Posts by Larry Lewis

Eric Mitchell55 said:I’ve actually seen both of them! I can't believe it didn't cross my mind sooner. 🙂
Thanks so much, 🙂

Don't play games with me, kid.
😛

Robin Lopez2 said:Tell them to watch the movie "Genius Mind".

Honestly, living on the edge—well, above the coward's nest, if you will—might actually be the better path... it carries a much more powerful message in my book.

Eric Mitchell55 said:Hey there, my dear Sizina crew, your friend Sizina has a quick question for you all 😍

If you were talking to someone who has absolutely no clue what our condition is actually like, how would you explain what’s going on with us using your own words?

Thanks so much, sending my best to everyone.

For me, it’s pretty straightforward, though I probably shouldn't get into the weeds here—besides, it isn't exactly some riveting tale worth telling.

ironrider11 said:Fertility glasses? 😁

Come on now—don't go throwing all that gloom my way—we Sizina folks are sensitive souls, you know.🙂

Harold Harris20 said:Aha, he’s using X in combination with Zypadhera injections.
I’ll just focus on the last two years since that’s when we lost our dad, and honestly, his condition seems to have spiraled since then.
First, he decided to quit Risperdal on his own. He’d been on it for years but absolutely hated it—complained it didn't work and made him gain weight, blah blah blah. He went off his meds for two months without us knowing, and we only found out when he told us he was terrified and needed a hospital. It was only then I realized he'd stopped everything. He tried getting back on it, but nothing has worked quite right since. At the start of this year, he ended up hospitalized because he had these episodes lasting about 3 or 4 months: intense anxiety, being verbally aggressive, overanalyzing every little thing, thinking he was getting messages through the TV, extreme paranoia... he even kicked people out of our yard because he thought they were there to spy on him. After spending two months in the hospital, they stabilized him by dropping his Seroquel to 300mg plus an injection, but just eight days later, things took a turn for the worse again. About a month ago, he was almost back to where he was before the hospital, so they bumped his Seroquel up to 600mg. Now, day-to-day, he’s still constantly restless. He mostly just stays in his room or comes downstairs to smoke and then starts, how should I put this, "venting"... yelling at people on the TV, or obsessively analyzing religious stuff (like seeing nuns at the local grocery store, which makes zero sense), plus all these other random connections I can't follow. He’s also still mildly aggressive toward my mom, calling her "crazy" or "stupid" and things like that. Then he’ll calm down for a bit, only for it to all start over the next day... though he does sleep great...

He sounds like a really difficult case, unfortunately. I was in a similar headspace for maybe a month myself, and you have no idea how long it took me to feel remotely normal again.

I honestly don't know what to tell you.

It’s quite simple, really—you just love the feel of it, and there isn't much else to say about it.🤷

Harold Harris20 said:I'm honestly just so stressed out over his meds... that's why I keep asking. About ten days ago, he jumped from 300mg to 600mg of Seroquel, and while he seems a tiny bit calmer now, he's still having episodes every single day.

The ceiling for Seroquel is actually 1200mg, though that’s usually for the X version—I'm not entirely certain about the standard release.

If you don't mind me asking—and please tell me to shut up if this is too intrusive—could you describe what these episodes actually look like?

I honestly don't even know what to say—I am truly, deeply sorry for you.😢

Harold Harris20 said:He's a completely different person now. It’s like the brother I used to have just... died. Honestly, you guys seem so much better to deal with here, probably just because you actually write things out and communicate...

Look, we sit around here complaining and joking, sure, but we’re all dealing with our own messes and fighting our own battles against illness. Have you seen the posts from our friend Diego? He’s hitting a rough patch right now, but he’s been through this before—he pulled himself out then because he had the will, and he’ll do it again.

Someone really needs to reach him somehow; it’s honestly heartbreaking to see a young guy suffering like this. But—and I say this with all due respect—while you guys can help a little, I truly believe he has the capacity to make a massive turnaround. He just needs that moment of clarity, that realization... and God knows that’s the hardest part. Once he starts, he’s going to stumble—he’ll fall hard, more often than not—but falling is infinitely better than just sinking into the abyss of this sickness.

Harold Harris20 said:He’s really just drifting through life, you know? No interest in anything at all—no friends, nothing. We even moved to a new city where we don't know a single soul. He’s been struggling for about ten years now, and since then, he’s had zero social life, no girlfriend, no sex, no hobbies... just total isolation. 🙂

I had a feeling that was the case. It all rests on his shoulders—he knows it, too—but he simply refuses to face the music.

David Vaughn75 said:Everyone keeps preaching about how Seroquel is some kind of miracle drug... like it’s got the fewest side effects out there

For me, it’s actually been a lifesaver—I’ve finally found some stability since starting it, which is saying something considering I’ve cycled through about a million different antipsychotics over the years.

Harold Harris20 said:What doses of Seroquel are you guys on? And how many times have you had to switch up your meds over the last five years? My brother went from 300 up to Seroquel 600, and he was doing great for five days before things crashed again.

So, how is your brother actually holding up day-to-day? Is he seeing anyone?

Diego, man, please don't do anything drastic. I truly get what you're going through—I've been in those exact trenches myself, and honestly, I’m still wading through some of it today—but I refuse to let it break me. Just this past Friday, I found myself at this social gathering where I didn't know a soul... a complete sea of strangers. I dropped a few subtle hints about my mental health struggles just to test the waters—you know, to pave the way so that if I slip up or act a little "off," people might be a bit more understanding—but then, out of pure, stubborn spite, I decided to drink. And I didn't just sip, either. You know what happened next? For about forty-five minutes, I was absolutely the life of the party. I was holding court, cracking jokes I didn't even think I had the wit to pull off, and I even managed to charm this gorgeous girl. But look, the drinking isn't the point here. The point is that I’ve started making a conscious effort to step into the spotlight when I'm out. Even when my head is spinning with all sorts of absolute garbage thoughts, I force myself to engage, to talk, to laugh... and believe me, people notice that effort. It's real. Even today, an acquaintance reached out and offered me a gig working in a warehouse—the manager there actually knows me now, which wasn't the case before. Believe me when I say you are capable of so much more than your current headspace is telling you right now. I'm not out here trying to conquer the world or achieve these massive milestones that everyone else seems to take for granted, but for me? These small victories feel monumental. I am going to push myself as hard as I can, even if my brain feels like it's going to explode in the process.
Hang in there!

David Vaughn75 said:Empty?

Yeah, Seroquel

Robin Lopez2 said:A few years back, there was a psychiatry symposium held down on the coast with the theme "Soul and Spirit." My gut told me right then that it was a terrible topic for a group of psychiatrists to tackle; they don't have the slightest clue about the soul or the spirit. They know nothing about it.

Even Jane wouldn't know anything about that, which is probably why she managed to scrape by through those three installments.🧐

The bio was actually decent—enough to land me another hundred bucks worth of therapy sessions☕

Eric Mitchell55 said:Standing alone against the crowd doesn't mean you've lost your mind. There’s a fundamental difference between what's true and what's just noise; if you're sticking to the facts, even if it feels like the whole world is looking at you sideways, you aren't crazy.

Amen!

The problem is, history shows us that those who cling to the truth often end up crucified for it.

Very few people actually have the spine to swim against the current. Sure, we all like to think we have our own little opinions—I certainly do, usually while nursing a lukewarm coffee and staring at the news—but going against the grain? That’s a hard sell. Most of us might grumble here or there, but once the status quo makes its move, most of us just fold and accept it, eventually. It's a survival instinct, I suppose, though a cowardly one.
Most of us are nothing more than harmless chatterboxes.

David Vaughn75 said:I’m honestly starting to wonder if I’m way too late to let the crew know I’ve been dealing with schizophrenia😢

It hit me about 7 years ago

Look, you can tell them if you want, but there's really no obligation—it all depends on the vibe of the group and just what kind of people you're dealing with.
Don't lose sleep over it; it's that same heavy, nagging feeling you get when something is weighing on your soul but you feel like you can't find the right moment to speak up.
And frankly—if I'm being honest—there's a certain, strange sort of satisfaction in keeping that diagnosis to yourself... just sitting there among the crowd, playing the part perfectly, while everyone else thinks you're just your usual self.😂

I’ve reached a point where my tolerance for absolute nonsense has hit zero—and frankly, I couldn't care less who finds that attitude abrasive. It might sound arrogant, but that’s just the reality of where I am right now.

At the end of the day, my priority is simply staying sane and protecting my own peace of mind.

I do have a small circle of people I’m close with—people who actually know about my diagnosis and all the complications that come with it.

I was never the type to go around making instant friends; even when I was a kid growing up in Chicago, I always kept my distance.

It was a hard pill to swallow back when I first got sick years ago—I lost almost everyone I used to call a friend, and I’ll admit that hit me hard. But honestly? These days, I don't give a damn who avoids me or what kind of gossip they're spreading behind my back. I'm not claiming to be any better than anyone else, but if you're decent to me when we're talking face-to-face, then I'll be decent to you, and we'll call it even.

David Vaughn75 said:When you're dealing with anxiety, you've gotta stay busy with something, anything, to keep your head above water.

You know how they say it—idle hands are the devil's workshop.

I hear you.
Exercise helps me quite a bit, though it’s a struggle—I wake up most mornings and the anxiety just hits me like a freight train, and then I’m immediately reaching for my 0.5 Xanax and 50mg Faverin just to level out; once those kick in, I can finally sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee in peace.

The real kicker is that this anxiety can push me toward these ultra-light psychotic episodes—but since I'm already on antipsychotic medication, I can't really increase the dosage.

It is incredibly frustrating when you feel this way without any clear reason; you can try to think positive or whatever people suggest, but honestly, sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and endure it—there isn't much else to be done.