Posts by driftinghound12

Look, I consider myself a hard worker, so I just don't get people who find it much easier to sit back and criticize than to actually step up and build something better... There's no shame in asking someone else for advice when you're out of your depth.🤣

Rather than quoting everyone individually, I’ll just leave a collective comment based on everything discussed so far... Sure, I agree you should distance yourself from toxic people—absolutely—but if life forces you to live with them or interact with them, you inevitably get sucked into their games. I'm not entirely sure if malice is hardwired into someone's DNA, but there's definitely a connection; my own father was like that, while my mother wasn't, and he constantly belittled her because she didn't fit his narrow vision of what a partner should be. Also, I never claimed I do things for recognition; I do them out of pure passion. What really gets to me is how society tends to reward hypocrisy, lying, or those who tear down someone else's honest work just to get ahead. As for getting even with these types of people, I have zero interest in stooping to their primitive level or wasting my breath trying to strike back. But when you're forced into a corner where you have to react, you end up burning through all your energy on useless nonsense, which is the kind of pressure I was thinking about...🙂

Bradley Wood43 said:When navigating our day-to-day interactions, we really ought to respect certain social norms and follow established patterns of behavior, communication, and action—purely to avoid becoming social outcasts. 😵
Social norms aren't just arbitrary rules without purpose (at least most of them aren't); they carry genuine weight and logic. At the end of the day, we all tend to think of ourselves as unique wildflowers in a vast meadow 🤣 but more often than not, reality doesn't quite work that way...

Sure, as previously mentioned, forcing us to blindly follow these social norms basically turns us into robots. Some people find happiness in conforming because it makes them feel better and think clearer, while others are miserable following those same rules simply because they don't feel comfortable, yet they do it anyway just to be accepted by society and avoid being cast aside. People are diverse, and I’d argue that social norms act like a sort of filter to decide who belongs in society and who doesn't, which is totally irrelevant since everyone should technically have equal rights in an American society.

I agree that a certain level of basic politeness in how we treat one another is necessary, but that shouldn't be driven by these social norms acting as a gatekeeper for who is deemed acceptable. If anything, that's why we see so much violence in our communities, bullying among peers, discrimination, intolerance, and general degradation.

bluepanther8 said:If you’re focused on defeating someone or something, you’ve essentially entered into a "game." By doing that, you’ve tacitly agreed to participate in a match where you never even wanted to be a player in the first place. But here’s the thing—you always have the option to just walk away and call it quits if you aren't enjoying the rules. That is your right. You can either ignore the noise entirely or decide to become a stronger, more capable player. The choice is yours.
Well, evil never truly wins... at least not in this world. Your options are to distance yourself from that kind of behavior or to become "better"—which really means becoming tougher or even more ruthless than they are.

I’ve always felt that malicious people have this innate drive to drag everyone else into some sort of competition. If they can frame the prize as "recognition" or status, they’ll manipulate the rules however they see fit just to ensure they come out on top. Sure, the standard advice is to just walk away from people like that, but that isn't exactly a luxury when you're forced to deal with them on a daily basis. Trying to prove yourself in their rigged games is exhausting, mostly because you never signed up for the contest in the first place, and frankly, I don't have the energy to waste on something so pointless.

Adam Ross11 said:Malicious people are simply those who don't know how to find happiness, which makes them unable to tolerate seeing anyone else succeed or thrive. We can overcome such negativity by choosing to remain joyful and happy ourselves 👋.

Oh, that's a given. For instance, my sister can get so incredibly jealous whenever I'm actually happy; she'll go to any lengths necessary just to tear me down, all because she can't stand seeing me succeed.😵

Nicholas Gonzalez73 said:Being true to yourself requires a level of courage that most people just don't possess.☕ It’s always much easier to just follow the path of least resistance and blend in with the crowd.

Here are a couple of instances from my own life that illustrate this:

1. Someone will go out and buy an incredibly expensive item or book an ultra-luxury vacation, but the moment you ask about the price, they start spinning this narrative about how they got a massive discount and barely spent anything at all. Honestly, what is that even about? 😁

2. An acquaintance of mine stayed in a relationship with a guy who was clearly wrong for her character-wise, simply because she felt she had to, and eventually, they ended up getting married. Now, they fight constantly, but she feels like if she hadn't gone through with the wedding, it would have been seen as some sort of social failure. 🤦

And then we act completely blindsided when the statistics show that one out of every four marriages falls apart. Personally, I know plenty of people in long-term domestic partnerships who are actually quite happy. It’s what happens when you spend all your energy trying to maintain the outward appearance just to get a nod of approval from the neighbors, while the actual substance of the relationship is left to rot.

Nicholas Gonzalez73 said:I suspect the real issue lies with those people who are just so fundamentally good that they can't even wrap their heads around the idea that bad actors exist, so when someone finally does stab them in the back, they’re left completely shell-shocked 😲

Then, on the flip side, you have the ones who put on this massive act of being saints, when in reality they're just complete garbage who blame everyone else for their own mess 😛

It really comes down to figuring out which camp the author actually falls into 😁

Et cetera, one scenario would be if I were spamming this blog with hundreds of posts just looking for validation, acting like a saint in every single entry to get attention. I know exactly which other group you mean—those people who crave social approval, parading through society pretending to be saints while actually causing nothing but trouble for others. I was simply saying that I try to be decent to those around me because my relationships with people actually matter to me.

casualharbor9 said:... hmmm... 🤔... big boobs?

I don't think it's worth overanalyzing the "why" or the "how." To me, all human relationships come down to sincerity and a sense of community, which is exactly what our connection proved. It wasn't a fluke.

casualharbor9 said:Anyway, that’s probably a conversation for a different thread. 😉
The issue at hand here seems to be the subjective perception of evil.

It isn't about subjective perception of evil. I'm not sitting here whining or asking for opinions just because this happens to me personally. I see this pattern in my own circles, too. I wrote it because it feels like "bad" people are normalized nowadays—it's almost trendy in certain social circles to screw someone over. I know I'm not an isolated case; I mentioned seeing it in my own environment. It’s just that lately, I've had enough of it. It hits hard when you see people like that, and their actions, getting praised by the rest of society as some kind of "resourcefulness" or "power." That's why I'm asking for a psychological perspective.

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Look, it sounds like you're surrounded by total negatives right now, but trust me, not everyone is built that way.

I know this is incredibly heavy and painful to deal with, but try to see the silver lining regarding that guy and that "friend." They showed you exactly who they were—they revealed their true colors so you aren't stuck wasting more years on people who don't value you. Now, you actually have space in your life to find people who are actually worth your time. If they hadn't burned those bridges, they could have kept dragging you along for years only to stab you in the back later.

It doesn't matter who these people are. Just tune them out and live your life on your own terms.

And please, don't think about suicide. You are worth so much more than you can believe right now. Even when everything feels completely bleak, things can—and likely will—change.

Try to get out there and meet new people, but do it without any heavy expectations. You'll meet someone and realize you don't click, someone might reject you outright, or you'll just drift apart from others over time. That's just how life works—it happens to everyone. But there will always be wonderful connections waiting for you, and those can turn into real, beautiful friendships. Maybe even a new love too. 🙂

That’s actually really kind and sincere advice. Thanks for saying that.

John Palmer9 said:If this isn't just someone trolling, then I guess:

There has to be some bad out there, otherwise we wouldn't really know what good looks like. It feels like you can't have one without the other. Maybe we should just accept that possibility—that some people are going to act maliciously toward you—and then try to figure out ways to deal with those toxic types. I suppose you also have to realize that you won't always win those battles, and sometimes you'll just have to endure the unpleasantness. That's just how life works, I guess. The good things will eventually make up for the bitter taste of dealing with all that negativity, and having plenty of positive moments might make the hard times a little easier to stomach.

No, it's not trolling; it's just curiosity, which occasionally has a habit of being painfully lethal.👎

I couldn't find an existing thread for this, so I’m starting my own because I’m genuinely preoccupied with it... I view this more as a psychology question than a philosophical one. Throughout my life, I've made a conscious effort to be a good person—honest, fair, someone who pursues goals through creativity and hard work, and stays kind and helpful to everyone. I try to approach everything with a positive mindset. It would all be much easier to enjoy if there weren't people in my orbit who seem hell-bent on causing harm. Generally speaking, these are individuals who thrive on destruction, constantly seeking validation by stepping on others. They just seem drawn to malice.

One such person pretended to be my friend, only to steal my boyfriend after we had been together for years. Another is my sister; when I confided my plans to her, she rushed to execute them herself just to snatch the credit. She loves nitpicking me over trivialities and belittling me to others to make herself look better. Then there was a colleague at work who swiped one of my ideas—in a workplace where we're supposed to be collaborating toward a shared goal—and took all the praise for it.

Why are some people naturally drawn to darkness, finding satisfaction in tearing things down for their own gain? How are you supposed to handle them once they've already won? What can be done as a preventative measure? Clearly, I’m attracting this kind of energy somehow; perhaps I’m trying too hard to be nice or "good," making myself an easy target for exploitation. I also don't understand why society seems to reward these types. They’re arrogant and "resourceful," knowing how to grab what they want without putting in any actual sweat or effort. Nowadays, it feels like screwing someone over has become normalized, while being decent is treated as the anomaly. Lately, I've become so guarded and disillusioned with people that I don't trust anyone, let alone want to go out. It got so bad that I actually attempted suicide because the pressure from these toxic people became suffocating. I just feel like I'm worthless and that none of my efforts matter.🤦

It’s because people have this desperate hunger for validation. Unfortunately, society is just saturated with it. Why is that a problem? Because everywhere you look, everyone seems so hollow and manufactured. I tend to steer clear of large social circles for that reason; the persona someone puts on in a crowd is usually a total fabrication. People try way too hard to be something they aren't. I much prefer one-on-one conversations. You can actually take your time to read someone, and you have a much better shot at seeing who they really are, most of the time.😁

I just received a notice from a notary regarding a collection action for my Verizon bill—not that I want to bore you all with the specifics about the roughly $0.0010 USD owed. Naturally, I’ve got an 8-day window if I want to file an appeal. The problem is, paying the full amount within those 8 days isn't exactly in the cards for me right now. Is there any way to work out a payment plan to prevent them from coming after assets that, quite frankly, don't exist? And if so, who actually holds the cards here? Should I be talking to Verizon, the Hanžeković law firm, or the notary?

northernsailor102 said:I’ve been sitting here for quite some time now, wrestling with thoughts of ending it all. Honestly, after observing the sheer absurdity of human existence and actually participating in this charade, I haven't been able to find a single legitimate reason to keep enduring this ongoing agony. It makes me wonder: what is your reason—or perhaps several reasons—for staying alive? Where does that primal urge for self-preservation and survival actually come from? What is it that forces you to keep going? What are you living for, what are you fighting for, or what have you dedicated your entire life to? Why is it that you manage to drag yourself out of bed every single morning?
I am not asking about some grand, cosmic purpose. I am asking about the practical, raw reasons why you choose to live over and over again.

To be perfectly honest, I’ve had those thoughts too. Why? Because I was stuck in an environment where I wasn't respected, surrounded by people who constantly belittled and undervalued me. When you're dealing with people who are that negative and filled with baseless hatred toward you—people who pressure you and refuse to let you be who you actually are because they'd rather you be a reflection of their own desires—it makes you want to just snap. The most important thing is setting goals that fulfill you personally, not others, and making sure they're actually within your reach. Surround yourself with people who respect you for being yourself, and stay far away from those who won't respect you for what you aren't. In the end, just find joy in the small things; bit by bit, something bigger will eventually show up. You know how it goes—one brick at a time builds the house.👍

It’s funny how much pressure there is these days on anyone who doesn't fit the standard mold—whether you're gay, Black, an atheist, or any other minority group. So many people live in constant fear of being judged by society. Why? Because everyone seems to have this desperate need to feel like they belong to the crowd and crave validation from the masses. They fail to realize that the majority isn't a collection of clones; they're just a different demographic. Honestly, having two or three friends who actually get you is infinitely better than having a hundred acquaintances who don't. But most people miss that point, thinking they need a huge audience just to feel validated.

For instance, I recently came out to my mom about liking girls, and her immediate reaction was all about optics: "What will people think? I'm a teacher here in Chicago, everyone knows me—how is this going to affect my reputation? What are the neighbors going to say when they see who you're bringing home?" It’s exhausting. To me, constantly measuring your worth against others and hunting for approval from the widest possible circle is just a massive red flag for insecurity and deep-seated self-dissatisfaction.☕