Susan Barnes82 said:I’m writing this while my 67-year-old dad sits there with his eyes closed, rocking back and forth in his chair. I am losing hope. For about six days now, he hasn't really known where he is; he cries like a small child, wailing and clutching at the furniture just to stay upright. Nights are the absolute worst. He takes Normabel 5 mg before bed, but it clearly isn't doing the trick. We're looking at the end of a three-year battle with inoperable liver adenocarcinoma—it's spread to his lungs, bones, and brain. When he is conscious, speaking is a struggle because his tongue is so swollen. How can I make this easier for him? Is there anything I can even do?
He needs high-quality palliative care immediately. That means getting a properly titrated dose of pain medication from a pain management clinic and starting whatever supportive therapies he needs. Call his doctor right away and demand home health services to assess his condition and set up daily nursing visits, which he is entitled to under Medicare. Don't take "no" for an answer; they are required to provide this. If they push back, report them to Medicare via their whistleblower hotline immediately. You can find those contact details on their website.
Reach out to the Hospice Friends Association. As an organization, they have palliative medical volunteer teams that provide advice and support through home visits. You can find their info on their site.
This is going to be incredibly hard on you, and please understand that he requires 24-hour care. One person simply cannot do this alone; you need at least two people working in shifts. If you aren't in a position to provide that level of intensive medical support at home, you should seriously consider inpatient hospice facilities, especially since Dad isn't fully himself right now. He is in the terminal phase, and the priority has to be ensuring he has everything he needs for whatever dignity and quality of life he has left.