Posts by Joseph Jones2

graniteeagle3 said:Well, it’s true—I have an enormous amount of free time on my hands. I'm not employed right now, nor am I in college. So, I just spend the entire day idling around the house, wondering what to do, and in the end, I still don't know. It gets incredibly boring.
But the thing is—even when I actually have things to do or when I am working—my brain still messes with me. That's just how it functions, haha. I don't know how to explain it properly, but there is this tendency for it to just wait until something comes along that I can become obsessed with, or something that makes me imagine I am this or that. Even when I'm busy with work.

I get it, man. I can see exactly what you're going through, which is why I gave you the advice I did.

Look, I wasn't even worked up about this at first. Honestly, I’m feeling pretty chill right now. But you? You're out here acting like you're in a total crisis—I mean, that's literally what your headline says, you're asking for help. Well, newsflash: I already gave it to you. Maybe I was a little blunt or came on too strong, but you just aren't seeing it because you're choosing to stay in this headspace. It seems like, for some reason, staying stressed actually works for you.

Honestly, I think your whole "cure" boils down to one thing: you just need to get some manual labor in. You know, get your hands dirty and actually work with your body so that—as you put it—your brain finally stops messing with you. That’s really all you need, and honestly? Nothing else.

So, you’ve basically diagnosed yourself with "my brain just loves messing with me," and honestly? I get it. I really do. It’s like there's a tiny, mischievous little gremlin living in your head just waiting for the perfect moment to throw a wrench in your gears. But hey, if you think the cure for that mental chaos is just getting out there and doing some actual, honest-to-god physical labor, I'm not gonna argue with you. Sometimes you just gotta sweat it out to quiet the noise.

And hey, don't forget that old saying—idle hands are the devil's workshop. Honestly, I’d suggest finding some actual work to do; I bet it would do wonders for clearing your head and helping you move past this whole obsession with being a predator.

Are you running some kind of social experiment here to see how people react if you claim to be a pedophile? Just so you know, you can't really "think" you are or aren't one—it's not some sort of mental state where you can sit there observing your own thoughts thinking about whether or not you're thinking those things. You either are or you aren't, and you definitely aren't. But hey, it’s pretty obvious you just love messing around for no reason...

Seriously, go see a psychiatrist tomorrow and tell them you think you're a pedophile. I'd love to see what they do with that.

Total waste of time.

You really need to make a massive pivot. Like, a total 180. You’ve gotta find your true self, because honestly? This version of you just isn't it, clearly...

Terry Newman7 said:Before you jump in with your answers, just... think about this for a second—do you actually accept yourself, like, TOTALLY, just the way you are?

If you do—how did you actually pull that off?

If you don't—what’s the hold-up? What's stopping you?

Out of everyone I've ever worked with, I think I only had one coworker who truly accepted herself—or at least, that was the vibe she gave off. She wasn't some bombshell or someone constantly glued to a makeup mirror, but people just gravitated toward her—guys, girls, whoever—because she just "radiated" confidence. She was just a totally cool woman, really easy to get along with too.

I've been thinking about her for years. My best friend was actually the first one to point out how much she embraced herself, but I didn't even think about it at the time—I just knew she was awesome.

She accepted everyone else exactly as they were, including her husband, who—let's be real—had his fair share of wandering eyes. But she just knew it was nothing more than him being restless; it never caused any drama because she had much bigger things to worry about, and she knew deep down it didn't actually mean anything to him.

She accepted me, she accepted others, she accepted herself... we all just felt good when we were around her. She was magnetic.

It got me thinking—because personally, I don't accept myself, and honestly, I never have. I'm pretty sure it definitely stems from my childhood. Maybe her childhood was just... better?

Now that you've read this, take a beat and answer—do you fully accept yourself? And how does that actually show up in your life?

Anyway, where's that friend of yours now?

Got it 🙂

I honestly think there are two totally different ways to look at forgiveness, like two separate categories of the whole concept.

The first kind is purely internal—it’s just yours. It’s that private process you go through within yourself to find peace, regardless of what anyone else does. You handle it your way, on your own terms, and nobody else even needs to be involved.

Then there’s the second kind, which involves someone else—someone who actually caused you pain, went out of their way to be unfair, or just straight-up hurt you. Even if they eventually come to you and sincerely apologize—and let's face it, that doesn't happen nearly as often as we'd hope—it's a different beast entirely.

To truly, fully forgive someone in that second category, that person has to actually realize the weight of what they did. They need this deep, internal realization of the damage they caused, followed by genuine remorse. And honestly? That rarely happens unless they experience a bit of that same hardship themselves. Don't sit around waiting for it to just "happen" naturally; most people aren't built that way without a wake-up call.

So, that's my take: you can always work through that first type of forgiveness on your own. But with the second kind? Usually, the conditions just aren't there to make it possible.

I mean, isn't self-actualization more about a state of being? Like, a feeling, an openness, or just a sense of being filled up from within? It’s that internal substance that settles a frantic, out-of-control mind. I don't think it's about trying to cram everything into some rigid system of theoretical definitions or forcing the concept into a specific box or shape. Honestly, if you look at everything an individual has gone through—all their assumptions, what they wanted, what they believed, what they did or didn't do given the circumstances of this tiny, fragile little life we're living—it’s pretty clear to everyone on a personal level anyway.

Self-actualization is a feeling. If we absolutely have to categorize it, then it’s an emotional category, not some set of criteria for what can or cannot be achieved. There’s nothing to compare it against. Sure, maybe you could measure it within a tiny micro-environment or a specific niche, but on a macro level? Not a chance.

What I'm getting at is that self-actualization is largely about perception. It’s defined by the boundaries of the framework you exist within, acting as a principle of what's even possible under certain conditions. A guy living in a remote tribe reaches self-actualization at one point; someone living in New York City hits it at another; a person navigating life without a leg finds it in their own way, and so on...