Posts by Amanda Walker

Honestly, just hitting long, easy walks every day and tossing a little snack in your bag is the move. People dealing with "brain fog" or feeling totally wiped out usually can't even face a crowded gym or those social hotspots anyway.

I’m seriously counting my way up to 4! 🙂

I mean, look, as long as those dark thoughts and constant worrying don't spiral into full-blown depression, you're fine.

He, he, he, he... fine, whatever, let's just leave it at that for now. But seriously, are you dealing with those freaking intrusive black thoughts too?

brightsailor9 said:Exactly. Hard to see how it could hurt... (though, what exactly is Lecithin?)

Quoting Twinlab:

Lecithin is basically a complex mix made up of various phospholipids. Almost 100% of those phospholipids consist of phosphatidylcholine and inositol—which are basically similar to B-complex vitamins acting as cofactors. Basically, lecithin (aka choline and inositol) helps build out your nerves, boosts how your nervous system functions, and helps replenish phosphorus levels, which is a key energy and structural component for the body. Lecithin is great for your mood and has a relaxing effect on the nervous system; it helps with memory and focus, speeds up recovery, and is especially helpful when you're dealing with stress. Life Time Lecithin packs 1200 mg of soy lecithin into a single capsule. It’s recommended to take one capsule daily with a meal.

So I’ve been messing around with Omega and Lecithin, but since I’m also on Paxil, who knows which one is actually doing the heavy lifting for my recovery?
I mean, I'm taking them because I heard they're great for your arteries and fixing brain chemistry imbalances... and hey, what's the harm in trying, right?

So, I’m heading to my psychiatrist for $100 the first session, and then it’s just going to be $67 follow-ups from there.

ironbadger5 said:Look, Amanda Walker, check out what they said to you above:
get yourself a dog and take up some aikido. 🙂

And hey, you'll probably find a new job eventually, don't sweat it too much!

I'd love to get a pup of my own too, if only I lived in a house instead of an apartment...
When I was a kid, we lived in a house and we always had dogs running around.

Something’s gotta give soon, some kind of change has to happen. For now, I'm just getting by on Paxil and Orbitrex. I'm not being a total pessimist, though—I've got this gut feeling that things are gonna look up and life will feel a lot easier pretty soon.

brightsailor9 said:🙈 Damn, I didn't realize that fell under the FBI's jurisdiction... I went through that 5 or 6 years ago, had a horrific job, constant stress...

🙂 Honestly, my job has been completely wrecking me for years now. The demands are insane, deadlines are always impossible... before I even touch a single contract, I already know I'm going to be late on it. It’s cost me so much sleep, I've basically lost track of day and night because of it...

But look, I can't just walk away from this job, and at this rate, it doesn't look like I can keep doing it for much longer either. 🤷

You’re basically manufacturing problems out of thin air, spinning these dark, twisted scenarios in your head that don't even exist yet—even if they *could* happen.
So every single one of these little mental movies ends in a total meltdown or pure panic, all because of something that hasn't actually happened. Like, seriously?
It’s just a constant loop of new nightmares, or you’re just obsessing over the same damn thing over and over with tiny little tweaks.
It even starts bleeding into your dreams... which means you can't even catch a break or relax without feeling totally on edge.
Or maybe you're stuck replaying some old drama from the past, adding all these "what if" layers and wondering how everyone else saw it... and you just can't shut it off.

Eventually, you end up being pathologically worried about every little thing in the world 🙂 and everything looks bleak. It’s honestly exhausting! 😲

I haven't scrolled through this whole thread yet, but honestly? I'm all for it. I was prescribed Paxil for my own issues with anxiety and depression.
Basically, OCD covers everything from those constant, nagging compulsions—like checking if you turned off the stove or locked the front door—to those intrusive, dark thoughts that just hijack your brain. You know, when these horrible scenarios start playing on loop in your head out of nowhere and you just can't make them stop.

Richard Walker79, look at you, starting to write poetry or something. 😁
I didn't have much of a choice back then, and honestly? Maybe I’ll never have a choice again.
Plus, you're always messing around with different ways of doing things anyway.

Richard Walker79 said:My dear friend, I am also troubled by that loaded word, and I completely understand why it triggers such strong associations for you.
Everything is a matter of perspective. When that term is mentioned, one person envisions an old man sitting on a cloud, another sees a monarch who lavishly rewards some while punishing others, someone else believes we are all divine, and another thinks existence itself is God...
It all depends on your viewpoint; it is vital to look at things from every possible angle.

One day, in a real-life conversation (not online), I gave some advice to one person and made them happy because they felt I was helping. At the same time, I made another person in that same group happy because they thought I was teasing the first person—whom they can't stand! My intention wasn't to help or to tease; it was something else entirely. 🙂

Honestly, just cross out the word God. I’m not much of a fan of the term myself. Others have used it so poorly that it’s become distasteful, and for most people, it carries a societal baggage that's hard to shake...

Maybe we will eventually realize our true nature... but by the time we reach that level of understanding, logic won't be able to follow us, so we still won't get it.

How can you be so sure if you haven't experienced it?
I believe the truth is actually quite simple, but nobody wants to accept it that way. Everyone expects something unreachable, something incomprehensible to the mind, something transcendental. But once you actually reach it, it seems so incredibly simple that you can't help but just laugh and laugh... 😁

Look, there's a massive difference between experiencing something and actually understanding it. One is just having an insight; the other is true comprehension.
Maybe we’re just using the same word to mean two totally different things.
If you think you "understand" reality, aren't you basically just stripping it down and losing what makes it real in the first place?

I'm not trying to start a fight here, I'm just pointing out how words can trap you.

I hit this limit once where the whole world—myself included—just got swept away like dust in a storm. All I had left was enough self-awareness to make sure I didn't completely vanish.
I stared into this massive void of everything and nothing all at once, and honestly? I was terrified, so I just laughed at how absurdly huge it was
compared to the tiny, insignificant little world we live in.
It happened during one of those out-of-body experiences—it hit me while I was wide awake. Suddenly, the world and I were just gone, blown away by the wind, which totally freaked me out.
I had to slam it into four-wheel drive immediately just to try and pull myself back into reality. I have never been so stunned in my entire life.

Some people out there claim that when women wear red, they’re basically an open door for the supernatural—like they’re suddenly vulnerable to all sorts of spiritual forces, whether they're good or bad...
Honestly? I don't care. That's zero excuse for women to sit on the sidelines and opt out of this stuff.

You’ve definitely got a point there, but man, I’m really struggling with how you used the word God in that sentence. 🙂
Does it seriously have to be God?
Look, I’ve got nothing against God, but it just feels totally out of place here.
It feels like we’re never actually going to figure out what we are, where we came from, or how we even got here.
Maybe one day we'll finally have an epiphany about our existence... but by the time we reach that kind of realization, our human brains won't be able to wrap themselves around it, so we'll still be left in the dark.

steeleagle13 said:Just a made-up term ☕ 😛

Or whatever you call information that isn't actually information 😁

And hey, don't forget—give 'em a uniform and they'll probably show up with a baton too
😁.

Richard Walker79 said:Let’s skip the endless debate over who’s right or wrong. Just lay out what you’ve learned. Put your insights into words, no matter how they come out. I promise, those of us who have been through it will get exactly what you mean.

1. The realization that nobody actually owns anything—not even their own body. It means we either possess everything or absolutely nothing at all.

We have zero! Absolutely nothing!

2. And realizing that this truth? That's the good news. Anyone who can even catch a glimpse of that is basically one step closer to infinity.

Kill your ego, or it'll kill you. Seriously.