Dealing with homosexuality in the family: How to handle it?

I was watching Sasha on ABC the other day talking about gay people, and I really liked what this one guy said—basically, you aren't born gay, you become gay later on.

It’s kind of like how nobody is born a schizophrenic or an alcoholic, right?
That stuff develops as you go through life.

Personally, I think he hit the nail on the head
and that everything boils down to the family dynamic—you know, the psychological side of things and how kids are raised.

It’s a bummer that they didn't bring any parents of gay kids onto the show to talk.

I feel like we really ought to be asking parents about their upbringing styles and how they handled things at home.

Like, do any of these gay guys actually have a healthy, solid relationship with both their mom and dad?

In my opinion, anyone who ends up being gay is dealing with some kind of trauma from their childhood—whether it's something they're aware of or just some repressed thing buried deep down—and that’s where the root of it all lies.

A little five-year-old boy could experience a trauma if, say, his father passes away and he grows up without him, leaving him with just a super dominant mother.

Down the road, that could lead to him being gay.

I could probably come up with a ton of other examples.
For instance, maybe a four-year-old girl is being seduced by her dad through certain words, looks, or gestures... (and I don't necessarily mean physical assault), which just makes her lose all respect for men entirely.

What do you guys reckon?

I think you’ve got your wires crossed here... Are you seriously trying to lump homosexuality into the same category as schizophrenia or alcoholism?😲 OMG!

Science still hasn't fully cracked the code on homosexuality, but the conversation is shifting. People aren't talking about upbringing nearly as much as they are about genetic and hormonal drivers. That’s likely where the real answers lie.

Since homosexuality was stripped from the DSM back in 1973, the scientific consensus has been clear: it isn't a disorder or an illness. Because of that, there's really no point in pushing therapies or lecturing parents on how to "fix" it.

There was this one case involving a young boy who suffered severe genital damage during surgery. His parents agreed to have his male anatomy completely removed and replaced with female organs, intending to raise him as a girl through hormone therapy. Things got complicated during puberty, though—the child started feeling more like a boy, struggling with their identity, and eventually transitioned back to their biological sex. It just goes to show the limits of parenting; you can't force a personality into a mold you've designed.

Samuel Nelson24 said:I was watching Sasha on ABC the other day talking about gay people, and I really liked what this one guy said—basically, you aren't born gay, you become gay later on.

It’s kind of like how nobody is born a schizophrenic or an alcoholic, right?
That stuff develops as you go through life.

Personally, I think he hit the nail on the head
and that everything boils down to the family dynamic—you know, the psychological side of things and how kids are raised.

It’s a bummer that they didn't bring any parents of gay kids onto the show to talk.

I feel like we really ought to be asking parents about their upbringing styles and how they handled things at home.

Like, do any of these gay guys actually have a healthy, solid relationship with both their mom and dad?

In my opinion, anyone who ends up being gay is dealing with some kind of trauma from their childhood—whether it's something they're aware of or just some repressed thing buried deep down—and that’s where the root of it all lies.

A little five-year-old boy could experience a trauma if, say, his father passes away and he grows up without him, leaving him with just a super dominant mother.

Down the road, that could lead to him being gay.

I could probably come up with a ton of other examples.
For instance, maybe a four-year-old girl is being seduced by her dad through certain words, looks, or gestures... (and I don't necessarily mean physical assault), which just makes her lose all respect for men entirely.

What do you guys reckon?

First of all, Sarah's shows aren't particularly substantive, and secondly, I think you are completely mistaken.

Look, I’m straight, but I don't see things your way—I definitely don't view homosexuality as some kind of sickness..
As for how they get along with their parents? Honestly, I couldn't tell you. But the real issue usually boils down to pure, old-school small-town mentality—that whole "what's the neighbors gonna think" vibe. In most cases, it’s not even the parents who have an issue with their kid being gay...

you’re going to end up just like Otto

I’m with Roger Evans on this one—the environment you're in is easily the biggest hurdle. I know this firsthand because I’m gay myself. Even though my mom is completely cool with it, I still find myself being incredibly careful about what I say and where I say it. It’s just a reflex at this point.

To take it a step further... there was a time when homosexuality was categorized as a disease or some kind of disorder. But nowadays, that perspective is largely being phased out. Unless you’re dealing with one of those stubborn, Stone Age psychiatrists who refuses to move with the times, being gay isn't classified as a mental illness or a psychological disorder anymore.

I can't stand it when everything is viewed through a single lens
here is how things might look from a different angle

"A person isn't born heterosexual; you become heterosexual later on."

what kind of trauma did you have to endure in your life to end up heterosexual?
what kind of shameful way did your parents raise you to make you turn toward that side?

I hope you managed to catch my point
you can't just attribute something like this to homosexuality without acknowledging it holds true for heterosexuality too

and I can tell you from firsthand experience that I have a perfectly good, healthy relationship with—believe it or not—both of my parents
and the upbringing I received from them was flawless

but let me offer you a little concession
not because of your lovely rhetoric or any particular stance of yours
but simply because it is one possibility among many
sure, there are probably people who developed a phobia of the opposite sex due to some underlying trauma
yes, there may be those among them who were victims of violence or abuse within their own families
but!
that cannot be, and is not, the sole or exclusive way homosexual individuals "come to be"
broaden your horizons a little
meet someone from that community
take a look at one of their forums
ask them whatever you want to know
and don't forget your manners
just imagine if I closed my eyes right now and, based solely on your perspective, started calling all other heterosexuals the most primitive people alive—people I can't even keep track of anymore because they're so hidden
it isn't exactly pleasant, is it?

and stop dreaming about all that other nonsense
it’s nothing more than a tool for global numbing

I kind of see where everyone else is coming from, but I wouldn't go as far as calling this deviation some kind of mental illness... honestly, you never really know what kind of hormonal hand Mother Nature is gonna deal you. Like, it happens all the time—hormonal imbalances or issues with the pituitary gland and how that feedback loop works. You’ve got tons of people dealing with hypogonadism, which leads to low testosterone in men, or an excess of androgens, basically shifting things toward female hormones. So, it actually makes sense that someone might be more attracted to their own sex under those circumstances. It’s super manageable with modern medicine nowadays, though. There are plenty of theories and real-world cases out there if anyone's actually curious, but I'll leave it at that...

Donna Sullivan7 said:I kind of see where everyone else is coming from, but I wouldn't go as far as calling this deviation some kind of mental illness... honestly, you never really know what kind of hormonal hand Mother Nature is gonna deal you. Like, it happens all the time—hormonal imbalances or issues with the pituitary gland and how that feedback loop works. You’ve got tons of people dealing with hypogonadism, which leads to low testosterone in men, or an excess of androgens, basically shifting things toward female hormones. So, it actually makes sense that someone might be more attracted to their own sex under those circumstances. It’s super manageable with modern medicine nowadays, though. There are plenty of theories and real-world cases out there if anyone's actually curious, but I'll leave it at that...

And that could easily be one reason why someone ends up being gay.
But it's just one piece of a much larger puzzle.
Otherwise, you'd assume every gay man was hyper-feminized and every straight guy was some sort of over-the-top macho caricature.
Which, obviously, isn't how reality works.

I find myself largely in agreement with the original poster (though I am not particularly fond of that specific TV show).
From what I have observed, nearly all gay individuals I know grew up in households where certain fundamental elements were missing—perhaps they were raised by a single parent, or maybe there was significant friction between their parents.
I would not go so far as to call it a disease, though I suppose one could view it as some type of disorder. I don't hold any animosity toward gay people (except, perhaps, for those who feel the need to be exhibitionists in public), but I suspect only they truly understand the circumstances that led them here. To suggest that being gay and being straight are identical is, I think, a bit of a delusion, as nature seems to indicate something quite different.
That said, I genuinely want everyone to find happiness, even if that path involves a same-sex relationship. However, I believe people should recognize and accept their own uniqueness rather than treating sexual orientation as an interchangeable choice. After all, we aren't animals; I guess what draws us to others is primarily an emotional connection rather than just a sexual one.

Michael Booth3 said:I can't stand it when everything is viewed through a single lens
here is how things might look from a different angle

"A person isn't born heterosexual; you become heterosexual later on."

what kind of trauma did you have to endure in your life to end up heterosexual?
what kind of shameful way did your parents raise you to make you turn toward that side?

I hope you managed to catch my point
you can't just attribute something like this to homosexuality without acknowledging it holds true for heterosexuality too

and I can tell you from firsthand experience that I have a perfectly good, healthy relationship with—believe it or not—both of my parents
and the upbringing I received from them was flawless

but let me offer you a little concession
not because of your lovely rhetoric or any particular stance of yours
but simply because it is one possibility among many
sure, there are probably people who developed a phobia of the opposite sex due to some underlying trauma
yes, there may be those among them who were victims of violence or abuse within their own families
but!
that cannot be, and is not, the sole or exclusive way homosexual individuals "come to be"
broaden your horizons a little
meet someone from that community
take a look at one of their forums
ask them whatever you want to know
and don't forget your manners
just imagine if I closed my eyes right now and, based solely on your perspective, started calling all other heterosexuals the most primitive people alive—people I can't even keep track of anymore because they're so hidden
it isn't exactly pleasant, is it?

and stop dreaming about all that other nonsense
it’s nothing more than a tool for global numbing

Well, we can't just go around relativizing this issue so easily, if nothing else for the sake of survival and ensuring the continuation of the species... unless you all decide not to take any initiative and just find some lesbian to hook up with instead.

So, I guess it’s better not to look at it from another angle because apparently, that's impossible...

But what I am actually curious about—I mean, I can wrap my head around how those guys meet, but how on earth do they decide who takes charge and who follows, or rather, who plays which role in the relationship???

It strikes me as somewhat absurd when people discuss homosexuality as if it were some modern phenomenon... as if it’s just a byproduct of a decadent society. In reality, it is common knowledge that homosexuality has existed since the dawn of time.
The only genuine shift is that, in previous eras, people simply didn't speak about it openly—mostly because it was mischaracterized as a sickness, a mental disorder, or even the influence of "dark forces," as the old guard used to say. Today, we actually have a dialogue.
Essentially, through the influence of religious institutions and similar organizations—whose primary goal seems to be keeping the masses in a state of confusion—this theory was manufactured: the idea that it isn't normal and requires "treatment."

Yet, unfortunately, it still feels like we live in a world where if something deviates from the norm—if it’s something the "average" person can't wrap their head around or personally relate to—then the immediate instinct is to try and root it out entirely.

Honestly, I don't really care about them personally, it just bothers me to see certain people getting all their rights handed to them while everyone else loses theirs...

Take Otto, for instance, who was punished in a way that basically stripped him of his right to speak his mind.

I mean, what’s actually wrong with saying he wouldn't want gay people in his ranks? That's just his own opinion, and he wasn't out there insulting anyone specifically...

neonhound10 said:Well, we can't just go around relativizing this issue so easily, if nothing else for the sake of survival and ensuring the continuation of the species... unless you all decide not to take any initiative and just find some lesbian to hook up with instead.

So, I guess it’s better not to look at it from another angle because apparently, that's impossible...

But what I am actually curious about—I mean, I can wrap my head around how those guys meet, but how on earth do they decide who takes charge and who follows, or rather, who plays which role in the relationship???

That’s exactly what I was getting at.
You can't just play fast and loose with this. It doesn't matter if you're looking at it from a queer perspective or a straight one—you can't just rationalize it away like that. Is anyone actually buying this? No. You can't just shift the goalposts depending on which side of the aisle you're standing on. It’s all just noise.
So, you want to take all that "simplicity" you’re preaching about and twist it just enough to favor one side? Fine. If you want to narrow your vision like that, that's on you. It's just a matter of how small you're willing to be.

neonhound10 said:Well, we can't just go around relativizing this issue so easily, if nothing else for the sake of survival and ensuring the continuation of the species... unless you all decide not to take any initiative and just find some lesbian to hook up with instead.

So, I guess it’s better not to look at it from another angle because apparently, that's impossible...

But what I am actually curious about—I mean, I can wrap my head around how those guys meet, but how on earth do they decide who takes charge and who follows, or rather, who plays which role in the relationship???

So, people have actually convinced themselves that homosexual individuals are somehow responsible for the extinction of our species. Can you believe that? It’s one of those things where you just stop and wonder how we got here. Is that really what we're doing now? Blaming a specific group for the end of the world? It feels like such a tired, desperate reach. Just one more way to point fingers when everything else starts falling apart. Makes you think, doesn't it?
Before we all end up as collateral damage in some massive war, I suppose there's nothing left to do but wait. Is anyone actually surprised? It feels like we're just circling the drain at this point.

neonhound10 said:Well, we can't just go around relativizing this issue so easily, if nothing else for the sake of survival and ensuring the continuation of the species... unless you all decide not to take any initiative and just find some lesbian to hook up with instead.

So, I guess it’s better not to look at it from another angle because apparently, that's impossible...

But what I am actually curious about—I mean, I can wrap my head around how those guys meet, but how on earth do they decide who takes charge and who follows, or rather, who plays which role in the relationship???

Just another narrow-minded take from you. Seriously? Is that really how we're looking at this?
A gay relationship? It's just a connection between two men. That's really all there is to it, isn't it? Just two guys involved with one another. Simple enough, I suppose. Or maybe it isn't. Who am I kidding? Everything is complicated if you stare at it long enough.
What’s really the point of trying to transfer an entire understanding of male-female dynamics into a relationship where there isn't even a woman present? Why bother?

neonhound10 said:Honestly, I don't really care about them personally, it just bothers me to see certain people getting all their rights handed to them while everyone else loses theirs...

Take Otto, for instance, who was punished in a way that basically stripped him of his right to speak his mind.

I mean, what’s actually wrong with saying he wouldn't want gay people in his ranks? That's just his own opinion, and he wasn't out there insulting anyone specifically...

So, he didn't actually offend anyone? Really?😲

So, what about gay men? Or am I just supposed to act like they don't exist in your worldview?

Let someone else take the lead on this one. Good morning. The real reason he’s refusing to let any gay men join his ranks... aside from the obvious homophobia, of course.

slywolf45 said:So, he didn't actually offend anyone? Really?😲

So, what about gay men? Or am I just supposed to act like they don't exist in your worldview?

Let someone else take the lead on this one. Good morning. The real reason he’s refusing to let any gay men join his ranks... aside from the obvious homophobia, of course.

They'd be too busy staring at the opponents' butts to actually play a decent game.

That's just how they are. They're always looking for an opening to sneak one in.

Otto knows the deal. He's old school, trained in the classic way. You don't see that stuff there....

😬 😬 😬

neonhound10 said:Honestly, I don't really care about them personally, it just bothers me to see certain people getting all their rights handed to them while everyone else loses theirs...

Take Otto, for instance, who was punished in a way that basically stripped him of his right to speak his mind.

I mean, what’s actually wrong with saying he wouldn't want gay people in his ranks? That's just his own opinion, and he wasn't out there insulting anyone specifically...

When was the first time you actually heard the word racism? Not just seeing it on a news ticker or hearing some pundit shout it on CNN during prime time, but when did it first actually sink in? Was it one of those heavy conversations at the dinner table, or just something that drifted through the air while you were watching a movie? It’s one of those words that carries so much weight, yet we toss it around like it's nothing. Does anyone else feel like the definition keeps shifting depending on who's doing the talking? Just wondering.

slywolf45 said:So, he didn't actually offend anyone? Really?😲

So, what about gay men? Or am I just supposed to act like they don't exist in your worldview?

Let someone else take the lead on this one. Good morning. The real reason he’s refusing to let any gay men join his ranks... aside from the obvious homophobia, of course.

Look, think about it this way: you have certain people who just aren't your cup of tea and they get on your nerves. So, you decide to throw a party, and you tell those specific people you don't want them there.

Where is the insult in that?

It's your life, your party, and your choice...

neonhound10 said:Look, think about it this way: you have certain people who just aren't your cup of tea and they get on your nerves. So, you decide to throw a party, and you tell those specific people you don't want them there.

Where is the insult in that?

It's your life, your party, and your choice...

A private party and the Democratic national team are two completely different things.

If it's Democratic, then it belongs to every single citizen. Whether it annoys you or not doesn't matter. Everyone is entitled to equality.

But honestly, who gives a damn about the Constitution? It's just dead ink on a piece of paper anyway.