Posts by redbear2

Brandon Bishop15 said:Personally, I can't stand people who swear after every other word—there seem to be way too many of them around me lately. I'm not religious or anything, but it still bugs me; I guess it just suggests they might not be the most mentally sharp if they can't string a single sentence together without dropping an F-bomb.

Also, people who talk too calmly, monotone and slow... it’s frustrating when you already know what they’re going to say before they’re even halfway through the sentence. I hate interrupting people while they speak, so that's just a nightmare.

And yeah, the ones who shout constantly? They're definitely the worst.

So, I guess I’m either swearing too much or talking like a damn robot. 🙏

I’ve always found those high-pitched, squeaky voices on women to be grating, but honestly? They bother me even more when it comes to men.

Nathan Moore6 said:Honestly, I think this is a pretty solid idea—giving more privileges to the users who actually show up and contribute regularly makes a lot of sense, though I’d probably skip over anything from the general chat threads since those usually turn into nothing but pure spam anyway.

👍

I’m a bit of an idiot myself. 👋

I’ve never been much of an open book. If anything, I’ve just gotten more guarded over the years. Someone mentioned being selective about who you let in, but honestly, I don’t bother with the vetting process. It’s not that I’m choosing; it’s just that sharing my inner self doesn't feel natural. Period.

I can hold an opinion during a debate, sure, but I always keep a certain amount of distance from it. As for my actual ideas? They stay to myself unless I’m working on a project where someone else is pulling in the exact same direction.

People have thrown labels at me before—psychopath, sociopath, cold-hearted jerk, emotionally stunted, just plain "off." But since it's coming from friends, I usually just take it as a joke.

When I’m around strangers, the feedback changes. I get called arrogant, a snob, stuck-up, or rude. It happens. A buddy once told me that I come off as incredibly cocky at first, though that impression tends to fade once people actually get to know me. Maybe there’s a grain of truth to the arrogance, but I’ll take it. The thing is, it isn't the malicious kind. It mostly surfaces when things get competitive, acting as a sort of fuel to help me win. And when I lose? Well, then everyone feels justified in mocking me.

So, there it is. A little window into my head.

John Baker said:Now I have to ask... If it’s all just an act anyway, why would anyone even bother wanting service delivered with a (fake) smile?😁

I honestly don't care if my waiter is beaming at me or looking dead serious. As long as he isn't some arrogant jerk, we're fine. I just want him to bring me what I ordered. He doesn't need to go out of his way to cater to me, and I don't owe him anything beyond being a customer. Why do some people feel this desperate need for a server to act like they matter?😕

I’m telling you, people who crave that kind of attention (even when they know the smile is just a performance) just want to be coddled. It’s so pathetic🤣 you won't know whether to laugh or cry...

Does anyone really think treating people like that leaves a good impression? In this line of work, perception is everything. You don't need to be some over-the-top, fake-smiling salesperson, but basic decency and politeness should be the baseline. It's just common sense.

It makes perfect sense to me that customers would look for that kind of interaction. When a server moves around like that, they’re essentially setting the tone, making the whole experience feel more welcoming. It builds that positive connection with the place.

That’s exactly why I said the dynamic is completely different. You have to realize that a waiter isn't actually concerned about you as a human being; their job is to look after you as a customer. That’s what the bill covers, and that’s what the customer expects in return. It seems like we’re actually on the same page here, because I’m not a fan of those servers who try way too hard to be your best friend—you know the type, where they’re constantly throwing out little jokes or comments along with a forced smile. It just feels off.

I’d much rather see someone smiling than scowling. Honestly, I don't have any particular beef with a neutral expression, though. It’s just a matter of preference.

Jerry Ramos90 said:What’s "good" to one person might be annoying to someone else. 🤷
Like what mentalny said, some people really try to be sincere. I'd call that being moderately polite.
To me, that means not acting like you're best friends with someone you barely know.
So, those people who are way too nice? They're probably just being fake, because I guess you can't really be that friendly to a total stranger.
Maybe that's why it bugs some people—that forced friendliness and closeness that feels a bit premature. 🤷

Read what’s above. It isn't about being close; it's about being polite.

It’s starting to feel like the lack of clear boundaries around what counts as being polite on this thread is becoming a real issue.

fadedrider17 said:Regarding the idea of pulling back from certain business dealings because of excessive politeness—I think I saw someone bring up waitressing or bartending as an example earlier. Let’s be clear: not every server is cut from the same cloth. You can tell immediately if someone is being genuinely kind or just putting on a fake, scripted performance. Some people actually care—they engage in real conversation or give you their honest opinion on what’s actually good on the menu and what’s a total waste of money. My buddy works at a high-end bistro in Chicago, and he has regulars who fly in from halfway across the country specifically because they demand that he be the one to serve them. They won't touch anyone else. It makes me wonder—what is it about his approach that draws them in like that?

That’s basically the line between a decent server and a great one. Let's be real, most service industry folks don't actually care about your life, but a pro wants a happy customer. In a server-customer dynamic, being polite is just part of the job description. Your friend clearly knows how to read a room.

I’ve always had a soft spot for servers who are actually friendly and smiling. It’s pretty much in the job description, right? It just makes grabbing a coffee at a local Starbucks so much more pleasant when the person behind the counter isn't acting like they're doing you a massive favor.

I can't stand people who put on this fake, polished persona the moment we meet, just because they're desperate to win me over.

My favorite kind of person is someone "normal"—someone who just acts like they couldn't care less about performing or trying to impress me. They aren't out here hunting for approval; they just exist as they are. Take them or leave them. That's it.

Fake news.

I think everything's already been said.

Lately, movies seem to lean heavily on flashy special effects just to drag people into theaters, while the actual storytelling gets shoved to the side. We're seeing endless reboots being pushed on us, too; there just isn't enough fresh, original ideas floating around anymore.

TV shows, on the other hand, tend to have much more dedicated fanbases who aren't afraid to give them higher ratings. You aren't forced to cram an entire narrative into a two-hour window; there's more breathing room for things to unfold and way more space for genuine character development.
They pull the viewer into the story more effectively, and the plots can actually be complex.

Over the last few years, TV series have really started to dominate. There’s more money flowing into the industry, and they're pulling in all the big A-list names. Essentially, the quality of television has skyrocketed, while movie standards have taken a dip.

shadowhawk18 said:That’s the whole thing. You guys find this stuff fascinating, but to me? It’s just beyond stupid. Boring. Irritating. I already told you—this is elementary school level stuff.
Quincy:

And look, you can't expect everything to go smoothly in these debates. There are always at least two people who can't see eye to eye, so they start bickering and derail the whole conversation just to hurl insults at each other. Most of the time, that's all it turns into anyway.

Insulting people is a legitimate way to communicate. It says a hell of a lot about someone. I’ve said it before: on one hand, you have people obsessing over high-society etiquette and trying to police every little insult, but on the other, they tolerate the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel, low-IQ nonsense found in a bear chat. That’s just how it is. It’s all just a reflection of the petty hypocrisy baked into society.
Quincy:

It’s the same deal with this forum. Plus, if you've actually bothered to look at MK, you’d see every single thread eventually just devolves into nothing but mindless chatting.

Thanks for the heads-up. Now I know for sure that place is a total pass for me.

Real reasons don't exist. They only live in the chat edition threads. What part of that isn't clicking?
Quincy:

Maybe, but I wouldn't go that far. Calling them all lonely or attention-seekers feels like a stretch.

I didn't say everyone, just most people. I was giving you a rough estimate—maybe around 80% or something like that. And yeah, I’m sticking to it. Loneliness is a brutal thing.
Quincy:

Look, you explained yourself, sure, but you started that whole thread by attacking people's intelligence. I’m just telling you straight: you can't make leaps like that. I'm saying this for your own good.

Hold on, I don't get why you're still obsessing over this when I already said I don't care how educated any of those four people are. You feeling sensitive or something? Got an issue with someone's degree?

I'll admit, that thread is dead. At least it felt that way a few days after I opened it.

Yeah. And there’s nothing you can do about it, right? Like, just delete the thread and warn everyone to stop chatting and actually stick to the topic? Yeah, impossible.

I actually suggested a kind of semi-chat subforum on one of the boards, where off-topic chatter wouldn't get you penalized, provided it stays mostly within the theme, etc. But they shot my idea down. Just to be clear, that suggestion was meant for threads where serious discussion isn't even happening anyway.

Interesting proposal. Also interesting that it got rejected. Personally, I think it was killed because forum traffic would drop by 50% if half the content is just mindless chatting, bragging, and typical low-brow American humor.

How chatting achieves any of that will always be a mystery to me. But hey, we're different.

Say I'm interested in the NFL subforum. That seems to be where you find the most of those chatty posts just intended to make someone look important. But why would that bother me?
Maybe it did before, but eventually, you realize what kind of crowd hangs out there and the repetitive nonsense becomes pointless. The logical move is just to hit ignore.

True, but you probably don't see that much chatting in the NFL section. Meanwhile, in the Romance or Singles subforums, threads are basically just hangouts for bored people who just want to chat.

Another thing, it's way more fun to just chat and read chat than to strain your brain with these long-winded, "serious" posts. This is primarily an entertainment forum, and only secondarily an educational one.

Is there some rulebook somewhere stating this is primarily an entertainment forum? No. Everyone interprets it differently. But showing up to a thread about the "Super Bowl" or "Marriage Life" just to spout random nonsense? That makes zero sense, even if this were the most unserious forum in the world.

Saying you can't find friendship or even love through a chat room is such a massive generalization. A chat is just another way to talk. Technology just sped things up so we don't have to rely on snail mail to reach people far away anymore.

Oh please, how exactly does chatting lead to a real friendship? You think a relationship built on mindless rambling actually works? Sure, if you say so.

Quincy:

And I'll go a step further; most regular forum users chatting online are either bored, lonely, unemployed, or just desperate for some attention and human contact—which makes sense, since we're social animals by nature.

That’s exactly my point. But chatting isn't going to fix any of those issues. They're just recycling their own emptiness and boredom, getting in the way of people who actually want to have decent discussions, and turning this whole forum into a joke.

It seems you're the one missing the point. The question wasn't about why people chat; it was about the actual reasons for logging onto this forum in the first place.

If there are legitimate reasons to visit the site, chatting is one of them because those threads exist. If there aren't, then you've just argued against yourself.
Quincy:

I didn't say everyone, just most people. I'd say it's a rough estimate, maybe around 80%. I stand by it. Loneliness is a heavy thing to deal with.

That estimate was regarding boredom.

Quincy:

Hold on, I don't get why you're obsessing over this when I already said I don't care how educated the chatters are. Are you feeling defensive? Does someone's education level bother you that much?

Sure, the American education system could be better, but I don't think that's what you were asking.

I'm sticking to it because your conclusion is nonsensical and clearly born out of frustration. Once I point out the flaw, you start making excuses, claiming education doesn't matter because they're all just nobodies to you anyway.
What is this? A debate? Feels more like an elementary school playground argument.

Quincy:

Yeah. And there's nothing to be done about it, right? Like, deleting the chat and warning people to stick to the topics instead of just rambling? Yeah, that's not happening.

Ask the moderators.
Quincy:

That's an interesting suggestion, and a pretty obvious reason why it was rejected. I suspect if they did that, traffic would drop by half, since half the content here is just chatting, banter, flirting, and that classic, terrible American humor.

We were talking about a subforum that would have actually made moderation a lot easier.

Quincy:

shadowhawk18 It’s like when you’re watching a game and everyone thinks they know the play before it even happens. Just some thoughts from the sidelines. How many more times are you going to ask me this? Especially after I’ve already given you a detailed breakdown? It feels a bit like asking for directions to a place you've already visited five times. Just listen to the answer once.

There wasn't even a question.
Quincy:

To each their own. Everyone’s got their own little way of finding joy, no matter how ridiculous it looks to everyone else.

I'm with you on that.
Quincy:

So, you think that’s one of the reasons. Honestly, what are the odds of actually getting laid by just rambling on some random internet forum? You're talking to people you don't know, have never seen, and who probably live halfway across the country. How much of a loser do you have to be to see any kind of hope in that?

I’m with you on that. One of those. There's a reason for all this. I’m convinced it can be done, though I haven't got a clue what the odds actually look like. If anyone's interested, be my guest.
Quincy:

Those aren't even real reasons to be logging onto forums. Honestly, if those are your motivations, you probably need to find a hobby or maybe go talk to a therapist.

There are plenty of reasons for it. Whether any of them are actually right or wrong? Honestly, I couldn't tell you.
Quincy:

Maybe, but that’s beside the point. What actually matters is that they all share one common thread: they’re obsessing over a specific topic for any reason other than the topic itself. It's like people fixating on a minor celebrity scandal just because they have nothing else going on. If you ask me, it's just chronic loneliness or a desperate need for attention.

Maybe, but I wouldn't go that far. Calling them all lonely or attention-seekers feels like a bit of a stretch.
Quincy:

I see the intellectual decline of certain subforums here as clearly as I see any other systemic failure. And, as I’ve pointed out before, the moderators deserve a good chunk of the credit for that.

I'm not denying anything.
Quincy:

I’ve told you before: I don't care about someone's credentials. It doesn't matter how many degrees they have hanging on their wall. If someone jumps into a discussion and all they contribute is endless rambling, mindless chatter, random interruptions, vague hints, or just a string of emojis, then in my book, they're just wasting everyone's time. Whether they hold a PhD from MIT or just finished a high school equivalency program, it makes zero difference to me.

Look, you explained your side, sure. But back in your opening post, you started making these sweeping claims about people's education levels and whatnot. I’m just telling you that you can't jump to those kinds of conclusions. Consider it a bit of friendly advice.
Quincy:

Take the "stay away boy" thread, for example. If you look at the last ten pages, maybe five or six posts actually address the topic. Everything else is just mindless chatter and emojis. But hey, as long as everyone's having a blast, right? The downside is if you actually want to contribute something meaningful, you can't. They aren't looking for a real discussion; they just want to spam smiley faces and talk nonsense.

I’ll give you that—that thread is totally burnt out. At least, that’s how it looked when I checked it a few days ago.
Quincy:

Just label those subforums "chat edition" and call it a day. Problem solved. Natural selection will take care of the rest. The people looking for shallow conversation will flock there, leaving the rest of us alone so our "serious" posts don't bother them.

I actually suggested a sort of middle ground once—threads where casual chatting is allowed as long as it doesn't drown out the main topic. It was shot down, though. To be clear, I was talking about threads that aren't strictly academic to begin with.
Quincy:

Please, don't start asking the same questions again. I feel like I've made my point clear several times already.

Anyway, I hope I'm not circling the drain here. I get what you're getting at. You sounded pretty frustrated and "aggressive" in your opening post, so I was wondering if there was more to it than just annoyance over the chatting 😬, but that was probably just your way of driving the point home.

I’m not exactly a huge fan of small talk myself, though I know some people live for it. Personally, I can't stand it when a total stranger at a bus stop or somewhere else decides to strike up a conversation; usually, my response is just letting them know I'm not interested. Sometimes people actually take offense to that. 🤷

Then you have the other crowd—people who clearly love chatting up others, even complete strangers, about absolutely nothing of importance. Why they crave that, I haven't a clue.
I don't mind offering a quick comment here and there, but once it goes beyond that, I really couldn't care less.

The beauty of it is that on a forum, you can just tune all that out. You engage with the people who actually want to talk, and everyone else just drifts along.
Sure, occasionally a thread might veer off course because people start rambling too much, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Besides, most topics end up circling back to the same point anyway.

Look, I get that this gets under your skin. I don't quite see why it bothers you so much, but hey, if it bugs you, it bugs you.

Some people do it because they have nothing better to do with their time. Others find it entertaining, some are just hoping to score a date, and others are purely there to troll and stir the pot. People wander into these spaces for all sorts of reasons; I really don't think there’s some universal psychological profile for everyone on a forum like this.

If you aren't vibing with how people act in certain sub-forums, then maybe just stay out of them, or deal with it. The whole community isn't going to reshape itself just to suit your preferences. Surely you realize that.

You're free to think the rest of these guys are losers—that's just your subjective take on their online personas—but you can't go around calling them uneducated when you have no clue what their actual credentials look like. Logically speaking, those claims just don't hold water.

shadowhawk18 said:Exactly. It just means people aren't coming to this forum for actual debate. They’re either dying of boredom or they just have this desperate need to hear themselves talk.

You constantly miss the point of what I’m saying. If this were just normal disagreement, I wouldn't even bother bringing up the whole reading thing. But it goes way beyond reasonable limits most of the time, and the moderators—bless their hearts, if they haven't missed that too—hardly ever step in. They just don't do their jobs. Period.
shadowhawk18:

I'm with you on that. You wrote a massive post there—honestly, might have said way more than you actually intended to.

Go ahead. Throw something my way if you want me to read between the lines.

So, I’m hanging around four different threads right now. Just keeping tabs. 🤷 I mess around a bit in all the subforums that aren't the main ones—you know, the less serious threads. Just killing time.

The fact that you think the stuff on those subreddits is "unserious" just proves how out of touch you actually are. Relationships, family, loneliness, sex... you really think those aren't serious topics? They’re the core of life for basically everyone else. The real issue is that people like you don't hang out there. You're too bored and clearly have nothing intelligent to contribute to the conversation.

What’s the point of making it public anyway? Just because it isn't a DM? I guess some people just aren't feeling the private message vibe.

You wanna answer me since you're such a chatterbox and a blowhard? Look, I already said it’s just like Facebook. There’s a private messaging option right there, but people just "accidentally" blast their business publicly so everyone else can see it. Like they're too good to just send a DM or something. Your argument is about as convincing as an Israeli excuse for attacking Gaza.

That guy rarely goes beyond a quick back-and-forth or a few messages. The real headache starts when a bunch of other crap piles up at once and people start dragging the thread into the gutter. If that happens, though, it’s on the moderators to fix it.

Mods are supposed to handle that stuff, theoretically. In reality? They barely lift a finger.
shadowhawk18:

Look, what you're saying could happen, sure. But I think you're being a bit too broad with those generalizations. There are probably way more reasons for cheating than just that one thing. Besides, don't half the people on these forums cheat anyway?

Forum dwellers are reading along. Chronic boredom doesn't care about gender.
shadowhawk18:

Could just be a way to prove to yourself that you're actually smarter than everyone else.

Trying to prove I’m smarter than the four idiots and rambling windbags participating in this total breakdown of human communication is like taking a penalty kick against an empty net. Honestly, it’s barely even a challenge.

How is it "not important" when you’re drawing a totally invalid conclusion?

I don't think the "lurker" thing is actually a valid excuse. Honestly, I think half these people just post because they have absolutely nothing else to say. They don't actually understand anything, they don't read anything, and they couldn't care less about any specific topic. For instance, I rarely see anyone hanging around the science, philosophy, literature, or politics subforums. To me, that says everything you need to know.

Those subforums are just "lighter," mostly people messing around and joking. Look, you even listed a few more reasons why people chat. Not everyone does it for the same reason in every situation.

They aren't "easy" topics at all. Actually, that's exactly where the catch is: these are subjects that are sensitive for 99% of people. And because you have no other way to participate in them—since they cause you too much discomfort—you try to turn them into something "light" and trivial using a collective defense mechanism. Chatting becomes this supposed meta-language meant to reflect relaxation or superiority. It's just collective repression. Nothing new. It's like a dark joke, except jokes are a brilliant narrative form you guys will never get close to.

Do you enjoy those situations—if you've ever dealt with them—where you're trying to say something important, something that actually matters to you right then, and two or three idiots keep cutting you off, throwing out infantile jokes, changing the subject, and making faces like five-year-olds? Yeah. That’s basically how these chatters and blowhards act during certain discussions.

You ask why people do it, give potential answers, try to build a psychological profile of people who hijack threads... but I don't see why you're annoyed, and I'm genuinely curious about the reason. It's not like we're on some ultra-serious professional forum where topics of immense importance are handled in order, right?

Ultra-serious? I don't know what that category even means. If you're rambling and chatting, and I know you have that itch, I'll ask the same question for the tenth time and still not expect an answer: why don't you just go to one of those threads specifically designed for that linguistic and mental venting? Go there, let it all out, clear your head, and then come back to the thread and discuss what the title is actually about. Or maybe that's too much to ask when you're hit by chronic boredom or a desperate need for attention?

Like I said, I'm not crazy about chatting, but to me, those chat threads have always felt like condoms—they kill the spontaneity.🤣

You chatters think you're being funny, interesting, spontaneous, or whatever, but you need to realize that to most people, you just seem boring. Your chats and emojis grate on the nerves of any average person because you're acting like obnoxious toddlers in a preschool.

What's even the point of a chat room? It’s not like everyone out there is a total loner or dead serious all the time. Isn't real life the same way? Someone tosses something out there, someone else rolls with it, and the whole thing just drifts off in a new direction...

I don't know how you handle people in the real world. Personally, I can't stand chatting—online or in person. It’s usually just mindless babble meant to fill up what people call "awkward silence."

Maybe that's the real game here. All this chatter, the emojis, the constant nonsense... maybe you're all just trying to drown out the awkward silence inside yourselves.

I have. Messages, complaints, comments.And then there he goes, complaining about how the mods run things.

Feel free to throw something my way if you want me to read between the lines.

It seems like you're just frustrated because everyone else keeps ignoring your "genius" posts and messing with you. Honestly, it feels like you're just defending your ego here because people won't give you the credit you think you deserve by skipping over your threads. You aren't actually looking for a discussion; you're just hunting for attention. It looks to me like a bit of an insecurity thing—coming here to lecture everyone else just to try and feel superior.

The fact that you think the topics on those subforums are trivial says more about your own lack of depth than anything else. Relationships, family, loneliness, sex—you’re calling those "unserious"? To any normal person, those are the core pillars of life. They're the things that actually shape who we are. The real issue is that people like you don't hang out in those spaces. You find them boring because you don't have much of substance to contribute.

I didn't say every single thread on those subforums was a joke, but there’s definitely some fluff in there. And just to be clear, I never said I was going to troll the whole boards—I specifically meant I'd only mess around in the less serious threads. You seem to be skimming over what I'm actually saying.

Since you’re such a chatterbox, why don't you answer me yourself? I already told you, it’s just like Facebook. There's a private messaging option right there, yet people somehow "accidentally" end up replying to each other in public comments so everyone can watch. It's like they can't be bothered to send a DM. Honestly, your argument is about as convincing as the Israeli arguments for attacking Gaza.

Maybe it’s just because the rules are so vague that people feel they can get away with using a brush. Since they can just sweep through like that, there's really no point in bothering with a PM.

What’s bothering you about Facebook now? Is it really such a big deal if people just message each other privately to comment on photos or status updates?

In theory, that’s exactly what moderators are there for, but let’s be real—in practice, they rarely actually step up.

I already told you what to do if you aren't happy with how the moderators are handling things.

Both guys and girls are lurking here. Chronic boredom doesn't care about gender.

Why single out the sexually inactive users who are hoping they'll score some action just by posting? Are the sexually inactive women here hoping they'll get laid by typing? Or are you hoping that by arguing, you'll finally get lucky?

Trying to prove I'm smarter than the trolls, the blowhards, and the rest of the participants in this communicative devolution is like shooting a penalty against an empty net. It’s hardly a challenge.

Then why exhaust yourself with them? It's obvious they're getting under your skin and driving you crazy.

I don't think it's invalid. I think many people post because they have nothing else to say. They don't understand anything specific, they don't actually read anything, they aren't interested in anything, etc. For instance, I haven't seen many users with degrees on the science, philosophy, literature, or politics subforums. To me, that's telling.

How can it be valid if you don't know the education level of the people you're calling uneducated? Honestly, who's judging whom here? 😕

Just to point out, I don't really see you hanging out in those subforums either; more like, it seems you mostly stick to the lifestyle boards. 🤷

Those aren't "easy" topics at all. Quite the opposite—that's where the real issue lies: those subjects are sensitive for 99% of people. Because you have no other way to participate in them (since they cause you too much discomfort), you try to turn them into something "easy" and trivial. You use a collective defense mechanism—chatting—as a sort of meta-language that supposedly reflects relaxation and superiority. Collective repression. Nothing new. It's similar to a joke about death, except jokes are a brilliant narrative form that you'll never quite grasp.

I meant "easier" subforums in terms of discussion. The moderation isn't as strict, people are more inclined to post there, etc.

Sure, topics like "How to win over a confused, taken guy when you aren't a bombshell yet?" or "Do women like... [redacted]?" are truly delicate. No doubt about it. It’s only natural that people will post, troll, and joke around.

There are serious topics on those subforums too, I agree. People actually discuss those most of the time; occasionally someone flies in with something irrelevant, but it's nothing major.

Why not just ignore the trolls?

shadowhawk18 said:This just goes to show the intellectual level of people hanging out in these chat rooms. I already wrote a post where I laid out—pretty clearly, if you ask me—exactly why I can't stand it when someone starts a new thread just to ask a question that’s already been answered. If you actually know how to read, the answer is right there above. Plus, one of the ladies on here spelled it out for you even better:

If you’re looking to vent, there are plenty of threads dedicated just to that. Go ahead, tear it up until tomorrow. But let's be real—nobody there even notices you. That's the thing. It only matters if someone actually sees you talking to someone else. Made me realize there’s definitely some psychological baggage behind this whole habit.
I've noticed these guys who aren't even active sexually—total losers, honestly. They actually believe they can just charm some woman on a forum through a chat box and somehow turn that into actual sex. It’s pathetic.

It doesn't always have to be this heavy. What’s with the constant need to argue? Seriously, what's the psychological angle there?

Look, life doesn't always have to be a joke, but sometimes it really needs to be. I already asked this—why are people starting all these random threads when we actually have specific sections meant for certain topics?
The psychological root of wanting to debate? It's simple. You want to dig deeper. You want to see how other people’s brains work and test your own takes against theirs on stuff that actually matters—whether it's your own life or someone else's. But look, if your intellectual peak is just scrolling through Facebook all day, you aren't going to get it. Honestly, you probably don't even realize the need exists.

I think you’re just being biased. Since when does someone's level of education have anything to do with how much they clog up the road? It doesn't.

Look, I can't say for sure. It’s just my take. Not that it even matters.

Maybe you just want to look smarter than you actually are, so you start this thread looking for some validation to prove it. 🤷

Look, if there’s a thread about car exhausts, let’s talk about exhausts. If it’s about landscaping, stick to landscaping. If it’s about picking up girls, then pick up girls. Most of you don't get that. You either have nothing worth saying so you just ramble and spam, or you're just bored and desperate for attention. And the moderators? They basically let it happen. Let's be real—the mods aren't exactly geniuses themselves. Honestly, half the time they're right there in the trenches spamming along with everyone else. I'm talking specifically about the "Lonely Heart" and "Love, Erotica, Sex" subforums. On the other boards, spam isn't even tolerated.

Fine, then answer a simple question for me: why do people spam 90% of the threads when there are specific topics created exactly so they can dump their "jokes" and "casual banter" there?

Funny how nobody has answered that yet.

Ten days ago you were complaining to me about being too wordy, and now you're writing this massive post.

Wrong. I was calling you out for opening weird, pointless threads.

It seems like you're just incredibly bored right now or something, so here we are.

Everyone is trying so hard to discredit me and play down my points, even though you all know I'm telling the truth about why the spam happens.
Personally, I'm never bored, which is more than I can say for 80% of the people on this forum.

And honestly, I think most spam is pretty positive since it leads to great ideas.

It's almost ridiculous to even address this nonsense, but fine: give me one single example of that...

To me, it's an opportunity for expression that can lead to making new connections that actually matter later in life.

There are dedicated threads for that. Go ahead, chatter away, babble, ramble, and meet people until the day you die.

Yeah, but what I still can't wrap my head around is how the mods let that slide while handing out warnings for the tiniest little insult or some other nonsense. That's exactly what kills the quality of these subforums.

I actually feel the exact opposite. I’m not exactly a fan of people wandering off-topic during serious discussions either, but I don’t lose my mind over it. People are going to talk. As long as things stay within reasonable bounds, it’s fine. If they start crossing the line, that’s what we have moderators for. 🤷

I agree. You put a lot into that post—maybe even more than you intended to let slip.
Quincy:

If you feel like chatting, there are plenty of threads dedicated solely to that—feel free to go wild until tomorrow. But here’s the thing: nobody actually notices you over there, right? That's the catch. The whole point is having someone witness you engaging with others. It made me realize there’s definitely some psychological subtext to this whole habit. I’ve noticed a certain type of guy out there—the ones who haven't seen action in ages—who seems to labor under this massive delusion. They actually think they can just charm their way through a chatroom, hit it off with some woman on a forum, and somehow engineer a path straight to the bedroom. It’s a pathetic strategy. Honestly, it's just bad math.

I'm currently keeping an eye on four different threads. 🤷 I tend to mess around a bit in the threads that aren't part of the main discussions—you know, the ones that are just, well, less serious.

What’s the point of making sure everyone sees it? Is it just because it isn't being sent via direct message? Maybe some people just aren't interested in hitting up the inbox. Most of this chatter rarely moves past a quick exchange of a few words or messages. The real headache starts when a bunch of miscellaneous nonsense piles up all at once and drags the whole topic off course. But honestly, if things go sideways like that, that's on the moderators to fix.

It’s possible that what you’re talking about could happen, but I think you’re overgeneralizing a bit. There are probably more reasons for people to cheat than just that one thing. Besides, don't the women on these forums cheat too?
Quincy:

Life doesn't always have to be heavy, but sometimes it really needs to be. I was just thinking—why bother starting these random, off-topic threads when we already have dedicated sections specifically designed for that kind of chatter? The psychological drive behind wanting to debate usually boils down to a few things: a hunger for deeper knowledge, a curiosity about how other people process the world, or just a need to weigh different perspectives on life’s little dramas. It's about testing ideas against reality. But if your intellectual ceiling is basically just skimming the headlines, you aren't going to get that. Honestly, you won't even realize the need exists.

It can also just be a way to prove to yourself that you’re actually sharper than everyone else in the room.
Quincy:

I can't say for sure. That’s just my take on it, anyway. Not that it really matters.

How is it "not important" when you’re drawing a completely broken conclusion?
Quincy:

I want the exhaust thread to be about exhausts. I want the gardening thread to be about gardening. And I want the dating threads to stay focused on dating. Most of you don't seem to get that, or maybe you just don't care. Either you have nothing useful to contribute and just end up rambling and spamming, or you're just bored and looking for attention. Usually, the mods let it slide. Let’s be honest—the moderators aren't exactly geniuses here either; half the time, they're right there in the trenches spamming along with everyone else. To be clear, I’m talking specifically about the "Lone Heart" and "Romance & Intimacy" subforums. On most other boards, this kind of clutter isn't even tolerated.

Those are lighter subforums, mostly. People are just messing around. You actually pointed out a few more reasons why people spam. It's not like everyone is scrolling through these boards for the exact same reason.

Why does it get under your skin so much?

On lighter topics, you usually see way more casual chatting, whereas the heavy stuff mostly turns into debates.

Everything doesn't need to be a deep philosophical inquiry. What's with this constant urge to argue? What's the psychological driver behind that?

From what I can gather, the urge to just chat is inversely proportional to intelligence. Basically, the less educated someone is—the "lighter" their mind—the more they tend to linger in small talk and start trivial threads.

I think your logic is a bit flawed there. How exactly can you measure someone's education level just by looking at how much they chat online?

Maybe you're just trying to frame yourself as the smartest person in the room, opening threads like this just to hunt for validation that you actually are. 🤷

Eric Gray2 said:Alright, so have you two finally admitted that you just can't stand each other? 🙂 Can we move past the petty drama now and actually get back to the topic at hand? 🥳

Sure thing. 😉

You could have also pointed out that he deserved a penalty for being disrespectful. ☕

Raymond Walker5 said:There is a massive difference between making a dark joke among your close friends and posting public comments the very next day after someone loses their life—especially when you know the victim's family and friends are scrolling through those same threads. First off, having basic empathy and human decency is everything in a situation like that. You have absolutely no idea what those families are going through right now. They are dealing with an unimaginable loss, and the last thing they need is some small-minded person online making light of their loved one's passing. It’s just unnecessary.

So, let me get this straight. Imagine a semi-truck accidentally runs over a car, and inside that car was a woman—someone who was a wife, a daughter, and a mother to her kids. And then you just sit there and type, "Well, at least there were pancakes in there." Then, someone who actually lost that person—someone for whom she was their entire world—reads your comment, and you honestly expect them to just take that as a normal thing to say? Are you seriously okay with that?

Just because you have the legal right to be an absolute moron doesn't mean you actually should.
You know, there’s that one corner of the internet—one of those dark, gritty sites where they host photos of people who’ve been killed in car wrecks or other terrible accidents, along with footage of some truly gruesome crashes. It’s heavy stuff. But what really gets to me is the comment section underneath those images of mutilated bodies. People leave these absolutely vile, disgusting comments... honestly, just mocking the victims and being incredibly disrespectful. It's pretty unsettling.
Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean it's actually right.

It isn’t really about the rights of the deceased here—they don't have much to worry about at this point anyway. It's truly about those left behind, the people for whom those departed actually meant something.

Well, I guess I just lack basic empathy and decency then.

Calling someone an idiot? You realize how insulting that sounds? Where's the empathy? How do you think someone feels being called an idiot, or even just anyone else reading your post and seeing themselves reflected in that attitude?

So, let me get this straight. A semi-truck rolls over a car carrying a woman who was a wife, a daughter, and a mother, and you think it's fine to comment something like "at least there were pancakes in there"? And then someone for whom she meant everything reads that, and we're supposed to act like that's perfectly normal behavior? You're really okay with that?

Honestly, I'd prefer the one involving those grounded pilots.

Just because it's legally permissible to be a complete moron doesn't mean you actually should be. It reminds me of those websites where people post photos of accident victims or footage of horrific crashes, and underneath images of mangled bodies, people leave these disgusting comments or try to make jokes.
Even if it's legal to do that, it doesn't make it right.

I agree.

This isn't about the rights of the deceased—they don't care anymore. It's about the people left behind who actually cared about them.

I get that. But I think a family would be much more hurt by someone trying to smear the reputation of their late loved one than by some shitty internet joke that's more about the situation itself than the person.

Raymond Walker5 said:If you think it's perfectly fine to joke around like that online, then why wouldn't you just say it to their face? Go ahead, tell them it's totally acceptable to joke that way. What’s the hold-up? It seems to me you actually know deep down that saying those things to someone's face isn't right—which is why you wait until you're behind a screen. Real classy move there.

That’s not really the point. In person, I can read the room. I know how people react to certain comments, so when I'm around people who tend to blow up over everything, I just don't say anything that might trigger a scene.

If someone were spreading lies about a deceased person just to smear their reputation without any basis in reality, then yeah, that's wrong. But I don't see the issue with a dark joke that doesn't actually drag down the memory of the person who passed. 🤷

The whole thing just feels like a bunch of fake morality to me.

Don't put words in my mouth. I never said it was okay to mock someone or laugh in their face, just that people shouldn't be acting out over the internet. Get lost. I'm not interested in going back and forth with people who aren't making any sense.