Posts by Andrew Diaz3

Honestly, I’m still feeling a little awkward about this because I just realized I was using the wrong pronoun—I should have said 'my' instead of 'his.' 🙂

Regarding parental expectations, yeah, they were definitely there in a standard way, but in all honesty, nobody ever actually forced my hand; it felt more like it was just coming from deep inside me. If anything, they spent a ton of time trying to tell me that making a mistake or getting a bad grade wasn't the end of the world, but it didn't matter because, by then, I had already convinced myself that they were totally wrong 🙂

I feel like there's this huge issue in our society where people tie perfectionism to all these positive vibes like discipline, solid work ethic, or just being a "good worker," in the exact same way we act like constant grinding and zero sleep are just hallmarks of being ambitious and driven—but honestly, none of that is healthy because we're talking about total extremes here.

We also have to face the fact that we live in a world, especially here in the States, where you practically have to be a superhero in terms of your skills and how hard you hustle just to get noticed or to maintain a decent life. Instead of realizing that these standards are actually impossible and usually just lead straight to anxiety, depression, losing your zest for life, and massive stress, our culture actually encourages and rewards that kind of behavior.

I’ve struggled with perfectionism for as long as I can remember. Even when I was just a little kid, I felt like I had to do everything myself because I didn't trust anyone else to do a job "well enough." I remember back in elementary school art class, I’d often fail to finish anything on time because every single tiny line in my drawing had to be absolutely flawless; I always had such a brutal opinion of myself, and the only way I thought I could fix it in my own eyes was by being the absolute best at literally everything.

Obviously, you can't sustain that mindset forever, and now, in my early 20s, I’ve developed a whole laundry list of phobias, depression, anxiety, and all those heavy feelings. I find myself constantly second-guessing things in life out of fear that if it won't be perfect, why even start? It’s like the textbook definition of what happens when extreme perfectionism takes over. This thing seriously stops me from being truly happy, and I really believe there are so many other people out there dealing with the exact same thing.

I would give anything to figure out the root causes of my perfectionism, because I think understanding the "why" would help me finally tackle the problem, but I honestly have no clue how to pin it down. Is it something baked into my DNA? Maybe it’s just how I was raised, since both of my parents are the exact same way about this stuff? Or maybe it’s the pressure from society, or even my own financial situation that made me feel like perfection was the only way to climb out of the hole I'm in... the list just keeps going and going.

Sadly, it feels like we've already established that no doctor around here is particularly skilled when it comes to shaping a nose, and honestly, all those photos you see online are just pulled straight from their professional portfolios.

I honestly feel like Bagatin’s noses look almost exactly the same after the surgery—like, he barely even touches the tip, you know? I mean, I really don't have a clue which of our local surgeons actually does a decent job with the tips at all...

Yeah, they aren't exactly American :P I think I phrased that a little weirdly, but you can still totally see the difference in surgical quality since that kind of work is way more mainstream over there 🙂 I actually loved how natural they look, though you can definitely tell their nostrils were shaped really nicely 🙂 and yeah, that first doctor gave me a total "wow" reaction too 🙂

Has anyone actually had a good experience with our local doctors when it comes to refining or defining the nasal tip? Honestly, my impression is that they’re pretty decent at just smoothing out a bump—which is basically the easiest part of the surgery—but looking at the photos on their websites, I don't see them doing anything much more specific than that...

Since I was feeling a bit skeptical about what we have here, I ended up doing some digging on international forums like MakeMeHeal and RealSelf, and I actually stumbled upon two surgeons in America whose work totally blew me away—just figured I'd share in case anyone else is looking! 🙂

Dr. Vladimir Grigoryants

http://www.vgplasticsurgery.com/Nose...%20Gallery.htm

and Dr. Ashkan Ghavami

http://www.ghavamiplasticsurgery.com...and_after.html

Nothing beats the US😁

obsessive-compulsive disorder...

It's interesting, honestly—I’ve never actually been diagnosed with it, but you don't have to be some kind of genius to realize you're dealing with at least a mild version of it...

So, I wanted to ask those of you who have more experience here: do you think I actually have OCD, and if so, where would you say I fall on the spectrum?

Basically, ever since I can remember, I've been super sensitive about certain things. For me, it isn't about the classic stuff like washing my hands constantly or anything like that, but I’ve always been obsessed with making lists and planning everything out. Like, if there was a square piece of paper on a square desk, the edges of that paper had to be perfectly aligned with the edges of the table—nothing could just be tossed down carelessly. Even when it comes to studying, I can't just start at some random time like 9:07; I have to wait until at least 9:15 because that's when the clock hand hits a perfect right angle compared to an imaginary line running from the 12 to the 6...

And I can only study if I'm pacing around and talking out loud, repeating the same sentences a few times over. Also, once I start studying, I can't stop or do anything else until I finish a whole paragraph. If a paragraph carries over to the next page of the book, I absolutely have to finish that entire page before moving on, because it drives me crazy if half a sentence is on one page and the other half is on the next...

To be fair, these weird little systems have actually been pretty helpful for my work routine sometimes, but looking back, it all feels a bit too "hard-wired" and tense.

On top of all that, I struggle with anxiety and depression that cycles in and out with periods of intense high energy. I also compulsively pick at my fingers and scratch around my cuticles—mostly doing it without even realizing it—and I tend to sleep way too much during the day but can't fall asleep until super late at night, plus my concentration is shot.

I can see that I deal with depression, but what's really eating at me is whether this is all triggered by external factors like stress or actual trauma (I lost my dad to cancer when I was little) or if I’ve just always been wired this way (considering I've had those first OCD-type traits since preschool)? help?

Hey cupcake, I really hope you'll get back to us soon because we're starting to get a little worried about why you've gone quiet on us...

Look, nobody just decides to self-destruct for the fun of it... since you can clearly see there’s an issue and you're actually reaching out for help (which is obvious since you showed up here looking for advice), that is officially the first step toward building a better life.

Some people have already given you some killer advice, so honestly? Just treat your recovery like a project.

1. Assess the situation: take a good, hard look at yourself and your surroundings—figure out what’s making you sad, what’s hurting you, when exactly you start spiraling, and what specific factors are triggering those low points.

2. Isolate the negative triggers: once you realize which things are driving your bad moods, write them down on a piece of paper. For example:

- A friend keeps getting on my nerves by being insulting.
- I feel worthless because I'm struggling to keep up with things (like school, work, or my relationship).
- I'm sleeping too much, or staying up too late, or I just lack motivation, or I absolutely hate the winter weather.

3. Try to chip away at those factors. Don't try to fix everything at once, though; do it gradually. If you're feeling depressed, you probably don't have much willpower, and without willpower, you won't have the strength or drive to push through, so start with the tiny wins.

- Like, for instance, try waking up just an hour earlier, splashing some cold water on your face, and going for a thirty-minute walk around the neighborhood every other morning. You'll see that after a few weeks, you'll feel better because exercise boosts those "happy hormones" and helps your mental state, plus you'll be awake to catch an extra hour of daylight... it shortens that long period of darkness that drags us all into a funk.

4. Tackle the rest of your list one step at a time. You’ll be surprised at how much satisfaction you get from crossing things off—you're actually going to feel like you're winning.🙂

5. Once you've worked through that, go ahead and do something lovely for yourself to celebrate. Treat yourself! Or maybe sign up for that class you've always wanted to take. Listen to music, dance, pick up an instrument, try photography... maybe after a while, you'll find a creative outlet where you can channel those negative emotions outward instead of turning them against yourself or keeping them bottled up inside.

And please, keep checking in here so we can follow along with your journey and hopefully see you making progress...