Posts by Kevin Rivera61

I’m pretty sure things were bound to go down that way anyway, regardless of my neighbor being totally ticked off at me right now

I could easily just ignore her, but there's one little problem: I walk right past "her" door every single day.
"Her door is literally right before mine."
Since the last time I asked her for that tiny favor, we haven't actually crossed paths yet.

Lisa Hernandez3 said:It’s been quite a while since we’ve had such a colorful topic on the board. Honestly, I don't see much of a way forward other than just asking her to pay you back whenever she's able. Given $300, nobody has actually gone broke yet—and look, you did a good thing here, maybe even truly helped out her kids, so perhaps the best move is just to wait. You might even try inviting her out for coffee to see if you can smooth things over regarding your relationship and this whole mess (including the trouble it's caused you). I suppose I wonder if there was anything significant between you two before the whole optical mouse and translation situation—did she ever help you out or treat you fairly in other ways? I assume she did, especially back when you trusted her enough to lend money. Or... was there an unspoken expectation that this loan was more of a stake in something?

Exactly. I helped her, I just feel bad that she couldn't do me this one little favor. I wasn't asking for anything impossible.

She’ll return the money when she can—things aren't easy for her right now.

She’s been perfectly fine with me in the past.

Of course we’re going to sit down and talk about what the issue is and why she isn't responding.

Still... we’re neighbors now, living window-to-window. It's unbelievable that she could act this way toward me.

Jack Gomez19 said:That bolded part really caught my eye—if she's struggling so much financially, why does she feel the need to maintain a three-bedroom place?

That's how it went. When she was looking for a new place, some were already taken, and others had much higher rent plus utilities. She didn't have many options, otherwise she would've ended up on the street with her kids.
The Boss of her previous apartment left her with debts, so she had to move out.

Chloe Booth72 said:Trusting people? Yes—but it depends on the topic and the context.
I generally start by trusting people (meaning I go in at nearly 100%, though that trust tends to plummet toward zero the second I have a reason to doubt), but when an acquaintance (like in the OP's example) asks to borrow money, my trust hits rock bottom immediately. 😁

Here’s why. It isn't even about the cash; screw a few hundred bucks if someone is truly in a bind. The real issue is: why did they ask *me*?
If an acquaintance (someone I haven't even seen in ten years) reaches out asking for money, it means they’ve run out of options. They’ve likely already tapped out their family and all their close friends, so now they’re moving down the list to casual acquaintances. 😠

I actually know her parents and I know what they're going through right now, so they weren't in a position to help her at that moment. As for how many relatives or other connections she has, I have no idea.

jadetinker85 said:Why didn't you reach out to his parents and demand the money back?

Her parents know I lent her the money. They were actually at her apartment when I was there visiting, and she just said:

She'll pay it back when she can, and then...

Look, I know things aren't easy for her. Three kids in a small two-bedroom apartment...

But it's not about the money for me right now, $300 even though the extra cash wouldn't hurt. It's more about the fact that she doesn't seem to value the person helping her, especially since I'm just asking for one tiny favor in return.

David Gomez3 said:There’s an old saying that if you hand someone twenty bucks and never have to see their face again, you actually got a pretty good deal. 🤔 😬

Look, $333 it isn't exactly pocket change 😢 and honestly, I think you got played. It’s frustrating, I know. Maybe try asking her point-blank what the actual issue is; if she can't give you a straight answer or some tangible results, then you already know where you stand. Personally, I’m not even losing sleep over the cash itself—it’s more about the principle. It’s situations like this that force people who genuinely want to help to just close their doors and stop trying altogether. 😢

I was wondering, what kind of behavior are we talking about when you run into her at the entrance or wherever? I don't really go over to her place anymore—I'd love to figure out what the actual issue is.

silverwalker27 said:You all are truly something else. He genuinely wanted to lend a hand—to help someone out—and it ends up being a complete and utter disaster. And that con artist? She’s clever and cunning. Though, if she were truly that smart, she wouldn't have ended up living like white trash, hovering on the edge of panhandling where her entire existence depends on a few bucks. James Diaz59, you need to get a grip. Don't insult good-natured people like him🙂

Lending money to a friend is fine—I don't see the issue there. If they don't pay you back, well, that's that. At least they'll never be able to borrow a dime from you again, even if they had to sell a kidney to a baby. It's done. Look at the bright side—you "tested" a "friend" with something relatively minor. They could have betrayed you on something much more significant. Now you know where you stand. Forget that thousand dollars. Those people will just avoid and screw you over now anyway. Let them go. Move on.

Your intentions were good, but the execution was poor. First off, you were overextending yourself. You didn't even have enough for your own needs, yet you were giving to someone who isn't immediate family—or someone you *consider* family. You can only help within the limits of your own resources; there's no shame in not donating five pints of blood. Second, regarding trust—you can't go through life acting like a sucker and handing out your trust to practically strangers. Life will just kick you for it. When you meet someone new, the trust level should be at 0%. You have absolutely no reason to believe anything; you shouldn't rely on any promises made by strangers. God forbid your livelihood ever depends on a stranger's word. The title doesn't hold water—you can only trust those who have actually proven themselves worthy of it.

// And third, this is off-topic but unavoidable: damn Facebook! That garbage has diluted the term "friend" so effectively that it makes me sick.

That's all I have to say about what was written. Now, let's talk about what wasn't written.

OP, why don't you tell us why you were hovering around her so much? "My computer died," huh? You dropped a thousand bucks on someone else's wife, but you don't have fifty bucks for a new mouse? Besides, who even lends a mouse? Is this a bad translation? Google Translate? Are you stalking her on Facebook? Man, what were your actual intentions? Were you trying to buy her, and now you're selling us this "heavenly benevolence" as your primary motive?

I reacted the same way a guy would if he jumped into a car wreck to save some girls. He doesn't stop to wonder if the water is warm or cold, even though he could get hurt himself—like getting a sudden cramp in his leg or something.
That's how I saved her; so she wouldn't end up on the streets with kids.

When I lent money once, the joke was that she didn't want to lend me a mouse, when all I needed was a tiny favor.

I have three friends I can truly rely on because they've proven it; I've lent them money and they paid me back on time or whenever I needed it. They've lent me money too... look, we know each other. I've known one guy for 17 years, and I've known another for 5, and everything is fine with them. If I lend him money and he doesn't pay it back by the date, he'll give me more than what I originally lent him.

I had a text that needed precise translating, but I handled that... I was just asking for a small favor, considering how I helped her.

James Diaz59 said:Look, honestly... I don't think you should trust your own judgment right now, but feel free to believe that coworker if you want. 😁

Want me to translate that for you? She’s cunning and knows how to play the game—meanwhile, you're just being a naive sucker who got played perfectly. She keeps trying to tell you exactly what's going on, but you're too dense to see through it.

And now you're actually asking for help on her behalf... hoping SHE understands???!!! 😲 😂🤣

Whatever, man. Just hit us up once you get your money back! 🥳 🤣

PS. The whole thing smells fishy to me—honestly, this "foreign country" might just be some small town in Ohio. 😁 (Please, just don't reply telling me that a small town in Ohio isn't abroad! 🙂)

Her husband isn't even living in some "wealthy" country; things are actually worse for him than they are for us. She went to stay with him, but told him that life there was way below their standard of living, so she just came back to the States.

It's my own fault for being too nice. I'm not the only one, but people like us always end up getting burned.

Back in mid-August, an old colleague added me on Facebook. She actually tracked me down

We’ve known each other for about 17 years, though we hadn't really been in touch for the last decade
- We hadn't seen each other, and she had found a boyfriend—once they got serious, they lived together

Basically, they were renting, moving from one place to another quite often, and that boyfriend is her husband now... he isn't in the States at the moment, but he should be coming back sometime soon

She’s living in the same city as me now...
She was staying just a few streets away, so she invited me over twice to see her place. We caught up on everything, and then she asked if I could lend her some money because she was in a real bind with her rent and had nowhere else to turn. I went ahead and helped her out with $133, and she managed to cover the rest. She didn't want to get kicked out since she had nowhere to go, especially with all her unpaid bills... she was almost "out on the street" by September

She has three little kids to look after, and I know things haven't been easy for her, so I stepped up because of our history. About two months ago, she finally found a new apartment because their debts had piled up so high she couldn't keep up with the bills and was forced to move out

After that, she started looking for a new place, and by total coincidence, she stumbled upon an ad for an apartment in my neighborhood—in my actual building, on the same floor where I live! I thought, "That's great, we'll be neighbors," but then she was short on cash again to pay the deposit $133—so once again, I helped her out. Even though those $133 would have been useful for me, helping her was the priority because otherwise, she’d be stuck on the street with her kids
Her husband couldn't send any money from abroad at the time either, who knows why...

A little while later, she asked me for $33 so the kids would have something to eat. Okay, so I lent her those $33 too, even though I didn't really have extra for myself; I just made ends meet somehow

I asked her if she could translate a text from English to American for me, but she won't respond. Plus, since my optical mouse stopped working, I asked if I could borrow hers for a couple of hours, or if she wouldn't lend it, if I could just use her computer to handle some stuff online—but she doesn't want to hear it
The thing is, I pass by her door every single day, and our windows face each other. Every time I walk past her door, I can't help but think about what kind of colleague and neighbor she is

For the last 14 days, she's been exclusively "Off" on FC, but I can tell she's online because she occasionally leaves messages for people... she just won't react to me, even when I send her a private message on FC

P.S. As for the money I lent her, her husband is supposed to pay me back once he returns to the US. Hopefully, I'll see it eventually, but for now... we'll see. I'm not helping her anymore, and we aren't even in contact. I just want things to be right—for her to act properly toward me and appreciate the person who stepped up to help

I'd love to hear your thoughts or if anyone has advice... how do you get someone like this to come back down to earth and actually value the people who help them? Or if anyone has gone through something similar, please share your story

Here’s how I’d handle it: tell your boss that a family member is seriously ill and you need to be home to support them. Just be careful not to overshare or give too many details—you don't want them feeling like they need to double-check your story or verify anything.

I actually took advantage of a situation just like this once. I only needed about a week off, and I had a very specific reason for doing it...

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