Posts by mistyranger42

I guess I just struggle with people in general. Like, good people are fine, but even a useful tool is no good if it's cutting your throat.

But when you mix stupidity with actual malice? That just totally destroys me.

silentpilot6 said:I’ll admit this topic feels a bit discriminatory, but I also find it incredibly real and, frankly, quite an interesting question to pose.

To give you a specific example... I have a neighbor who is a lovely, attractive woman 🙂, but she has two cases of schizophrenia in her immediate family—her mother and her uncle. Since we know this condition can be hereditary in many instances, would I enter a relationship with someone like her? To be honest, I wouldn't... both because of her own potential struggles and the risk that our children (if we ever reached that stage 😁) might inherit it too.
With all due respect to those living with the illness, I wouldn't knowingly start a relationship with someone who is either currently struggling or faces a very high probability of developing it.
Of course, I realize it's a completely different story if I were already in a committed relationship where we were deeply in love 😍 and then discovered these facts later on...

🙏😲
Based on this post, you could conclude that people with mental illnesses—or those with a family history—should probably try to hide their condition from someone they want to be with, wait until they hook up and fall in love, and then reveal the truth, because then it would be a different story altogether.

We could probably argue about whether a person who thinks that way is even "normal."🙄

fadedbear92 said:day in and day out

As soon as I read the post about that song, it just hit me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SObMc56OhWQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NnAurbooKM

I mean, please, everyone... just show up for the local elections. Show them what you think. Deny them their vote and give someone else a chance. Even if it feels kind of pointless, maybe we can at least punish them for everything they've done by making sure they don't stay in power.

Patrick Johnson8 said:My best friend is a complicated guy. He’s sharp, knows how to work a room, and gets along with everyone... I often feel like he only hangs out with me because he’s bored, and honestly, I can tell he looks down on me. Hard to blame him, though. I don't really have any qualities people tend to value. I just have the ones nobody cares about. Patience is one of them.

I feel lonely because I really am just built differently. How do I put it... if there’s a basket of Hershey’s bars and one single Lindt truffle, I’m picking the Lindt just because I want to see what it’s like. Everyone else just grabs the Hershey’s because that's what they're used to.
Obviously, you shouldn't lose hope. I haven't. At least, I don't think I have.
I spend my time browsing the web.😢
I like wolves, cats, cows, pigs, sheep... especially birds. But I can't keep them in my apartment.

So, you mean a popular, charming type?
I guess you actually like those traits—the charm and being quick-witted, right?
Maybe try working on those things yourself? You could practice in low-stakes situations, like, I don't know, cracking a little joke to the cashier at Target when you're buying something.
And hey, patience is actually a huge deal. Smart people really value that.
But I suppose the thing about socializing is that people naturally gravitate toward folks who are easy to be around—people with those smaller virtues, like kindness, a good mood, or just being approachable and charming.
A lot of people who have tons of deep, meaningful qualities aren't actually "popular" because they haven't developed those lighter social skills.

Patrick Johnson8 said:My best friend is a complicated guy. He’s sharp, knows how to work a room, and gets along with everyone... I often feel like he only hangs out with me because he’s bored, and honestly, I can tell he looks down on me. Hard to blame him, though. I don't really have any qualities people tend to value. I just have the ones nobody cares about. Patience is one of them.

I feel lonely because I really am just built differently. How do I put it... if there’s a basket of Hershey’s bars and one single Lindt truffle, I’m picking the Lindt just because I want to see what it’s like. Everyone else just grabs the Hershey’s because that's what they're used to.
Obviously, you shouldn't lose hope. I haven't. At least, I don't think I have.
I spend my time browsing the web.😢
I like wolves, cats, cows, pigs, sheep... especially birds. But I can't keep them in my apartment.

That example you gave... I guess it shows you're curious. You seem to have this adventurous streak, like you think for yourself instead of just following the crowd. You actually enjoy being an individual and not just another face in the pack, which is honestly a great way to be.
People with those traits are often natural leaders, though they usually pair them with stuff like confidence, charm, or persistence...
Surfing the web is the path of least resistance, I guess. But someone who’s curious enough to pick the "different" chocolate should probably use that curiosity to find an activity that gets them out there and interacting with people.
There are all kinds of nonprofits where you could volunteer; helping others might actually help you too. There are even animal shelters, which would let you be around animals.
Maybe look into that.🙂
Real friends are out there waiting to meet you, but they aren't going to just jump out of your computer screen. You kind of have to take a step toward them.
Oh, and another thought—if you hit it off with someone on a forum and you've talked quite a bit, maybe suggest meeting up. If they're around your age, just ask without being pushy. And if they say no, don't take it hard. People can be cautious, but plenty of people meet online and become real-life friends.

Just keep knocking... I guess eventually a door will open.

Patrick Johnson8 said:An acquaintance is someone you see a few times here and there. A friend is someone you hang out with often, even if you aren't inseparable. A best friend is someone who's there through thick and thin.
I have plenty of acquaintances. No friends. I thought I had a best friend once, but turns out he was just a poser...
No family either...
And I can't have a pet...
😢

It’s just awful when someone you trusted and called your best friend lets you down, especially if you don't have anyone else to turn to.🙂
Maybe it was just some random misunderstanding that could be fixed, but I guess pride gets in the way?
Why can't you have a little pet, maybe something small?😕

Patrick Johnson8 said:Nothing really gets under my skin since I’m a pretty laid-back person... I don't spiral into depression, I just get hit by waves of melancholy every now and then, which feels normal enough to me...
It isn't a natural state, but you get used to it—kind of like an old man left all alone. It takes its toll. When you eventually have to start meeting people again, you just don't have the drive or the energy left in the tank...
Nobody strikes me as interesting enough to actually put in the effort to know them... that's why I say I feel lonely even when I'm surrounded by people...

People often feel lonely even when they're around others who are totally different from them, and after a best friend betrays you, it makes sense that you'd lose trust in people.
But I don't think that's a state you should just settle into or accept; you should never give up hope on finding a friendship and enjoying it.
What do you do for fun? Do you like any sports, or what are you usually interested in?
Since you like animals, maybe you could meet new people through that, like sharing interests.

Kenneth Campbell said:Isolation can stem from several different motivations...

Crisis management versus a state of permanent crisis. There needs to be a way to aggregate current issues, resolve them, and eventually return to the status quo... If we just settle into crisis mode, it becomes chronic...
Going rogue...

Schizoid personality structure—genuine schizoid personality, though some prefer calling it schizoid psychopathy. It’s characterized by an individual who, from early childhood, has consistently gravitated toward solitary pursuits, accompanied by a distinct pattern of affective disturbance...

3. Secondary schizoid personality structure. This occurs when an individual becomes vulnerable to specific emotional content—essentially a complex—due to various internal and external stressors. Because they lack the capacity to assimilate or process these complexes, they begin to accumulate them. Eventually, the buildup makes them almost impossible to deal with...
External triggers tend to act as catalysts for internal complexes. To avoid an imminent psychological breakdown caused by these activated tensions, an individual will often retreat into isolation as a defense mechanism. This results in a withdrawn, antisocial personality. Because their ego lacks the necessary structural integrity to navigate social settings, they frequently attempt to compensate for this deficit through metaphysical pursuits or an intense devotion to animals...

3. The paranoid personality structure...
Is it driven by internal or external factors? A person might choose solitude voluntarily, often fueled by a sense of vulnerability. That feeling becomes a primary driver for withdrawal, where one finds a certain security in isolation—safeguarding themselves through constant vigilance and the anticipation of potential threats...
Hypertrophied ego—or megalomania, if we’re being blunt—leads certain narcissistic personalities to believe they are fundamentally superior to everyone else. They convince themselves that others simply aren't worth their time because they're supposedly inferior in every conceivable way. In their minds, there’s just no point in even bothering to engage...

4. Neurotic personality disorders (anxiety, histrionic, phobic, depressive, etc.)

5. Depressive syndrome (no need for an explanation here)...

Does loneliness trigger schizophrenia? It depends on several variables... too many to list here. For a psychotic break to actually occur, certain elements have to align: a genetic predisposition, a schizoid temperament within one's own psychological makeup, and a "schizoid" environment. You know, that specific type of stress where you're constantly getting the wrong emotional responses from those closest to you... it just creates a perfect storm...
It’s possible from the very start, though certainly not a requirement...

And honestly, some people just lack the social skills or the social intelligence to actually build and keep connections... or they're just boring, I guess.

So, do you actually know what a vulnerable personality structure is?

Kenneth Campbell said:A significant number of people with schizophrenia actually exhibit high levels of extraversion. They are constantly engaging in social activities and communication, even if those interactions come across as awkward or bizarre...

Some people try to make contact with others, but it doesn't really work out for them...

Patrick Johnson8 said:No other issues. I just don't vibe with people or society. Felt this way my whole life. Honestly, I'd take a pet over ten "friends" who aren't actually there for you...

There’s actually a lot more of that than people realize. I mean, do you have even one close friend you actually feel okay with?
I doubt anyone can actually have ten true friends. Maybe you know a dozen people, but those are usually just surface-level things. Real friendship takes so much work and time to build, so it seems kind of crazy to think someone has ten actual best friends.
If you don't have a pet yet, maybe get one? Pets help lower stress and just make life better, I think. A turtle, a bird, or a rabbit isn't that hard to take care of, but they give back so much.🙂
I have this really stubborn rabbit.😍
But, I guess, hanging out with an animal shouldn't be seen as a total replacement for being around people.
The bond with an animal is just... it's totally different from a bond with another person.

Loneliness isn't good for anyone, that's for sure.
The worst kind is when you feel even more alone standing in a crowd than when you're actually by yourself. I guess maybe even people struggling with schizophrenia feel that isolation more when they're around others than when they're on their own.

Hi.👋
I guess I’d really like to invite some of our regulars here to take a look at my thread about auditory hallucinations. If you’ve ever dealt with anything similar, please, maybe share your thoughts or suggestions? It would honestly mean so much to me just to see how much my own experiences overlap with what people living with diagnosed schizophrenia go through. Thank you. 🙂
For me, the hardest diagnosis was acute psychosis—basically, psychosis of unknown origin.

Paul Morales6 said:Auditory hallucinations aren't just random noise; they’re more like direct commands or feeling like you've been tapped into someone else's phone call. You'll hear stuff about tomato prices spiking or people complaining about hip pain—basically, all the mindless nonsense you really don't want to be reading into. As for my meds, I'm currently on Haldol, Nozinan, Klonopin, Akinetical, and Lorazepam. And regarding self-harm? It's exactly like you said: the physical pain actually provides a sort of relief from the mental agony.

Thanks for reaching out, really.🙂
What I experience is totally different. It's never instructions or anything... it was just more like hearing people's comments about me coming from somewhere far away in space. Now, it's just this sound of a voice without any actual content. I never felt like I was hearing normal conversations, like the stuff about grocery prices or whatever.
Sometimes I'd imagine—like, I'd insert my own ideas into what others were saying—that a real conversation or some voices in the distance were actually talking about me.
It doesn't feel like there's a sender and a receiver, it's more like it just flows in from the distance, and it's hard to tell where it's coming from. But sometimes, a real sound makes it seem like a conversation. It's weird and just... hard to describe.

God, guys,
what really gets to me is how everything I find online about schizophrenia always points back to one thing: if you’re having hallucinations where you hear people talking about you, they just label it schizophrenia right away. They list all these symptoms, blah blah blah, but if you have that specific one, they say, "Yep, it's schizophrenia."
Right now, I'm not actually hearing full conversations, but I used to—now it's just... sounds, I guess.
Another thing that's weighing on me is that I'm way too focused on myself. I think I'm OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING AND NOT DOING ENOUGH, so I'm scared things won't turn out okay...
It's just so hard to motivate myself to take on work. Usually, once I'm actually working, I don't feel this way, but MAN, IT'S SO HARD TO JUST GET STARTED.

Joshua Lewis9 I guess... maybe just a thought.
I know, it’s really tough dealing with auditory hallucinations and when your mind starts playing tricks on you. I guess I’ve been doing okay keeping things under control lately, though. I'm sticking to my meds, and honestly, ever since I got home from St. Jude’s, the hallucinations have finally stopped. Actually, they haven't come back at all.☕I haven't really noticed things getting any worse... honestly, the situation feels pretty terrible. But actually, I think I'm doing better and better. I guess those things were just psychoses involving hallucinations, while shadow stuff is something else entirely. Mostly, it's just psychoses where there's some kind of conversation or a command telling you to do this or that. Or, I don't know, how should I even put this? It’s more like brainwashing when it comes to those psychoses.

I've actually never been hospitalized before. I honestly thought they were going to admit me when I first reached out to my psychiatrist, but they didn't. It’s not like I have schizophrenia or anything... the toughest thing I've dealt with was an acute psychosis diagnosis, I guess.
I guess I’m starting to "hear" this voice now... but there's no actual substance to it. Before, I used to hear full conversations, like people talking about me or making comments, you know? Right now, the only thing I'm taking is my medication.
Lexapro... I guess. I tried antipsychotics before, but they didn't really do much for the hallucinations. Not at all.
I don't really have those mental lapses or anything... I've never even heard of being told what to do, but I guess it just feels like a huge strain to deal with actual worries and put up with all this. It honestly scares me, because I feel like I'm starting to struggle more just to function and get my life organized.
I don't know, I just feel like I'm barely scraping by lately, both personally and at work. Like I'm constantly squeezing through this tiny needle's eye, you know? I guess I’m just worried that one day it’s all going to fall apart... and then I won't even be able to force myself to do half of what I'm managing to pull off right now.
I guess I don't know if it even matters that I'm 32.
I guess the hallucinations started showing up maybe five years ago.

Bog Dassder, I actually started a thread a while back about auditory hallucinations because, unfortunately, they're something I struggle with. Maybe you saw it when it was up, but you never really got a chance to reply. I tried to explain what it feels like, which medications I've used to try and manage it, and even some of the goals I've managed to hit despite everything. I’d honestly love it if you could share a post about your own experiences with hallucinations, maybe so we can compare notes—either here or on "my" thread.
If it's too much to talk about, please don't worry, I totally get it and won't hold it against you. 🙂
I reached out to Dasder since his post was the last one, but it would mean so much if anyone else diagnosed with schizophrenia would reach out.

Thanks so much in advance. 🙂