Posts by Robert Murphy8

Hold on a second! Who changed my thread title?

Maybe someone could actually give me a little credit for once! 🙄 😁

Maybe with someone else... when you're dealing with idiots, it's best to just play along. (I’m talking about bullying or harassment). You can't let them see you get upset or act like a victim. Instead, just throw back some dumb joke, agree with whatever nonsense they say, and laugh right along with them. If they're acting like fools, you out-fool them. That's what really gets under their skin if they were trying to provoke you. And if they weren't actually being malicious and were just trying to be funny? Well, then they'll realize how repetitive and boring their jokes have become. They'll eventually tire themselves out and move on. A verbal or physical confrontation isn't for everyone, and it's certainly not always the answer. Unless someone is truly, cruelly harassing you, it's not worth it. But if it's just some rude mockery? No. A smart person knows how to tell the difference between the two..
(I am absolutely killing it in the comments today! I honestly have to admire my own wit!

It’s all lovely and all, but I just don't get why nobody is making any noise. I was actually hoping that once we got the news, there would be some fireworks or at least someone setting off some crackers, but instead—nothing. Just dead silence. What happened to us? Have we just become completely numb? Not a single shot fired... not even a trumpet blast. We need something to actually wake us up and give us a reason to celebrate. Honestly, this American phlegmatic attitude is driving me insane. We claim we want to be the best at everything, but when we actually win, we just sit there in total silence like nothing happened. We used to have some life in us, but now we're just a bunch of critics.🙄
It was the exact same way a few years back during the World Cup, when it was 2-2 between the US and France in soccer. We would have celebrated like crazy if we had actually won... but instead, it was the usual "this" or "that" excuses, and in the end, nothing happened. All we know how to do is complain; we have no idea how to actually celebrate a victory. I think I need to write a new song.

Kenneth Jackson5 said:I suggest you look into some literature regarding emotional intelligence or strategies for building self-confidence. It truly made a difference for me; I struggled with those exact same issues once... the root cause was internal.
Your fundamental issue is this desperate need to be liked by everyone and to ensure that every single person perceives you as a "good" individual. Why does that matter so much? You should simply be yourself; what others think of you is entirely their own business. If you know you are a good person, that ought to be sufficient to start with. Furthermore, I will say this: nothing you do matters to God if you don't first believe in yourself.

Maybe I’m just incredibly lazy. Those college jobs I had were mind-numbingly boring, which is probably why I was so chatty. Ideally, I’d have a career where I could actually have friendly conversations with coworkers.
Basically, whenever I feel pressured or stressed, I start rambling like an idiot.

Emily Foster4 said:Why on earth would you do that? That isn't what the job is for, lady; your career isn't about building one big, happy little family. At work, people should only care about the quality of your output and how you handle your responsibilities—not your personal nonsense, your dreams, or heaven forbid, your private struggles. I've told you before that you are far too kind, which unfortunately makes you a magnet for the scavengers around you who just want someone to kick around. So, chin up, keep your distance from the idiots, and only communicate when absolutely necessary; if someone gets arrogant with you, tell them to get lost and move on. Work is work, and your private life belongs to you. Once you finally grasp that distinction, your professional life will be much easier, and ironically, people will probably respect you more.

I don't know why, but the second someone smiles at me or tries to be nice at the office, it doesn't take long before I start blabbing about my personal life. It always ends up burying me. I just can't help it. I'm a loudmouth, plain and simple... I'm just not the type of person who knows how to keep their mouth shut. Sometimes I even end up playing the victim. I know it's my own fault. Maybe I've just been a victim my whole life, and I got used to it.

wearyowl29 said:Way to go!

The root issue here is definitely a lack of self-esteem (which, let's face it, often stems from not getting enough affection growing up). Focus on building that inner strength, and you won't feel the urge to tell
everyone your entire life story from A to Z.

Fair point. It’s true. I don't feel any shame about laying my whole life out on a silver platter, but then people just go behind my back anyway. When you lack self-respect, maybe you subconsciously sabotage your own relationships. Honestly, because I can't stand confrontation and I'm terrified of conflict, I almost prefer being the subject of gossip just to avoid a direct showdown. I hate confrontation. Especially eye-to-eye.

wearyowl29 said:You don't have to be rude or uncultured at all; you just need to set boundaries.
Keeping people at arm's length just lets them know they can't walk all over you. Even if they try, they won't have any "ammo" to use against you because they don't know anything!
The problem is you're looking for closenessand you aren't finding it because you're looking in the wrong places. Communication doesn't have to be constant. You talk when you need to, especially at work.
My best advice? Save your private life for yourself and your actual friends. In a culture where everyone is constantly nosing into everyone else's business, having some distance is your best defense against unwanted interference.

I know. Thanks. But I've always been this way. Maybe it's a lack of self-confidence, so I try to find it through others, attempting to build friendly bonds... hoping they won't turn on me. It's like I feel vulnerable, so I try to show them I have my own struggles too, trying to prove I'm not a threat so we can be friends. But the opposite happens. They just take everything I say out of context, and that's how it starts. That's how the downward spiral begins. I don't know why I can't just stay detached. I suppose I'm looking for some kind of strength in them. Maybe once I move on from these part-time student jobs to something more serious, I won't feel such a desperate need to socialize with coworkers. Then maybe I'll be able to keep my distance. But the truth is, I haven't quite mastered being "professional" yet.

Larry Torres4 said:This is exactly why😉

Look. I appreciate the advice, really, but being unapologetically rude, arrogant, or just plain obnoxious isn't in my DNA. It's not that easy. I was raised to be decent to people—to actually have some manners—and I don't know how to switch that off. I realize I should probably keep my guard up and stop oversharing with everyone I meet, but I can't help it. When I'm around people for too long, if there’s nothing going on, the tension builds up. Eventually, I start talking, and before I know it, I’ve spilled my entire life story. Then, a few days later? A knife in the back. That’s been the pattern at almost every job I've had. I just keep trying to find the good in people, even when it backfires.

I can honestly say I try to be a decent human being. I make an effort to stay respectful, polite, and kind in my interactions, genuinely trying to work well with others. But no matter where I go—and especially in the corporate world—it’s the same old story. Constant undermining, people trashing my hard work, and backstabbing. I always end up carrying the weight of their nonsense on my own shoulders. As a person of faith, I could never dream of pulling a stunt like that on anyone. I know I’m capable. I’m smart, I give everything I have to my job and to the people around me, yet it feels like absolutely nobody respects that. It’s even worse when they mock me for being transparent or for actually caring about projects that have some actual heart in them. Then I look at these "successful" types and I just don't get it. What makes them so much better or sharper than me? They get the accolades while I’m just left waiting for them to label me as the villain, because apparently, that’s the only role they think I’m fit for.

briskgull27 said:It’s true, though—nobody is out there causing trouble or anything.
I was just hoping to find some interesting pages to browse; you know how it is when we're stuck at our desks all day.😈

Shut-ins. What's that supposed to mean?

It’s that psychological hunger—that deep, hollow craving where you just shovel food in as fast as possible. You eat constantly, yet you still feel empty, and before you know it, the scale starts climbing. That’s exactly where I am right now... I'm putting on weight like it's my full-time job. If there’s anything in the fridge, I’m eating it.

Terry Hernandez11 said:Look, you're on the wrong sub for this. If self-esteem is actually your concern, go hang out in some psychology or wellness thread. Or maybe you just came here to announce yourself as the next big political powerhouse? That’s fine. At least you aren't some random person off the street making a scene. That's also fine. But I'm struggling to follow the logic here: what kind of college can you even enroll in—let alone graduate from—without a high school diploma? And how do you finish high school without middle school? Not to mention, how do you even pass elementary school if you don't know your own native language?

Don't get your panties in a bunch.

Excuse me? Are you okay?🙄 You know what? You aren't being original, that's all I'll say. And honestly, not everyone writes with perfect grammar like you do. We should still have the right to post something on a forum, shouldn't we?

Honestly, even that bit of courage I used to have has just evaporated. They really seem to think they’re untouchable, and frankly, they’ve managed to intimidate me. Now, I find myself hesitating more than ever when it comes to anything at all. It wasn't even about being nervous about how a conversation would go anymore; it's more that the drive to take any kind of action has completely left me.

I was incredibly naive to think this party actually stood for anything. It’s a complete joke. These people act like they’re on the verge of a breakthrough, but they're utterly useless. They seem to expect me—someone who just joined—to roll up my sleeves and build their entire platform from scratch while they sit back, nodding along or offering empty gestures. What a disaster. I should have joined a serious organization, something established, where I could actually climb the ladder over the next decade or so... but this? This is a circus. You can't even tell if they're being serious or just mocking the whole process.

Apple said:Hopefully you'll turn up something useful. ☕

Much appreciated, Apple. 😘

Does anyone actually have techniques for building up self-confidence? It always seems to slip through my fingers. I’ll have all this genuine motivation ready to go, then I’ll have one conversation with my mother and everything just falls apart

I guess I’m just not cut out for politics. Every time I try, someone finds a way to strip away my confidence. It’s non-existent at this point.

Michelle Price13 said:join a party just to break away from it later... 😬

Keep chasing those old ghosts if you want to. Whether you're running with a political party or flying solo, it's your choice.
And what kind of "persecution" are we talking about from officials? They aren't saints just because they wear a badge or hold office.
With an attitude like yours, you're just feeding their egos—making them feel like some untouchable gods serving the party interests.
Just stay sharp. At the end of the day, you can always walk away from a party whenever you want. 😁

Thanks. Honestly, I shouldn't be this worried. I have a degree; I’m not some person off the street looking for trouble. They should show me some respect. But my mother keeps scaring the life out of me. It's ridiculous. She tells me I'm not cut out for this, and I just fold immediately like a total amateur. She's just jealous, really. Pathetic. She constantly tells me, "Don't say this to them," or "Don't mention that."

white boy said:what's the name?

God, I’m not saying it here. I’d be too embarrassed. What if they actually figure out who we're talking about? What are you even looking for—membership info or something?