Posts by Lisa Garcia48

bolddriver21 said:And two days is nothing... don't sweat it, things are bound to get even messier before they get better.

He said dream, not day.🙂
It doesn't have to get worse; it could actually get better. Luckily, we get to choose our own future. We're always at a crossroads, but most people just keep taking the same turn...😛

mistycanyon6 said:What kind of unreality? I honestly have no idea what you're getting at. My point was simply that the concept of "normalcy" is incredibly unstable—it’s subjective. What does "being normal" even mean to you?
You were the one who claimed that only a total psycho could ever be with me. How on earth can you say something like that and still be standing?

Look, Gabriel, don't waste your energy worrying about how people label you, or what they think you should do or who you should be with. You can figure that out for yourself. People will offer advice if you ask for it—it shouldn't be forced on you—but it's ultimately up to you whether you take it or not. I, and I'm sure others here, are just trying to help. Use your own judgment and take whatever resonates with what you're going through right now. Arguing, blaming, or trying to outsmart each other isn't going to get anyone anywhere...

mistycanyon6 said:Right. You hit the nail on the head there—fix everything and suddenly all my problems will just vanish into thin air. I clearly failed to account for such an obvious solution in my initial reasoning.

Sorry if I'm sounding cliché, but you don't need some cosmic epiphany or a lightning bolt from the sky to get moving. You don't need specialized expertise, or to be the most attractive or talented person in the room. Having a specific talent—something where you naturally outshine everyone else—is obviously a plus, especially if you back it up with enough grit to become elite at it. But even if you feel like you lack that right now (which I doubt), there's no reason not to start figuring out where you stand, why you feel this way, how you plan to move, and what tools you have to work with...
From my perspective, it looks something like this: 1. Assess your surroundings to see exactly where you are and what the actual problems are. 2. Figure out which actions will solve those immediate issues. 3. Use your willpower to actually start solving them (starting small is better; checking things off builds confidence and momentum). 4. Turn it into a habit. Once it becomes a habit, you don't even need the willpower anymore... it just becomes part of who you are.
I'm probably ten years younger than you, so maybe I'm still naive or clueless, but since I can't see that myself, here's my best advice: test whatever you decide to do on yourself first. None of us on this forum know the subtle nuances of your life; only you do. Any "authority," whether it's someone here or someone in real life, will likely just make your current mess even more complicated. The only real advice is to figure it out for yourself...

bolddriver21 said:That last part is gold... "fix the finances." I believe it because it’s absolutely impossible.

What do you mean by impossible? It’s an uphill battle, sure, but anything is doable if you actually put in the work, right? I'm convinced that even in a mess of a country like this, you can make it if you've got the grit and the drive...🙂

Look, man, your crisis isn't just about being single... You're getting hit from all angles: lack of motivation, money, drive, self-confidence, MY FRIEND... I’m telling you, fix those other areas first and finding a woman won't be the issue—especially if you sort out your finances :P

I wouldn’t call myself a dating expert by any means, but from what I’ve seen, meeting someone new isn't the impossible task it feels like. Think of it in terms of supply and demand. Take an honest look at what you’re bringing to the table—from my perspective, you seem like a quiet, intelligent, and empathetic guy, though maybe a bit socially withdrawn and sensitive—and then look at what you’re actually looking for. What kind of partner are you envisioning? Are you just looking for something casual or something serious? And where would a girl like that even hang out? Basically, audit your own situation. Figure out exactly where you stand and what needs to change to get you moving again after being stuck in neutral. Often, it’s something simple, like finally quitting smoking or cutting ties with a toxic person... just something to break the cycle and get things heading in a better direction.
Honestly, motivational speakers have helped me plenty. There’s an endless amount of them on YouTube, along with plenty of ways to work on your spiritual side
(like this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM_xR9JFYuU )...

The system we’re living in is broken. If you want to heal your soul, you have to change the system itself. Revolution, man...
Besides, before you try playing therapist for everyone else, you’ve got to take care of yourself first. Find your own happiness before you start barking orders and trying to fix people. In my experience searching for that peace, I've realized you can't help anyone with just words or techniques if they aren't willing to help themselves. You can't reach people who refuse to be honest with themselves, let alone with you. Big waste of time.

It’s tough watching how many people get bogged down in the trivialities of daily life, never once stepping back to look at the bigger picture... To me, finding purpose means chasing happiness through a philosophical lens while fulfilling our evolutionary drive to reproduce.