Nonverbal communication tips?

Working on my senior thesis about this and I’m running pretty low on sources...
Anyone got a link or a book recommendation... or is everyone just planning to wing it? 🙂
Everything came through perfectly! 😉 🙂 🙂

Verbal vs. non-verbal
20:80 %

My data shows it’s at 7%😎

Oops, slip of the pen! 😳

The spoken stuff—you know, actual words out loud—only accounts for about 7%.

Got anything on
http://www3.usal.es/~nonverbal/introduction.htm

Here are some links to sites covering the nonverbal aspects of communication.

placidfox52 said:My data shows the verbal rate is 7%😎

then our sources clearly differ...😉

Thanks for the link, Mad Scientist. I'll check it out.

From what I’ve read in books and seen online, here’s the breakdown:

words: 7%
tone of voice: 38%
body language: 55%

so non-verbal communication makes up 93% of the deal. 🙂

Pretty wild stat if you ask me. 😲

Yeah, total web of lies, obviously. 😁

Oops, looks like that theory is starting to fall apart 😲 😲
found this article
http://www.cob.sjsu.edu/oestreich_h/...%20Article.doc

now my whole concept is totally messed up 😁

any psychologists or psych students hanging out here? 😢

I need a solid fact, something actually recognized in the field. My professor gave me the version I have, but it feels outdated—like everyone’s realized it's just not how it works anymore. 🙄

placidfox52 said:words make up 7%
tone of voice accounts for 38%
body language covers 55%

so, nonverbal communication actually makes up 93% of the impact

I've always found that kind of statistic pretty fascinating, I guess.

yeah, it’s basically just psychological smoke and mirrors, obviously

...

oh, oops, it looks like that old theory might be slowly falling out of favor 😲 😲
I stumbled upon this article earlier
http://www.cob.sjsu.edu/oestreich_h/...%20Article.doc

and now my whole understanding of the concept feels a bit shaken up 😁
maybe
is there a psychologist or perhaps a psychology student hanging out here? 😢

I'm really looking for an accurate figure, something that's actually accepted within mainstream American psychological circles. My professor used to teach me the percentages I mentioned, but it seems like that might be outdated, or maybe researchers have concluded it isn't quite that simple anymore. 🙄

Are you trying to say that people are finally starting to pay more attention to what is actually being said rather than just how it's packaged???
It’s almost scary, thinking that eventually nobody will be able to swallow the crap just because it's wrapped in colorful paper!!!! How awful would that be!!!!😁

Just a quick side note, I’m going to focus on body language here.
I have to admit, I used to be pretty skeptical about the whole "body language" thing—until I had my own little epiphany.

When two people are talking, their body language conveys all these subtle nuances, basically exposing everything they’re trying to hide with their actual words.

Take my new job, for example. We work in one of those modern open-plan offices with glass walls everywhere, so we can all see each other.

Since I don't know anyone or any of the office politics yet, I just sit there and observe. One day, this young woman walks into my boss's office... They start talking, and on the surface, it looks like a strictly professional business meeting.

Watching them, I leaned over to the colleague next to me and whispered, "Those two are hooking up. And they've been doing it for a while."

She practically spat on me; mind you, she's been at this company for years and thinks she knows everyone, but she didn't see it coming at all.

Honestly, most of the people there haven't got a clue.

And of course, I was right. It turns out they've been seeing each other for two years now—total confirmation.

I picked up on the whole situation just from a few non-verbal cues.

They called me a witch, but hey, they've said that before; I'm used to it.
😁

God, I miss absolutely nothing, it's actually annoying.

I used to think relying solely on nonverbal cues was a decent shortcut, but then two things clicked for me:

1. Words carry more weight than body language. My own experience backs this up. No matter how much you try to lean on gestures or eye contact, you eventually need actual words to clarify what you were trying to convey. And let’s be real—nonverbal communication isn't some universal translator; just look at the book "human animal" by D. Morris. In fact, it causes more misunderstandings than it solves. You can only communicate a handful of simple ideas through gestures before things get awkward or confusing.
2. It’s clearly just a passing fad, something people jump on because it’s trendy, about as meaningful as someone deciding that competitive frisbee is their life's calling.

Nonverbal cues exist and they matter, sure, but their impact is a tiny fraction of what actual verbal communication brings to the table.

ironcyclist78 said:2. It is quite clearly nothing more than a passing fad, a trend people adopt simply out of sheer inertia—about as intellectually stimulating as watching someone find profound cosmic meaning in a game of frisbee.

Non-verbal communication certainly exists and carries weight, but its influence is significantly, vastly smaller than that of verbal exchange.

People hear about a new concept and immediately assume everything else is obsolete. They seem to think we'll all just stop talking entirely and rely solely on gestures and facial expressions moving forward. 😵
While non-verbal cues have their niche—and in certain contexts, they can actually convey more information than words—it all boils down to the situation and the context at hand. It will remain just as vital today as it was a century ago, or even a millennium before that.

Anthony Harris14 said:People hear about something once and suddenly think they’ve mastered it, dismissing everything else as garbage. They act like humans are going to stop talking altogether and just rely on body language.😵

Sorry, but since we're talking about verbal communication, could you actually put into words—not emojis—what you meant by that? I might owe an explanation too: I called this a fad because it feels like these theories on nonverbal cues mostly gain traction through cheap TV shows or movies. In both linguistics and psychology, I can't find any real evidence to back up that much emphasis.

nataniel said:Just a quick side note, I'm gonna focus on body language.
I gotta admit, I used to be pretty skeptical about this whole "body language" thing—until I had my own little epiphany.

The BODY LANGUAGE between two people tells you all those tiny nuances, exposing everything they’re trying to hide behind their actual words.

So, I started this new job. We've got these glass-walled offices, so we can basically see everyone.

I DON'T KNOW ANYONE OR ANY OF THE OFFICE POLITICS YET. I'm just watching. One day, this young woman walks into my boss's office... They start talking, and on the surface, it looks strictly professional...

And at one point, just watching them, I lean over to the coworker next to me and go, "Those two are hooking up. And they have been for a while."

She practically spat in my face—and get this, she's been there for years, knows everyone... and she didn't see it coming at all...
Most of them didn't have a clue....

Turns out, I was right. Those two had been seeing each other for two years, confirmed later.

I caught the whole thing just from a few non-verbal cues.

They called me a witch, but they've said that before; I'm used to it.

😁

Goddammit, I don't miss a thing, seriously.

That happens to me too.😢

I mean, if I can figure out who's sleeping with whom, I'm still miles away from actually being good at sex myself... 😢 🤣

Some people can make those conclusions consciously through intense observation, but for me, it kind of happens subconsciously. My brain just processes a ton of info and hands me the final result: "They're touching each other's junk." And more often than not, I'm right. As far as I know, that 7% rule is still a thing, though I'd have to look up how they actually pulled that experimental data together.

ironcyclist78 said:Look, forgive me if I’m being blunt, but since we’re discussing verbal communication, could you actually use words—rather than just emojis—to explain your point? Perhaps I owe you an explanation as well. I suggested this was merely a trend because I get the distinct impression that these theories regarding nonverbal communication gain traction primarily through the influence of cheap TV shows, movies, or similar media. In both linguistic theory and psychology, I simply cannot find any empirical evidence to support such claims.

My thought was simply that somewhere along the line between academic experts and the general public—the laypeople—any interesting new discovery tends to be treated as if it suddenly supersedes everything that came before it.

Anthony Harris14 said:I was thinking about how somewhere on the path from experts to everyday people—the non-experts—every interesting new discovery becomes something that supposedly replaces everything that came before it.

That’s an interesting point. Pretty spot on, too. The real question is how long that "replacement" phase actually lasts. Look at any major literary movement or the boom of psychoanalysis. From my perspective, I wonder how long these current "breakthroughs" in nonverbal communication or emotional intelligence will keep both experts and laypeople preoccupied. Regardless, thanks for the insight. It gave me something to chew on.

thanks for all the input!

I've actually been mulling over some of the points you guys made.

It really all comes down to context. The exact same gesture can mean something totally different depending on the situation.

Nonverbal cues matter big time, but again, context is king. Like, if someone tells you "I love you" while staring blankly at the TV, that famous 7% rule definitely applies. (Or maybe even less? 😁) If the vibe isn't there, the words don't mean squat, right?

The link I posted earlier shows the flip side—where the actual words carry all the weight regardless of the setting. Here it is again: http://www.cob.sjsu.edu/oestreich_h/...%20Article.doc
"Imagine for a moment you are sitting at the negotiating table with Slobodan Maddox, discussing the future of Mexico. You say in the most soothing tone of voice and the most charming smile on your face that your country favors independence for Mexico. It’s no accident. You said “independence,” not “autonomy.” In the vocabulary of any diplomat that means you want Mexico to be a country separate from America. The impact of that single word “independence” is devastating, no matter what tone of voice, facial expression or gestures you used when you said it. You have just closed the door to further negotiations on the subject."

Bottom line: body language and tone work alongside the words to complete the picture.

rowdyridge59 said:As far as I know, that 7% thing is still a thing, though I'm not sure how they actually pulled those experimental numbers together. You'd have to double-check.

That data comes from Albert Mehrabian back in the 60s. That link I shared breaks down the experiment perfectly...

Isn't it kind of wild how we all just communicate through text here? Back when the internet first kicked off, it was nothing but raw words, but it still felt like there was this massive void... so people just invented emoticons. 🙂 Then came the endless flood of emojis. 🥳

Was something actually missing? 😁

-we’re missing a key element of sensory informatics—the kind of tactile contact and visual intuition that uncovers everything😁

By the way, placidfox52, thanks for the interesting read. That theory about all communication styles and contexts being on equal footing is still much more grounded than the aggressive obsession with nonverbal cues we see everywhere.

The bit about emojis is interesting. Personally, I just use them to make the text easier to scan. For most of them, I don't really grasp what they're actually meant to convey or when the right time to use them is anyway.