definitely don't trust what I hear. Everything just feels... surreal, like nothing is quite real.
To be honest, I’m scared of what life has in store.

Dear Alexis, please don't be afraid. Most of us have walked this path—it's just that you were hit by it while you were still a child, and that makes the weight so much heavier to carry.
If things are truly as bleak as you say, then yes, there is a long road ahead—but it's an uphill climb toward recovery, so fight it any way you see fit, or at the very least, just don't let the darkness swallow you whole.
Believe me, I feel that fear too, and plenty of other people do as well; you aren't alone in this.

In fact, I just found out today that my sister is back in the hospital after being in remission for a long time—my heart is just aching, and I'm praying to God that it doesn't spiral into schizophrenia. My parents won't tell me anything because they don't want to upset me, and so it goes... you really aren't the only one.

Honestly, everything I wanted to say was just this: I know what you're going through, and I truly empathize with you, if that means anything at all.

Kevin Nguyen3 said:I know you know. But when did you find out? Once you answer, you'll realize there was once a time when you didn't. I highly doubt you figured this out through some online research or similar methods. No, you learned over time that this is who you are... and you'll always be learning, though you'll never truly be certain that the learning is complete.
There's still this lingering question hanging in the air... why do you think no one can understand you as a human being? On what basis do you claim that?🤷
Life isn't a lottery or some game of chance; you live the life you build for yourself. If you haven't built it the way you envisioned or desired... well, you go chasing luck. Fine, I can accept that, especially if you actually understood it.
Regarding that settled Bear, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm sure you two know the story. I refuse to write about things I don't understand.😉

Look, I know you have a desperate need to be right.
Regarding what the Bear mentioned—maybe try scrolling back through a few pages and you'll catch up.

I stopped grasping at luck a long time ago.

It’s a bit arrogant, don't you think? To tell people they've "realized" something or haven't—considering I don't know you and you certainly don't know me.

Stop playing the part of the concerned soul-searcher and go focus on math or physics instead; clearly, dealing with people isn't your forte.🤷

Sean Smith39 said:Alright, my bad if I rubbed you the wrong way 🙂.

Don't even worry about it, man☕.

Lawrence Hill6 said:First off—someone struggling with schizophrenia is fully aware of what they’re doing. They act, but the people around them just don't see it. Then, being shut out by society pushes them toward an edge—they feel this desperate need to prove they can be the "bad guy," even though they've spent their whole lives fighting not to go there. Meanwhile, the government has endless money for nonsense I won't even bother listing... we really need a New York Times or a Wall Street Journal to actually cover this;;;;;
Sorry if this comes off aggressive—not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, just looking at the facts...

Look, man, I’m asking you nicely—please, just move on from this topic, brother.

Kevin Nguyen3 said:You know, you’re actually missing the mark on several fundamental points here. The real issue is that people—and I mean people in general—don't actually know themselves or what's truly eating at them. That is precisely why they seek help; they want someone to finally define who they are and offer them an alternative path.
How can you possibly claim that no one will understand you?
It really depends on how you define "understand," doesn't it?
The reality is that modern psychiatry has made massive strides in both knowledge and actual comprehension.
And honestly, luck in love has nothing to do with it. Happiness is simply the result of what you build today—whether it's for tomorrow or what you did yesterday for today.
I am not looking for anyone to exploit (it hasn't even crossed my mind, frankly).
I have no idea what you're basing this whole "brainwashed" argument on.☕

Good grief—if I can't figure out what's eating at you, then honestly, who on earth could? I know exactly what’s going on here.
It’s a plain truth—people come to this forum because they’re looking for a lifeline, and honestly, if someone actually manages to lend them a hand, even just a little bit, then credit where credit is due—kudos to them.

It’s one of those things that really gets under my skin—this modern tendency to see a collection of symptoms instead of seeing the actual person standing right in front of you. You walk into a clinic, and instead of being treated like a human being with a life, fears, and a history, you’re suddenly just a walking list of diagnostic codes and physiological malfunctions. It’s clinical, it’s cold, and frankly, it’s exhausting. I remember back when my old neighbor down in Chicago used to get sick; people actually sat with him, listened to his stories, and understood that the fever was only half the battle—the other half was the toll it took on his spirit. But now? Everything is so detached. We’ve become experts at deciphering a lab report while completely failing to comprehend the soul behind the illness. It’s a tragic sort of myopia—treating the malfunction while ignoring the man.

For me—if I’m being honest, which is a rare occurrence in this weary world—true happiness only ever exists within the realm of love. It’s the only thing that holds any weight. Whether that’s a devotion to one's career, a deep affection for a partner, or even just the simple, grounding bond with a dog... it all counts. But if you really peel back the layers—and believe me, I have spent many long, cynical nights doing exactly that—the most vital kind of love is the one you hold for yourself. Without that foundation, everything else is just... well, it's just noise.

Remind me again—when exactly did that Bear tell me that he’d only just realized humans are complete idiots? He was questioning whether his own little brain wasn't at least a bit foggy, if not outright washed clean... honestly, I can't quite recall the specifics of that conversation—it was such a strange, rambling exchange—but the sentiment remains etched in my mind.

Sean Smith39 said:Look, I don't have an issue with reading—I actually love it—but I wanted to hear from you guys about what specific symptoms we're actually talking about here. 🙂 You can find all sorts of definitions online—honestly, I’d almost prefer an answer from someone who’s completely lost their grip on reality—if that’s even possible. I'm new here, so I'm looking to meet as many people as I can. 🙂 .

And you went looking for the schizo-crowds just to make friends? Talk about twisted... okay, just kidding 🙂.

I feel like we've touched on this over a few pages now, but I wanted to be blunt with you—we don't exactly love discussing this stuff here—well, at least I don't.

Noah Garcia4 said:Are you suggesting that schizophrenics are specifically difficult to comprehend, or are you making a broader, more cynical observation about the human race in general?

The whole species, I suppose.🤷

ruggedtinker9 said:There is no such thing as a cure for schizophrenia. I might believe these professionals when they actually manage to heal someone, rather than merely masking the symptoms with medication.

http://youtu.be/o1AEbuRR4jw

p.s. I don't personally consider myself to have ever been ill, nor do I believe I possess some sort of disease. I simply possessed a different perception of reality. Since I am the only one who truly knows what I experienced, no one else can claim to understand. I have no desire to engage with this topic or this forum anymore, as it seems most people here have been completely brainwashed.

Only you truly know your own mind, and believe me, nobody is ever going to fully understand you—unless, if you're incredibly lucky, someone manages to love you regardless.

As for the forum and the "brainwashed" crowd, I'll tell you this: just like everywhere else on the internet, everyone here is just looking for something to consume.

Sean Smith39 said:What are the actual symptoms of schizophrenia? Who usually gets hit by this—and is it more common in men or women? Thanks in advance for any info.

Ever heard of Google? Honestly, just dig through the archives and read the previous posts.🙂

David Vaughn75 said:Finally—the guy actually figured it out. It only took him this long to realize that most people are just absolute idiots. 😍

I’d be shocked if I weren't so used to it.☕