Angela Rogers2 said:Oh, absolutely. After spending a hundred years treating women like they’re mentally inferior beings who exist solely to act as baby-making machines, I guess it might be time to finally close that book and start writing a new one.🙂
mistybison said:It’s possible that men might crave physical intimacy with someone new after being in a long-term relationship, but women certainly experience a desire to fall in love all over again with a different partner. 😉 Let's be honest. 😁
And honestly, women want to sleep with other guys again, too... just being totally real here.🙂
Angela Rogers2 said:I’m obviously talking about cattle😉—though I guess that's how most guys today operate. They just wrap their behavior in some pathetic little rationalization to make themselves feel better. It's always something like: - I was just drunk - I'm just a jerk - Women are untrustworthy, so it's just a matter of opportunity - I'm not looking for anything serious and so on... 😁
🤣 🤣 🤣
Yeah... he actually claims it's just in his DNA...
She’s just touching on those basic, old-school patterns we see everywhere in the world today... but honestly, let's not get too bogged down in the weeds right now, no real need for all that extra stress...🙄
mistybison said:It is much more effective to operate under the assumption that every individual is a universe unto themselves. 🙂
And that really IS the biggest truth there is... kind of a paradox, I guess? Like, on the surface, we're all actually the same deep, deep down... almost identical, even...
But, if you look at it from a psychological standpoint, thinking that way isn't easy at all. It's actually the exact opposite. It's harder...
It’s much simpler to just shove people into boxes. That's why those stereotypes exist—because we all cling to them so tightly...☕
I'm totally with you on that part... people shouldn't really use those differences as an excuse to avoid finding some kind of "flow" in how we talk or just live together. Like, you can't just say, "Hey honey, I cheated, but it's just my biology, you know?" 🤣
...and stuff like that...
But if we're actually trying to UNDERSTAND things—if we're looking for the real truth—then we have to look at that side of it too. It’s definitely way easier for everyone when we start from the assumption that we're all basically identical and blah blah blah...
How on earth did you guess I was thinking about Saint Therese....😁 ☕
So, listen... it’s not exactly some flashy bestseller, you know? It wasn't written just to chase trends or drop those "mind-blowing" new ideas that people down here on Earth usually obsess over...
The woman really put in the work—studying, observing, running her own little experiments... it's more like a scientific study, actually. I honestly think everything in there is true... even if I don't always find it particularly easy to swallow, if you catch my drift....😁 👍
There’s just something about that fundamental difference in how we all tick, both psychologically and socially...
I stumbled upon this super interesting book recently—kind of a modern follow-up to those classic "Man from Mars, Woman from Venus" vibes—where the author dives much deeper into the specific ways men and women communicate. It actually feels like such useful insight if you're ever doing marriage or relationship counseling...
The book is called "You don't really understand that - to live and a man in conversation" by Deborah Tanner. It’s written from a sociolinguistic perspective, basically arguing that men and women don't just learn different social roles within a culture; it’s almost like they belong to two entirely different cultures living under one roof. I really loved that idea.
The core idea is that for women, communication is mostly about building connections, whereas for men, it’s often driven by a desire to establish "status" or power... think about it in a broader sense. Like, when a woman tries to offer support—which is her primary instinct—men often perceive it as being belittled, because they see it as an indicator of weakness. And then there's the flip side: when women try to share their feelings, men frequently jump straight into "fix-it mode" or try to downplay the problem because they genuinely think they're helping by offering a solution.
The book gave me a good laugh, but honestly, it did a great job of explaining so many situations I notice in my own life and with the people around me...
For instance, I have this very strong drive to connect with people... to make sure everyone feels comfortable, supported, and just generally safe and okay. For a long time, I didn't quite get why I felt that way, and my coworkers would sometimes label it as me being overly sensitive or worrying too much about others (sometimes even at my own expense, haha). I have to admit, reading those descriptions was such a relief...🤣 I used to worry that maybe I was just being too cautious, but it turns out that's just how I'm wired. And actually, being able to pick up on what others need helps me a lot in my line of work.
On the other hand, it makes so much more sense now why some guys react the way they do... like, you'll share something vulnerable or an experience that really affected you, and suddenly my male friends feel this sudden urge to crack a joke about it.
Anyway, I highly recommend picking this up. It’s full of examples showing how, even from the time they are little kids, boys and girls are learning completely different styles of communicating with society...
So, we’ve been chatting about the internet quite a bit lately... but let's set that aside for a second...
Do you guys actually think marriage counseling can make a real difference for couples going through a rough patch? Have any of you personally tried it, or maybe know someone who has?
mistyharbor15 said:Online dating and real life aren't that different. If anything, the internet lets you curate better because we're willing to overlook physical flaws for good personality traits discovered through chat. Assuming you've filtered correctly and found someone genuine, I don't think you're right about finding a relationship being an impossible mission online.
Oh, they differ, they really do..
The selection process—how you pick people out—might be way better, but the actual pool? Man, the options are just worse...🙂
Hmm, okay... maybe we’re looking at a whole new psychological phenomenon here..
So, here's the thing... there are tons of people out there actively searching for a relationship in one specific place... Yeah, most of them have college degrees (well, at least half of them do). And since everyone seems way more obsessed with staying fit these days, let's just assume a good chunk of them look pretty decent. For single people, that matters, right? So they probably put in that extra effort to look their best when they head out..
So, you've got all these attractive moments happening... educated folks, mostly physically fit, plenty of different hobbies and interests... and then what happens?
They find someone. Someone catches their eye. Sometimes it's mutual...
But because there are so many options constantly being thrown at them, a lot of people don't want to settle on just one crush. It's that whole "plenty of fish in the sea" mentality, I guess. So they end up seeing multiple people at once—some are in actual relationships, some are just "situationships," and with others, they're just flirting. It creates this totally new kind of chaos in modern dating...
And since they stay in this loop for so long, naturally, you get breakups, total meltdowns, frustration on all sides... just a lot of confusion...
And I honestly don't think it's just the people who were already prone to playing the field or juggling multiple partners. I think so many other people are getting sucked into this "model" simply because it's so accessible and becoming the new norm....😕
I tried to write a reply to Taylor but I think my message just vanished into the digital void somewhere...🙂
Honestly, you can build any kind of image you want, and you can actually maintain it too, depending on what drives you, your skills, how much imagination you have... whatever works..
From what I’ve gathered through my own experiences scrolling online and looking for people... if I do a little filtering—you know, cutting out those "whatever" types, the married folks, the taken ones, the obviously creepy guys, the illiterate ones, the boring ones, or the drama queens—and try to narrow it down to just interesting single people; well, it turns out some people who seem interesting and single aren't actually single at all (they're stuck in some messy situation or even married), and then there are the single, "interesting" people who turn out to be anything but (unattractive, boring, or both)...
If you're a single woman just looking for a hookup, opportunities are everywhere, like finding salads at a grocery store... but if you're actually looking for a REAL RELATIONSHIP? Mission impossible. At least for any woman with half a brain...🤷
I really dig this whole "friendship shock" concept, Taylor...😁 😁 🤣
So, look... maybe it’s actually us, and not them, who are constantly scanning people... or whatever... I guess we’re all just a little bit like Jim Jordan (yikes, scary thought right there)...
But honestly, looking at how much noise there is on forums or dating sites, they all seem to share these specific traits—plus a brand new dimension where psychology isn't just going to help, it's practically going to be required soon...
Basically, we jump straight into building this virtual persona, or like, a curated image...
You, me, the mods, EVERYONE..
Anyone claiming otherwise... that person is lying (and probably stealing too)... 😁 😉
Well, I’m not exactly out here stalking people, if that’s what you were thinking... but honestly, anyone can be superficial
if they feel like it. It doesn't matter where. We can all be pretty shallow toward one another—whether we're grabbing a coffee at Starbucks, scrolling through the Internet, chatting on Discord, or sitting in some high-level conference in D.C... it really just comes down to your own personal standards.
Though, personally, I think it's way easier to lose sight of those standards when you're online.
For instance... you mentioned that you know this "Number One" guy you described inside and out? Are you totally sure about that? Do you actually know the real him? No matter how honest he seems to be writing—which is hard to truly gauge outside of real life—aren't you just getting a romanticized version? Or maybe a polished one... or just something more literary?
Through the written word, everything can sound a lot more "artistic" than it actually is in the middle of a gloomy, totally unglamorous everyday routine....
And those dating sites... man, I have to agree... half the time it feels like you're just ordering burgers off a drive-thru menu.🤣 And don't even get me started on judging our own attractiveness... that's a whole other dark rabbit hole, especially for guys.🤣
It honestly caught me off guard reading about people online, and even just meeting folks lately, how many "parallel" relationships seem to be going on at once...
Like, seriously... you see people browsing sites looking for their "soulmate," but they’ve already got someone else tucked away in the background. And don't even get me started on the whole side-story thing happening with married people...
Has the Internet just turned into this giant digital window shop for hookups where everyone is just scanning the shelves? I can't help but feel like there's this massive devaluation of all types of connections now... it's like you're just surfing through people like they're random webpages...🙄 ☕
But hey, let's get real here. We aren't talking about that happy, self-absorbed crowd that just uses apps to boost their egos—whether it's through a screen or in person. I mean the people who are actually, genuinely looking for something...
I honestly feel like the whole "psychology of searching" for a partner via apps is just totally different from how things work in real life..
It’s like this endless illusion, you know? Like there are just infinite potential partners out there and you have to swipe through everyone; move on; keep going. It makes everything feel so disconnected and, honestly, a little less human... it basically turns into a raw supply-and-demand situation where you mostly just need a knack for self-promotion....
Sure, there’s plenty of catfishing out there, obviously, but there are also all these weird new psychological layers to deal with...
Has anyone else here actually dealt with this way of meeting people?