Posts by Joseph Bailey41

bluejackal2 said:The first time it’s just your typical manic episode like anyone else, but the second time around, suddenly you’re some deep-cover CIA operative. 😬

Cute. Do you actually speak Russian? 😬

Jose Ward4 said:So, what is it that women are attracted to?

It’s those natural scents. I remember once, right before heading out to grab some pastries, I was wearing one of my husband's old t-shirts, and the woman standing in line behind me practically leaned right into me because she loved the scent. 😲

(I had short hair back then, so I actually thought she was just trying to get close to me for a different reason. 🕺 )

bluejackal2 said:Honestly, that’s exactly why grandmas used to spend all afternoon baking apple pies with tons of cinnamon—those women knew exactly what they were doing.

If they had just added a little honey and walnuts too... 🙂

Anyway, who were you supposed to be during that psychotic break? Odin? 🍿

Matthew Castillo5 said:

Joseph Bailey41 As specified by Chloe Flores83:
I honestly think the demand for it is way too low. Most people find straight lavender tea to be just way too intense. Even for someone like me—and look, I can pretty much chug any herbal infusion without blinking—I still find myself blending lavender with other herbs. If I don't, I feel like I’m basically sipping on expensive perfume instead of an actual drink. 🙄

Yeah, if you distill or steam lavender, you end up with an essential oil that hits you like a freight train. It’s incredibly potent. You’ll see it tucked away in small amounts in some herbal tea blends, but honestly, just drinking a cup of pure lavender tea? That would be way too much. The flavor and scent would be totally overwhelming.

This is honestly so beautiful that I’m genuinely tempted to reach out and offer you a hand. 😁

Just a word of caution, though. 😁

Jose Ward4 said:Aha. I see. I was actually thinking maybe they limit the amount you can drink—you know, like how they dose peppermint or chamomile in those little tea bags so people don't overdo it and feel sick. I actually assumed there was a decent market for it! Tell me something, though... when you drink your Lavender tea, do you notice if guys gravitate toward you more? Have you ever caught them looking at you differently because of it?

I don't really drink much Lavender myself; I'll just toss in a sprig while it's in season and leave it at that. It's probably not great for boys going through puberty since it acts a bit like estrogen, but otherwise, I don't think it's toxic. Most of the time I'm sticking to peppermint or lemon balm (usually fresh), and this year I've been using a lot of basil too. I haven't actually had any tea in days, though—my kitchen is currently a mess because I've been busy making batches of tomato sauce. 🙂

Apparently, men are drawn to the scent of cinnamon, and if you want to look younger, you should go with grapefruit... or so research suggests. 😁

Jose Ward4 said:@Joseph Bailey41 Why on earth can't I find any Lavender tea at Dunkin'? It’s everywhere else—you can find chamomile, rosehip, you can basically find tea made from anything under the sun. The only thing I can find is those loose dried flowers at Whole Foods, like their 100g packs, but then I have to deal with measuring it all out myself. Do you have any idea why they don't carry it? I was scanning the shelves at both Kroger and Spencers, and there isn't a single lavender tea bag in sight. Not even a standard little pouch. Is there some secret reason for this? Do these big companies know something we don't? Or what's the deal?

I honestly think the demand just isn't there. For most people, plain lavender tea is way too intense. Even for me—and I can pretty much drink any herbal tea you throw at me—if I don't mix lavender with other herbs, it feels like I'm sipping on perfume. 🙄

Chloe Flores83 said:Not too bad so far. We've got two Jesuses, Neo, and the most positive person of the year... maybe even a little Napoleon in the mix?
Joseph Bailey41, here's my take 😁what's on your mind?

You really are such a sweet soul, and I truly believe things will start looking up for you once you start believing in yourself a little more. 🙂

Matthew Castillo5 said:Blinders, goggles, visors, blinkers... you name it.

(Sorry for going off-topic here)

Don't even apologize—this is honestly your best post yet. 😛

🙂

Jose Ward4 said:Funny. You’ve actually got a sense of humor, Flying. Not bad. We just need one more person to join us and we'll be the Fantastic Four. 😛

I can be your Oracle once I get a little sun on my face. What, you want me to predict some good luck coming your way? 🙂

It’s definitely possible. I guess I find myself curious about other people's lives if they happen to cross my path, and I don't mind listening to what others have to say—even if I don't necessarily find their opinions to be all that groundbreaking. 🥱

Matthew Castillo5 said:Can you pull some strings and get him a much longer sentence behind bars? Honestly, it’s the only way to get the justice he actually deserves. 🍿

😉

I think he'd probably need a little help from Neo and Jesus to make that happen. 😢

Nicholas Lee41;71253895 said:

Joseph Bailey41 said:I was actually responding to what you mentioned on the previous page:

How does being indifferent or seeking self-destruction equate to "respecting life," especially when that mindset leads toward suicide? I also don't quite see why you feel that tempting fate is a sign of disrespecting life. To me, taking certain risks means you aren't afraid to live life to the fullest. Even love is a risk—one where you prove your strength and vitality. Cowards don't dare to love.

The desire to cease existing—whether expressed through suicidal thoughts or anything else—is a pathology rooted in childhood, not some profound philosophical stance like people like to claim. At least, that's how I see it.

I have to admit, your inconsistency caught me off guard, though I get why it’s happening—you’re still trying to figure out the best way to navigate life. I’m actually glad you realized that diving headfirst into a specific worldview, like nihilism, inevitably shifts your emotional state. Being able to spot those cause-and-effect relationships is really just a sign of intelligence. Without that kind of insight, there isn't much point in taking risks, big or small, because if you aren't learning from them, you're just spinning your wheels.

Donna Doyle2 said:What do you all think about that old saying that you can't truly love unless you've known what it's like to suffer? (I mean, if we set aside the actual masochists, victims of abuse, or anything pathological, do you really feel like there's some deep-seated truth buried in the human soul there?) And honestly, what would that even look like in real life?

I’d frame it as a phrase used for mass-scale indoctrination. In that kind of worldview, suffering is rebranded as something worthwhile because it supposedly leads to a reward of love—it’s a clever way to make labor feel less like exploitation and more like a sacrifice. Masochists or victims of abuse are essentially just people who have internalized this lesson a little too effectively. Their pain ends up serving the exploiters, while they themselves try to find some sense of purpose in it, clinging to a feeling of moral or spiritual superiority just to cope.

Matthew Cruz44 said:"It's only love and that's all"

I would argue that those intense emotions aren't actually substitutes for love, but rather just one specific, often distorted, manifestation of it.

If you were raised with the idea—drilled into your head from a young age—that loving someone means constant self-sacrifice, then you might just be using that sacrifice to compensate for a lack of steady, reliable affection, but that doesn't necessarily mean the love itself isn't there.

I can't help but feel like your only real shot at receiving stable, unconditional love happens during those very first years—maybe even months—of your life. If you miss that window for whatever reason, there isn't really a way to make it up later. In adult relationships, I don't believe true unconditional love exists; everything eventually turns into a transaction, a series of compromises, or a power struggle where love just ends up being a hostage.

Giving, or rather "sending out" love, is something anyone can do. Once you grow into a full-fledged human being, you're capable of loving without keeping score. At least, that is until you run into an emotional vampire. You know the type: they believe love is a sacrifice, and they view themselves as some kind of deity that requires constant offerings just to keep the relationship afloat, offering nothing in return but toxic drama. It’s that cliché version of love you hear about in gritty rock songs. Love as drunken jealousy, romanticized violence, manipulation, and macho posturing—love as the total destruction of the other person. Love as your own personal shadow.

After dealing with the absolute bottom of the barrel of the human psyche, it's incredibly hard to reset and try to understand love in its ideal form again. I mean love as synergy. Love as a volcanic merging of two minds. Love as closeness, or the simple joy of seeing someone exactly as they are. Love as a blessing that we both give and receive simultaneously.

There is no light without first confronting the darkness. There is no real love before you dismantle power dynamics, before you stop feeling the need to control someone else or martyr yourself for them just to soothe a deep-seated sense of unworthiness. That sense of inadequacy is the very thing that drives our entire economy, our political maneuvering, and almost every addiction we face. There is no love without freedom.

Nicholas Lee41 said:Sorry, I don't really get that first sentence. I think I follow, but I can't quite make it fit. Help?
By the way, I'm not actually avoiding anything; I was just responding to that comparison with a little bit of humor.
In my opening post, I think I expressed pretty much exactly how I feel about love.
As for this idea of proactive avoidance, it feels the same to me as "tempting fate." I don't like it because it seems pointless to me, because... well, I want to live. If you hold yourself back, you're limiting your own experiences (which is huge for me), and if you go out looking for trouble, you aren't respecting life—unless, I guess, you just don't care or you're actively seeking self-destruction.

I was actually responding to what you mentioned on the previous page:

Nicholas Lee41;71252119 said:Regarding apathy, I find it pretty easy to reach and maintain when it comes to most things, but I can never be apathetic about the fact that I'm feeling apathetic. Apathy works fine if you can keep it under control and stay indifferent toward specific targets; the trouble starts when it bleeds into a general state of indifference. For me, that became incredibly toxic, and even a tiny spark of logic would drive me straight toward suicide.

That's exactly why this part confuses me:

Nicholas Lee41 said:Sorry, I don't really get that first sentence. I think I follow, but I can't quite make it fit. Help?
By the way, I'm not actually avoiding anything; I was just responding to that comparison with a little bit of humor.
In my opening post, I think I expressed pretty much exactly how I feel about love.
As for this idea of proactive avoidance, it feels the same to me as "tempting fate." I don't like it because it seems pointless to me, because... well, I want to live. If you hold yourself back, you're limiting your own experiences (which is huge for me), and if you go out looking for trouble, you aren't respecting life—unless, I guess, you just don't care or you're actively seeking self-destruction.

How does being indifferent or seeking self-destruction equate to "respecting life," especially when that mindset leads toward suicide? I also don't quite see why you feel that tempting fate is a sign of disrespecting life. To me, taking certain risks means you aren't afraid to live life to the fullest. Even love is a risk—one where you prove your strength and vitality. Cowards don't dare to love.

The desire to cease existing—whether expressed through suicidal thoughts or anything else—is a pathology rooted in childhood, not some profound philosophical stance like people like to claim. At least, that's how I see it.

Nicholas Lee41 said:

I suppose you could twist that logic to use it against love. You don't consume it because it smells, or rather, it "smells" because it might cause suffering that could be fatal to your survival. Since love isn't always physically detectable—meaning it doesn't literally have a scent—your intellect tells you it's harmful because of those potential consequences.
That is a truly bizarre comparison. 😁

And that’s exactly why you’re stuck in this state of total apathy. You can't spend your entire life dodging everything (whether it's love, flying on a plane, crossing a busy street, or even grabbing a burger...) just because there's a *slight* chance it might lead to some kind of pain down the road. I mean, sure, you could do that, but what kind of life is that?

Ashley Bailey75 said:Makes sense. In one scenario, if you have nothing, you at least feel alive—in the other, you're just a ghost, irrelevant, worthless... basically non-existent.
Luckily, I haven't actually landed in either of those spots, so I'm just talking theory here.

But I see it with my kids—when I'm slammed with work and they feel ignored, they'll try to trigger any reaction possible, even if it's a meltdown. They just need to know they matter, that they're seen and felt. Just stating the obvious, I guess. Not exactly breaking new ground here.

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It’s logical that during childhood, negative attention feels better than none at all. But once you grow up, people and their irrationality start to drive you absolutely crazy. I’m not entirely sure why that is, since I’ve actually dealt with both situations, plus a few others. It took a lot of "self-work" to stop my reactions to random assholes from swinging wildly between hatred, rage, anger, animosity, contempt, and total indifference. That’s why I appreciate where I am now—for example, I can read something today that would have infuriated me a few months ago, but now? I truly don't give a damn, and most times I can't even be bothered to respond. Fortunately, I’m not religious, so I don't feel this obligation to "love my enemies" or forgive everyone who has wronged me. I prefer math; my favorite operation is multiplying by zero. 😁

Ashley Bailey75 said:I don't know, I'm not trying to get all deep or philosophical here, but I can't wrap my head around loving my kids only under certain conditions or specific circumstances. Just having them is enough for me to feel Love. It showed up out of nowhere and I doubt it’s ever leaving. And it doesn't demand anything back just to exist.

Look, obviously you feel grief and pain when you lose someone—only truly messed up people are devoid of those emotions. That wasn't what I meant when I said Love doesn't hurt. I meant that Love keeps you from staying in relationships that cause suffering and damage you. Loving others naturally requires loving yourself, too, so it should protect the person doing the loving.

And regarding apathy—psychology basically says emotional neglect leaves a deeper scar on kids than actual abuse does. So, any emotion at all is clearly "better" than nothing.

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And both paths lead to the same result: falling for people who don't deserve you. 🤣

Personally, I find indifference to be a pretty wonderful state of being—one where I feel like nothing is missing. You could even say I enjoy it. Loving that sense of detachment is much more pleasant than dealing with anger, hatred, or even being in love with someone unworthy. Unfortunately, it’s pretty hard to maintain; those "lower" emotions tend to sneak back in sooner or later. Luckily, those pass too.

Roger Kern16 said:I think I’ve been calling infatuation Love for way too long. Same goes for that anxiety you get from those toxic push-pull relationships... It just isn't it. Love is more of a state of being than some fleeting emotion, and you can only really measure it by actions. I don't (really) believe it should be a source of weakness, sadness, or suffering anymore; if that's what you're feeling, then it’s just pathology or something else entirely.

Happy Wednesday! 👍

Betty Fowler said:Are you sure about that? I can think of several different scenarios that suggest otherwise.
If you lose someone you love, that connection becomes the very thing that breaks you—it’s the root of all the grief, the weakness, and the suffering that follows.
The person you love can be the very one to betray you, leaving you to deal with all those heavy, negative emotions on your own.
And so on, and so forth.

Hate is the direct opposite of Love. If you were to represent these two core emotions visually, it would look something like this:

Love Indifference Hate

Could I get an explanation on this?

In that case, suffering isn't actually caused by Love—it’s triggered by loss, whether that loss is real or just something we imagine.

Chloe Flores83 said:This whole thing about fish is pretty convenient, right? At least until you’re shaving and suddenly feel like you've been chosen to save the entire planet. Then your brain just starts spinning. And my pets? They were all so huge they actually bit me—if they'd really gone for it, they would've taken my fingers. During my wilder phases, my cats and dogs were just like how Jose Ward4 feels about things; we didn't just like each other, we absolutely adored one another. I remember this German Shepherd over at the local park—he passed away a few years ago. He looked terrifying, honestly. Had this massive black head like a K9 officer, always barking and pacing around on his chain, and I just got this crazy idea that I had to pet him. When he finally went quiet, I walked up to stroke him, and he started acting like a little baby. I really thought all animals could sense me now, but I quickly learned better when a tiny Pomeranian nearly took my hand off during one of my more stable moments. 😁

Regarding the birds, John, you're totally right. With my lot, I felt like I saw every bit of evil in the world just by clearing out their little hiding spots. But what could I do? They were flying around all night until morning, and then a pair of white pigeons showed up. That was my sign that I’d found them all and could finally step away from the window. Time to start a new chapter, I guess. As for sex, it seems like everyone loves it, yet nobody wants to talk about it. I don't mind either topic, but after dealing with Wicked sex, doing it with people just feels totally pointless.

My cats love me unconditionally—well, at least mine do. They even follow me and the dog out into the woods. It gets a little awkward when we walk through town, though; I worry about what the neighbors think. I'm already a bit of a local oddity since I'm constantly out foraging for herbs. 🕺

Chloe Flores83 said:This whole thing about fish is pretty convenient, right? At least until you’re shaving and suddenly feel like you've been chosen to save the entire planet. Then your brain just starts spinning. And my pets? They were all so huge they actually bit me—if they'd really gone for it, they would've taken my fingers. During my wilder phases, my cats and dogs were just like how Jose Ward4 feels about things; we didn't just like each other, we absolutely adored one another. I remember this German Shepherd over at the local park—he passed away a few years ago. He looked terrifying, honestly. Had this massive black head like a K9 officer, always barking and pacing around on his chain, and I just got this crazy idea that I had to pet him. When he finally went quiet, I walked up to stroke him, and he started acting like a little baby. I really thought all animals could sense me now, but I quickly learned better when a tiny Pomeranian nearly took my hand off during one of my more stable moments. 😁

Regarding the birds, John, you're totally right. With my lot, I felt like I saw every bit of evil in the world just by clearing out their little hiding spots. But what could I do? They were flying around all night until morning, and then a pair of white pigeons showed up. That was my sign that I’d found them all and could finally step away from the window. Time to start a new chapter, I guess. As for sex, it seems like everyone loves it, yet nobody wants to talk about it. I don't mind either topic, but after dealing with Wicked sex, doing it with people just feels totally pointless.

When I lived in the city, I had this little parrot that was a total chatterbox. His favorite thing was sitting on the windowsill and having full-blown conversations with a falcon that would land on the antenna outside. If my husband hadn't witnessed it too, I would have been certain I was hallucinating. 🤣

Chloe Flores83 said:This whole thing about fish is pretty convenient, right? At least until you’re shaving and suddenly feel like you've been chosen to save the entire planet. Then your brain just starts spinning. And my pets? They were all so huge they actually bit me—if they'd really gone for it, they would've taken my fingers. During my wilder phases, my cats and dogs were just like how Jose Ward4 feels about things; we didn't just like each other, we absolutely adored one another. I remember this German Shepherd over at the local park—he passed away a few years ago. He looked terrifying, honestly. Had this massive black head like a K9 officer, always barking and pacing around on his chain, and I just got this crazy idea that I had to pet him. When he finally went quiet, I walked up to stroke him, and he started acting like a little baby. I really thought all animals could sense me now, but I quickly learned better when a tiny Pomeranian nearly took my hand off during one of my more stable moments. 😁

Regarding the birds, John, you're totally right. With my lot, I felt like I saw every bit of evil in the world just by clearing out their little hiding spots. But what could I do? They were flying around all night until morning, and then a pair of white pigeons showed up. That was my sign that I’d found them all and could finally step away from the window. Time to start a new chapter, I guess. As for sex, it seems like everyone loves it, yet nobody wants to talk about it. I don't mind either topic, but after dealing with Wicked sex, doing it with people just feels totally pointless.

Are you serious? How did you even meet him? Where does he hang out? 😒

Chloe Flores83 said:Oh, right! I totally forgot to mention that weird thing with the fish. I honestly don't know what happened, but twice while I was out in the deep ocean, these silvery fish just started swirling around my legs. They weren't scared of me at all—it was almost like they were tame. It felt so surreal, like they were staring right at me. I can't tell if they were just incredibly curious little creatures or if I was having some kind of hallucination.

There are definitely fish like that out there; sometimes they even like to nip at you. 😁

Chloe Flores83 said:Aside from that one time, I haven't had any hallucinations, which is why I'm asking. Once, I spent an entire night watching birds all flying in the exact same direction, but my doctor insisted it was impossible and told me I was just hallucinating. Then, a few years later, it clicked—those were just migratory birds heading south. Another time, I thought I saw a Virgin Mary statue. I was sitting in a coffee shop, staring at this statue, thinking to myself, "There isn't actually a statue here," but I couldn't figure out what I was looking at. Later, I realized it was just a massive patio umbrella—a canvas canopy—that looked like a perfectly sculpted statue because it was covered in snow. And yeah, I did have one actual hallucination once when the title of a book called 'friendly whisper' suddenly changed to 'friendly whispering' right before my eyes. There's a whole story behind that one, too, but honestly, these sexual hallucinations are way more interesting. John, could you tell me a bit more about yours?

What an idiot. 🤦

Laura Castillo6 said:Actually, everything counts. In my opinion, the worst diagnoses are the ones you get from messing around with psychoactive substances. I know people who were pretty shaken up by it, and honestly, even I'm not entirely sure if I slipped into that headspace because of alcohol.

Then you look at the shamans over in India, who basically try every trick in the book to induce psychosis. What one person calls madness, someone else sees as entertainment. Personally, for the last four years, I've been fully committed to keeping my mind crystal clear. 😁

I haven't touched anything myself in years either... alcohol makes me aggressive, weed makes me unnervingly peaceful, and neither of those is a good vibe. I haven't even managed to experience actual hallucinations even on stronger stuff, so that was the first thing to go from my routine. I haven't studied those Indian shamans specifically, so I don't know much about their ways... I know a bit about American and Mongolian traditions, some about core shamanism, and quite a bit about Norse practices, but I've never come across anything suggesting that psychosis is a goal there. A trance is something else entirely—it has a definite beginning and end, along with specific rules you're supposed to follow depending on the culture.