Posts by Jason Reyes9

I’m honestly all for banning the word "trolling" and slapping people with a strike if it's just being thrown around by low-level internet bullies.
Why though? This term has gotten so out of hand among the bottom-feeders online that you see it everywhere. "Are you trolling me?" "Don't troll." "I think you're trolling," "You're such a troll," and so on. It's constant.
First off, people use this word when they clearly haven't actually read the text they're trying to quote. Then, you have those who don't want to use actual arguments, so they resort to cheap shots to ruin someone's reputation. That just kills the discussion because suddenly everyone is questioning if a post is "just trolling." Then, it catches the eye of the moderators, who descend on the situation like a pack of hungry wolves. And finally, once someone labels a post as trolling, the whole thread turns into a joke, destroying the entire point of the topic and causing it to die out almost immediately.
So, where do you guys stand? Are you with me, against it, or somewhere in between?

"Everything will be fine" is one of those phrases people throw out to end a conversation, but honestly? It’s just a total lack of empathy and zero interest in actually understanding the depth of what someone is going through.
And let me tell you, hearing that can really sting.

There are so many much better ways to show you care. Why not ask something meaningful instead? Like, "How is your mom doing?" or "What are the doctors saying?" or simply, "How are *you* holding up?" Even a simple "Is there anything I can do to help?" goes a long way.

Sometimes, honestly, just sitting in silence is way more supportive than some stranger offering a shallow, unhelpful conclusion.

Brenda Patel35 said:I’m dealing with something very similar... I used to have a cat who was quite sick. We tried everything to help him, but eventually, we had to make the difficult decision to put him down after treatment failed. 😢 About six months later, I decided to adopt a tiny puppy.
Because my cat had been so ill, I developed this habit of hovering over him constantly. Every single day, I was checking his fur for ticks, monitoring exactly how much he ate, watching his energy levels, and obsessing over his behavior. Most pet owners care deeply about their animals, obviously, but I think mine was driven by a constant sense of anxiety.
Now, I find myself doing the exact same thing with this little pup. Yesterday, she sneezed two or three times, and I immediately panicked thinking she might be coming down with a cold. I ended up wrapping her in a blanket and fussing over her just to be safe.
The truth is, that fear hasn't left me. I am perpetually terrified that she might get sick. 🙂
Don't get me wrong—caring for your pets is important and necessary. But in this case, I sometimes worry that my anxiety is getting the better of me, and I'm scared I won't be able to tell the difference between a minor hiccup and a real medical emergency. 😢

😢

A car ran over my kitten. 🙂
I can't believe it. After all these years, I finally work up the courage to bring an animal into my life, and this is what happens?

Edward Murphy4 said:I’ve been noticing this pattern for a while now—this weird phenomenon where tons of people (especially the young and clueless🤷) just gravitate toward total disasters. We're talking the cynical, jaded types with that "don't give a damn" attitude who stay emotionally checked out... At first, I figured it was just women chasing after those unavailable guys, but honestly, I see men doing the exact same thing. And let’s be real, 99% of the time, these people end up getting burned, and then they start whining about it. So, what’s the actual endgame here? Are they really hoping that their belovedpartner will undergo some massive personality transplant because of their "undying love"? Or do they actually think they'll be the one lucky enough to finally see a soft side? Or what?🤷

I remember reading somewhere a long time ago that it works like this: women who felt unloved or rejected by their fathers tend to seek out that same "unavailable" type in later relationships. They fight with everything they've got to win them over, just to prove to themselves that they can finally succeed...
And honestly, it goes exactly the same way for men.

😱 You’re actually scaring me! How on earth could you have known that?😱

Reading your post just triggered this old daydream of mine
that I never actually followed through on. I’ve always wanted to get one of those iron birdcages,
maybe put a plant inside—ideally a huge cactus that's practically indestructible
and needs zero maintenance. Imagine opening the cage door,
only to find a little plastic or clay bird perched on top, wings spread out
like it's just about to take flight. Just one white bird, sitting right there in my living
room as a decoration.

Actually, looking back, it all clicks now. My obsession with freedom wasn't really about being free; it was about escaping responsibility. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. Everyone expected so much from me, and deep down, I knew I couldn't meet those expectations. I was constantly forced into this role of caretaker, looking after everyone else instead of having someone look after me.
Animals and plants depend on you, right? Well, I just don't want that kind of pressure anymore.

🙂 Who would have thought miracles actually happen?😁

brightcyclist2 said:I used to have this little blue parakeet living in a cage. She was incredibly lively and loud 😍, basically the mascot of our household. There wasn't a single conversation happening in our house where someone didn't try to chime in with her. Of course, she’d respond with those signature shrieks, though she only deigned to answer whoever she felt like. She was spirited, stubborn, and a total troublemaker. After a while, I decided the cage was getting too small. I figured I'd upgrade her to something much larger and more comfortable, complete with extras like a little swing. I moved her into the new setup, but she was visibly agitated; clearly, she wasn't a fan of the change. But hey, I thought I knew better than a bird, right? She went wild in the new cage, screeching and leaving feathers everywhere. I ignored the tantrum. Then, about an hour later, she just slumped to the bottom of the cage and stopped moving. It didn't take long to realize she was gone. Someone suggested she probably had a heart attack from the sudden shock of the new environment. Needless to say, I buried her in my backyard, through plenty of tears. And honestly? Not once did I stop to wonder if I was crazy for burying a bird. I know I'm not. It was the least she deserved. I've buried a few cats and dogs before, too. After that last burial, I made a solemn vow that there would be no more pets in this house. Until the next one. 🙂

You can't just buy a bird and leave it sitting in a cage... did you let it fly around the house? For example, I used to have parrots, and they’d spend all day perched on my shoulder. You’d pet them on the head, talk to them, or take them out onto the balcony.
Sometimes, when they got startled, they would actually call out my name. It was so sweet, especially at night while I was sleeping... I'd almost jump out of my skin when I'd hear someone calling me in my sleep! 😍
When mine passed away, I missed them for a long, long time, but now I just don't have the energy for all that grieving anymore.

Jamie Richardson said:It comes down to low self-esteem. Taking care of plants and pets isn't some Herculean feat; it's a basic responsibility that people all over the country handle without breaking a sweat. If I feel like this is somehow beyond me, it just means I have an incredibly low opinion of my own competence. It's a lack of confidence, plain and simple.

My plants never seem to take root in the soil, so that scares me off, and besides,
nothing is ever left over from my lunch, so I can't feed or look after animals. 🙄
Is there any other option in the game besides self-esteem? ☕

driftinggull21 said:@Jason Reyes9
Could you provide some background on yourself so we can get to know you better?

It all came to a head when I realized that flower was thriving simply because it was healthy; all it needed was a larger pot. The fear of watching it eventually wither forced my hand—I decided to end the agony early by simply uprooting it and throwing it away.

How would you describe your approach to relationships? Are you prone to fear, do you take risks, or do you play it safe? Please elaborate and draw some parallels if possible.

When it comes to others, I’m pretty guarded. I make sure nobody gets too close to my inner circle. I build relationships with everyone, sure, but if someone were to pass away, hurt me, or just drift away tomorrow, it wouldn't crush me. Why? Because I’ve come to realize—with absolute certainty—that "eternal, all-consuming love" is mostly a myth. It doesn't exist between parents and children, siblings, partners, or friends.
I tend to have really high expectations because I have so much to give, and honestly, that usually just ends in disappointment.

I am a devout believer, though. I have experienced that unconditional love between Bog and humanity—a love that truly knows no bounds. Compared to that divine connection, any other kind of love is, unfortunately, very limited by the flaws of being human.

Joseph King6 said:My mother actually talks to her plants—honestly, I’m convinced it works, because they grow like crazy while she’s out there whispering, "just keep growing, my little sunshine"... 🤣 I brought her this tiny little sprout back in 2006, and at this point, the thing is absolutely massive—it practically takes up half the living room... 😬

Don't laugh, though—it actually works! 😁
My mom has a huge collection of flowers. Back in the day, whenever we went away for summer vacation, we’d leave our house keys with the neighbors so they could stop by and water everything so it wouldn't die. And every single time, even with her regular watering schedule, the plants would... how should I put this? They wouldn't exactly dry out, but they’d just go completely limp and lifeless, right on the edge of dying. After that, Mom would just keep at it, talking to them and watering them, and eventually, they’d perk right back up and turn that beautiful, vibrant green again.

As for me, if I don't have anything particularly profound to say to my plants, I usually just give them a little affectionate pat. 😍

Matthew Chavez said:My mom deals with the exact same thing. She refuses to take on any responsibility for plants or pets herself. It’s funny because she’s amazing at looking after everyone else's stuff, but she puts up this massive wall when it comes to her own. Growing up in our apartment, there wasn't a single plant in sight, and we only had a kitten for about two months. 😢

She was attached to this sweet little kid back when she was only five or six years old. ☕

I’m really curious to hear how she explains it. I can't be the only one, right?
And I love looking after other people's things; I don't feel any of that resistance at all.

driftinggull21 said:What lies beneath this fear? Is it the weight of responsibility for a living creature entirely dependent on you, or is it simply a fear of failure?

It’s both responsibility and failure—basically, the fear of loss.
When I buy a plant, I’m fully aware that it’s alive. I know it needs my care and attention to thrive. At first, I was actually a bit nervous about whether I could get everything right from the start—did it have enough light? Was it getting enough water?
But now, it’s turned into something much deeper. Even when I’m watching TV, I find myself subconsciously glancing over to check on it, almost as if it might wither away in a matter of minutes. Whether I'm cooking, reading, or working on my computer, my eyes always drift back to them.
It all came to a head when I realized that this plant was actually thriving—it just needed a bigger pot and some basic care. Honestly, the fear of watching it slowly wither away was so much worse than just cutting my losses early. I ended up just tossing it out to avoid that agonizing slow death.
Even now, I feel a twinge of regret. Part of me wishes I’d never even brought it home, and honestly? I think I’m officially done with buying plants altogether.

I’ve had plenty of wins in my life and I consider myself a pretty resilient person, so I have to ask myself: am I losing it? Is it totally weird to be this emotionally hung up over a single houseplant?

Thanks so much! Honestly, I thought I was the only crazy one here,
but now I see there are plenty more just like us.😍

When I was a little kid, I had this pet bunny. One day, my cousins
put together this incredible feast. Once I’d finished stuffing myself on
this delicious meat and potatoes, they asked me if I actually knew what I had just eaten...
well, let's just say I never saw that bunny again.😁

I also used to have this little bird. It passed away, and I made a point to visit its grave regularly,
only to find out later that they never actually buried it—they just tossed it straight into the trash.😁

Plants are especially dear to me. I swear they love me back, too; everything near me seems to grow greener and stay so much fresher. When I talk to them, it feels like they respond in that special "plant language" that only a true, seasoned naturalist could ever understand. Is all of this totally normal? I really don't know.🤷

Here’s the deal with my dilemma: I absolutely adore animals and plants. I love anything that breathes, grows, blooms, or just moves through life. But I have this deep-seated fear. It’s specific. I worry that because animals and plants are such vulnerable, helpless creatures, I might somehow misread their needs. What if I fail them? The thought of them dying or suffering right in front of me because I didn't realize what they needed... that's my worst nightmare.😢

So, what am I actually dealing with here? How can I move past this anxiety?

My page just stretched out all over the place—anyone know how I can get it back to normal?

urbanscout50 said:That’s just not how ICU works!
Patients get whatever they need.
It's a different story if certain meds are missing because they ran out or the hospital couldn't afford them due to budget cuts. But you can bet any ICU has plenty of analgesics on hand!

I wasn't talking about the ICU; I meant the wards leading up to it. 😁
I actually ended up buying medications myself because my anesthesiologist told me the hospital didn't have what was needed, though she thought it would be a good idea if I could track it down. So, I bought it. It was expensive, sure, but I truly value her dedication. In that moment, she went way beyond her job description—she showed such incredible humanity by going above and beyond to help. You could really feel that effort.

urbanscout50 said:If they aren't awake, you mostly have to rely on watching their pulse, blood pressure, and how deep or frequent their breathing is—assuming they’re breathing on their own.
When patients are conscious, if the staff notices any signs suggesting someone is in pain, they just ask. Even if a patient can't speak, they can nod. They can blink. They can move their lips.
Plus, most people in the ICU are already on analgesics—almost always some kind of opioid alone or in a combo—or maybe a sedative, so they aren't hurting nearly as much as you might think. And when they finally leave the ICU, if they’re lucky, most of them don't remember a single thing. Total memory blackout.
In my opinion, the real issue is that patients on the regular hospital wards—those who aren't intubated, can talk, and actually tell you they’re in pain—often don't get adequate pain management and end up suffering through intense agony. Why does that happen? I think we touched on this topic here on the forum once before.
That’s exactly why those "acute pain services" exist. The whole point is to have a dedicated hospital team that rounds on the wards to ensure patients get one of their fundamental human rights: living without pain. Especially avoiding that severe, acute pain that could easily be managed.

I haven't read that specific thread, but from what I've seen, the best meds seem to be reserved for the patients with the best connections. I'll have to Google "acute pain services," because that's news to me.

As for that memory gap after being in the ICU... honestly, maybe it’s better that way. It’s wild how much stuff people end up blabbing once they finally wake up. 😁

You guys have really put my mind at ease regarding everything about the ICU. Thanks again!

urbanscout50 said:Typically, patients in those conditions are placed in Intensive Care Units where they're looked after by highly experienced, specialized teams—doctors, nurses, and techs who live and breathe critical care. These professionals monitor vital signs around the clock and are ready to jump into action the second something shifts.
Patients in the ICU are truly in the safest, most capable hands our healthcare system offers. The only real tragedy is that we're often dealing with incredibly critical cases where all the skill and expertise in the world can't change the outcome.

I couldn't agree more. From what I’ve seen in the ICU, the level of care is incredible. They go above and beyond, even helping patients with basic things like bathing or applying lotion while they're bedridden. It’s honestly impressive.

Since these patients can't speak for themselves, how does the doctor track their pain levels to know when to adjust the medication?

Scott Allen10 said:It’s pretty standard practice to give a patient some sedative—more or less depending on the case—just to help them tolerate the endotracheal tube and the overall mechanical ventilation process.

The answer here isn't exactly black and white. It’s a given that having a "tube" in your mouth is irritating and just plain uncomfortable. That’s why those medications are added beforehand. The tube can also cause sores and irritation on the oral mucosa and tongue, so when you're treating these patients, you really have to be proactive about repositioning the tube within the mouth and maintaining proper oral hygiene. To make matters worse, these patients deal with intense dry mouth. Think about it: having a tube in means you can't fully close your mouth, which inevitably leads to dryness and cracking of the oral lining and tongue to some degree. Just try keeping your mouth open for ten minutes straight. You'll see how fast everything dries out all the way back to your tonsils.
That said, some patients handle the tube without any issues at all, especially if they are conscious enough to understand what’s happening and have the reason explained to them.
Also, keep in mind that a tube shouldn't stay in the mouth for more than about ten days. Nowadays, it's common in major US hospitals to routinely perform a percutaneous tracheostomy for patients who need prolonged intubation and mechanical ventilation. A tracheal cannula is placed, ventilation continues through that, and the oral tube is removed. Good luck.

Thanks for such a thorough breakdown. The discomfort is manageable, but my main concern is making sure there isn't any significant pain involved. Since patients in this state can't speak, they can't even tell you how much it hurts.

By the way, wouldn't it be fascinating if anesthesiologists kept a running log of what patients say right when they wake up and are asked for their names?🤣
One of my friends blurted out that he was Madonna.😁

I’m not entirely sure if this belongs in this thread, but I have a question. If someone is awake and conscious, yet they're hooked up to a ventilator—meaning there's a tube down their throat—does that actually hurt? What is that experience even like for them?