Posts by Noah Sanchez7

Paul Thomas9 said:Got a bit of a situation here and wondering if anyone can help me out. I see people talking about schizophrenia, but honestly, I don't have the energy to read through all those long articles right now. Could someone just give me a quick rundown on what it actually is? I’ve been browsing different sites and started seeing myself in the symptoms, and now I'm just spiraling... I don't know what to think. If I've finally lost it, then yeah, I guess I'm screwed, but I have no clue what kind of mental health issue I'm actually dealing with. If you guys want me to vent about how I'm feeling and describe my symptoms, I can do that... thanks, cheers

Feel free to write openly and honestly..

I think I've scrolled through forums for similar reasons before. This one seemed like the best option..

At first, I thought I was crazy—insane, whatever you want to call it—but then I slowly started doubting that I was the crazy one, until I reached a stage where I became certain that I wasn't the problem, but everyone else was. So, if we take the standard medical view as the baseline, I guess I am still technically schizo..

🙂

How much lithium are you taking on a daily basis?
What kind of effect does it have?
Does it act as a stabilizer or a depressant?

What would happen if someone took ten doses all at once?

Alex Sullivan5 said:I’m 18 and I need some honest insight here. I’ve never been much of a communicator—social anxiety has always kept me pretty withdrawn... At 13, I started building this internal world where I was actually popular. I thought it was just a phase, a childish coping mechanism that would pass, but it’s persisted into my adulthood. I’m living this "double life"... I know it isn't healthy, though there's a small comfort in knowing I can snap back to reality the second my mom walks into the room. It shows I can still distinguish what’s real from what’s imagined. Still, it’s terrifying. This inner world is constantly running in the background—in there, I’m outgoing, relaxed, and I even have a boyfriend who loves me... I need to know if this is the beginning of schizophrenia. A few years ago, I actually went as far as screaming that I had leukemia. I continue to tell my parents how deeply unhappy I am, convincing myself I’m suffering from various terminal illnesses—to the point where I’ve lied to my closest friends about it. I don't want to lie, but the impulse feels stronger than my willpower. I also read one of your posts about feeling pain or a sense of choking... sometimes the anxiety hits me so hard that my very bones ache, and I start having suicidal ideations. My legs feel restless, panic sets in, and while I know it's psychological, I can't seem to stop it. My intuition is also incredibly intense—I find myself predicting things, communicating with people in my dreams... if someone is struggling, I'll dream of them, and then later hear that they really were depressed and needed help. But these "movies" playing in my head, this double life I can't switch off... I'm scared of how far this will go and how it might eventually tear my family apart. Please, tell me what this is.

Dear Anne, if you're in love with your own fantasy, just lean into it without holding anything back.
Forget about what's considered "normal" and forget the idea that you need to change just to fit in with everyone else. Those "normal" people don't have lives that are any more interesting than yours—if anything, yours is better. You're a dreamer, an artist, a beautiful soul...

Bradley Cruz53 said:It’s pretty damn unfair how we don't all start from the same baseline. Some people are basically running the same race as everyone else, but they’re carrying a backpack full of bricks on their backs. You can’t just drop the pack, but you *can* choose not to spend the whole time looking over your shoulder, crying about how heavy it is. If your load is three times heavier than theirs, you’re going to end up three times stronger. And honestly, who do you think is the real badass at the finish line? The guy who crossed first, or the one who came in second while lugging around 65 pounds of extra weight? The crowd wouldn't even blink at the winner. Sometimes life throws us these absolute curveballs just so we end up being much better versions of ourselves than if we’d been born with a silver spoon in our mouths. Stay positive. Keep the faith.

I love it when people use such vivid metaphors..

George Jackson5 said:Just go ahead and do it—see what kind of hell breaks loose.
Who cares, anyway? You’ll probably just get hit by a car tomorrow. 🙄 🙄 🙄

What?

dustyhound5 said:Heh...😁

It’s just an old American proverb, you know? I'm totally being serious here.

Forget about society; you learn best from your own mistakes..👍

dustyhound5 said:The fools learn from their own mistakes, while the smart ones learn from everyone else's, right?
Don't take it personally, but I don't need to start lighting up cigarettes just to realize I'm wrecking my lungs, do I?

Anyway, I actually know a few former users personally. They were hardcore addicts, man. It's honestly a miracle they made it out. Now they're just trying to live normal lives—grinding through college, looking for steady jobs, all that stuff.
Some of them picked up the Hepatitis C virus, and their health just isn't what it used to be before they started using. Their brains don't quite fire on all cylinders like they did before, either. Drugs wreck your brain; you know that much.

That's about the dumbest thing I've ever heard...😲

Please don't be offended.

And vice versa, naturally..

northernsailor said:Well, it isn't quite as if your mother gave birth to you just so you could wander aimlessly through life without a care. Do you honestly think she won't feel the fallout too?!🙂div>

Well, that’s more of a philosophical question, really. I mean, she is who she is, and I am who I am. If she decides she wants to—or if she's just happy to—knock back half a liter of moonshine every single day, there isn't much I can do about it.

northernsailor said:Hey.🙂

Here is a bit of well-intentioned advice—the kind you’d usually get from a fortune teller on a street corner—but I feel compelled to reiterate it because, frankly, I think you brushed it off far too quickly.

I suspect it wouldn't just be a good idea for you to go volunteer somewhere... it would be an absolute stroke of genius.
Personally, I’m advocating for the establishment of a dedicated facility for abandoned and neglected children.
Believe me, if you actually follow through with that, you won't find yourself constantly questioning the meaning of life and everything else quite so often.
You want to understand what it truly means to be lost? To feel like life has just trampled you underfoot? Or to find yourself staring at the world and wondering, "Where did the humanity go?"
Just imagine what those kids would offer if they were given even a shred of attention or affection... just a tiny bit... nothing more. I truly believe that if you did, all those existential questions of yours about the meaning of life and such would be answered instantly. Or, at the very least, you'd finally realize they don't actually require nearly as much of your focus as you seem to think.

Beyond all that, I think you’d find some extra motivation to quit if you realized the reality of the situation: most of the kids there are just children of addicts. They're told they were "only left alone for a few months until their parents got clean." Yeah, right. Sure.

Well, I certainly hope you give it a shot at least once.

Greetings.😘

You aren't the first person to suggest that to me, and it had crossed my mind too.
I don't think there's anything like that in my small town, but maybe I'll head over to New York City to find something.
People have suggested things like that for my own therapy.
And I figure doing that helps build up some good karma, which is really important and something I definitely need more of.
Thanks for the advice..

And you know what, all sorts of ideas like that have popped into my head. Money isn't the issue. But then I remember I'd need a visa and all that other nonsense.
It's just one more thing for you guys to throw at us with these visa requirements, great job.
I realized I'm literally trapped in a 300-mile radius of 311 miles. It's creepy!

I'll find something like that if I don't end up working at the car wash (my neighbor is opening one soon)... That counts as therapy too.. washing cars all day 🙄

love ya

wearyowl29 said:Coming soon, coming very soon!😛

Don't just rush through it! I don't want to finish a book only to find the ending totally underwhelming. The ending is huge, maybe even the most important part.
So take your time, you have all the time in the world..
😘

wearyowl29 said:Well, maybe, maybe...😛

I want to buy your book!🙂

wearyowl29 said:If I had any kind of magic power, I’d hand out pieces of a simple pink eraser to every soul suffering like that...
If I held the power, I’d give all those hearts a massive dose of courage...
If I had that kind of strength, nobody in this world would ever have to go through that...

But, listen, we can't just rub out the past with an eraser. What we *can* do is shift our focus away from it. We shouldn't lean on those old memories like a crutch; instead, we need to stand tall and walk firmly on this American soil.
You can't just go to a store and buy personal bravery, but you can build it. You build it by stepping away from what was and actually living in the right now.
We can't stop evil from happening, but we sure as heck don't have to replay it inside ourselves like some endless horror movie loop. If we do, we risk becoming just like the people who hurt us—cold, selfish... just plain mean.

If I actually had a superpower like that... well, I’d patent it!

All I have is a bit of advice, which you can take or leave; whatever you're already good at—and I'm sure you have plenty of talents—do it even better. Aim to be the best version of yourself. Take what you love and dive deep, but don't get lost in it. Find that spark right next to passion: creativity. Be different. Be strong. Wake up those hidden potentials! Even if you feel less smart, less pretty, heavier, or more boring than everyone else, you are uniquely you. When the dust settles and everyone else is gone, you'll still be yourself—and that makes you special. Use that! One day, that desperate urge to fit in will feel like dead weight, and honestly, that's the first real step toward growing up.👍

👏

aren't you some kind of writer?

quietranger14 said:You aren't being pathetic. I get it—everyone deals with their own baggage, and honestly, I’d love to just sit down for a coffee with my dad and actually talk, too. But I know deep down that wouldn't change a thing. I'm sorry you're going through all this—I was just reading your thread and 👍
He didn't just say those things to me once upon a time; he kept it up during everything, even afterward. I don't try to wrap my head around his logic because I feel like I'd end up becoming him just to understand... and that scares the hell out of me. He had to control everything—every single detail of my life. Where I went, who my friends were—he'd even wait for me after school just to watch who I hung out with, making sure there wasn't some guy nearby trying to steal me away. Now, I worry that I’m subconsciously trying to micromanage the people around me, even though I swear I'm not. I work so hard to avoid the kind of aggressive outbursts he had (including the physical stuff). I’m terrified I'll wake up one morning and realize I've turned into him.
That is the last thing I ever want to be.

Ugh... You know, I consider myself an open-minded person, but this sounds incredibly heavy. I don't mean you personally—you're unfortunately a victim of your father's issues.
Now, about being a "victim"... maybe you aren't, and maybe you're just overthinking things. If you start convincing yourself that you'll wake up one day as him, that's probably exactly what will happen.
Self-suggestion is a powerful thing.

Let's dive a little deeper into your old man's psyche. I'm no psychologist, but I'm certain he wouldn't be anything like him, although...
Man, this is a really intense topic.
Besides watching you like a daughter, did he also watch you as a woman? You know what I mean...
Regarding the abuse, was it direct, or more like... uncomfortable touching, for example?
Have you seen the movie "Oldboy"?
If not, I highly recommend it. Head to a rental shop or find it online; it might help shift your perspective...

Sending you my best. I'm not sure where you're located, but it's already 3:23 AM here, so I'm heading to bed.

I just happened to stumble upon this after you started the thread.

Your dad told you that you were fat, ugly, and stupid, and then he abused you? Are you pulling my leg or what?

I don't know anyone who went through anything like that. I've heard it happens quite often, but I find it hard to wrap my head around. I don't think even animals behave that way.
Cale is an idiot. A total jerk, really..

I get that it’s a shock, but we all have our traumas. My dad passed away seven years ago when I was 14, and a few years before that, I lost my grandpa, my other grandpa, and my great-grandmother who looked after me when I was little.
We all lived in the same house (except for the second grandpa), so for me, my family just felt like it was cut in half overnight..
I wasn't even aware at the time that it was a trauma for me. I think maybe it was in that moment, but regarding everything that followed... I don't know, maybe it was.
Honestly, what I'd love most is to be able to sit down with Cale for a coffee for about three hours right now. I think that would be enough time for him to explain the things I'm curious about—specifically, helping me find my way in life..🙂

Anyway, I won't get all sentimental on you; you're the one dealing with the actual issue..

Morgan Hernandez said:You have the freedom to choose any life you want, provided you aren't hurting anyone else—though I suspect watching you self-destruct will be hell on your parents.

People aren't strong. Most are just putting on a show.

But I'm not hurting them. I'm only hurting myself.

quietranger14 said:I’m struggling with low self-esteem—a leftover relic from when my father sexually abused me. I’ve worked through most of the trauma from that era, but this lack of self-worth keeps holding me back in so many ways.
First off, I can't stop comparing myself to everyone else. I’m in college right now and my grades are solid—just like they were in high school and middle school—but I never actually feel proud of those achievements.
Then there’s my body. Even though I have moments where I look in the mirror and think, "Okay, I actually look good," that feeling evaporates within five minutes. Suddenly, I’m just ugly, overweight, and—God knows what else. I’m constantly jumping from one diet to the next, even though I know deep down that no diet on the planet is going to fix how I feel inside.
Third, I struggle to value anything I’ve accomplished. For instance, I survived sexual abuse, lived through a diagnosis of anxious depression, was hospitalized after a suicide attempt, and even saw my abuser behind bars for eight years—yet I still don't give myself credit for surviving all that. Nothing I do feels significant because I tell myself anyone could do it, even though I know in my heart that isn't true.
I don't know... I just really want to learn how to value myself as a person—as someone smart and beautiful (which I do believe during my best moments) and capable. I’d love some help navigating this.
Thanks

😠 😠 😠 😠 😠 😠 😠 😠

I can't believe this..

Look, I honestly don't know what that feels like and I can't even begin to imagine... How much does that childhood trauma actually affect you? Can you still feel it?

As for self-esteem, I think mine might be even worse than yours. I often find myself feeling like Kurt Cobain: "I hate myself and I want to die".
I'm not ugly, I'm not (excessively) overweight, I don't have weird features or anything. For me, it's more of a revolt; I just don't like the things I see around me, and then I start tearing myself down..
How old are you? I'm guessing around 20.
Honestly, the constant dieting and stuff is so common nowadays that it's almost become the norm. 😉

Terry Anderson10 said:Here is how I personally interpret your situation:
Nobody alive interests me, everyone irritates me, I have zero desire to fake a smile for anyone, so I stay serious. I don't trust a soul. I feel alone, sad, misunderstood, and convinced that no one can actually grasp what I'm going through:

That is a brutal feeling, I know...

So, I head out of the city into nature—must be nature—completely solo. I go, I walk, I stop thinking. I am where nobody else is, yet somehow, it feels more real. I just want to get away from people, the acting, and all the damn fakery.

I always feel significantly better afterward.

As for what you said... go far away, but do it in your mind. Don't obsess over the physical distance, because damn it, you're still right here for now.
We ALL have to stay engaged with this world. If we check out, we're all screwed. It is what it is. Just DON'T overthink it—which seems to be exactly what you're doing—otherwise, you'll never find your footing.
Try the nature thing. Walk. Exhaust yourself. Be alone (though you aren't truly alone), and STOP thinking. Give your brain a rest, for God's sake. I don't even know how to explain it to you.

What is actually bothering you most? The state of the world? Forget them. All of them. Every single one of us—you, me, every individual—lives strictly for themselves.
Stop carrying the weight of the world. Turn that focus inward instead.

🙂

I think you've hit on the core of the issue. The question is why the world is set up such that you end up just exhausting yourself within it.
Why is it structured this way? Maybe I know the answer, but I still find myself asking why..

To be honest, I didn't "plan" to come to this world just to suffer and struggle and look at images every day that I don't want to see.. I wonder who is behind it?
So why is everything like this..

And yeah, I'm currently in my third year of college (studying business administration 😍 — seems fitting) and I'll be starting my fourth soon, which I'll finish too. Don't ask me why I enrolled...
Once I'm done, I think I'll finally have the choice: whether to stay in this turbulent chaos—which isn't actually all bad, if you ignore the "fake smiles"—or to climb some mountain, maybe move somewhere near the coast or even to Jamaica or something, and just enjoy myself and nature...

I could even carry on the species there, in whatever way I feel is right, if not...

In truth, is continuing the species a human, biological, natural (not moral!) obligation?

Terry Anderson10 said:Hey, I'm alright.
Honestly, today was just one massive clusterfuck: my boyfriend is playing games, and at work, it’s nothing but constant complaining about me—this isn't right, that isn't working. Just endless whining.
Everything feels so incredibly messed up right now, I can barely wrap my head around it.
I honestly feel like just disappearing to some remote spot where there isn't a soul in sight. Truly.

How about you? Is things looking any better on your end... mentally speaking? 😉

Things are better on my end. Still, there’s this lingering uncertainty; honestly, I’m not sure about anything anymore.
When you mentioned wanting to go somewhere with no people, maybe that’s exactly where my own conflict lies.

Should I try to dive back into the world, or just disappear somewhere far, far away?

Terry Anderson10 said:😘

How are you doing? 🙂