Posts by Michael Booth3

Fate... is it something like I’m here for a reason, but I haven't figured out why just yet? Or maybe it's more like Event A happened because of Event B, which was triggered by Event C, so obviously fate is responsible for me landing at Point X—which is really just the sum of all those various fated moments? No thanks... feels a bit too religious for my taste (:

Jokes aside... I hate labeling things as "fate." There's this risk that I take some totally mundane occurrence during a tragicomic moment and slap the title of "destiny" on it, only to realize a second later that I've assigned it way too much weight. I end up ruining whatever small joy that moment could have given me just because I decided it was significant. Because "fate" sounds so overblown. Too heavy, too cold. Honestly, a little megalomaniacal. On the other hand... calling something a coincidence? That feels warm and sweet. It feels kind. It feels lucky. Like... if something wonderful happens to me, out of everyone else in the world, I can just enjoy that random moment or that accidental gift without being weighed down by questions about why it chose me or what the cosmic repercussions might be.

And honestly, "coincidence" sounds better even when things go south. What if something bad happens? If I start wondering who I offended or what I did to deserve being punished with such nonsense? Or worse, using "fate" as an excuse to justify someone's bad behavior—claiming they just had to suffer through it that way because it was meant to be? Give me a break... (:

It’s honestly laughable (:
And here I am, still dropping pearls of wisdom in front of swine (:
Enough is enough

neonhound10 said:Good grief, does everyone in this crazy world seriously have to be someone I like?

That really has nothing to do with racism...

I was just pointing out why Otto got what was coming to him.

"The former coach was sued by Kick It Out, an organization that uses soccer to fight racism in the USA."

But I guess we know better than the rest of the country, don't we?

neonhound10 said:Look, think about it this way: you have certain people who just aren't your cup of tea and they get on your nerves. So, you decide to throw a party, and you tell those specific people you don't want them there.

Where is the insult in that?

It's your life, your party, and your choice...

The term "homo" covers a much broader spectrum than that.

neonhound10 said:Honestly, I don't really care about them personally, it just bothers me to see certain people getting all their rights handed to them while everyone else loses theirs...

Take Otto, for instance, who was punished in a way that basically stripped him of his right to speak his mind.

I mean, what’s actually wrong with saying he wouldn't want gay people in his ranks? That's just his own opinion, and he wasn't out there insulting anyone specifically...

When was the first time you actually heard the word racism? Not just seeing it on a news ticker or hearing some pundit shout it on CNN during prime time, but when did it first actually sink in? Was it one of those heavy conversations at the dinner table, or just something that drifted through the air while you were watching a movie? It’s one of those words that carries so much weight, yet we toss it around like it's nothing. Does anyone else feel like the definition keeps shifting depending on who's doing the talking? Just wondering.

neonhound10 said:Well, we can't just go around relativizing this issue so easily, if nothing else for the sake of survival and ensuring the continuation of the species... unless you all decide not to take any initiative and just find some lesbian to hook up with instead.

So, I guess it’s better not to look at it from another angle because apparently, that's impossible...

But what I am actually curious about—I mean, I can wrap my head around how those guys meet, but how on earth do they decide who takes charge and who follows, or rather, who plays which role in the relationship???

That’s exactly what I was getting at.
You can't just play fast and loose with this. It doesn't matter if you're looking at it from a queer perspective or a straight one—you can't just rationalize it away like that. Is anyone actually buying this? No. You can't just shift the goalposts depending on which side of the aisle you're standing on. It’s all just noise.
So, you want to take all that "simplicity" you’re preaching about and twist it just enough to favor one side? Fine. If you want to narrow your vision like that, that's on you. It's just a matter of how small you're willing to be.

neonhound10 said:Well, we can't just go around relativizing this issue so easily, if nothing else for the sake of survival and ensuring the continuation of the species... unless you all decide not to take any initiative and just find some lesbian to hook up with instead.

So, I guess it’s better not to look at it from another angle because apparently, that's impossible...

But what I am actually curious about—I mean, I can wrap my head around how those guys meet, but how on earth do they decide who takes charge and who follows, or rather, who plays which role in the relationship???

So, people have actually convinced themselves that homosexual individuals are somehow responsible for the extinction of our species. Can you believe that? It’s one of those things where you just stop and wonder how we got here. Is that really what we're doing now? Blaming a specific group for the end of the world? It feels like such a tired, desperate reach. Just one more way to point fingers when everything else starts falling apart. Makes you think, doesn't it?
Before we all end up as collateral damage in some massive war, I suppose there's nothing left to do but wait. Is anyone actually surprised? It feels like we're just circling the drain at this point.

neonhound10 said:Well, we can't just go around relativizing this issue so easily, if nothing else for the sake of survival and ensuring the continuation of the species... unless you all decide not to take any initiative and just find some lesbian to hook up with instead.

So, I guess it’s better not to look at it from another angle because apparently, that's impossible...

But what I am actually curious about—I mean, I can wrap my head around how those guys meet, but how on earth do they decide who takes charge and who follows, or rather, who plays which role in the relationship???

Just another narrow-minded take from you. Seriously? Is that really how we're looking at this?
A gay relationship? It's just a connection between two men. That's really all there is to it, isn't it? Just two guys involved with one another. Simple enough, I suppose. Or maybe it isn't. Who am I kidding? Everything is complicated if you stare at it long enough.
What’s really the point of trying to transfer an entire understanding of male-female dynamics into a relationship where there isn't even a woman present? Why bother?

Donna Sullivan7 said:I kind of see where everyone else is coming from, but I wouldn't go as far as calling this deviation some kind of mental illness... honestly, you never really know what kind of hormonal hand Mother Nature is gonna deal you. Like, it happens all the time—hormonal imbalances or issues with the pituitary gland and how that feedback loop works. You’ve got tons of people dealing with hypogonadism, which leads to low testosterone in men, or an excess of androgens, basically shifting things toward female hormones. So, it actually makes sense that someone might be more attracted to their own sex under those circumstances. It’s super manageable with modern medicine nowadays, though. There are plenty of theories and real-world cases out there if anyone's actually curious, but I'll leave it at that...

And that could easily be one reason why someone ends up being gay.
But it's just one piece of a much larger puzzle.
Otherwise, you'd assume every gay man was hyper-feminized and every straight guy was some sort of over-the-top macho caricature.
Which, obviously, isn't how reality works.

I can't stand it when everything is viewed through a single lens
here is how things might look from a different angle

"A person isn't born heterosexual; you become heterosexual later on."

what kind of trauma did you have to endure in your life to end up heterosexual?
what kind of shameful way did your parents raise you to make you turn toward that side?

I hope you managed to catch my point
you can't just attribute something like this to homosexuality without acknowledging it holds true for heterosexuality too

and I can tell you from firsthand experience that I have a perfectly good, healthy relationship with—believe it or not—both of my parents
and the upbringing I received from them was flawless

but let me offer you a little concession
not because of your lovely rhetoric or any particular stance of yours
but simply because it is one possibility among many
sure, there are probably people who developed a phobia of the opposite sex due to some underlying trauma
yes, there may be those among them who were victims of violence or abuse within their own families
but!
that cannot be, and is not, the sole or exclusive way homosexual individuals "come to be"
broaden your horizons a little
meet someone from that community
take a look at one of their forums
ask them whatever you want to know
and don't forget your manners
just imagine if I closed my eyes right now and, based solely on your perspective, started calling all other heterosexuals the most primitive people alive—people I can't even keep track of anymore because they're so hidden
it isn't exactly pleasant, is it?

and stop dreaming about all that other nonsense
it’s nothing more than a tool for global numbing

Grace White10 said:I wasn't trying to be evasive at all; I simply assumed this forum was an open community, and I had no idea that posting in one section somehow stripped me of the right to participate in another
And I am not playing the victim—I just sincerely hope you never have to endure what I am going through, because if you don't, you will never truly grasp why I feel this way or why all of this is happening

The issue is how things are presented. You cherry-picked the facts on those two subforums to create a totally skewed picture.
But honestly? It feels pointless to keep explaining how I see things. There's no use.
So, I think it's probably smarter if I just shut up about this whole thing.
Don't misinterpret my tone here.
It's just... the vibe was off. And it was real.

Grace White10 said:Okay, here I am, reading, thinking... maybe I will, maybe I won't. Finally decided to post. I'm not looking for solutions. I'm not hunting for answers. Maybe just a little conversation.
We’ve been married for six years. That relationship felt perfect the moment I met him, but then again, I was only eighteen. Maybe I wasn't being realistic. I admit it—I loved him, and I still do. He was my best friend before anything else. We have two beautiful girls who brighten my life every single day. Honestly, I don't know how it all started. Maybe I just didn't see it because I was blinded by love, or maybe he truly changed into someone else. There were arguments, sure—not that any relationship is perfectly flawless. But now, ten years later, I'm seeing things through a different lens. First off, my husband has an issue with alcohol. Not that he's wasted constantly, but he drinks every single day, even when he's alone. And when he's drinking, he becomes rude, insulting, and abusive to everyone around him. I used to think, okay, he had a drink, I'll just stay quiet until tomorrow. But it’s becoming his constant state. The insults, the outbursts, the lack of patience... I can't talk to him about anything normal anymore. He even lashes out at the kids for no reason, just because they get on his nerves. To make a long story short, there's been stuff like being kicked out of the house, him throwing it in my face that he supports me since I wasn't working—and now that I have a job, he's cheating. He even threatened to kill me and the kids. But he was drunk, so I didn't take it seriously. I suggested we talk, suggested therapy, but he just says there's nothing to talk about and starts yelling. It's like, fine, let's "talk" then. Every man who approaches me is someone he's actually intimidated by. I'm attractive; people notice me. But where am I in all this? Does being noticed mean I'm supposed to jump into bed with them immediately? I've never given him cause for that; I don't even consider myself particularly pretty, and I don't look at men that way. But what does his behavior say about how he views me? I wonder where my man went, the one I loved and wanted to grow old with... I look at him and ask, who is this? Am I seeing him clearly for the first time? Is this just now opening my eyes? I wonder if I love him, if he loves me—he says he does, and sometimes he shows it. He can be the gentlest soul in the world for months, and then one scene happens and I'm left wondering what kind of love this even is. He's never physically hit me, but he's so aggressive, and his words hurt so much that I'd honestly rather take a slap than deal with this verbal onslaught. I used to cry for nights after our fights while he would sleep like a baby. Now, I don't even cry anymore. I just stay silent to avoid another fight, but as the days go by, I feel myself disappearing. I ask myself what the point is, if I'm losing my mind. I don't even care about the hugs or the kisses when they aren't there anyway, yet I stay with him for some reason I can't explain. Am I really crazy??!!!!!

Grace White10 said:I find myself looking back over the last ten years—how quickly they’ve simply slipped through my fingers...
And I realize that I practically slept through them all, retreating so deeply into myself that I couldn't truly feel or even see what was happening right in front of me.
For the longest time, I lived like a shadow—not happy, not unhappy, just... hollow. It wasn't that I lacked depth; I had so much to give—so much love, such fierce loyalty, a capacity for understanding that felt endless...
Yet, looking back now, all I received in return were indignities, insults, the occasional fake smile, and those cold, hollow embraces. It is a bitter thing—when you give absolutely everything you have, when you never demand or question, when you love unconditionally and pour your entire soul into what you believe in, only for life to punch you right in the gut.!!!!
I feel disillusioned, utterly betrayed,
And then, finally, happiness arrives. A single look, an honest gaze, a smile meant only for me, a faithful kiss, and the most wonderful soul in existence.
At last, I recognize what true love looks like—but instead of embracing it, I run. I am constantly at war with myself because, God knows, I want to be happy; I want everything this life has to offer, yet there is this one singular decision standing in my way. I need to turn my back on the past, say my goodbyes, and move forward with different people—better people, more deserving people who actually merit everything I have to give—and yet, I find myself unable to do it.!!!!
Why is it that even when I want it so desperately, even when I know that if I don't act, I am losing everything that constitutes happiness for me?
I know deep down that I have to leave—there is nothing holding me here—and I know I will eventually go because I must, but I dread the thought of waiting until it is too late, until I lose this beautiful present for the sake of something that brings nothing but tears!
It feels as though I am standing in quicksand; I am thrashing, desperate to get out, but my feet won't move.
How does one actually turn the page to a new chapter? A chapter I am certain is brighter and more beautiful than the last? What is it that keeps me tethered here, preventing me from walking away?!!!!
I sometimes think perhaps it would be better if I weren't here at all—if I simply ceased to exist—because I have no desire to hurt the person I love so much, yet that is exactly what I am doing.
So I sit here, crying and screaming internally, acting like a complete coward, searching for ways to just disappear.😳

Start a thread on one subforum just to come over and play the victim on another one.
No beginning, no end.
Not even a hint of what the actual problem is.
Woooow...
Can I ask, what's the point?
If you wanted to use this place as your personal blog, you should have just said so.
I wouldn't waste my breath.

p.s. I really love my intuition...
I knew you were dragging things out somehow, I just didn't realize how. (:

it’d be pretty damn boring if you actually agreed with me all the time, wouldn't it? (:

You left out the part where this isn't actually about you.
Even though your phrasing practically begged for a response.
My compass is set by the original author's post,
but I suppose I can't help but quote you again.

Jose Anderson55 said:Look, I’m sorry, but it really isn't that simple for me; I've been burned far too many times in my life, and honestly, if it were just about heartbreak, things would be a lot easier. You know that old cliché about whether it's better to love and lose than never to love at all? 😍 Well, because of everything I've been through, letting my guard down feels almost impossible. I'm fiercely loyal, whether it's in a relationship or just a friendship, and that's really all I ever ask for in return—just a small sign that the feeling is mutual. The second I realize it isn't there, I pull back. I know it sounds foolish, but I just can't do it anymore...

Oh, it really is that simple.
But people have this pathological need to overcomplicate things, don't they?
It’s like they're under the impression that you can't solve a problem with just a few words—metaphorically speaking.
Because how could anyone possibly cram something as "complex" as their own feelings into a handful of trivial sentences?
No, no... they have to drag everything out into the light, even the stuff that is completely useless.
And then what? They spend the rest of the day whimpering over their own words,
waiting for everyone else to start whimpering along with them.
I guess it doesn't matter if you have decades of life left to waste on self-pity and circling the drain like a lost cat.
(I'm not trying to strip anyone of their supposed complexity; you just need boundaries.)

Jose Anderson55 said:Look, I’m sorry, but it really isn't that simple for me; I've been burned far too many times in my life, and honestly, if it were just about heartbreak, things would be a lot easier. You know that old cliché about whether it's better to love and lose than never to love at all? 😍 Well, because of everything I've been through, letting my guard down feels almost impossible. I'm fiercely loyal, whether it's in a relationship or just a friendship, and that's really all I ever ask for in return—just a small sign that the feeling is mutual. The second I realize it isn't there, I pull back. I know it sounds foolish, but I just can't do it anymore...

See... this is very simple.
Yet somehow, you managed to make it complicated.
How? Why?
Because staying in a situation when "that thing" is missing isn't foolish.
Staying is what's foolish.

Now I find myself wondering... what exactly led you to identify so closely with the author?
Just based on the idea of pulling away or moving closer?
Because if that's the case... look at it... you withdraw the second there is even the slightest hint that the person lacks love or friendship—loyalty, in this case.
And this is the very person she's talking about.

Jose Anderson55 said:Look, I’m sorry, but it really isn't that simple for me; I've been burned far too many times in my life, and honestly, if it were just about heartbreak, things would be a lot easier. You know that old cliché about whether it's better to love and lose than never to love at all? 😍 Well, because of everything I've been through, letting my guard down feels almost impossible. I'm fiercely loyal, whether it's in a relationship or just a friendship, and that's really all I ever ask for in return—just a small sign that the feeling is mutual. The second I realize it isn't there, I pull back. I know it sounds foolish, but I just can't do it anymore...

Jose Anderson55 said:Don't go losing sleep over what everyone else thinks, because honestly, until you've lived through it yourself, it's hard to wrap your head around it—and even when it's happening to you, it's just as tough to process. I get where you're coming from, I really do, but there isn't much I can do to fix this for you; you're going to have to navigate your own way out of it.

It’s always easier to just shut someone out than it is to let them in and sit around waiting for the inevitable heartbreak, though I know how heavy it feels when you're already nursing old wounds. But you’re going to have to turn the page eventually, otherwise you'll just end up wasting another decade staring at a blank wall, and I know you don't want that.

I've been wrestling with these same demons for pretty much my entire life... 😘

So, maybe that makes sense, or maybe it doesn't, but I'm hoping we're on the same page here.

Does anyone ever stop to think about how much that actually hurts the other person—the ones being rejected?
Or is everyone too wrapped up in their own little bubble of pain?

Fine, let me not suffer.
I'll just flirt a little bit, keep things surface-level, and then bail before anyone gets the chance to hurt me. That's the plan, right?

The only thing that really gets under my skin... is this blatant disregard people show when they try to justify avoiding pain—both their own and everyone else's—by hiding behind these "higher" ideals. They ignore what's right in front of them. You can't dance the tango alone. If there's no partner, you don't need to step away. So, if the tango is happening, either don't start it, or stop pulling your feet away once it's already begun. It all comes down to basic maturity, doesn't it? Without it, every single relationship is just a slow-motion train wreck.

Which is why I'm telling you again, >...
Drop the poetic language you used to dress up your first post.
Forget the aesthetics.
Stop using all that emotional filler to patch up the gaps between your points.
Just call the problem what it is, in a rational, blunt way.
The more you try to beautify the issue with all those pretty emotions, the worse it gets.
Because instead of showing how messy the problem actually is, you end up creating this silly, elevated vibe that almost makes the whole situation seem noble.

Grace White10 said:Perhaps it all seems like some big joke to you people, but I can assure you—it isn't even remotely funny to me!
Well, I suppose that was my own mistake

I'm hoping my comment didn't come across as mocking
but honestly? you should probably just go back and read your own post again
try to be as objective as possible about it
just try to condense the whole thing into one single, simple sentence
find the actual point, the core conclusion
I know you're capable of it, so I don't think I'm asking for much

Is there really any point in making things more complicated than they need to be?