gentlefalcon said:Why do you say: thank God I don't live with my grandma? 😁 I'd love to see you try living with a fanatic in your own family. You act exactly like I do; it's just that nobody calls you out on it. I'd happily spend my Sundays at home quietly praying and watching Formula 1. You have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a mother who is a fanatic believer and can't wrap her head around the fact that her son won't step foot in a church.
When I was a kid, I was constantly asking my mom, "Mom, how much longer do we have to be here?" and nothing worked. 😂 Do you really think I'm some pushover who just takes whatever my mother throws at me? I'm actually looking forward to this upcoming Easter and my latest attempts at redeeming my sinful soul. ☕
And after Easter, I'll probably be quiet again: "Nobody is forcing you." And then I'll be labeled a fanatic for my lack of faith. 👍
Take my refusal to be a godmother at a First Communion, for example. In our circles, godparents are almost always chosen from well-to-do families, so accepting would basically mean a lifetime of buying expensive gifts for some quasi-religious person.🤣
Honestly, the whole idea of marriage isn't even appealing to me anymore. My mom is basically waiting for me to settle down with some "practical" devout woman, but let's be real—those types are usually boring and, frankly, not much to look at. It’s like trying to find a decent meal in a desert 🙄
If I went that route, I'd just be circling back to the exact same headache. If I marry someone who isn't Catholic, my family loses it; but if I marry someone who shares my actual views, then I'm still facing an uphill battle.
Take my parents, for example. They see people showing up at church processions who haven't stepped foot in a sanctuary since the nineties, suddenly acting all pious. And then they turn that judgment on me: "You're going to follow suit; you'll be crawling through those church doors soon enough." 😁
So, I tell them straight: "Look, I've already been part of the Church, and quite frankly, I don't care for the crowd there. Most of them have questionable backgrounds—people living double lives, pretending to be one thing publicly while hiding their real lives under different addresses."
My mom, for instance, thinks self-flagellation is perfectly normal behavior. She actually believes scientists have uncovered actual nails from the cross of Jesus from two millennia ago.
There's a reason I say this about my grandma xD
I adore my grandma, and that's specifically because I don't live with her 😁 ... when I see my cousins who do live with her and how they treat her—acting all saintly, going to mass, pretending they aren't swearing their heads off—they are the complete opposite of me. At least I'm polite to her and don't act the way they do, but they act "good" and "sweet," whereas if I acted half as bad as they do, I'd be grounded instantly... just because of who I am. I can say my grandma is a religious fanatic. She once told me she'd be happy if my boyfriend was a believer xD I couldn't stop laughing. She asks me about him again, and I just talk to my cousin (who is also a fanatic) about how his boyfriend is ten years older... (I really wonder if they've already hooked up or if they're waiting for marriage XD, I'm such a jerk...). I told her to invite him over so he could meet us, and she hasn't asked again..
See, we clearly aren't the same. A few years ago, there was a mass for my grandpa. I told my mom I'd go, she woke me up in the morning, and I just felt like joking and saying I wasn't going xD Of course, it upset her, and we ended up arguing. I won't budge; I'm stubborn like a mule. She even threatened to stop doing my laundry (she knows I hate ironing), but I still didn't go to the mass. When I make up my mind, that's it. No matter what anyone tries to force on me, if I don't feel like it, I'm not doing it. I have my own views, and my family knows I'm stubborn, so they don't try to push me. And who says I don't have fanatics in my family? Maybe I'm a fanatic for vampires or something xD Either way, we agree on one thing: they don't force their stuff on me, and I don't nag them about mine. We have other things to talk about, and there's peace. No, I really don't know what you're talking about... I have plenty of friends and neighbors around me who are just like you. I can tolerate the old folks on Sundays; they go to mass and that's fine.
Look, once you realized that trick wasn't working, you should've just roasted her like I did mine XD. Though honestly, I don't even see what the big deal was—she basically said not everyone needs to know Dad did the cooking LOL
It’s obvious you're dealing with your mom and you've finally hit a breaking point. Just let it go. Unplug. I don't know how else to put this XD. Accept that she can't make peace with the fact that you aren't a believer, and eventually, she'll have to accept it too. When you fight with her like this, all she thinks is there's still hope you'll change your mind and join her side..
And how exactly are you "dying in misery" at home on Sundays if your parents are at Mass? If they aren't there, you're just home alone having some peace.. right??
We already established your mom isn't exactly sane. You talk about her like she's some high-level terrorist xD. Aren't you supposed to be a fanatic about being an unbeliever? Just pick a side already.
Regarding picking godparents for Christmas, that's how it's done everywhere, but I see it differently. I didn't choose my godmother that way, but after four years of being godparents, we don't even say hi when we pass each other (but she's a special case).. That's why I try to be a real godmother to this girl. If she needs me, I'm there. I'm not going to be like mine..