Posts by Casey Williams

jadegardener21 said:From what I’ve observed in my own life, and honestly, in people in general, we can only emotionally react to things that already have some sort of resonance within us... something that exists somewhere deep inside. If something is completely foreign to our experience, or if it’s just utterly irrelevant to who we are, it simply won't stir us up or trigger any intense feelings.
And the more powerful those feelings become, the more it becomes a part of you—that thing you find yourself fighting against—because something can only irritate you this deeply if it is extremely personally significant to you. And judging by your opening post, I would say your emotions are quite intense on this matter. 😉

Furthermore—you aren't "forced" to act this way when you are around them. The very fact that you choose to associate with them at all is your choice. Taking ownership of that decision would be the necessary first step, because things are never going to change on their own, and it's only once you admit that it truly depends on you that you might actually have the power to change anything...

If you don't like your social circle, change it. If you don't like your job, change it. If you don't like the country you live in, move. And so on. Everything in your life that isn't working for you should be changed within the limits of possibility... though those limits are often much further out than we dare to admit.
Those who really are dissatisfied will always find a way to alter their circumstances. Meanwhile, those who secretly prefer the status quo will simply find an excuse to keep complaining. Which group you belong to, once again, is entirely up to you.

Everything?

crimsonviper88 said:To’s what mediocrity looks like to me: just following some pre-set path, living inside a mold. Constant routine, life being a total bore, and having zero desire to actually change it.
Once you get settled into this daily grind, anything that sticks out from the norm feels like a killer right from the jump. And when stuff goes wrong? People just shrug and say, "Eh, whatever, nothing I can do." That’s pure passivity right there.
Like I said, I guess I'm becoming that way too 😢 part of it is my own fault, and part of it is just the environment around me.

Many people end up becoming exactly what you despise because of the "change, excitement, and risk-taking" you mistakenly view as positive, despite the fact that such upheavals frequently break a person. They make him passive. And yet you claim these people simply feel "okay and don't want to change anything"?
You are willing to ditch an old social circle for a new one just to chase some vague idea of "better" or "more," even though you aren't even sure what that better life actually looks like. You are just certain it isn't mediocrity or passivity. Where does this hatred for being passive come from? Are passivity and mediocrity the only traits your circle possesses?
And who exactly is the "real you"?

Look, my brother did the exact same thing when he was a kid. Nobody laid a hand on him, and today he is a perfectly law-abiding citizen.
How a parent explains their actions matters immensely, whether they choose physical discipline or any other method.
I don't have kids myself, but I am no advocate for corporal punishment. Nor am I a fan of forcing my opinions on others. It is tragic when parents hit their children, but we cannot ignore the reality that raising stubborn brats is incredibly difficult. Some parents reach a breaking point and lash out, which only leaves them drowning in guilt and creates a toxic emotional environment for everyone involved. In my view, it is far wiser to avoid hitting altogether and adopt much more effective disciplinary methods. Even extreme psychological tactics—like those involving burning a stuffed animal—can trigger consequences far worse than a physical strike.
Some reading material for you:

http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepu...hment0319.html

And this:

Researchers analyzed survey data from 807 mothers of children ages 6 to 9, taken in 1988 and 1990. They compared levels of antisocial behavior among spanked and unspanked children over that interval.

According to the researchers, the more spanking a child received at the start of the study, the higher the level of antisocial behavior recorded by the end.

Antisocial behavior was defined as cheating, lying, disobedience at school, breaking things deliberately, a lack of remorse after misbehaving, or failing to get along with teachers.

Dana Morales64 said:I’ve been dealing with this issue for years now—I hate my parents. And honestly? That resentment just keeps growing day by day. It isn't that they're "evil" people, per se, but I can't get past the fact that they don't own a car. It sounds shallow, I know, but I can’t shake it. I feel an intense sense of shame whenever I'm out in public with them. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to lie to people when they ask why I didn't drive myself, or what kind of old clunker my folks are rolling around in. It’s embarrassing because, in my mind, they’re making me look bad in the city where we live. Even though I'm living on the other side of the country now, the discomfort still hits whenever someone asks why I'm hauling my stuff via Greyhound or Amtrak instead of having my parents help me move in their own vehicle. It’s infuriating because it feels like nobody even asks if you have a car anymore—it's just an unspoken rule in America that everyone owns one. But more than that, the car thing is just a symptom—a way to distract from the real issue, which is that my father is a total loser. He’s a man who's afraid of his own shadow and hasn't actually accomplished anything meaningful in his life, not for himself and certainly not for us. I'm deeply dissatisfied with him, both as a person and as a provider. I know I'm not perfect either—I've been incredibly rude and harsh lately—but it all stems from this massive well of frustration and disappointment toward them, especially my old man.
I could go on with endless examples, but I won't. I guess I'm just grieving the fact that I'll never be able to brag about my parents or tell people they're actually decent, successful human beings. When I see other people's families, it honestly makes me want to scream. Look, we aren't tethered to our parents by some unbreakable bond, but the reality remains: they are my parents, and I'm stuck carrying this pillar of shame. I don't think there is anything worse in this world than being disappointed by your own parents—to have them be the exact example of what a person should *not* be. 😢

But the real question is whether you are disappointed in yourself and your own principles. It isn't your parents causing this shame; it's your own values.
Buy a car and gift it to your mother and father. You will feel happy, satisfied, and proud. And they will have a vehicle.