153 posts shown.
Raymond Walker5 said:I think you might be missing my point entirely, don't you?
While I tend to view the concept of mortality with a bit more detachment than you do, I certainly don't dismiss the genuine suffering of those left behind by a loss.
No, rather you just haven't grasped what I was actually getting at. My point is simple: people need to accept that loved ones pass away because it's just part of the human condition. They shouldn't be blindsided by it being brought up, especially by some random stranger on the internet.
People lose someone dear to them every single day. If we all had to walk on eggshells constantly, we'd never get anything done.
Raymond Walker5 said:I don't think it's really about making death a taboo, though. To me, it feels more like a matter of basic respect for the families and friends left behind. Imagine being someone scrolling through the internet and stumbling upon a comment saying your loved one was "laid to rest" or something similar—it's harsh. I think any one of us could easily find ourselves in that position, and it's pretty clear we wouldn't want to stumble upon callous comments like that about someone who meant the world to us, regardless of how others might view them.
You’re taking death way too seriously. People pass away every single day; you just have to accept it. There’s nothing wrong with someone being a little reckless with their words regarding it.
hiddenrider66 said:Yesterday we were going down a rabbit hole discussing the situation in Ukraine, and one guy on the forum dropped this line about downed aircraft and dead pilots: "Their aviation problem is solved because the planes are grounded and the pilots are grounded too." Honestly, the cynicism just floored me. Calling dead people—actual pilots who lost their lives—just "grounded"... I found him completely repulsive. Turns out, I was the only one bothered by it. Everyone else seemed to think it was a clever little joke or some witty comeback. What do you all think? Is someone who talks like that actually "charismatic," or just a jerk?
I’d actually find them charming precisely because they can say something like that about dead people. It irritates me when people treat death like some massive social taboo, when really, it's just a standard part of life.
I’m dealing with the exact same thing. Even when I manage to get back to a "normal" routine, I’m right back where I started within a few days. If I force myself to wake up earlier, I end up feeling completely wiped out all day long. It’s a total disaster.
You can't just force sleep to happen. I'll lie there in bed, staring at the ceiling, but my brain just won't shut off. After tossing and turning for a while, I eventually give up and just wait until I’m actually exhausted before trying again.
The real headache starts whenever I have to be up early. On those mornings, I’m lucky if I get two or three hours of shut-eye, and sometimes I don't sleep at all.
To be honest, there's something almost better about being awake at night. It’s quiet, peaceful—I actually find the whole atmosphere pretty soothing. ☕
Kenneth Howard7 said:I’m not entirely sure if I’ve picked the luckiest headline possible, but I hope my explanation makes my point clear:
It has happened to me more times than I care to admit—when faced with several different paths, I deliberately pick the lesser option. It's almost as if I am terrified of the responsibility that comes with actually pursuing what I truly want.
Now, I find myself facing a similar dilemma regarding a potential career move. I am tempted to make a foolish choice just to play it safe; if I opt for the inferior path, I have a built-in excuse for my dissatisfaction. But if I actually go after my dream job, then any failure rests solely on my own shoulders.
I feel that this particular psychological trap is rarely discussed in our society, yet I see so many people struggling against social pressures that prevent them from living authentically. What are your thoughts on this? Do you believe it is right to conform to societal norms and stay within standardized life patterns, rather than doing what truly fulfills us?
I think we have to do what actually fulfills us. Life shouldn't be lived by some societal playbook or a set of cookie-cutter standards. That’s the only way to actually hit our full potential.
Don't let fear call the shots. You have to push back against it. Use it. Fear should be the fuel that drives you forward, not the anchor that keeps you stuck in place. ☕
Categorizing people as "likable" or "unlikable" based on a checklist of traits is pretty pointless.
Personally, I’m drawn to how people actually perceive the world. I don't have much patience for the relentless optimists or the constant pessimists.
That doesn't mean I'll find every realist charming—far from it. It’s just a baseline requirement.
I will say, though, that I have a soft spot for creative types and people who maintain a healthy confidence in their own abilities. People who actually believe in what they can do.
On the flip side, I can't stand those people who are constantly grinning and acting high on life, pushing some forced "positive vibes" agenda. They’re exhausting.
And honestly? You can forget all that talk about "authentic" people. In my experience, truly honest individuals are probably the most hated of the bunch. ☕
Matthew White2 said:Well... Matthew White2, I’ve been asking myself this very same question my entire life...🙂
Or rather, I’m just trying to wrap my head around why people treat those who play by the rules like they’re some kind of joke—and why it seems like the ones who give everything they have to everyone else always end up being the ones left out in the cold... It’s as if the very people constantly showing up for others are the last ones anyone thinks to show up for in return—if they ever do at all...🙄 To be honest, I don’t think I have a definitive answer to that question just yet. Or maybe I do—and if I do, it’s a pretty blunt one—life is simply unfair... and you really have to keep that in mind. You eventually get used to it, though. Believe me... 🥳
Regarding your initial post... look, if you want my honest take—it’s just not worth pretending to be someone you aren't. Trying to mold yourself just to fit in with the crowd usually leads nowhere... you end up wandering aimlessly, searching for a version of yourself that doesn't actually exist...😕 I’m speaking from experience here—because those who actually want you in their circle will accept you exactly as you are... while those who won't? Well, that’s just a tragedy in the making... I suppose I’m ready... I’m pretty sure you already know this one... but honestly, I'd take a handful of genuine, ride-or-die friends over a massive crowd of people who just don't get you any day of the week.🥳
So, look—just be yourself and stick with the people who actually value you... though, in your case, I suppose that might just mean your old elementary school crew...? 🤔 ...and just leave those idiots to their own devices... They just don't see it...You’ve still got that crew from elementary school—that core group you’ve known forever... I never really had anything like that.🙂
Best of luck...
It's because people like that just take them for granted.
stormypilot72 said:I certainly never claimed to be without friends. I maintain close ties with my childhood companions from elementary school, and throughout every social circle I have inhabited—past or present—I have consistently maintained cordial relations with everyone, right up to the very end. It does not cause me any distress that I am no longer on intimate terms with certain individuals; rather, I find myself curious as to why one specific group chooses to treat me with such distinct hostility when my conduct toward them has been identical to my conduct toward all others. To be clear, I have plenty of friends and am by no means a lonely person. 🙂
Assuming two different groups will react to you the same way just because you treat them all the same is a flawed premise.
Those two groups are different entities. Treating them identically doesn't guarantee an identical result.
urbanmoose2 said:I can't help him if I don't even know what actually works.
I tried everything—pretending to be a total party animal, joining a local CrossFit gym, trying to hang out with more low-key crowds. Nothing worked. Some might say that was just me trying too hard to fit in, but once I realized I wasn't being accepted, I just moved on. Didn't want to waste my energy chasing people who weren't interested...
It didn't work when I acted like a tough guy, it didn't work when I acted like I didn't care that I had no one to talk to, and it didn't work when I played the sympathetic listener...
Call it karma. I don't have any other explanation...
All I can tell the kid is that I hope he doesn't end up in the same spot.
First you claim you weren't trying to adapt to anyone, then you admit you were faking it the whole time?
Or are you saying you started acting a certain way only after losing all your friends by refusing to adapt?
urbanmoose2 said:The advice you gave him is exactly what I did. I never tried to fit in; I just gave people back exactly what they gave me. Now I've realized my only real friends are my mom and my PC. Not even joking...
Are you sure about that?
Since you've been through the exact same ringer, maybe there’s a better way to guide him?
urbanmoose2 said:There you go. That’s how it starts. Give it a year or two and those elementary school friendships start falling away. Then comes the drift from your high school crowd and that stretch of total isolation if you don't manage to meet anyone new. By the time you hit 23, even your closest high school bonds will be gone, and every new "friendship" you make will just last less and less time... Cheers! 😉
Just because it happened to you doesn't mean it's his destiny. Besides, we gave him some advice; if he actually follows it, he'll be fine.
Don't sweat it. Stop bending over backward just to fit in with everyone else. When the time comes that you actually need them, give them exactly what they gave you.
Make sure they know why you deserve respect.
So, when you say "neutral, vague, and noncommittal," what exactly do you mean by that?
Give me some actual examples.