Posts by wiredbison92

placidfox52 said:words make up 7%
tone of voice accounts for 38%
body language covers 55%

so, nonverbal communication actually makes up 93% of the impact

I've always found that kind of statistic pretty fascinating, I guess.

yeah, it’s basically just psychological smoke and mirrors, obviously

...

oh, oops, it looks like that old theory might be slowly falling out of favor 😲 😲
I stumbled upon this article earlier
http://www.cob.sjsu.edu/oestreich_h/...%20Article.doc

and now my whole understanding of the concept feels a bit shaken up 😁
maybe
is there a psychologist or perhaps a psychology student hanging out here? 😢

I'm really looking for an accurate figure, something that's actually accepted within mainstream American psychological circles. My professor used to teach me the percentages I mentioned, but it seems like that might be outdated, or maybe researchers have concluded it isn't quite that simple anymore. 🙄

Are you trying to say that people are finally starting to pay more attention to what is actually being said rather than just how it's packaged???
It’s almost scary, thinking that eventually nobody will be able to swallow the crap just because it's wrapped in colorful paper!!!! How awful would that be!!!!😁

I mean, you might not actually be at fault for every single disagreement, because you know how it goes—it takes two to tango, right? So, if you really don't feel like getting into another fight, maybe just try letting things go once in a while; I guess if you can't convince them they're wrong, it might be better to just step back and let them talk themselves into a corner...

for me, after stuff like that happens, I find that diving into something I actually enjoy helps clear my head, since life is pretty good when you look at it that way...

wiredbison92 said:I suppose I feel like communicating with the general public is actually pretty vital, and there isn't much point in just staying on the sidelines, really. Even if certain topics seem a bit trivial or even kind of silly to some people, I think you can usually find a nugget of wisdom in almost anything if you look closely enough.
If a community won't accept you for who you are, or if they decide you're being too intellectual or acting like you're somehow better than everyone else, then maybe that just isn't your crowd. It might be best to just move on...

I'd have to agree with that, honestly, 😎

Elysium said:bipolar, I honestly don't get why you feel the need to jump in here... but seriously...
I mean, do you actually think you're being wise..?
because your post is just a total mess, from basically every angle imaginable!

got anything to say about that?
if not, then goodbye

honestly, I'm still waiting for someone worth talking to

I have to admit, I actually really liked bipolar's post, 😁 ,
and regarding that whole thing about waiting for a conversation partner, maybe you could try putting in a little more effort and actually specify what exactly you want to debate,

for instance, here is something that's been on my mind
when we talk about high-quality things, we usually say they're better, and we tend to assign them a higher value or a higher price tag

but can we really say one person is higher quality than another?
like, if we say someone is a "better" person, does that inherently make them more of a "high-quality" individual compared to someone else

or perhaps we value certain people more, saying they are more precious, yet that doesn't necessarily mean they are a better person—so would you consider such a person to be higher quality?

or is it possible that a human being just can't be measured by a standard of quality at all

ironcyclist78 said:I mean, I feel like emotional intelligence is basically just a fancy way of saying someone knows how to manipulate people. It seems like we used to just call it conformity, but now we’ve rebranded it as "social intelligence." Honestly, I didn't even realize that Hitler was considered so "socially intelligent" by those standards. 😈 Apparently, according to Daniel Goleman, he was.

Well, I suppose it makes sense that Hitler had high EI, because if you want to control massive crowds like that, you really have to understand what makes them tick...
and it isn't just about being emotionally intelligent; he was actually quite brilliant in his own way, though he was clearly a deeply disturbed individual... and his attempt to "purify" the world ended up being, well, catastrophic...

Kenneth Ward8 said:hmm... I don't know, I guess I'm not just looking for peace seeking, you know, that spiritual kind of thing where you reach some sort of inner harmony through meditation or just pulling away from everything to find balance... I also think I'm looking for emotional happiness and having a good time, just pure joy and fun. I don't really see myself as strictly one or the other... I'm just here, being who I am. A human being, living on this earth. I need water and food, sure... but I need happiness and peace too.

okay, I just have one question, though, what does peace actually mean to you?
because it seems pretty obvious to me that everyone here has a totally different idea of what peace looks like...

I feel like peace, like I’ve mentioned before, is more of a state where our soul feels happy, and to me, that doesn't necessarily mean being passive—in my case, it actually means being incredibly active...

I’ve always felt that mass activism isn't necessarily the best approach, mostly because I think that first instinct of self-preservation usually ends up taking over everything, you know? It seems to me that when things get intense, everyone's primary focus shifts toward their own survival, and people start looking at the casualty counts—not just from some chaotic retreat, but from those dangerous surges in a crowd at places like a massive Coachella set or a packed stadium concert...
so, if you ask me, I suppose it’s probably a bit safer to stay on the fringes of the crowd rather than right in the thick of it...

Quincy:

quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kyle Nelson2 says: I’ve been wondering lately if we’re the crazy ones for being peace seeking, or if it's actually those people who aren't looking for anything at all. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In my view, it's definitely you folks who are searching. Those who aren't looking for anything... well, I suppose they already have everything they need.

I don't think we're crazy at all, really; I just think we're aware enough to realize that besides what we currently possess, there might be something else out there—something we haven't quite grasped yet—that could potentially make our lives better or maybe help us evolve our consciousness so we can truly get to know ourselves on a deeper level.

And, I guess I also agree with everyone else here that "peace" is such a deeply personal thing, so it probably makes sense that it should be defined by whoever is actually using the term.

For me, personally, peace is just that feeling of being completely content with who I am.

I mean, sure, I’m susceptible to herd mentality, but really only if I actually let it happen to me.
No law in the United States can physically stop me from taking a life, but I have to be fully aware that an act like that carries its own weight—a set of consequences that naturally flow from it.
And honestly, all of that depends on the kind of society I find myself in.

But always, and I mean absolutely always, I’ll be conscious of my ability to choose, and I’ll probably spend a lot of time weighing the fallout. If I start blending into the crowd, becoming just another part of the surrounding noise, then I feel like I'm losing myself; I don't want to be just another cog in the machine, I want to exist as a fully self-aware being, while everyone else can go ahead and make up the mass.

So, here’s a question for you—it’s a bit extreme, I know, but maybe it helps illustrate what I’m getting at.

Imagine two guys walk up to you carrying three guns. They hand you one of those guns, which only has a single bullet in it, and they bring along a third person. They look at you and say, "Look, we've got one gun with one bullet, there are four of us here, so use it however you see fit."
The possibilities are basically this:
if you kill the newcomer, who hasn't done a single thing wrong, you get to live,
if you take your own life, the innocent person lives,
or if you try to kill one of the two guys with the guns, the other one is just going to kill both you and the innocent person.

The choice is yours, and what you decide to do is up to you, but you’re definitely going to have to live with whatever happens next—or, well, you won't be around to live with anything at all.🙂)

I suppose my take on it is that nobody can really dictate how we go about improving our own EQ, though I guess people can certainly help us find a direction by opening up doors that might have felt locked before.

But at the end of the day, the path is entirely ours to walk, and the journey toward becoming better versions of ourselves stays rooted within us; it’s something we have to navigate on our own, using the only tool we truly possess—ourselves.

I’ve always felt that intelligence is something we're born with, though I suppose it needs to be nurtured in a specific way if it's ever going to evolve into something deeper—like actual wisdom, or maybe just a sense of capability. But then again, as my colleague mentioned, since the authors basically defined EI as emotional intelligence anyway, I guess there isn't much point in trying to define a separate category for it.

And honestly, I'm on the same page as him here.
I think the real crux of the matter is how much influence we can actually exert over its development, you know? Like, how can we refine it or perhaps "leverage" it so that life feels a bit more seamless and pleasant? It's about moving past being just self-aware animals—though, let's be honest, some people aren't even fully aware of themselves, they're just hyper-focused on their own basic impulses or... well, physical urges 😉—and instead becoming truly aware of other people and their emotions. If we do that, we might actually improve the quality of life for everyone, since we're all social creatures after all.

Also, I tend to think that all this bickering, putting others down, and general insults are really just steps backward when it comes to developing EI. On the flip side, things like tolerance, truly listening, observing, and just spending quality time with the people we care about... those feel like real steps forward.

Alex Rogers96 said:It’s all about rationalization versus delusion.

👍

That’s pretty much exactly it, I suppose. I try to lean on my rational side as much as possible, just so I can figure out what my actual, genuine desires are versus whatever it is the masses are pushing on me, you know? It helps me see if there's some kind of flaw or if I'm actually doing the right thing, which I think is necessary if I want to truly understand my own actions and, well, take real responsibility for them down the line...

I find myself agreeing with anyone who feels they’ve managed to distance themselves from the crowd, mostly because I feel that way too—I’m an individual, not just some nameless part of a mob. For me, at any given moment, I am solely responsible for my own actions, well, unless I’m feeling particularly uncharitable and decide to shift the blame onto someone else 🙂.
But the "masses," as people call them, seem to lack a true sense of self; they act more like a collection of social products that can't really be held accountable for anything since they're constantly being shaped by societal norms, various prohibitions, or what's permitted
.
As far as I'm concerned, no rule or restriction ever truly binds me, except for the ones I simply choose not to follow
. It’s just how I see things, since I consider myself a free agent, though I’m also quite mindful that every single move I make carries its own weight of responsibility
. For instance, if I were to jaywalk across a street here in Chicago, I’d be the one paying the ticket if a police officer caught me 🙂.
At the end of the day, I’m always the one choosing my path, even if there are certain moments where I might decide to blend in and behave like PART of the crowd
.

I honestly don't quite get why some potentially great discussions have to be completely derailed by people acting all high and mighty and getting into these petty arguments,

it’s funny how people usually act as a mirror for us,
where we end up venting about our own flaws
while we just sit back and admire their virtues,

so I suppose you might as well just vent at yourselves and admire your own greatness instead,

and regarding EI, I’ve never really been a huge fan of the term itself, because I tend to think that how we treat others and how we learn to recognize what someone else is feeling is more of a skill you pick up through life experience,
whereas intelligence feels like something more innate, you know, like a raw potential we're born with that we just have to work on developing over time...