Posts by fadedcobra72

Noah Reed90 said:Two plus two equals 22, not 4.

🙏.

You actually cracked me up here... and honestly? You're totally right. Amen.

David Green11 said:It isn't necessarily worse that you ended up out of work (even though that is absolutely devastating!) as much as it is the fact that nobody actually held anyone accountable. I assume you had the receipts.
You mentioned hating the idea of becoming a typical American cynic; believe me, I find myself questioning my own integrity for the exact same reason. But once I realize that nothing is going to happen to them except maybe a couple of brief mentions in some local news columns, I have to wonder: is it truly worth gambling your entire livelihood and future 🤔
?

It’s not even about those guys getting away with it—it’s that I’m the one who got wrecked. Maybe one day I’ll be sitting there thinking, "Thanks a lot, if they hadn't been around, I'd still have my career..." (fill in the blank). I guess there's still a tiny spark of hope left in me, or maybe it's just pure spite toward people like them.

It isn't worth it, Nicole—but honestly, if there were more people like me out there, things would actually change. But people are cowards. The second you start making waves, they try to sink you. I'm on my own—no kids, no wife—so maybe that's why I can afford to be this reckless... or why I was.

I don't even know anymore. The one thing I am 100% sure of is that I am never putting myself in this position again. I'm done tilting at windmills. Because let's be real—people like that won't even hire me. Period. If they're digging into my past—which they clearly are—then they already know there's no point in hiring me and expecting me to pull illegal stunts.

But hey, what's the point of having integrity if a bunch of suck-ups are just going to mock me and decide my fate?

When I really think about it, the bigger the scammers are, the better it works out for them—not just in business, but in their personal lives too! 🙂

David Green11 said:The absolute most vital thing here is making sure you walk away from this wreckage with some hard-won wisdom. You might feel like you're losing the battle right now, but there is absolutely no reason to surrender; a war can still be won in the end. 😉 And I’m not talking about those slimy former colleagues of yours who seem to be climbing the corporate ladder at your expense, but rather the grander trajectory of your entire life. In my own experience, some of the most devastating setbacks I've endured actually turned out to be massive turning points that paved the way for something far superior. It just takes a little bit of distance and time to look back and see how those chaotic moments were actually building blocks for a better future.
On another note, looking back through the lens of what you know now, would you take the exact same path regarding exposing that corporate fraud at the firm?

Nah, I wouldn't. And honestly? It kills me that I wouldn't! Because it means I was just your typical spineless American loser—someone who just complains and whines without ever actually doing anything about it.

But... there's a "but." I think guys like that wouldn't even hire me anymore. I've overhauled my resume and changed how I approach the job hunt, and I'm pretty damn sure those shady types won't touch me—or at least they won't try to drag me into their bullshit because they'll know I won't play along. Maybe that's why I haven't landed an employer yet 🤣 — I don't even know where I get the energy to laugh at myself.

Feeling a little better today, I guess...

My past is knocking on my door again... it disappears for a few days, then it hits me, and every time it gets harder. Today I’m scrolling through job postings and I see this guy—a former colleague of mine, one of those guys I called out for his criminal bullshit in previous posts—sitting pretty in some manager role at a company that was actually looking for my specific skillset. It doesn't even matter that he’s never stepped foot inside a factory in his life, but what really burns me up is that this employer promised *me* the gig, then just went ghost. I tried reaching out, nothing. He doesn't even meet the legal requirements for the position, but apparently, rules don't apply to him. He just steamrolls over everyone, his whole life, and somehow keeps climbing. The guy is full of himself—it's nauseating—and clearly, sucking up to the right people works wonders.

And I obviously "blew it" because after the employer contacted me and told me to start packing my bags for the move, they either suddenly realized I had too much integrity or this guy had some political connections... even a contact told me recently, "Yeah, we know your type, we're going with someone else."

Can you imagine if I hadn't figured this out? If I'd actually applied to that jerk! He's probably enjoying watching me struggle, and if I had applied, it would look like I was begging him for a job. I’d rather drop dead than work under or with that loser ever again!

Every time I think I've finally moved past all this... nope. I can't. I'm too sensitive to it. It won't let go... I just can't get away from it anymore. I'm bitter, and honestly, there are moments where I feel like doing something drastic—to myself or anyone else. I actually get those people who show up at federal buildings threatening to blow themselves or others up... I used to not understand them, thinking violence solves nothing... I still don't think it does, but I get how people snap when they hit their limit.

Being home is a total nightmare; I'm stuck caring for elderly relatives and I am so done with it. Instead of getting any thanks, I just get told I'm useless and that everyone else is working hard... even my sister moved away just to escape this mess, found some absolute bottom-feeder of a guy (he's a disaster, but she chose him just to get out of here).

I'm looking for work anywhere outside this part of the States, anywhere outside the US, anywhere outside of Europe... I'm losing my mind!!!!

I stopped taking antidepressants because they weren't doing anything, and I'd already cycled through enough of them. And of course, just like I thought—I feel even worse without them.

Sometimes I wonder if I should just down every pill I have left in the cabinet and wash it down with whiskey or whatever the hell! If I knew it would actually work, I wouldn't hesitate. But no, I also need everyone to know that I failed... just a worthless, unsuccessful piece of trash! As if people aren't constantly telling me, "Why didn't you just kiss more ass? You're complaining now, but you didn't play the game."

P.S. Let's be clear—I'm not saying everyone who succeeds got there by being a suck-up. Not at all. I know plenty of people who earned everything through hard work. It just eats at me that I wasn't one of them, while these "kiss-ass" types sailed right through.

Shout out to Rosenkreuz and Nicholas Gonzalez8 for those insights... honestly, I’m kind of at a loss for words right now. Nothing good is actually happening, and I really don't want to just sit here and vent for the sake of it, so...

Did you miss the part where I said every single potential connection—or whatever—just goes nowhere? My track record in dating is basically zero, and please don't suggest I just hook up with some random person just to get over my ex. I’ve actually tried that before, and honestly? It felt way worse than being alone.

Hey, mind if I ask what age group we’re looking at here? I’d honestly love to hang out with you guys, but I’m a bit older at 43—and I’m definitely not from a place like Chicago 😢.

It’s brutal. Especially when it hits me in my sleep. It’s either this constant loop of career failures where everyone seems to be laughing at how much of a loser I am, or—which honestly feels way worse—replaying my last relationship. I got cheated on, gave her a second chance because I thought I could fix things, and then she just dumped me anyway. I still relive that whole mess constantly. It’s embarrassing to admit, especially since years have passed, but I can't shake it. Every single night, it’s the same dream: finding out about the cheating all over again, listening to her blame *me* for it—telling me it was my fault because of how I am, which is exactly what she did in real life—just mocking me for failing at everything. It’s been going on for years now. She’s with some guy now who, by all accounts, is actually stable—has his act together, finished school, successful, the whole nine yards. It looks like some perfect suburban fairy tale, and I have to see it play out because they live right near me. I haven't actually seen them together, but I have to pass their house to get anywhere, and seeing the lights on or his car in the driveway... man, when I start wondering what they're up to, I don't even feel angry. I just feel incredibly, deeply sad. I’ve tried Adderall, I’ve tried therapy—even the shrinks think my suffering is some dramatic, teenage > nonsense. They just tell me to "build self-esteem," but it’s not that easy, and I don't know how to help myself anymore... Not to mention, I’m starting to give more and more thought to that final exit. If I had a 100% foolproof way to pull it off, I’d probably do it. Honestly, I don't want to add "suicide attempt" to my already massive file of loser accomplishments. Like, look at me—I couldn't even do that properly if I tried.

The big career crash happened when I was around 30—yeah, you guys thought I was younger, didn't you? Nope, I'm an old soul, this happened a long time ago. But after that, I became a >. I reported criminal activity in the government agency where I worked, and ever since, I haven't been able to land a decent job—it's pretty obvious why. Even though I'm educated, I can't get anything to stick, and believe me, I'm trying. A colleague of mine—really good guy deep down, but God help me, he's as dumb as a post—he managed to jump from one government gig straight into another. He's pulling in $2667, bragging about how little he actually has to do... Look, I know there are people doing much worse than me, and I'm not bitter toward those who are winning, but... I'm just done. Even though I know it isn't true, whenever I walk down the street, I feel like everyone is staring and whispering, "That's him, remember? Look at him now, living like a bum, has nothing left." I've lost so much weight, gone gray, picked up health issues along the way...

How do I just "get away" from all this past baggage?! Everything I try ends in a disaster. I try to stay busy just so I'm not stuck at home spiraling, but no matter what I do, it all just reminds me of how much I've failed.

And then there are those dreams about my >...