Posts by vividnomad2

Larry Lewis said:Well, I decided to take matters into my own hands regarding the alcohol—stopped drinking it entirely—and I tapered down the antipsychotics a bit, too... and, well, the result isn't exactly a miracle, but it isn't a disaster either. Honestly, the biggest change is just that I don't feel like a total zombie anymore—which, frankly, was the main issue with being on that Valax medication; it felt like living in a fog. Anyway, I went ahead and scheduled an appointment with a private practitioner—just to get a professional opinion on where I stand and see what the roadmap looks like. She isn't even that expensive, $67actually.

That’s probably the lowest rate you'll find, though, since they usually charge a bit more for initial consultations after the first visit, maybe around $133. I’m still mulling over the idea of starting psychotherapy or something similar; I’ve thought about seeing someone privately to figure out the best path forward, but if I’m being completely honest with myself, I just don't think I'm quite ready for that step yet.

Larry Lewis said:Honestly, even when I’m ostensibly "off the clock," I find myself spiraling back into work mode—it’s an endless cycle, really. There is simply no finish line in sight... someone please, just grant me some semblance of freedom!!🙂

Look, there’s always going to be something on the to-do list, isn't there? It feels like as soon as you cross one thing off, two more pop up in its place. But I’ve learned over the years—especially during those frantic weeks when my workload at the firm felt completely unmanageable—that you really have to learn how to distinguish between what actually matters and the stuff that's just noise. Some things are essential, sure, but so many tasks are just secondary distractions that don't actually move the needle.
How has therapy been treating you lately? I’m curious if you feel like it's actually helping you find some balance, or if it just feels like you're constantly adding more weight to your mental load instead of lightening it.

Larry Lewis said:I’m not entirely sure what you mean by "intrusive"—that’s a bit vague, isn't it? Anyway, I actually have some news of my own—I finally found something to keep me busy. It’s a warehouse gig, and they’ll be paying me through a temp agency, but honestly, it beats sitting around the house wasting my life away. If the job turns out to be decent, I’ll give it my absolute all to see if I can land a permanent spot... but if it doesn't work out? Well, that’s just how the cookie crumbles, I suppose. We move on.🙂

Honestly, anything is better than sitting around doing absolutely nothing; I think I’d actually lose my mind if I didn't have something to keep me busy. 😍

Larry Lewis said:It’s pretty obvious you’re on the right stuff if they're actually disappearing—that's really what I was hoping to hear. As for me... those intrusive thoughts are still kicking my teeth in quite a bit, though they are finally starting to fade, slowly but surely.

I suppose 😍 it sounds like I'm the one struggling with those intrusive thoughts, as that's what keeps getting to me.

Larry Lewis said:So, I’ve gone ahead and cut my antipsychotic dosage in half—just a trial run, really—and, strangely enough, I actually feel better. If things start getting heavy or if a crisis hits, I’ll just take another pill to level out, but honestly? For the last few days, I’ve felt more alive... more present... just in a better headspace overall. At the end of the day, the main thing is that the voices have quieted down significantly, and I’m holding onto this hope that, given enough time, they might just fade away for good.👍

They’ve actually vanished completely—they're gone😍 but it all feels like it's happening a bit too fast, considering I've only been on this specific regimen for a very short time.

Larry Lewis said:Hey, where have you been hiding?! How’s that new treatment treating you? Feeling any better yet?

The ringing in my ears has actually quieted down quite a bit, which is surprising since I’ve only been on this new regimen for about a week, so I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see how things progress over the next month.😍
How are things going with you? Are you feeling alright?

Larry Lewis said:I was on Seroquel myself and it worked wonders for about a year—until, out of nowhere, it just stopped doing a damn thing, so I ended up switching back to my old reliable Zyprexa.

Ran into an old buddy today—he’s dealing with both psychosis and epilepsy, and man, life isn't treating him kindly. We talked for a bit, and since I know he lives for basketball, I invited him over this Sunday to join my guys for a game. He’s always been one of those people you just gravitate toward, but seeing him like this... it weighs on you. Knowing he can't even hold down a steady job because of all this... well, it's just the cruelty of illness, I suppose.😢

My doctor mentioned she might try putting me back on Lexapro, but we need to see how I react first—I really don't want to deal with the headache of adjusting if I can help it, so we'll just see how things unfold.😍
Life is hard, and sometimes you just have to face the music, but even if he can't work right now, at least he can still get out on the court and play some hoops.

Larry Lewis said:I’m really hoping this new treatment does the trick for you—fingers crossed everything turns out alright. As for me, I had some girl reach out yesterday asking if I wanted to crash at her place so I wouldn't have to trek an hour back home on foot—but I turned her down. Honestly? I need to wake up in my own bed, not some stranger's apartment... plus, I haven't even been with anyone in six months, so it's hardly any surprise where things stand. Hehehe

They switched me over to some Seroquel because my initial treatment wasn't quite hitting the mark
so now we'll just have to see how I handle this new round
honestly, I haven't even felt like being intimate in half a year, so I'm just not in the mood for it anyway🤣

Larry Lewis said:I am truly sorry to hear you're going through that—it’s a heavy weight to carry. Please, try to get your treatment sorted out or find some way to manage it; don't just sit there and suffer through the pain.

Well, I actually have an appointment with my psychiatrist in two days, and she already mentioned that we’re switching up my medication since the current prescription hasn't been doing much for me at all.😍

Larry Lewis said:I honestly don’t know what else to tell you—it’s one of those things where there isn't a roadmap—but I truly believe these bouts of trouble eventually run their course. Some people find their way out faster than others, while some have to grind through a much longer stretch. I actually knew a girl back in college who dealt with hearing voices for over a year straight, and then, just like that, everything cleared up overnight. It’s unpredictable, really. Anyway, hang in there; things have to get better eventually.👍

I had the exact same thing happen to me; they vanished without a trace for a while, only to suddenly pop back up right where I left them. 😢

Larry Lewis said:Don't sweat it; they're nothing more than paper tigers, as the old blues legends used to say.😉

I can't help but wish there was some kind of magic pill out there that could just make all of this vanish into thin air.

Larry Lewis said:hahaha, honestly though, at least the vibe is solid😉

Of course 😍 I am, though if I’m being completely honest, there are moments when even I find myself a little intimidated by my own momentum.😂

Larry Lewis said:I see these absolute nuisances—these total bottom-feeders—crowding around your place for every possible reason under the sun... though, if I’m being honest, most of their reasons fall squarely into the "impossible" category. It’s frankly exhausting to witness.🤣

😂🙂 well, if "desperate" is an understatement, then I suppose we're talking about the impossible

Larry Lewis said:I truly hope he’s being sincere—really, I do. Because I find myself wandering off into these mental landscapes, these little pockets of perfection I build up in my own head, but they never last long enough. It’s always the same old story—I end up sabotaging my own peace before anyone else even gets the chance to get in my way. Dammit.🙂

Personally, I feel like I'm living in Wonderland all day long, and I haven't even touched any substances to get there.🤣

Larry Lewis said:Sure, though if you're looking for that light at the end of the tunnel, you should probably watch out for the freight train coming right at you.🙂

But hey, maybe that train is actually heading toward some magical destination, provided you just have enough faith to hop on board. 😍

Larry Lewis said:You know that feeling—that nagging anxiety where you’re actually enjoying yourself for once, but you’re terrified of overdoing it and completely blowing the whole thing? It's like walking a tightrope where one wrong move ruins the entire vibe. Honestly, I’ve been scrolling through these depressing threads on the forum lately, and man... it hits hard. It isn't just me; even the folks posting here are clearly going through it. It’s tough out there.😢

Life is essentially an exercise in enduring hardship, and we simply have to find our own ways to navigate that reality—however skillfully or clumsily we might manage it—because, at the end of the day, that's just the way the world works. 😍

Larry Lewis said:The doctor tells me I had all the hallmarks of schizophrenia—though apparently, now that the symptoms have cleared, my intrusive thoughts are just the lingering echoes of what used to be a full-blown illness. Honestly, why don't you whip up a little cocktail for yourself too? It's high time you felt better; I'm sure you've had more than enough of this nonsense lately. Yesterday, a few friends were hitting me up to go grab some drinks, but I told them I was broke and couldn't make it. I mean, I really can't justify spending money on booze when I'm already paying so much for these meds, even if the idea sounded pretty damn tempting at the time.🙂

It's basically either drink and skip your meds, or take your meds and stay sober—there isn't really a middle ground if you don't want to mess up your body chemistry and make everything ten times worse.😍

Larry Lewis said:Chris, where on earth have you vanished?! Don't let this thread die out on us—give us a sign, or at least have someone shout your name so we know you're still lurking somewhere🙂don't go getting all worked up now, I’m just messing with you—you know how my brain works, it's a bit of a chaotic mess most days and I can hardly keep my own thoughts straight sometimes🙂

I’ve often wondered who exactly convinced you that I was dealing with schizophrenia, though I suppose it's a question born out of genuine curiosity. It’s funny, really; I remember sitting in a quiet little coffee shop back in Seattle a few years ago, just watching the rain hit the window, when a similar line of questioning came my way from someone who thought they had me all figured out. How do I know they aren't "real"? Well, it isn't about some grand, cinematic epiphany, but rather a quiet, steady realization that comes from observing the patterns of my own mind. There is a certain weight to reality—a texture and a consistency—that these perceptions simply lack, much like how you can tell the difference between a solid oak table and a clever hologram if you just take the time to reach out and touch it.
I’ve been feeling this strange, icy numbness lately, almost like I’ve lost my sense of touch entirely. It started after my doctor decided to take me off my antidepressants; she felt that continuing them was only fueling the psychotic episodes and making the voices much more intense. Now, she's asked me to come back in for a follow-up appointment so we can figure out our next move and see what else we can try to get things back on track. 😍
I am truly glad to hear that you're doing well.

feralowl said:I’ve already posted about my ex dealing with schizophrenia. Now, I’m back because I could really use some actual answers or even just a bit of advice.
Here's the deal: for the last three years, he’s only been picking up the kids when his parents are right there with him. He drives them back to his place, and that’s exactly how it’s written in the court order—visitation happens only when his parents are present.
But lately, for the past few days, he’s started showing up alone to grab them and driving them home by himself. I’m spiraling a bit here because I don't know if letting this slide is a smart move for the long term. Look, he’s a decent driver, but there's a massive catch. He was declared incompetent in court, and his legal capacity to handle business matters has been stripped away. Honestly, he might not even be legally allowed to get behind the wheel, but I don't know the specifics of the law.
Anyone out there have some actual, sensible advice?👍

I remember being denied my driver's license because I was on certain medications, so I can't help but wonder how he's permitted to drive if he's even had his employment rights stripped away.
Just tell his parents they need to show up with him every single time, and that should settle it.
🙂

Jessica Chavez4 said:Do they sound like people you already know—like family or close friends—or just a bunch of complete strangers?

They definitely sound familiar, almost like old acquaintances coming back into view.😂