Mixed signals from guys: What's the deal?
in Psychology ·
There's a chance.
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Mixed signals from guys: What's the deal?
in Psychology ·
Tell me something, when you start rambling down there, are you actually thinking about quantum physics or what? Nah. And you're a woman.
Mixed signals from guys: What's the deal?
in Psychology ·
but honestly, even being super blunt can be misleading sometimes. It’s because people expect things to be vague or open to interpretation, so when you’re just direct, it throws them off.
This one actually made me stop and think for a second. Thanks for that.
Mixed signals from guys: What's the deal?
in Psychology ·
slypuma17 said:Do you actually grasp what "knowing someone at their core" implies? To really get to the heart of another human being takes nearly an entire lifetime—and even then, you could never claim to fully "know" them. Can you even say you know your own soul that deeply?
Quincy:I couldn't agree more. 👍
But how can anyone maintain quality communication with a partner when they lack self-awareness? How can they hope to understand him if they haven't even mastered themselves? How can relationships with people like that even survive? Why do so many people just end up stagnating in them?
If you spent even half as much time reflecting on your own messages as you do dissecting his, your perspective would sound entirely different.
I hear what you're saying. And honestly, it’s a fair point—it's just that I wasn't implying this kind of "instant deep connection" thing like you thought I was based on how I phrased it. My focus was more on how so many people don't even bother trying to understand themselves or anyone else, or if they do try, they're doing it all wrong. So, my answer to your question is pretty much the same. I'm working on getting to know myself.
(I'll probably sound like a total know-it-all now because I wasn't being humble enough, but whatever, oh well.)
Mixed signals from guys: What's the deal?
in Psychology ·
Alright, here’s a little joke about all this(don't take it too seriously!):😁
Women's English:
>Yes = No
>No = Yes
>Maybe = No
>I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
> We need = I want
>It's your decision = The right choice should be pretty obvious by now
>Do what you want = You're going to regret this later
>We need to talk = I have some grievances to air
>Sure, go ahead = I really don't want you to
>I'm not upset = I am absolutely livid, you idiot!
>You're so manly = You need a haircut and you smell like gym socks
>Be romantic, turn out the lights = I'm feeling a bit self-conscious about my legs
>This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want us to move to a bigger house
>I want new curtains = And new carpet, and new furniture, and new wallpaper
>I heard a noise = I saw you starting to drift off
>Do you love me? = I'm about to ask for something pricey
>How much do you love me? = I did something today that you aren't going to like
>I'll be ready in a minute = Go grab a beer and find a game on TV
>You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with everything I say
>Are you even listening to me!? = [Way too late, RIP]
Men's English:
>I'm hungry = I'm hungry
>I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
>I'm tired = I'm tired
>Do you want to go to the movies? = I'm hoping this leads to bedroom time
>Can I take you out to dinner? = I'm hoping this leads to bedroom time
>Can I call you sometime? = I'm hoping this leads to bedroom time
>May I have this dance? = I'm hoping this leads to bedroom time
>Nice dress! = Wow, great neckline!
>You look tense, let me give you a massage = I'm looking to get handsy
>What's wrong? = Which one of your recent bad decisions is bothering you now?
>What's wrong? = So, I'm guessing tonight is a wash
>I'm bored = Is it time for sex yet?
>I love you = Let's go to bed
>I love you, too = Fine, I said it. Can we go to bed now?
>Yes, I like your new haircut = I actually preferred the old one
>Let's talk = I'm going to try to act deep so maybe we can hook up?
>Will you marry me? = I want to lock you down so you can't date anyone else
🙂
Women's English:
>Yes = No
>No = Yes
>Maybe = No
>I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
> We need = I want
>It's your decision = The right choice should be pretty obvious by now
>Do what you want = You're going to regret this later
>We need to talk = I have some grievances to air
>Sure, go ahead = I really don't want you to
>I'm not upset = I am absolutely livid, you idiot!
>You're so manly = You need a haircut and you smell like gym socks
>Be romantic, turn out the lights = I'm feeling a bit self-conscious about my legs
>This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want us to move to a bigger house
>I want new curtains = And new carpet, and new furniture, and new wallpaper
>I heard a noise = I saw you starting to drift off
>Do you love me? = I'm about to ask for something pricey
>How much do you love me? = I did something today that you aren't going to like
>I'll be ready in a minute = Go grab a beer and find a game on TV
>You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with everything I say
>Are you even listening to me!? = [Way too late, RIP]
Men's English:
>I'm hungry = I'm hungry
>I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
>I'm tired = I'm tired
>Do you want to go to the movies? = I'm hoping this leads to bedroom time
>Can I take you out to dinner? = I'm hoping this leads to bedroom time
>Can I call you sometime? = I'm hoping this leads to bedroom time
>May I have this dance? = I'm hoping this leads to bedroom time
>Nice dress! = Wow, great neckline!
>You look tense, let me give you a massage = I'm looking to get handsy
>What's wrong? = Which one of your recent bad decisions is bothering you now?
>What's wrong? = So, I'm guessing tonight is a wash
>I'm bored = Is it time for sex yet?
>I love you = Let's go to bed
>I love you, too = Fine, I said it. Can we go to bed now?
>Yes, I like your new haircut = I actually preferred the old one
>Let's talk = I'm going to try to act deep so maybe we can hook up?
>Will you marry me? = I want to lock you down so you can't date anyone else
🙂
Mixed signals from guys: What's the deal?
in Psychology ·
Quincy:
Just speaking from a male perspective here.😁
Jokes aside, you were just talking about her being shallow—or rather, how shallow her relationships are. So, saying women are more ambiguous feels a bit contradictory to me. Being shallow isn't a gender thing; it's a character thing.
If she actually had deep, meaningful communication with her partner, half this stuff wouldn't even cross her mind. But like you said, most things just boil down to hookups and those three-month flings (if only they all stayed that short, right?).
Why even start a relationship if you don't actually know who someone is at their core? Why not just hook up without slapping a label like "relationship" on it?
But honestly, how can you have real communication with a partner if you don't even know yourself? How are you supposed to get to know him if you aren't self-aware? And how are "relationships" with people like that even supposed to last? It makes me wonder why so many people just stagnate in them.
If she thought about herself and HER OWN TEXTS even half as much as you think she thinks about His, the whole story would sound a lot different.
| From a guy's point of view, I’d say any ambiguity usually starts in a woman's head. Colorka actually laid out the logic behind when guys' texts are legitimately double-sided. Compared to how much stuff goes on in your world, it's pretty rare. |
Jokes aside, you were just talking about her being shallow—or rather, how shallow her relationships are. So, saying women are more ambiguous feels a bit contradictory to me. Being shallow isn't a gender thing; it's a character thing.
If she actually had deep, meaningful communication with her partner, half this stuff wouldn't even cross her mind. But like you said, most things just boil down to hookups and those three-month flings (if only they all stayed that short, right?).
Why even start a relationship if you don't actually know who someone is at their core? Why not just hook up without slapping a label like "relationship" on it?
But honestly, how can you have real communication with a partner if you don't even know yourself? How are you supposed to get to know him if you aren't self-aware? And how are "relationships" with people like that even supposed to last? It makes me wonder why so many people just stagnate in them.
If she thought about herself and HER OWN TEXTS even half as much as you think she thinks about His, the whole story would sound a lot different.
The science behind falling in love: Why does it happen?
in Psychology ·
Gary James88 said:Not necessarily, though hormones definitely play their part. It’s this messy web of environment, biochemistry, consciousness, and perception—everything influencing everything else in a constant loop. Honestly, it's probably too complicated to untangle these days.
Do you think some people are just genetically wired to be loyal—you know, built for that family-oriented lifestyle—or is it mostly just social conditioning and hormones? Or maybe the hormones themselves are hardwired by our DNA? I was reading about animal behavior the other day, and it's wild how some species stay with one partner for their entire lives while others just move from one mate to the next constantly...
The science behind falling in love: Why does it happen?
in Psychology ·
Is the shelf life of love just a byproduct of our hormones?
Hard to start a new thread
in Psychology ·
You didn't kill him, you just wore him down. Honestly, you're just giving back exactly what they gave you, which is why you're even doing this in the first place.
OCD: General Discussion Thread
in Psychology & Therapy ·
So, you mentioned your doctor explained those sudden shifts in mood were mostly due to the massive life changes that come with expecting a baby, but you also said you were feeling this way even before the pregnancy—mostly regarding how things felt with your husband...
I’m curious, though, what does that actually look like for you? Like, what triggers it? Does he do something specific that sets it off, or is it more of a general feeling where you just feel dissatisfied with everything in life during those moments?
I’m curious, though, what does that actually look like for you? Like, what triggers it? Does he do something specific that sets it off, or is it more of a general feeling where you just feel dissatisfied with everything in life during those moments?
OFFTOPIC: We need more mods
in Psychology ·
Michelle Thomas45 said:Oh, sure—her sarcasm is totally fine as long as it isn't aimed at *you*. And frankly, I couldn't care less who you'd rather listen to—or read, whatever.
Of course you'd say that, being the egoist you are... if I’d actually said I preferred reading your stuff over the current moderator, we'd be having a totally different conversation...🙄
It’s not about that, really. It’s just that when I see people dropping F-bombs, it makes me feel uneasy regardless of who they're aimed at, especially in a sub like psychology...
but yeah, clearly you don't care. hm. okay. good luck with the moderation duties.
OCD: General Discussion Thread
in Psychology & Therapy ·
So, what’s actually going on with you? Honestly, I’m having a bit of a hard time following everything here, which is probably why I went totally ballistic when you mentioned your little one earlier. I didn't mean to snap, I just got overwhelmed. Is it that constant feeling that something bad is about to happen to you or the people closest to you? Like, is that what we're dealing with?
OFFTOPIC: We need more mods
in Psychology ·
Look, she’s just being sarcastic, while you’re honestly just being crude. I’d much rather sit through her sarcasm every single day than have to deal with your constant swearing.
Love & Psychology
in Psychology ·
Man, everything just feels so complicated...
That’s true... but I wonder, besides all that heavy sadness holding you down, are there any bright spots or encouraging moments keeping you afloat too?🙂
I honestly think it’s tough to find someone who really gets your headspace and how you feel unless they’ve walked in those same shoes themselves. But at the end of the day, what matters is that you lift each other up instead of dragging one another down. It’s a beautiful thing when two people, both feeling like they’re fighting losing battles with barely any resources, finally join forces and turn it into one big, shared fight where they actually have enough strength to win.🙂
Love & Psychology
in Psychology ·
Nah, listen, character compatibility doesn't mean you have to be carbon copies of one another. It’s really about how those differences and similarities actually mesh together. Think of it like this: if I’m a total conservative and you’re more of a liberal, I might actually get along better with you than I would with some other liberal, whereas a bunch of other conservatives might just drive me nuts... you know what I mean? Sometimes there's way too much of the same energy, sometimes the vibes are totally mismatched, and sometimes it’s just not quite right either way. We're all basically just hunting for that "sweet spot" where everything feels balanced. In your case, it seems like having way too much of the same energy ended up causing everything to fall apart... does that make sense? What I'm trying to say is
Love & Psychology
in Psychology ·
Keith Hayes said:Honestly, I just love him! He’s incredibly attentive, and looking back over our two and a half years together, we've honestly never had any major blowouts or huge arguments. He truly cares about the little things that matter to me, and being by his side has just been such a wonderful experience.
I think feralhound55 is onto something—you really need to sit down and dig into this for yourself if you can, unless there’s more to the story. Because if this is the whole picture, it’s tough to see how a relationship survives on just this. Not trying to push my opinion on anyone, though.
Love and affection are amazing and super important, don't get me wrong, but they can't be the *only* foundation for a long-term thing. When you say you haven't had big disagreements, what does that actually mean? Are you guys genuinely that compatible personality-wise? Or are you just so in love that you're sweeping those fundamental differences under the rug, hoping they'll just vanish on their own?
In my experience, having some bigger disagreements can actually be a good thing. Being honest is vital, and when two people are truly honest, clashes in opinions, values, and personalities are bound to happen. That doesn't have to mean a breakup (was that what you were worried about?), though. Sometimes, those moments actually help you understand each other better and make the bond deeper. You just have to learn how to fight fair. And I don't mean screaming matches or throwing plates at each other—I mean having a heavy, meaningful discussion. What's your take on that?
Besides the love, his attentiveness, and him caring about your stuff, what else was it about being with him that you liked?
I'm asking all this not because I think what you have isn't valid, but because since you asked, I want to make sure this makes sense for your own mental health.
I won't go too deep into my own life, but I’ve definitely been in a dark place before, too. Every relationship hits a wall eventually. Don't look at it like a catastrophe; try seeing it as a crossroads where the relationship either gets stronger or finally breaks because the foundation was shaky to begin with. Honestly, it's better if it cracks now than ten years down the road. I always try to find a silver lining in these situations...
At the end of the day, both you and him will walk away from this with more experience, whether you stay together or not.
If it does end (and look, I'm not saying it's easy, and I'm not telling you to give up, but do everything you can), just sit him down and tell him that from here on out, you both have to be brutally honest, otherwise, you're just going to shut down emotionally. If you do break up, give yourself grace. Don't force yourself to "get over it" instantly; it happens in its own time. Try to focus on the little things in your daily routine to keep your mind busy. You need something to pull your focus back to yourself. Don't just stay in bed crying all day. You can feel the feelings, but don't ignore the core issue. Don't let it drag on; most things can be worked through with a few mature, direct, and honest conversations. If you don't, you're just dragging out the pain for both of you.
Good luck!🙂
OCD: General Discussion Thread
in Psychology & Therapy ·
Olivia Rivera77 said:No, you’re totally missing the point. It's not that I *want* my kid to die—hell no, she’s my whole world. This happened because I was stuck in a massive depression for ages and didn't seek help, so eventually, it just spiraled into intense anxiety. When you combine deep depression with high-functioning anxiety, things get messy. Once everything hit a breaking point, I finally went to see a doctor. And look, I am absolutely not a danger to anyone; it’s just how my anxiety manifests itself through these intrusive thoughts or whatever. It is the polar opposite of who I actually am as a person. I started taking Lexapro, and thank God, everything is fine now.
Aha, okay, I totally get it now... reading it without context makes it sound way scarier than it is. Hang in there, both you and the little one.🙂
OCD: General Discussion Thread
in Psychology & Therapy ·
I don't know, I have these really strange obsessions... I constantly find myself thinking about sexual assault.
It’s not like I’m getting anything out of it or enjoying it, it just leaves me feeling this massive wave of anxiety that I can't seem to shake off no matter what...
I'm right there with you on this one.😢 🙄...I actually wrote a whole post about it in my thread regarding fears surrounding sexuality. It's been something I've dealt with since I was little... and honestly, if it didn't keep dragging me back down into that dark headspace, I probably wouldn't even talk about it.
OCD: General Discussion Thread
in Psychology & Therapy ·
So, in those exact moments, you actually want your kid to die??? You don't feel like you're a danger to them during those times...??? I mean, I honestly have no clue what's going on here. I'm not saying you're some kind of potential killer or anything, but what does a psychiatrist actually say about a feeling like yours?