Jessica Wood96 said:Alright, I've decided to throw another question out there,
So, look—whether it’s under some kind of "pressure" or just talking to strangers or even people I've known forever, I just freeze up. I can't talk normally...
It feels like I'm forcing everything, like if I actually spoke like my true self, someone would judge me or give me a weird look. I know I'm not stupid and I know how to communicate, but this struggle is real...
It happens when I'm hanging out with friends too, especially if I'm with someone I don't vibe with or just a total stranger. It's incredibly frustrating; I really don't need this. I end up talking way too quiet, way too fast, and half the time I just forget what I was even trying to say. I tell myself a million times, "Stop overthinking it, just talk." But then comes this wall where I can't even discuss problems or solve anything. I just shut down and act like the bad guy when things get serious, whether it's with a girl or at home, usually with my mom.
I end up putting myself down. I stay silent. I don't even snap back at shitty comments made toward me after a failed conversation. Then I spend the next hour or two just beating myself up, thinking, "Why didn't I say this? Why didn't I say that?" I love being alone, just peaceful and without the stress. This is eating at me. If anyone gets what I'm going through, please, try to explain why this happens. Like I said, I'm not crazy and I'm not some kid who *doesn't want* to talk—it's just that once I feel this way in a situation, I'm stuck. There's no way out.
Try following these three simple steps you can use in any situation to get the ball rolling—they actually work:
1) Relax (loosen up your whole body, breathe deep from your stomach instead of your chest, drop your shoulders, relax your hands and jaw, keep your head up, take up more space, and speak up a little louder...).
2) Just keep talking (say the first thing that pops into your head, and the next time you see those friends, try to talk as much as possible for the first ten minutes; you'll realize you've regained control over yourself, the conversation, and the whole vibe, and then you can steer it however you want).
3) Don't let yourself get swallowed by their reality; pull them into yours (just talk about stuff you actually care about and stop giving a damn about what they think).
-Quick tip: always try to talk to whoever you can. Make it your goal to find two random people wherever you go and have a quick 30-second chat before saying, "Sorry, gotta run, bye!" You'll see that after a while, you'll be totally practiced and your communication skills will be top-tier. From there, it's smooth sailing.
Good luck! 🙂