Yesterday was just brutal. Things are looking really grim with Dad. We had a meeting with the oncology team, and they’re pushing for a stoma placement before we even start any actual treatment—they say it's the only way to improve his quality of life and get him strong enough to handle the therapy. Then we sat down with the surgeon, who basically told us the surgery is incredibly risky. He said he'll do everything he can next week, but we need to be prepared for anything. Honestly? We have no idea how to process this. We don't know what to do. It's all happening way too fast.
Dad is holding up okay, relatively speaking, though he's getting weaker by the day. After nine days of nothing, he actually had a bowel movement yesterday. He’s stuck with hospital food, drinking green tea and acidophilus, and he started taking some Prilosec yesterday. Mentally, he's doing alright. Every now and then, sadness hits him and he says he lies awake at night thinking about everything, but overall, he's hanging in there. His biggest concern is making sure Mom is taken care of and that we're doing okay. In a weird way, he seems ready for whatever comes next. We aren't. We're by his side most of the day. We walk the hospital halls as much as he can manage, grab coffees in the lobby, laugh, talk about sports or just total nonsense. We only bring up the illness when he wants to talk about it. He just needs to know we're fine, so we're all pretending we are...
I don't even know what else to say. I'm just hurting, and the tears won't stop... Most of you have been through this, so unfortunately, you probably know exactly how this feels.
Angela Wright said:My mom’s been stocking up on noni juice...
Thanks so much for the heads-up. We were already gearing up to go all-in on noni and aloe vera juice. From what I can tell, his doctor is going to start him on some kind of immune booster today—not sure exactly what yet, but I'll check later. Honestly, we’re still total rookies at this whole thing. We’re still struggling to make sense of all the medical jargon and stuff.
And that book, I assume it's 'Anticancer: A New Way of Life'? Can I pick that up locally here in the States, or should I just order it online right now?
Also, did I say thank you 😉 for starting this thread and for being such a huge help to us? 🙂
Alright, I figured I’d jump in here too. We got the news we were dreading yesterday—it’s adenocarcinoma. God, I hate this thing. 😁 The plan is to start with chemo first to shrink the tumor down, and then move toward surgery. We should have all the specifics by tomorrow. After the absolute wreck of a day yesterday, my dad is actually doing a bit better today. Once he finally heard the official diagnosis, he had people dropping by to see him all day long. He even headed out to Mass in the afternoon, and man, he spent the day pacing up and down three flights of stairs and walking circles around the hospital. It completely wiped him out. By tonight, he was exhausted and started telling me that the cancer must be spreading incredibly fast because he felt so weak and drained so suddenly. That’s just my dad for you—a total softie. 😁 Of course he’s exhausted; he’s been wound up tight like a spring all day. Anyway, we’ve cut off visitors for now, except for immediate family. He’s already kind of processed the diagnosis and the treatment plan; now he’s just waiting to get started. He’s scared, obviously, but he just says, "Whatever, it is what it is, let's go." I really want to give him something to help him cope with the chemo once it starts and maybe something to boost his immune system. But honestly, I’ve been reading up on it, and there’s so much conflicting stuff online about what you can and can’t take during treatment. You read one thing, then another, and it’s just a mess. Noni juice or aloe vera? Is any of that okay?
Angela Wright said:Carl Kern66, seriously, maybe hold off on the propolis until things start moving again, otherwise you’re just gonna clog everything up even more. Look, I've got a recipe for getting things moving fast—tried it on my mom, myself after a heavy meal, and even the kids. Go to a drugstore, grab some liquid glycerin and a syringe. Fill the syringe with about 1-2ml of glycerin and inject it rectally. Usually, things start moving within a few minutes. Honestly, one nurse at the hospital after my last surgery practically kissed my feet because this saved her life. 😁 Let me know how it works out. 😉
Thanks, we'll give that a shot. I'm going to call him now and tell him he needs to ask the doctor, because if he doesn't get permission, he won't even touch a sip of water. As spoiled as he is with us, he's probably the most disciplined patient the rest of the world has ever seen. 😉
The tumor is physically blocking the exit, which is why he can't go. But yeah, we'll try it regardless; it can't hurt him.
Rachel Wood27 said:Hey Carl Kern66, you seriously need to hop on the "Life Isn't All Bad" forum. Get over there!
Angela Wright said:Carl Kern66, honestly, everything Rachel Wood27 said is spot on.
Thanks!
I caught some of that "Cancer isn't a Death Sentence" documentary earlier—well, as much as my brain could actually handle before I totally checked out. Honestly? It left me feeling pretty fired up. Everything I read just hit a nerve. Once I finally get home and settle in, I’m going to get registered and hopefully get everything set up so I can actually join in.
Dad’s doing alright, I guess. The only real issue he’s dealing with right now is this brutal constipation that absolutely nothing seems to touch. Honestly, the guy has struggled with his digestion since he was a little kid—I swear, I remember him drinking Senna tea like it was water back when I was growing up. Well, things took a turn this morning. His doctor told him he’s headed into surgery next week. Because of where the tumor is sitting, they can't even use enemas anymore, so they have to go in. As much as he’s terrified of the actual procedure, he’s also kind of desperate for it to just be over. Everything else is fine, though. He isn't in pain, and mentally, he's holding up surprisingly well. He’s taking some propolis, and we’re going to talk to the doctor today about starting him on Graviola, since I’ve read everywhere that it’s great for the immune system. He’s a man of faith, so I think that's what's keeping his head above water. He gets scared and has these moments where he just crashes, but overall? He's doing better than expected. He’s always been such a worrier, though. Seriously, the man acts like a common cold is a death sentence—he'll whine and fuss like a total coward over the smallest thing. 😁 When we’re hanging out with him—which is basically most of my day—we’re laughing, talking about everything under the sun, or just venting about his illness. We end up crying at home, too. I mean, it’s not as constant as those first few days, but still. Personally, I’m holding it together okay, I'm right here by his side, but my older sister lives far away and she is absolutely losing it. We’re a tight-knit family, really close, so this hits hard. To top it all off, Mom’s been hospitalized twice in the last two months because of some stubborn hypertension that just won't quit, so yeah... life definitely isn't boring right now. 😛
The initial shock is finally wearing off, mostly. The tears are drying up, and honestly? I'm ready to go to war.
So, I’m diving into the one topic nobody actually wants to touch...
Basically, my dad (he’s 72) is dealing with peritoneal carcinoma and primary colon cancer. We’re still waiting on the biopsy results to make everything official, but the tumor markers, CT scans, colonoscopies, barium enemas—everything else they’ve thrown at him—all points to this. The current plan is surgery on the colon followed by chemo for the rest, but since we're stuck waiting on that biopsy, he hasn't even been handed over to the oncology team yet.
We know how heavy this is. We know the fight ahead of us is massive and the prognosis isn't exactly looking bright. Usually, I’m the "fixer" in the family—the one who digs, researches, and hunts down every possible option for whatever goes wrong... but right now? I feel completely useless. I’m killing myself at work all day just to stay busy, then spending my nights breaking down in tears. I can't even move. I don't even know where to start... I'm just totally paralyzed.
I kept thinking about this thread tonight, so here I am. Please, just give me some direction. Any direction. Just something to help me get moving...
Joshua Garcia3 said:Fine then, just go ahead and grab this case and that hard drive—it'll be plenty of space. Honestly, I’m running that exact same setup right now and it’s been humming along for two years straight. I use it to record stuff from my digital antenna, watch it, delete it, simple as that. Everything works perfectly fine. 🙂
I don't even know where to start with this mess. Honestly, just looking at it makes my blood boil. It’s like nobody actually thinks before they act anymore. Just pure, unadulterated chaos. I’m sitting here, trying to make sense of things, and I just want to throw my laptop out the window. Seriously. Everything is a disaster. kaže: No, no, I think we’re totally missing each other here. Look, if you already have two external hard drives sitting around, then you don't even need that enclosure I was talking about. It's simple. Just grab one of those existing drives, plug the USB cable straight into the port on your TV, and boom—you're done. That's it.
Look, I was just answering your question! My suggestion was directly related to what you asked. I really need to pick up an external hard drive—something with its own power supply, preferably around 250 to 500 GB. Just getting it done already.Look, since everything on the market right now is way bigger than the stuff you’re actually talking about, I’ve got an idea. Just grab a standalone hard drive and pair it up with a separate case and power supply. It’s a better move.
Wait, hold up. If you already have an external hard drive with its own power supply—which, by the way, you totally failed to mention in your first post—then why on earth would you even need this setup? Or am I just losing my mind here? Because the gear you currently have doesn't even have external power; it’s all running off the USB port. So, seriously... what's the point? So, I just found out that if you want to plug an external hard drive into your TV, you actually have to use its own dedicated power supply. It’s one of those stupid requirements the manufacturers slap on the box, and honestly? It’s such a massive pain in the neck. You think you’re just grabbing a drive to watch some movies, and suddenly you’re hunting for an extra outlet because the USB port alone can't handle the juice. Seriously, why make it so complicated? Just let us plug things in without turning our living room into a tangled mess of power bricks!.
Exactly. My two drives don't even have external power, and now the manufacturer is breathing down my neck demanding it. So, I'm stuck with this version of yours. What am I looking at here? Buying a whole new hard drive plus an enclosure? Great. Just great.
Joshua Garcia3 said:Wait, I’m not totally following you here. Are you saying you have two separate drives like this or just one with an enclosure (an external drive)?
It’s honestly no big deal to pop a drive into one of those enclosures. You don't even need to go digging through a toolbox looking for a screwdriver because they usually toss one right in the box with the external case. 🙂
Look, I thought it was kind of weird—like, why would I need two different cases for a single drive? 🤣 I already have two external ones with their own housings. So, basically, I just grab the stuff you mentioned, use the little screwdriver that comes with it🙂 and that’s it? Boom. Done!
Joshua Garcia3 said:I run this exact setup and it works like a charm:
- 3.5'' external enclosure
- 250.0 GB Seagate hard drive, SATA
Basically, you just pair these two up and boom—you've got an external drive with its own power supply. 🙂
I've got two 500GB externals sitting at my place right now (one Seagate, one Imation). Does that mean I can just grab this enclosure, plug everything in, and call it a day? Also, am I going to need some kind of engineering degree to put this together, or is it just a "plug and play" situation where it tells me exactly what goes where once I have the parts in my hands?😁
I’m looking to pick up an external hard drive with its own power supply, specifically just to record stuff from my TV. I did a little digging, and honestly, it seems like everything out there with an external power brick starts at 1TB or way higher. Is it even possible to find anything smaller? I don't need some massive storage beast—maybe something in the 250-500 GB range? I mostly just record things, watch them, and then wipe them anyway.
Nancy Hernandez43 said:Please accept my deepest condolences... I know it’s impossible to deal with this sudden wave of everything hitting you at once—the grief, the anger, the sheer disappointment, and then finally that weird sense of relief knowing he isn't suffering anymore. Time passes, sure, but you never really stop asking yourself, "Why so soon?" But let those memories carry you through. Think about those irreplaceable moments you shared, the fact that he existed, and that he lives on as long as you do. And when you meet again... the joy will pick up right where it left off.
brisksurfer said:My heart goes out to you! Everything you're saying... it still hits me so hard. But I keep hoping there's something better waiting for us on the other side of this world. Hang in there, okay? :*
Thank you. And yeah, these emotional outbursts? They are absolutely brutal. One minute I'm drowning in sadness, angry, or just totally let down, and the next I'm cracking up laughing thinking about all the trouble we used to get into and how much better he made my life. Then there's that relief because he's finally out of pain. My own pain will dull eventually. Time does its thing.
I'm still following along here, reading your posts. Thank you all again. 🙂
Even though this is my first time actually posting here, I’ve been lurking for about a year and a half now, and honestly, you guys have been such a huge comfort to me. @Angela Wright/">@@Angela Wright, I don't even know who you are, but I know you've walked through pure hell, and I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here for everyone who—by some massive cosmic mistake—has had a loved one ripped away, and for those still out there fighting their own Nemesis. My fighter lost his battle with MF 4 glioblastoma today at age 43. This was the man I grew up with, the one I called "my brother" my entire life. What we had went way beyond just friendship or blood. We had that perfect childhood together, and then that wild youth where we'd constantly bail each other out of trouble with our parents—or get ourselves into it! My parents see him as their own son, and my husband sees him as a brother. And today, he finally went to be with his dad, somewhere he can finally sleep and where the pain can't reach him anymore. Somewhere he can walk and run and talk and watch over us. But me? I have no clue how to lift this literal boulder sitting on my chest. I don't know how to stop the crying, how to deal with this overwhelming grief and this senseless, irrational anger, or how to even wrap my head around what the hell actually happened?! Anyway, I just needed to get that out of my system. 😢
I’ve been wearing prescription sunglasses for years now, and let me tell you, my track record with frames is a total disaster. I’ve smashed one, had a kid sit on another, lost a pair entirely, and most recently? A complete screw-up by the hacks at LensCrafters. This was the first time I actually dropped serious cash on a high-end frame, only for those incompetent idiots to warp the frame and mess up my cylinder measurements. It was a straight-up catastrophe. They wouldn't even admit they screwed up—except for the cylinder issue—and they refused to give me my money back. My prescription is -2.75 with a slight cylinder. This whole ordeal ended up costing me a fortune $0.83. Each lens was roughly $167 and the frame alone was $1,500. Total waste . Now I have to start the whole process over because these pathetic, botched glasses have already started falling apart on me within a year; they practically slide off my face every time I turn my head. I need a decent optician in San Francisco or maybe near San Jose who actually knows what they're doing and can fix this right. Does anyone have a recommendation?
Every single spring up until this year, I felt like I was literally dying. Don't get me wrong, I love the season—I love seeing everything bloom—but it used to drive me absolutely insane. My blood pressure would tank, my heart rate would be bottoming out, and I just felt totally useless. Like, I wanted to do everything, but my body wouldn't let me. But this year? It’s been a total game-changer. Okay, maybe calling it a "miracle" is an exaggeration, but for the first time ever, I am actually *enjoying* spring. I’ve dropped 26 pounds and I feel like a brand-new person. I’m falling in love every ten minutes (with my husband, obviously, though after 13 years of marriage, that's saying something!), everything smells amazing, and I'm just bursting with energy. I’m taking my Centrum every single day, because honestly, who knows if we'll ever get another spring quite like this one!
This happens to me every once in a while. Look, I’m a total foodie—I live for a good ribeye steak or some high-end artisanal sausages just as much as I love a hearty bowl of chili. Usually, just thinking about food gets me hyped, and when a plate actually hits the table, my whole body kind of tingles. But then? Then there are these stretches where I eat strictly because I have to. It’s rare, but it happens. I don't crave anything. You could put a five-star gourmet spread right in front of my face and I wouldn't give it a second thought. And honestly? I’m not even worried about it. If anything, I welcome these phases with open arms because, let's be real, until recently, I was basically a walking keg 😍 (that damn Weight Watchers program turned me into a total tank ).
Look, I’ve been a pioneer in harm reduction here in the States for five years now. Working with everyone from the hardcore addicts to those just starting to spiral, I’ve seen it all—and frankly, lately, I’ve had to read through a whole lot of absolute garbage online.
Listen, kid (and trust me, I’m twenty years older than you), my first piece of advice is: DON'T! And since you’re seventeen and probably think you’ve already experienced everything life has to offer, I obviously can't count on your judgment. So, here’s my second tip—just Google "harm reduction," because I have a pretty good feeling you aren't going to listen to my first one anyway.