Posts by cosmictinker21

Drew Morgan said:Unfortunately, I rarely witness anything resembling true love. It usually devolves into something repulsive quite quickly. We’ve all been brainwashed by this myth of romantic love—a myth that fuels a multi-billion dollar industry, much like how Soprano talks to his degenerate son.

it was all a dream, a whirlwind, a storm passing through...

But honestly, those are still masterpieces compared to the nonsense our mothers, friends, glossy magazines, social media, the local clique, and poorly written romance novels feed us to create these completely warped expectations of how love should actually work...

We spend our lives learning about Picasso, Gothic cathedrals, corporate management, nanotechnology, quasars, or the latest breakthrough in cancer treatment or antidepressants, but we never actually learn anything about love.🤷😢

Drew Morgan said:Horrible, what even is this?!? I saw that movie ages ago, but I don't remember any rabbit. She killed their rabbit?!? Disgusting... It’s a tired trope—when you want to inflict the ultimate cruelty, you kill someone's pet 😢

Ha. Honestly? I'd take losing a pet over having some psycho lurking around my kids, trying to get to me through them.🤷

Yeah, it’s a nice feeling to wake up and realize, "Okay, that was great, but I'm done." It’s a bit more awkward when you wake up and realize you just wasted a chunk of your life and several good evenings on something useless. Of course, there's always a chance to claw your way out of your own stupidity—or someone else's sadism—if enough time passes and you finally see things clearly enough to bail. But if you just keep choosing to suffer... well, there's no helping you at that point.

All those grand declarations about love that people think only exist in their own special little bubble... 🤣they don't really hide the sheer misery of someone being thoroughly crushed by their own delusions and someone else's lack of empathy.

Blindness is basically just a glitch between the limbic system and the frontotemporal cortex. You get so caught up in the emotional rush that you fail to see the relationship is broken. People still struggle to distinguish actual love from just being infatuated. And looking at some of the posts here, the word "love" gets used in such a hazy, dreamlike, overly romanticized way. Fine, let them have it... I just feel bad for them.😢

silentpilot6 said:But they don't actually have love... it's like being thirsty and trying to drink sand instead of water 😁 while convincing myself I've had my fill 😵
Sorry-neko can be in love with someone who doesn't return the sentiment—someone who isn't even actively mistreating them—but I honestly cannot wrap my head around how anyone could sincerely love a person who is constantly playing mind games with them, all while maintaining the delusion that the feeling is mutual 🤷... to me, that just doesn't seem healthy... which is why this falls under psychology 😁

No, sorry, I'm with you on that—it makes zero sense to me either. And I see it happening all the time in my own circles. They go on about this "eternal devotion" to some nursing home or whatever, acting like it's some grand romance. Usually, one side stays oblivious for ages. Then, once the reality finally sinks in, they don't even fight back; they just take it until they eventually crumble into a total depressive wreck.☕

silentpilot6 said:Let's take this step by step. 😁
Wasn't this supposed to be preventative too? Didn't girls who were just starting down the path of starvation join those discussions? Didn't they ask for advice on how to reach some twisted, unrealistic beauty ideal? Weren't they exchanging "brilliant ideas" 😵 on how to practically stop eating without their parents noticing? Sorry-da, if this had been a topic reserved only for long-term sufferers, your critique might actually carry weight... but that wasn't the case here.
Sorry, you can't claim they weren't reading it, especially when girls at the very beginning of an eating disorder—or heading straight for one—were actively participating.

Moving on... being foolish is an illness, but I'll ask again: can something characterized as a "temporary" lapse 😵 really be called something that lasts for years? If it lasts for years, then there is clearly something fundamentally wrong with those people.

Personal experience is the best teacher, I agree... and I've learned most of my lessons that way, though I have occasionally learned from the mistakes of others. Have you?

You call it a multilayered problem... I say people love playing philosopher, making things unnecessarily complicated when they could be simple. It's quite straightforward: you don't stay with a jerk, you don't start anything with an idiot, you don't act like a doormat for a moron, and you don't sit around weeping over a fool... if you do, it means you aren't thinking clearly and likely have much deeper, hidden issues to deal with.

But love isn't unconditional... except perhaps in a parent-child relationship, though even then, it's not always the case.
Accepting someone as they are? Fine, but why accept an idiot exactly as he is? Why accept a jealous coward exactly as he is? Why accept someone with a hundred flaws? Expecting nothing isn't the definition of love... reciprocity is. How can you fall for someone who gives you nothing, or only negative things? How can any "normal" person fall in love like that?
You say fools are the only ones who love... so what are everyone else doing? 😕Do they not like them?
Of course they do, but they have standards; they possess a bit of common sense and simply refuse to tolerate idiots.

It’s because those people aren't really in love with the partner—they’re just in love with the idea of love itself. They project that onto the other person. They’re so desperate for affection that they'll tolerate almost anything just to maintain the illusion that they're being loved by someone else. In their own heads, they "know" it's there. Everyone needs to feel like they actually matter to someone...

Drew Morgan said:So, how do you justify claiming someone was a pushover in just one relationship? Everything you listed isn't a permanent part of his character. Take masochism, for example—it isn't an inherent trait, so you can't just label him a masochist by default.

Good luck to anyone who was only a pushover in one specific relationship. Unfortunately, a lot of people have that tendency. Maybe it isn't strictly about masochism, but more about accepting whatever passes for "love" just to avoid being alone, staying relevant in the dating scene, or feeling like they actually matter to someone. So they just endure it, and endure it, hoping things will eventually turn around. Because, hey, it’s "true love," right? And for the tiny scraps of affection they receive—which they mistake for actual love—they just keep taking it...

silentpilot6 said:who’s even talking about using an avatar to flirt? you have to admit you're being a bit soft here😬
All this talk about falling in love... how long does that actually last? Three months, maybe four if you're lucky. Meanwhile, how long does being a total jerk last? For most people, way longer than that.

for me, it lasted about 15 years🤦🙈😵

It’s not really a big deal if you fall in love, because honestly, you end up being blind to half the things happening around you anyway. It’s more about those people who just refuse to let go and keep clinging to their feelings instead of just cutting off the emotional parasite...

Sean Cruz said:Of course, provided the person is actually worth it. 🙂

No, that has nothing to do with love. Perhaps I wasn't being clear enough (as usual). You don't dare love everyone, but any form of violence is out of the question. Love is purely about letting go.

I agree.

In medias res ... regarding what love actually is... what was stated above isn't it, which is why I'm writing this, rather than discussing substitutes. I essentially said the same thing you did, just in two lines.

🤣
Well, you should have said so.

There is enough closeness 🙂

I just dislike that phrase and everything people try to cram under its definition. 😉

People end up swallowing all sorts of things. Unfulfilled ideals, concepts forced upon them by their cultural environment, traditions, and general attitudes from childhood through adulthood... they just absorb these thoughts automatically as if they were their own. They incorporate them into their identity, and then when they finally mature, instead of questioning anything or forming their own judgments based on experience and actual reasoning, they just stay trapped in those old ideas...

In love and intimacy, there’s supposed to be this absolute certainty. Mostly because you accept someone fully—first through intuition, and then through conscious choice. You understand them, you're empathetic, and you don't need doubts, constant reassurance, justifications, interrogations, or trials just to feel sure about the person you love.

But that doesn't mean you should be blind or ignore obvious mistreatment from someone you think loves you as much as you love them. No, if that's happening, they don't actually love you. It's because they're afraid your love isn't "complete" enough for them. It means their pride or their ego matters more to them than the connection. In true love, you never really run into those kinds of dilemmas...

Rebecca Scott3 said:I think love can still exist even if living together is impossible... or even when it's perfectly possible, but one person just doesn't want to go there.....

The real question is why that one side refuses. If that happens, love gets reduced to nothing more than mere feelings—just an internal state. We aren't in the era of long-distance romance through handwritten letters anymore. Sure, you might feel a deep friendship, a sense of unity, closeness, or a profound connection... love, I suppose. But it's directed toward a person. Agape. What we're talking about here is romantic love for a partner, someone you actually share a life with.

Imagine what it’s actually like to love someone who is far away, knowing they are breathing, sleeping, and living their daily life with someone else. Or maybe it's mutual. Where does the love live then? To whom is it directed? And what kind of love is it? Or do people consciously choose to stay stuck in this "love" dynamic for decades without ever actually realizing it? No, I couldn't imagine doing that. From what I've experienced, and from what most people I know have gone through, trying to sustain that specific setup is basically a suicide mission. It involves way too much mutual suffering. Love is supposed to be a process; it shouldn't just pivot around one single axis and pile up like an avalanche. Eventually, that avalanche starts moving, and it pulls you straight down into the depths... I suspect that's how people think who haven't yet dealt with the long-term fallout of those kinds of relationships, or perhaps they've simply given up on reality altogether. They live in that headspace very, very sporadically. Personally, I'm not a fan. As for everyone else, if that kind of "love" works for them, then fine... enjoy it.

They say love isn't blind, but being infatuated? That’s a different story entirely. We've all been there, so let's move past the cliché. The real question is distinguishing when we're actually in love versus when we're just feeding a craving, fulfilling a need, or settling for something we've convinced ourselves is the real deal. To me, love is an ongoing process—it's about building a life together, shared experiences, and true presence. If there isn't a path toward genuine partnership and wholeness, then it isn't love. It’s just intimacy in one specific area, or maybe just longing, or whatever...

Sean Cruz said:But here’s the thing: accepting a rabbit, or a person, 😁 exactly as they are isn't actually unconditional love. Maybe you and I just define "unconditional" differently.
To me, being truly unconditional would mean expecting absolutely nothing from the other party—literally zero. I don't think any living creature is capable of that. Even in your case, that rabbit makes you happy because he plays with you and provides companionship, but there's still an element of ownership involved. That's not unconditional love. It's the same with people. Even when we claim to love someone unconditionally or say we'd die for them, we’re always subconsciously expecting something in return. In my view, unconditional love is little more than self-delusion.

Hmm, hmm... I mean, what do you really expect from your child? For them to coddle you when you get old? To respect you? Well, they'll respect you only as much as you teach them how to respect others, and they'll be smart only to the extent that you show them what matters. They'll listen to your advice only as much as you've successfully influenced their development as a parent...

And what do you expect from a husband who has been bedridden for years? You know he can't go anywhere on his own, that he's completely dependent, almost like a child. But he still looks at you, you talk through your eyes, you feel every tremor of his frail body. No, you don't exactly "expect" anything. But you know that this man is worth every drop of your sweat, every tear, every ache in your muscles and your soul...

Even with the gray hair, and the gray hair, I will still love you...
J. Shotola

Drew Morgan said:Trying to discipline my rabbit is a lost cause; the more I try to impose order, the more he rebels, plots, and executes his little schemes. It’s like trying to teach a drill sergeant how to relax. I finally realized I just have to accept him for exactly who he is—flaws and all—without trying to cage his terrible personality. Honestly, he’s the only person I’ve ever truly connected with on that level. It's fascinating, really. I've come to realize that those expensive things he trashed—my designer wool coat, high-end sandals, the custom furniture—matter far less than the connection itself.

Seriously though, I kept my cat too, didn't give him to my ex😍
but I did dump the guy who spent the whole relationship being jealous and suffocating, ha, ha🤣

Rebecca Scott3 said:Everyone’s got different experiences... different needs... different ways of looking at or understanding the world...
...no big deal... your opinion is yours...
...you don't have to read them... it's fine... I'm not some novelist living off a fan base...
....we're just swapping ideas here
.... 🙂
😉

But where exactly do those needs start to diverge? It’s simple, really. I love dancing, and you don't. He’s obsessed with bungee jumping, while just thinking about it makes my stomach do backflips. Or someone dreams of dating a blonde, marries a dark-haired powerhouse, and then spends the rest of their life searching for "the one" again... Usually, solid relationships happen when people are compatible on a spiritual, emotional, social, intellectual, and sexual level. Otherwise, you just end up with friction that can only be smoothed over by extreme tolerance, patience, and understanding. You have to rely on your own strength and self-assurance, regardless of whether the other person sees things differently or grew up in a totally different environment...

For instance, I have a massive need for affection. But I’m certainly not going to stay with someone just because they’re sweet to me, coddle me, and act all cute, only to turn around and yell at everyone else whenever they feel like it. Because eventually, that true nature is going to surface... usually right when I've finally let my guard down, thinking I'd actually found someone who truly understands my need for tenderness...

Drew Morgan said:In my experience, absolutely. When you live with an animal, you get to know their true essence, and they learn yours too. You’ll find yourself forgiving them for things a sane person would never overlook, though a total lunatic might. Sure, a pet can't pull the kind of scams a human can, but they can certainly be dominant, calculating, vengeful, selfish, or just a straight-up menace. There is no way I’m forgiving those traits in a boyfriend (nor would he forgive them in me), yet despite all that, we both absolutely adore our little troublemaker rabbit.

No, there’s no such thing as unconditional love, except maybe when it comes to kids. I don't even forgive my dog if he’s being a jerk and shreds my new Nikes! As punishment, I don't throw him his ball. I won't even look at him. That usually keeps him on his best behavior for about a month... until the next pair of shoes shows up.🤣

Unconditional love is, for instance, the ability to care for someone until the very end, without a single selfish thought about wanting your own free time. A spouse, out of pure love for another, doesn't neglect a long-term sick partner; they care for them because they truly love who that person is. One of the core pillars of love is caring for the other person—striving for their well-being, paying attention to their feelings, nurturing them. There’s no room for selfishness just because you disagree on some minor point, or have different habits. It requires tolerance. Pride? What use is pride if love is actually present? Real love means it's mutual, steady, and balanced in all the essential ways. It happens when there's no projection, no infatuation, no chasing an ideal. It's about loving the person who actually exists. Exactly as they are. Regardless of the small things that might bother us... which, in the grand scheme of things, don't really matter anyway.

silentpilot6 said:Rebecca Scott3... you're exaggerating a bit... honestly... 😁
I didn't even finish reading your post, because seeing that much text at once just kills my motivation to read.

ha, ha, here's another one, even if I don't sing quite that well...

exactly! we don't learn how to accept reality; instead, we spend all our time spinning elaborate fantasies about it first. we dream up meeting some woman with hair straight out of a Marvel comic book, and then when we see someone even remotely similar, we convince ourselves she’s "The One." we sketch out this perfect dark-haired, dark-eyed prince in our heads, run into a cheap imitation, and decide it's the real deal. we expect our partners to fulfill our specific needs without ever considering that most of those things aren't even relevant to building a life together. people are constantly feeding us this idea that opposites attract. honestly? people stay together because they're similar. differences are just there to provide a little variety and teach us how to respect someone else's individuality.

It’s mind-boggling to me when someone gets completely crushed just because I don't share their opinion on a topic. They take it personally, like it's some kind of betrayal. It's always like: "Oh, so now you're on *their* side instead of mine!" How dramatic...

People treat love like it's a finished product. You meet someone, realize you have a lot in common, the sex is good, and they fit your ideal—or at least close enough. And then, as you actually spend time together, these shocking facts about the other person start surfacing: "I didn't think you were like this!" 🤣 But what's the point of thinking ahead when you haven't even truly met them yet?🤷

Sometimes we just don't enter relationships slowly. We don't gradually get to know the other person, so we aren't prepared to accept traits that don't fit our preconceived mental map. Because, really, love can only be built, enriched, and nurtured through time. Love is a process, not an event.

Falling in love is the event. It's that sudden, blind, passionate plunge into a relationship, mostly driven by our own desperate need for validation—to feel loved, cared for, attended to, and less alone. There's always that hope that this is the person we've been dreaming about our whole lives. And the biggest fail is when you actually believe it, only to realize you've bought a pig in a poke. A blind, ugly, moody, selfish, washed-up, greedy jerk. Then everything just goes south fast.☕

At that point, you're stuck just trying to claw your way out however you can.

I was just reading threads about mistresses and cheated wives. In the end, it always turns out that one side gets screwed because they were chasing a fantasy that didn't exist. And then you have women who turn their heads, settle for the tiny scraps they occasionally get, and act satisfied just because they managed to keep their status as a married lady. So much for "love." I honestly don't get who is loving whom or in what sense. If love is just picking up the pathetic crumbs falling off someone's table...

friendly, my dear...☕

silentpilot6 said:It seems some people are just more blind to reality than others 🙂

Not really... it's more that their value systems and core needs were shaped by different circumstances. If someone spends their formative years—back when they're still figuring out intimacy and what a partnership actually looks like—buried in romance novels instead of actually observing how real relationships function, they tend to get stuck in that romanticized bubble. Often, those "foundations" aren't even theirs; they're just patterns picked up from people nearby, magazines, or poetry where every second verse is about some grand, sweeping passion. When you're young, you don't always see past the romance to the deeper stuff. I mean, Romeo and Juliet isn't just a story about unrequited longing; it dives into much heavier social and emotional complexities. You don't really start grasping those nuances until much later, once you've lived through things beyond just a broken heart. It's especially true if there's very little talk about Love within the family, or any outward signs of affection and intimacy... if those things aren't modeled at home, a young person is left to scavenge for whatever information happens to be most accessible.

slymaker26 said:Life is hard. That is an absolute truth—one of the biggest, actually. Because once we truly confront this reality, we begin to move past it. When we finally grasp the weight of life—when we truly understand and accept its difficulty—it stops feeling so heavy. At that point, the struggle itself becomes irrelevant.

A bit of a paradox, I guess, but you're spot on.🙏

It all comes down to your perspective. If you walk around convinced everything is pitch black, you aren't going to see any light. But if you believe there's a glimmer of hope somewhere, that light will find you. There's always enough of it to make sure you don't get completely lost in the dark...

vividfalcon14 said:😂
Spare me the psychology lessons... I'll just jump off a skyscraper and blow this pathetic existence right away.🤣

Sure, but halfway down you'll probably change your mind and end up as an accidental pancake...😁

I really wouldn't want some reaper figure stepping in to cut the one thread actually keeping me tethered to this side of existence. No, no... I still have to get my kids on their feet, and there's still plenty of life left to live—wandering around, singing too loud, getting worked up, getting sweat on my brow, dealing with people's nonsense, and surviving enough headaches to last a lifetime. As long as I've got a little bit of sense left in my head, and as long as these hands and feet keep moving me along, I've still got my parents, my sister and her crew, my friends, my partner, my bike... yeah.☕

@Andrew Turner67, honestly, it’s no wonder you got wiped out. xanax stays in your system for quite a while, acting like a heavy sedative. At its core, it's a depressant; sure, it's an anxiolytic meant to dial down anxiety, but it also tanks your motor skills and psychomotor function. Then, if you decide to mix that with something like a shot of Jack Daniel’s... well, you're basically asking to hit rock bottom. You’ll be feeling absolutely trashed for at least another 24 hours after that. The golden rule is simple: never mix psychotropic meds with alcohol. It's better to focus on actually managing your symptoms rather than just knocking yourself unconscious and waking up feeling like a zombie.🤣