vividnomad2 said:Life is essentially an exercise in enduring hardship, and we simply have to find our own ways to navigate that reality—however skillfully or clumsily we might manage it—because, at the end of the day, that's just the way the world works. 😍
Sure, though if you're looking for that light at the end of the tunnel, you should probably watch out for the freight train coming right at you.🙂
You know that feeling—that nagging anxiety where you’re actually enjoying yourself for once, but you’re terrified of overdoing it and completely blowing the whole thing? It's like walking a tightrope where one wrong move ruins the entire vibe. Honestly, I’ve been scrolling through these depressing threads on the forum lately, and man... it hits hard. It isn't just me; even the folks posting here are clearly going through it. It’s tough out there.😢
The doctor tells me I had all the hallmarks of schizophrenia—though apparently, now that the symptoms have cleared, my intrusive thoughts are just the lingering echoes of what used to be a full-blown illness. Honestly, why don't you whip up a little cocktail for yourself too? It's high time you felt better; I'm sure you've had more than enough of this nonsense lately. Yesterday, a few friends were hitting me up to go grab some drinks, but I told them I was broke and couldn't make it. I mean, I really can't justify spending money on booze when I'm already paying so much for these meds, even if the idea sounded pretty damn tempting at the time.🙂
Chris, where on earth have you vanished?! Don't let this thread die out on us—give us a sign, or at least have someone shout your name so we know you're still lurking somewhere🙂don't go getting all worked up now, I’m just messing with you—you know how my brain works, it's a bit of a chaotic mess most days and I can hardly keep my own thoughts straight sometimes🙂
My folks are actually pretty great now—but only after I ended up in the hospital. Honestly, even before that stint, we were struggling to see eye to eye, and things were... let's just say "tense" would be an understatement. But once everything went down at the clinic, something shifted. It’s like a fog lifted. Now? We’re on excellent terms, truly. I’ve decided I’m never moving out of the house—I'll be under their roof forever. hehe
feralowl said:Now we're getting somewhere. Finally, some actual positivity.👍 I'll try to frame it carefully so nobody takes offense—maybe suggest the older folks accompany him instead—but since you mentioned you were behind the wheel too, I guess I won't spiral out too much.
Look, I drove for years—decades, really—but I don't own a car these days, so I'm not out on the road. If I had a vehicle, I'd be driving, plain and simple.🙂
Chris, how are you holding up? Did those ridiculous voices finally quiet down? 🙂I’m doing alright, I suppose—fairly steady, actually. I just finished up an appointment with my doctor to get my prescriptions sorted, and things feel much more settled now. Honestly, if I’m being truthful, I think that antidepressant I’ve been on is doing most of the heavy lifting for me. Anyway, hang in there and try to enjoy yourself a bit.
feralowl said:Thanks for the replies😉 I’d love to do that, really... but back when we were getting divorced, I was tracking every single little thing that went wrong and reporting it all to Child Protective Services. And because of that, my ex ended up stuck in mandatory psychiatric treatment for three years.😲 It was a total nightmare. His family completely cut ties with our kids, and we didn't have any contact for those three years. It absolutely wrecked the children. Now, we finally get along reasonably well, but they’re the type where I have to watch every single word I say, otherwise it’s the same old story all over again. And honestly? You can't even have a basic conversation with them because they take everything as a personal attack.🤷
He was out there getting his driver's license in the States at sixteen, so he wasn't exactly "sick" back then, right? Now he's pushing forty... He seems fine enough for what he can handle, but still... what can you really tell?
Look, I’ve driven a car just fine while dealing with schizophrenia myself, but that's just my experience. I get why you don't want to rock the boat, I truly do—but if I were in your shoes, I’d still insist that he picks up the kids along with their parents. But hey, that's just my two cents.
For me, weed is actually quite alright—provided I’m not touching alcohol at all. It leaves me feeling pleasant and centered; I stay calm, and I rarely find myself crashing out in bed unexpectedly—though, admittedly, there have been those nights where I certainly have. My main gripe? The price tag is just astronomical these days. Plus, I have this lingering anxiety about overdoing it because of my various prescriptions. All things considered, though, it's a much better alternative than booze.
I’ve recently gone back on antidepressants—though, frankly, my bouts of depression haven't been nearly as crushing as yours seem to be. How am I managing? Well, I find myself constantly rushing over to my doctor's office just to get my refills🙂
Whenever the darkness really takes hold, I feel like I’m sinking... I can't seem to pull myself out of it on my own. The absolute worst part is this internal pressure—it feels like there's ten tons of lead sitting right on my heart, crushing the life out of me
Look, I’ve personally taken no more than two-thirds of the dose—multiple times, actually—and honestly? It felt incredible every single time. I never once felt like I was being played or misled by the high, but somehow... despite all that, I still ended up losing my absolute mind.
velvetsailor26 said:How am I supposed to try harder? Believe me, I’ve been grinding and fighting this uphill battle for four years now, and if I’m being honest, it feels like things are only getting worse. I honestly don't know what I should do to stop being so afraid of people.
Poor thing... I don't even know what to tell you. Maybe try punching someone you're afraid of in the nose? Who knows, maybe that'll clear your head.🙂
But seriously... look, you have a million different medications out there to choose from. It's entirely possible that the stuff you're currently taking just isn't doing the job.
It’s honestly exhausting—having to perform this daily audit of my own physical failures—measuring exactly how much I’ve declined versus how much I can still manage. People who aren't dealing with chronic issues don't even have to think about it; they just exist, blissfully unaware of the mechanics of their own bodies. Sometimes I find myself spiraling into this thought—this strange, heavy idea—that if I could just somehow wipe the slate clean and forget every medical setback I've endured, I might actually feel healthy again, rather than stuck in this constant state of being "unwell." Instead, every single morning, before I've even had my first cup of coffee, the very first thing that hits me is the crushing realization of just how sick I really am.😢
velvetsailor26 said:I finally got prescribed Klonopin for the anxiety since Lexapro just wasn't doing the trick for me. Now I’m stuck balancing 2.5mg of Zyprexa with 0.5mg doses of Klonopin three times a day, plus whenever things get really bad. I had to pull the plug on Solian, too, because it completely trashed my hormones, which was a real blow. At this point, I’m just holding out hope that things actually start looking up for me soon.
Things will get better, truly, but you can't just rely on the pills alone—you've got to put in some work on your end, too.😉
So, looks like Herc is feeling a bit under the weather—nothing too catastrophic, really—but I’d say just start getting those runs in once the weather finally decides to break and warms up a little bit.😉