It’s funny—really funny, in a dark sort of way—how it takes a serious bout of illness to finally strip away the noise and show you what actually matters. You start seeing the real stuff—love, genuine empathy, basic human kindness—stuff we usually ignore when we're busy chasing nothing. I’ll admit, there are days when I look at people who live entirely within the bubble of their own egos—blissfully unaware and completely self-absorbed—and I feel a twinge of envy. It must be easy, right? But then again... I don't regret my own path. Not really. Even the hard parts, they leave their mark on you—they shape you, carve out the person you eventually become. So, if you're currently going through the wringer, if you're fighting your own battle right now: don't let them break you. Don't give in. You only get one shot at this life, and despite all the nonsense and misery in this world, I refuse to believe that life isn't fundamentally beautiful.
I honestly don’t know how you do it, vividnomad2—I really don't. Personally, I am prepared to interrogate my own soul until I hit a wall of pure madness if that’s what it takes. I have to understand the inner workings of my own mind... because right now, I feel like I’m stuck in a coma, just white-knuckling my way through the days. And let me tell you, that isn't going to cut it. I don't want to just exist; I actually want to *live*.
Anyway, it’s getting late and I’ve been spiraling into my own little delusions—mostly just "peace and love, not war" type of nonsense, you know?🙂
fadedbear92 said:Wait, which betas are we talking about now?🤷
Oh, please—as if she’s actually taking that stuff... honestly, I should probably be the one to tell her to stop playing games with it. It’s exhausting, really—you feel like you have to teach everyone everything these days.🙂
p.s. I misquoted you there, fadedbear92—my mistake, I'll take the blame for that one.🙂
A friend of mine has been asking around about beta blockers—apparently she thinks they’ll help her out whenever she performs (she plays the violin)... I mean, what kind of anxiety or nerves are we even talking about here?
Oh, please... I’ll probably be looking for someone new myself down the line—and honestly? I could use a good long talk with her, maybe even a little course correction in my own therapy sessions, because let’s face it—I’m far from being in peak mental shape either.
So, you’re still hearing them today, too? Honestly—and I say this with zero judgment, just pure pragmatism—maybe it’s time to talk to your doctor about bumping up that antipsychotic dosage. It might actually help quiet things down. My best advice? Get yourself an appointment with your physician as soon as possible. Just get it handled.
I can certainly imagine that isn’t exactly a pleasant way to live—it sounds exhausting. I don't know... I've actually had people tell me that talking back to the voices helps them cope, though, if I'm being honest, that always struck me as a bit nonsensical—so I'm really at a loss for how to offer any actual support here. All I know is that when I experienced those auditory hallucinations myself, even for just half an hour, I was ready to lose my mind—I ended up pacing the halls of the hospital like a total lunatic, just screaming to get it out. So, truly, I have a massive amount of respect for how you manage to carry yourself with such composure through all this.
It’s quite clear to me that you’re absolutely obsessed with your health lately🙂why don't you go get a checkup, you lazy bum... but seriously, it would probably be a good idea to schedule an appointment with your doctor
vividnomad2 said:I’ve never been the type of person to lecture a stranger on what they should be sipping, but honestly, if they want to go for it, that's perfectly fine by me. =) The hallucinations have started creeping back in again, and honestly, I’m losing my mind. It is beyond frustrating because they are constantly getting under my skin, but the worst part is that I can't even grab a drink to take the edge off. Ugh. 👎
Hang in there, buddy—this too shall pass. Honestly, I don't even care if this guy talks trash about me; people can be such absolute nightmares sometimes, you wouldn't believe it. Have you thought about bumping up your medication dosage a bit? Maybe that might help dial down those hallucinations.
mellowtiger24 said:I’m just jumping into this thread today, and honestly, I am reaching out because I could really use some guidance from anyone who’s been through something similar. My favorite aunt was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and apparently, she was hospitalized back in '92, but from then on until just about a month ago, things seemed totally stable. But now, everything has just fallen apart; she stopped taking her medication, demanded a divorce from her husband, grabbed whatever cash she could, and just vanished. The hardest part for me is figuring out how to even talk to her, because the second I say anything that doesn't go her way, the conversation is dead in its tracks. It feels like walking on eggshells. Right now, she's convinced that Mexicans are out to get her—no offense intended to anyone here, by the way—she’s claiming she’s pregnant, and she’s developed this massive crush on Tarik Filipović.
You absolutely have to get her to a doctor immediately to get her back on her meds—and please, for your own sanity, don't view her current behavior as "her" making choices; you have to attribute everything she's doing directly to the illness.
Yesterday someone had the nerve to ask if I wanted to go out drinking—can you believe the audacity?—and I told them straight to their face: absolutely not. I’m on a strict regimen of medications right now, and frankly, I don't care what anyone thinks. It's my life, after all; neither my parents nor anyone else can tell me how to manage my health.🙂
I swear, I am honestly reaching my breaking point—I might just start telling people I have schizophrenia just to get them off my back because I've had absolutely enough. 🙂The only time I actually feel sane is hanging out with my crew over in a quiet suburb outside of Chicago.
goldeneagle8 said:Man, if you guys are actually schizophrenic, then I’m just straight-up anxious... please don't scare the hell out of me...
But alright, for real though.... how do you even tell the difference when you're spiraling through symptoms thinking you might have schizophrenia versus when you actually have it?
Like, say you get that feeling that someone is following you (maybe they are??).... or someone walks past on the sidewalk and you're convinced they're laughing at you (which happens—I mean, I laugh at people all the time when they walk by, so why wouldn't they?)
Am I losing my mind or what?
Who knows? Just go get checked out; it won't cost you anything to find out.☕
Have you finally realized that you and I are basically the only two lunatics left on this entire thread? But honestly, that doesn't even depress me—it’s almost liberating, really. If anything, it just makes me wonder why the hell life hasn't finished us off yet 🙂
Matthew Lee65 said:haha yeah, I know😁 but do you drink caffeine while on AD? My psychiatrist told me to cut it out while taking AD... and it's actually listed in the pill's instructions too...
I'm back on antidepressants again after a bit of a break. The last thing I was taking was Wellbutrin. And you know what? Since I don't touch alcohol and I don't smoke weed, I figure I should at least be allowed to have a damn cup of coffee, right? 🙂
My doctor did mention that cigarettes can dampen the effects of antipsychotics, though I'm honestly not sure if that goes for antidepressants too.
Look, vividnomad2—when life hands you nothing but lemons, you might as well squeeze them into a damn fine lemonade. Honestly, watching you tackle apartment cleaning while riding the crest of a manic wave... it’s actually quite impressive, in its own chaotic way.🙂
Matthew Lee65 said:Alcohol isn't even my main issue, though I'll admit a cold beer hits the spot once in a while. But when I'm overdoing it on pills to deal with the drinking, and pairing that with ADHD meds... that's a different story. Honestly, the hardest part is giving up Coke because of the caffeine; apparently, it just amplifies the depressive effects when you mix it with stimulants. It’s a mess. The other day, I accidentally ate a piece of cappuccino-flavored chocolate and immediately spiraled, convinced I was going to feel terrible. Luckily, it wasn't 😁
🙂A single square of chocolate... honestly, you are such a neurotic mess. haha
As for me, I drink coffee by the gallon—it's actually pathetic how much I consume. From black drip to instant to lattes, you name it. But hey, when your stomach is constantly acting up, it’s pretty much the only thing that makes life tolerable.