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For kids of religious fanatics

Started by gentlefalcon · · 👁 5 views · 88 replies

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gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#1 ·
I’m twenty-three years old, and I feel like I’m living under a microscope because my family is just way too intensely religious. It isn't just about their own faith, either; they have this overwhelming need to force everyone else in the house to live by their exact same rigid standards. It’s like they can't distinguish between their own personal convictions and a mandate that should apply to the entire household.
It’s pretty clear that from the moment we’re kids, there’s this systematic indoctrination through religious content baked right into the foundation of our upbringing. It isn't just an accident or a series of isolated incidents; it’s more like a built-in feature of the way we're raised in America. From the earliest stages of childhood, you see these specific religious narratives being fed to us, almost like a pre-programmed script designed to shape how we view the world before we've even developed the capacity to think critically about it. It’s a pervasive layer of influence that starts at home and follows you straight into the classroom, creating a sort of cultural feedback loop where certain beliefs are presented not as options, but as fundamental truths.

Baptism.
The whole concept of attending Mass—it’s become such a layered thing, hasn't it? It isn't just about the ritual itself or the quiet moments of reflection; it’s really about that fundamental drive to show up, to be present in that sacred space, even when life feels like a chaotic whirlwind. I often think about how people view it—some see it as a heavy obligation, almost like a chore on a Sunday morning checklist, while others find it to be the one anchor in an otherwise drifting existence. It’s a bit like how some folks insist on their morning coffee at Starbucks before they can even function; for them, it's a necessary ritual to center themselves before facing the grind of the week. But with Mass, there’s a much deeper, more spiritual weight to that consistency. Whether you're sitting there in total silence or feeling lost in the liturgy, there's something to that act of simply being present in the house of God.
It really makes you think about how we handle faith and education in this country—whether it’s through Sunday school at the local parish or those religious studies classes they offer in public schools. It’s a delicate balance, isn't it? On one hand, you have the community aspect of church-based learning, which feels much more intimate and rooted in tradition. On the other, there's the formal academic side of things within the school system, where the approach is often more structured and, frankly, can feel a bit more detached from the actual spiritual experience. It's like comparing a small-town neighborhood gathering to a massive lecture hall at a state university; both serve a purpose, but the energy and the way the information hits you are worlds apart.
The priest, the communion... honestly, it just feels like one of those moments where you realize how much things have shifted. It’s funny how certain rituals can feel so heavy one minute and then completely hollow the next, depending on how you look at it.
It feels like every single time I open this board, there’s some new post dedicated to every minor holiday on the calendar. It’s constant—just a relentless stream of celebrations for every little occasion you can think of.
I haven't stepped foot inside a church in several years now.
I’ve never been able to wrap my head around how the Catholic Church operates these days. Honestly, they just rub me the wrong way—they’re incredibly tedious, constantly overstepping their bounds, and frankly, pretty uninspiring. It feels like they’re always trying to push their agenda onto everyone else while clinging to these rigid, overly strict rules that just don't seem to fit with the modern world. It’s exhausting.
Religion classes are easily one of the most mind-numbing subjects you can be forced to sit through, and if you ask me, they have absolutely no business being part of the curriculum in any public school system across the country.
There was this stretch of my life where I found myself constantly surrounded by clergy and their constant preaching, and honestly, it just never sat right with me.
Look, I’ll be straight with you—my parents are incredibly well-off, and while I've managed to move out and live on my own, I still find myself constantly pinching pennies. It’s one of those weird, frustrating contradictions where you have this safety net sitting right there in the background, yet your actual day-to-day bank account says otherwise. You’re essentially navigating the reality of being an independent adult on a budget that doesn't quite match the privilege of your family tree.
My mother is constantly breathing down my neck about how I live my life, practically begging me to follow her strict dietary rules. She won't even let me touch meat products, and she’s turned into a total detective lately. While she was away on a business trip to Chicago, she somehow managed to dig up some old receipt showing that I went to a bakery for dessert on a day she considers a fast day, and now she won't let it go. It’s become this endless cycle of lectures about religious fasting, avoiding animal fats, and all those specific traditional dietary restrictions. It feels like I can't even grab a snack without being interrogated about my spiritual standing.
My parents are the type who never miss a Sunday service, and they’re always on schedule for every major holiday, those smaller feast days, and even the heavy liturgical seasons. They’ll head out on pilgrimages two or three times a year, too. In the beginning, they used to give me grief about not joining them, but honestly, I just don't see the logic in it. It doesn't click for me.
I’ve got some serious reservations about the sheer, unbridled materialism coming from the Church lately; honestly, if I were looking at the census data based solely on parental choice, I wouldn't be checking the Catholic box.
People keep harping on about this supposed "ancestral tradition," acting like it’s some sacred inheritance we’re all obligated to carry. Honestly? I’ve already walked away from all that. It’s just not my thing. 😁 I’m living like a Turk. 🤣
I’ve always managed to make something of myself through education, and I wouldn't call myself a troublemaker or someone who goes looking for a fight. I’m generally a pretty level-headed person, but I have zero patience for fanaticism. I can't stand the constant brainwashing or those tedious, performative manifestations that seem to pop up everywhere lately. I just prefer to hold my ground against all that noise.
Whenever the holidays roll around, everyone starts nudging me to head down to confession. They make it feel like this mandatory annual ritual, but honestly, I haven't stepped foot in a confessional in maybe four or five years now. It’s just not something that’s on my radar anymore; the whole thing just doesn't interest me.
My parents have this habit of paying for memorial masses for our departed relatives, and since there are quite a few of them, they fully expect me to show up and participate in these services. I just can't bring myself to do it; it’s something I simply don't feel a connection to. It’s like when my mom and dad celebrate their wedding anniversaries by paying for a mass to give thanks for their marriage—it's their way of honoring their history, but then Mom gets frustrated with me because I won't attend those milestones either. It feels like an obligation I can't quite square with my own beliefs.
Growing up, I absolutely loathed those weekly choir rehearsals; the repertoire was nothing but a endless parade of incredibly dull, uninspired songs that felt like a chore to get through.
It’s funny how it works—you see a kid participating in a church service, maybe helping at the altar or leading a hymn, and suddenly, to a mother, they’re instantly transformed into these little saints. They look like "better" children than I ever was, especially compared to me. It’s the same thing when you see those kids making pilgrimages to holy sites or participating in religious processions; there’s this immediate assumption that because they’re performing these outward acts of devotion, they possess some level of moral superiority or a purity that others just don't have.
It’s like their whole system of financial aid is built on some kind of moral performance review. If I were more devout, if I acted like the absolute worst kid on the block, or if I showed up to church every single Sunday, I’d probably be able to wish for whatever I wanted and get it. It’s all conditional on how well you play the part.
It feels like my entire apartment gets stripped bare every single Saturday; it’s not just one room, either—the whole living space gets completely cleared out.
My living space is absolutely cluttered with these cheap little statues and crystals, and honestly, it’s getting ridiculous. Every time I try to point out that they’re just victims of some massive influx of mass-produced junk from overseas manufacturers, I get hit with this lecture about how everything is "blessed by holy water." It’s exhausting. I actually had a bit of a mishap once—purely by accident—where I grabbed what I thought was just another bottle of water, only to realize it was one of those "holy water" bottles. I took a sip, and let me tell you, the taste was absolutely revolting. It was sitting right there next to the Gatorade and the sparkling water, so I didn't stand a chance. Instead of an apology for the confusion, they just looked at me with these patronizing smiles, telling me how lucky I was and suggesting that maybe, just maybe, this accidental drink would finally set me on the "right path" in life. Typical. 🤣
I don't bother with grace before meals, mostly because it drives my mom absolutely crazy. Honestly, though, everything seems to get under her skin lately. My dad just finds her whole religious obsession hilarious; he can't help but poke fun at her during service, especially when she’s getting all worked up over the little things. He’ll even sit there cracking up at the priest's terrible articulation.
I have to show up for this house blessing thing since I’m technically living under their roof. Honestly, the group that comes around to do these blessings every year seems to get more morbid and increasingly exhausting with every passing season.
It’s funny how things work out—I look back at my parents, and it feels like as they get older, they just become more and more hardcore fanatics about everything.
Honestly, I just can't bring myself to care about this. It all feels incredibly tedious and, frankly, pretty dull to me. I’m not exactly counting down the days until the Pope arrives, and I don't feel that same sense of excitement when people talk about those high-energy spiritual retreats led by those charismatic preachers—you know the type, like those big evangelical revival meetings you see on TV. To me, it all just feels completely hollow.
They just kept going at it until they eventually burned themselves out. But Mom would never be the one to admit that Mr. Henderson was getting tedious. Her official line was always some variation of, "I just don't have the time."
My mom keeps nagging me about why I never show up to early morning services. She’s convinced that because she sees crowds of young people with their backpacks everywhere during those early hours, I should be right there in the mix with them. Apparently, in her mind, if they're doing it, I should be too, and she can't quite wrap her head around why I'd choose to sleep in instead.
To put it bluntly, their sheer fanaticism has become a massive roadblock for me, making it nearly impossible to just go about my daily life like a normal person.
- I have zero interest in religious matters; honestly, I don't find any fulfillment there. My mother keeps making these analogies about physical nourishment—how much I enjoy eating good food—and tries to draw a parallel by claiming I’m just as starved for spiritual sustenance. 🙄 It is genuinely hard to wrap my head around how educated people in the 21st century can be this exhausting.
😁

To me, religious fanaticism is simply not fun. We just operate on different wavelengths. I am strictly secular, democratic, and frankly, religion isn't even on my radar. According to my mom, everyone eventually crawls back to the Church, but by then, it’ll be too late. She holds this conviction that people fall ill because they aren't praying, they struggle to find work because they aren't praying, they fail their exams because they aren't praying, and their marriages crumble because they aren't praying.
As if sitting in a library and grinding through six hours of studying doesn't actually mean anything. 🙂

When I pointed out that being forced to attend Catholic services feels like being trapped, she told me I should just leave home and move out. I countered that you can't really "un-subscribe" from something that functions like a cult. Her response? She said she’d call a psychologist to "cure" me since I’m clearly not thinking straight. 🙂
It’s as if their upbringing is so incredibly monotonous that life itself becomes a dull repetition, regardless of how much material wealth they might have.

How does one learn to coexist in a household like this?
The reality is that I can't fully fund my own independence yet, which means I can't just go out and buy my own place.
Furthermore, trying to convince Mom to just let me be regarding my views on religion is a lost cause. She claims that nobody is forcing me to do anything, yet every single holiday or Sunday rolls around, and she starts her campaign to convert me all over again.
She even goes to the priests during confession to talk about me, and they tell her that I’m abnormal and that something is fundamentally wrong with my mindset. 🙂 🙂

To her, my argument—"I used to be part of the Church, I didn't like that aspect, and I never want to belong to it again"—isn't nearly enough.
She constantly lectures me about the mysteries of Lourdes, about converts, and about people who were miraculously healed. To me, it has all become so tedious; there are so many of these testimonies that you start to wonder if such a massive number of healings is even statistically plausible. We are left with nothing but their word. When I suggest to Mom that maybe they are lying, she snaps back that God would never punish them for telling a lie. 🙂

There is just this incredibly stifling atmosphere in our house. I have no interest in decorating for holidays, exchanging gifts, celebrating traditions, or even marking my own birthday. I just want nothing to do with the whole spectacle of celebrations.
Nicole James Nicole James Regular
313 messages
joined Dec 2010
#2 ·
So, you’re 23, right? Tell me—are you working somewhere at the moment?
Thomas Foster5 Thomas Foster5 Member
11 messages
joined Jan 2009
#3 ·
Nicole James said:So, you’re 23, right? Tell me—are you working somewhere at the moment?

Look, I see a potential way out here too.
If you aren't in school, just find some work and move out.
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#4 ·
Nicole James said:So, you’re 23, right? Tell me—are you working somewhere at the moment?

I’m still finishing up my degree, and honestly, trying to scrape together $130,000 for a down payment on a condo feels impossible. 😁 Renting is just an endless money pit.
My point about being 23 was that I don't meet the credit requirements for a mortgage yet. It’s like everything changed; that level of fanaticism wasn't really a thing until about six years ago.
frozenraven5 frozenraven5 Member
14 messages
joined Apr 2011
#5 ·
I honestly don't get how parents even track if you actually went to confession or not? 🤔

Look, if you aren't working right now, just enroll in some undergrad program somewhere else—maybe over in Rome 😉😁—and until you can move out, just live your life and stop picking fights. Seriously, if your mom is that intense, it’s no wonder you're being just as stubborn. Their house, their rules—that's just how it works. You have a choice here. Maybe it's smarter, if moving out isn't an option yet, to just cover your own food costs, eat whatever you want when you're out, and then just eat whatever Mom makes when you're home. I'm guessing if she doesn't eat meat, she probably doesn't cook it either, so just play along. It sounds like money isn't the issue, so just grab lunch out and respect her rules while you're in her kitchen. If she were vegan, man, you'd be in even more trouble.

Your dad seems like someone who could actually be on your side, so maybe try working on that relationship. Just explain to them that you respect their way of life, but you haven't felt that "calling" yet, and leave it at that...

You can dodge Mass if you've got other things to do, and besides, if she's getting them something for their anniversary, it's not like it's such a huge deal if it makes them happy.

Everything is manageable if you just show a little tolerance 🙂
frozenraven5 frozenraven5 Member
14 messages
joined Apr 2011
#6 ·
gentlefalcon said:I’m still finishing up my degree, and honestly, trying to scrape together $130,000 for a down payment on a condo feels impossible. 😁 Renting is just an endless money pit.
My point about being 23 was that I don't meet the credit requirements for a mortgage yet. It’s like everything changed; that level of fanaticism wasn't really a thing until about six years ago.

Just transfer to a university out of state.🤷 Sure, you'll lose the luxury of having someone else cook, iron, laundry, and clean up after you... but hey, that's the price of freedom.🙂
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#7 ·
frozenraven5 said:I honestly don't get how parents even track if you actually went to confession or not? 🤔

Look, if you aren't working right now, just enroll in some undergrad program somewhere else—maybe over in Rome 😉😁—and until you can move out, just live your life and stop picking fights. Seriously, if your mom is that intense, it’s no wonder you're being just as stubborn. Their house, their rules—that's just how it works. You have a choice here. Maybe it's smarter, if moving out isn't an option yet, to just cover your own food costs, eat whatever you want when you're out, and then just eat whatever Mom makes when you're home. I'm guessing if she doesn't eat meat, she probably doesn't cook it either, so just play along. It sounds like money isn't the issue, so just grab lunch out and respect her rules while you're in her kitchen. If she were vegan, man, you'd be in even more trouble.

Your dad seems like someone who could actually be on your side, so maybe try working on that relationship. Just explain to them that you respect their way of life, but you haven't felt that "calling" yet, and leave it at that...

You can dodge Mass if you've got other things to do, and besides, if she's getting them something for their anniversary, it's not like it's such a huge deal if it makes them happy.

Everything is manageable if you just show a little tolerance 🙂

Maybe that’s just because of what the priest tells them during confession. 😉 So, my mom keeps coming at me with this whole lecture about how the priest said all faithful people have a moral obligation to spread the word about that sacred rite to their neighbors. It’s like she thinks she’s doing some kind of spiritual outreach every time we sit down for dinner. I have to tell her constantly—just leave me out of it entirely. I really don't need the updates.
You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you about the time I went to confession at a different parish across town. 🤣
What good is getting a postgraduate degree anyway? I’ll probably be out of the picture for two or three years before I find my way back here. The real question is whether anyone would actually foot the bill for my tuition, considering I have absolutely no interest in following the traditional path everyone else seems to obsess over. 😍 Their financial support is entirely dependent on how much respect I show them. It’s that simple. If I’m sitting in a pew at the local church every single Sunday, the money keeps flowing. But honestly, I have zero interest in putting on an act or pretending to be a devout believer just to keep the bank account full. Back when I was being forced to go against my will, my mother would grill me about every little detail of the service. She’d ask me what happened during the Mass, which specific letter was read, or what the Gospel was about, and she’d even demand descriptions like, "Tell me about the people reading the scriptures—what were they wearing?" Eventually, those interrogations made the whole experience so exhausting that I just couldn't stomach those forced visits anymore. 🤣

That’s exactly where the problem lies. I can't even live my own non-religious, secular life in peace because I’m stuck living under their roof. They basically dictate the reality of the household, spinning their own version of the truth and manufacturing whatever narrative suits them at any given moment.
Whenever I’m sticking to my fasting days, I can’t help but find myself spiraling into these deep, repetitive memories about how exactly they ended up buying that specific food in the first place.

Am I being too rigid? Look, if they want to spend three hundred days a year fasting, that’s their business. If they want to spend their entire lives inside a cathedral, more power to them. I really don't care what they do with their time, as long as I'm not forced to step foot in there myself. Honestly, the whole atmosphere gives me a terrible feeling, and I'd rather just stay far away from it.
My mom doesn't exactly spend her afternoons hovering over a stove cooking meat, but she’s got this uncanny, almost supernatural ability to sniff out when someone's been raiding the fridge for the good stuff. It doesn't matter if it's high-end deli meats, some artisanal prosciutto, or those premium smoked sausages we keep tucked away; she notices the second a single slice goes missing. It’s like she has a sixth sense for our charcuterie stash. 😂 I can't even face a simple piece of toast or a bowl of green salad right now. 🙄 I stay active, I’m constantly hitting the books, and I make sure to get out there and be social—basically, my life is a constant motion, and because of that, I need a serious amount of fuel to keep the engine running.

I honestly can't stand vegans. I’ve got people I know constantly nitpicking me just because I eat meat or carry products made from goat milk. They are such absolute fanatics about it.
For the last five or six years now, my dad hasn't really been an ally; he claims to be staying neutral, but let's be real, he always sides with my mom.

What kind of obligations could I possibly have on a Sunday at 6:00 PM? Absolutely none. They know my schedule inside and out.
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#8 ·
frozenraven5 said:Just transfer to a university out of state.🤷 Sure, you'll lose the luxury of having someone else cook, iron, laundry, and clean up after you... but hey, that's the price of freedom.🙂

They wouldn't dream of footing the bill for my relocation, all because I refuse to bow down to any religious dogma. It’s funny, really—if I actually showed up at a local church on Sundays like everyone else expects, they’d probably hand me the keys to a luxury condo in downtown Chicago without a second thought.🙄
Honestly, the sheer amount of time you have to spend sitting in a church pew just to stay in good standing is enough to make me nauseous. If I actually committed to following all those religious rituals, I wouldn't have to lift a finger for the rest of my life. It’s like there's this unspoken deal where if you just surrender your entire schedule to the clergy, they'll suddenly hand you a pass to live a life of total leisure. Apparently, once you check all those boxes, you finally become "suitable" or "desirable" enough to fit into their perfect little mold of a traditional American family.
dustyjackal72 dustyjackal72 Newcomer
1 message
joined Apr 2011
#9 ·
Hang in there. You also need to be a bit more patient with their beliefs; if you start attacking them, they’ll just see it as a personal assault and hit back twice as hard. Just tell them clearly that this is your choice and they need to respect it. My own mother pulls the same drama when I tell her I don't believe in God, but she doesn't try to force it on me. A little blowup here and there, then things cool down after five minutes, and we have peace until the next holiday. Honestly, any parent who prioritizes religious nonsense over their own kid is a complete idiot in my book. My mom always gets it right—we stay cool and respect each other regardless of any religious differences.

If they happen to corner you with their preaching, just tell them you weren't raised to be a liar. That effectively shuts their mouth. Don't waste too much energy trying to reason with them if they're that deep in fanaticism. For the sake of your mother, just go to church once or twice a year; it won't kill you if she's begging you. If it comes up every Sunday, just say you have work or something. As for money, if you aren't starving, there's no need to make a massive scene about everything. You're not a minor; you can get a job. Other people worked while finishing college and they turned out fine. It isn't fair, true, but that's life in general. My advice? Grow up as fast as you can.
silentcrane11 silentcrane11 Newcomer
6 messages
joined Jun 2012
#10 ·
gentlefalcon said:They wouldn't dream of footing the bill for my relocation, all because I refuse to bow down to any religious dogma. It’s funny, really—if I actually showed up at a local church on Sundays like everyone else expects, they’d probably hand me the keys to a luxury condo in downtown Chicago without a second thought.🙄
Honestly, the sheer amount of time you have to spend sitting in a church pew just to stay in good standing is enough to make me nauseous. If I actually committed to following all those religious rituals, I wouldn't have to lift a finger for the rest of my life. It’s like there's this unspoken deal where if you just surrender your entire schedule to the clergy, they'll suddenly hand you a pass to live a life of total leisure. Apparently, once you check all those boxes, you finally become "suitable" or "desirable" enough to fit into their perfect little mold of a traditional American family.

Good grief!!!
I guess you really do hate the Church if you're passing up such an easy, comfortable life—one that you could arguably secure just by showing up to Mass once in a while, at least while your parents are still around.🤣
Nicole James Nicole James Regular
313 messages
joined Dec 2010
#11 ·
gentlefalcon said:They wouldn't dream of footing the bill for my relocation, all because I refuse to bow down to any religious dogma. It’s funny, really—if I actually showed up at a local church on Sundays like everyone else expects, they’d probably hand me the keys to a luxury condo in downtown Chicago without a second thought.🙄
Honestly, the sheer amount of time you have to spend sitting in a church pew just to stay in good standing is enough to make me nauseous. If I actually committed to following all those religious rituals, I wouldn't have to lift a finger for the rest of my life. It’s like there's this unspoken deal where if you just surrender your entire schedule to the clergy, they'll suddenly hand you a pass to live a life of total leisure. Apparently, once you check all those boxes, you finally become "suitable" or "desirable" enough to fit into their perfect little mold of a traditional American family.

So, how much longer until you wrap up your degree?
Joseph Wright4 Joseph Wright4 Member
45 messages
joined Oct 2011
#12 ·
You're bored... so you're bored again... whatever.

Look, man, putting your parents aside—who, if everything you're saying is true, clearly have no boundaries—you just come across to me like a spoiled brat.

You're bored.. so you won't do this... or that...

For God's sake, you're 23. If you're even in college, you should be graduating or pretty close to it by now. You could at least get a part-time job every now and then to make some cash (not enough for a $3,000-a-month apartment 🙄, but hey—welcome to the real world). There are people looking for roommates where you wouldn't pay more than $1,200 a month.

The fact that you aren't doing any of this because you can't be bothered, and because you're probably used to being taken care of and would rather listen to your parents nag you than actually take care of yourself... well, that's a whole other issue. Either way—this whining isn't going to help you, though I guess it's easier than actually doing something about it.
frozenraven5 frozenraven5 Member
14 messages
joined Apr 2011
#13 ·
gentlefalcon said:Maybe that’s just because of what the priest tells them during confession. 😉 So, my mom keeps coming at me with this whole lecture about how the priest said all faithful people have a moral obligation to spread the word about that sacred rite to their neighbors. It’s like she thinks she’s doing some kind of spiritual outreach every time we sit down for dinner. I have to tell her constantly—just leave me out of it entirely. I really don't need the updates.
You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you about the time I went to confession at a different parish across town. 🤣
What good is getting a postgraduate degree anyway? I’ll probably be out of the picture for two or three years before I find my way back here. The real question is whether anyone would actually foot the bill for my tuition, considering I have absolutely no interest in following the traditional path everyone else seems to obsess over. 😍 Their financial support is entirely dependent on how much respect I show them. It’s that simple. If I’m sitting in a pew at the local church every single Sunday, the money keeps flowing. But honestly, I have zero interest in putting on an act or pretending to be a devout believer just to keep the bank account full. Back when I was being forced to go against my will, my mother would grill me about every little detail of the service. She’d ask me what happened during the Mass, which specific letter was read, or what the Gospel was about, and she’d even demand descriptions like, "Tell me about the people reading the scriptures—what were they wearing?" Eventually, those interrogations made the whole experience so exhausting that I just couldn't stomach those forced visits anymore. 🤣

That’s exactly where the problem lies. I can't even live my own non-religious, secular life in peace because I’m stuck living under their roof. They basically dictate the reality of the household, spinning their own version of the truth and manufacturing whatever narrative suits them at any given moment.
Whenever I’m sticking to my fasting days, I can’t help but find myself spiraling into these deep, repetitive memories about how exactly they ended up buying that specific food in the first place.

Am I being too rigid? Look, if they want to spend three hundred days a year fasting, that’s their business. If they want to spend their entire lives inside a cathedral, more power to them. I really don't care what they do with their time, as long as I'm not forced to step foot in there myself. Honestly, the whole atmosphere gives me a terrible feeling, and I'd rather just stay far away from it.
My mom doesn't exactly spend her afternoons hovering over a stove cooking meat, but she’s got this uncanny, almost supernatural ability to sniff out when someone's been raiding the fridge for the good stuff. It doesn't matter if it's high-end deli meats, some artisanal prosciutto, or those premium smoked sausages we keep tucked away; she notices the second a single slice goes missing. It’s like she has a sixth sense for our charcuterie stash. 😂 I can't even face a simple piece of toast or a bowl of green salad right now. 🙄 I stay active, I’m constantly hitting the books, and I make sure to get out there and be social—basically, my life is a constant motion, and because of that, I need a serious amount of fuel to keep the engine running.

I honestly can't stand vegans. I’ve got people I know constantly nitpicking me just because I eat meat or carry products made from goat milk. They are such absolute fanatics about it.
For the last five or six years now, my dad hasn't really been an ally; he claims to be staying neutral, but let's be real, he always sides with my mom.

What kind of obligations could I possibly have on a Sunday at 6:00 PM? Absolutely none. They know my schedule inside and out.

Look, mic, if you want to play the martyr and the rebel, then fine—be one and deal with the fallout. 🙂 Honestly, sounds like this isn't even about faith, it's more like an Oedipal complex situation. 😁

A well-chosen grad degree could actually help you land a decent job. Or are you planning on living off your parents for the next few years after finishing school?

Since you're in college, you're probably not stuck in some tiny rural town with one church and one priest. 🙂 That gives you way more options for confession and deciding where you actually belong. For example, the Franciscans are pretty chill; you could even go talk to them and ask for advice on how to handle your parents.

Look, in a pinch, just go into the confessional, say you don't believe, and walk out. 😁 If you really have no other choice.
Besides, in larger churches, confessions happen every day, so you can get it done regardless of whatever schedule the local priest sets.

Are you absolutely, 100% certain they wouldn't let you transfer to a top-tier university in your area just because of religion? Are you positive that's the truth?
And Dad would really back Mom on that too? 🙂

How is he even handling this, since he claims to be neutral? If you're relying on someone else, you can't start fires on every front—you can't bite the hand that feeds you, complain, and then expect a miracle from people on a forum.

Look, diplomacy is a skill you have to actually learn, you know? It’s not just about being loud. Honestly, if you just backed off a little bit when you're pushing back, I really think Mom wouldn't feel like she has to dig her heels in so hard just to challenge you. It’s like—if you stop poking the bear, maybe the bear won't feel the need to roar back, right?

Have you even tried sitting them down for a calm, level-headed talk about how you're actually feeling? Or—let's be real—do you already know exactly how they're gonna act before you even open your mouth?

Look, vegetarianism isn't just sad little pieces of toast and a wilted side salad—seriously, you’d be shocked how many triathletes are actually vegetarians! It’s a whole thing. And honestly? If you’re sitting there whining because you aren't happy with how your food is being cooked... I mean, come on. You're 23 years old! Just go to the grocery store, buy your own ingredients, and whip up whatever the hell you want to eat. It’s not that hard!
Seriously? Mom actually thinks she noticed someone raided the deli drawer? Give me a break... like, really? Come on!

So, get this—according to the rules in the Catholic Church, they only mandate fasting for like, two days out of the whole year. And then on Fridays? They just "recommend" you skip meat. Like, seriously? It’s basically a suggestion at that point! Why even bother making a rule if it's just a "hey, if you feel like it" kind of thing? Makes zero sense, right?

Look, it really just boils down to this—do you actually want to find a way out of the mess, or are you just looking for some convenient excuse so you can sit around playing the bitter victim? Honestly, the choice is yours. You decide.

Look, I get it—I really do. I know things aren't exactly easy for you right now, but let’s be real: you’re totally digging your own grave here. You're making it worse by the minute! And man, just looking at that massive, never-ending list of grievances you've got? It just shows how incredibly bitter you've become. Seriously, how much resentment can one person even hold? 😁

Look, can we please—just for once—stop obsessing over the mess and actually start looking for a way out? Seriously! Why is everyone so obsessed with pointing fingers and dwelling on what went wrong when we could be out here actually fixing things? It’s like, hello?! We're just spinning our wheels at this point! Let's quit the whining and focus on finding a solution already!

And look, Mass isn't just some thing you're forced to sit through every Sunday at 6 PM like it’s some mandatory corporate training session—you know? Like, you should be able to go on a hike, hang out with friends, or whatever else you want to do with your life! I mean, come on, surely you can figure out how to manage your own damn time without someone breathing down your neck? It's not that hard!

Look, my two cents? Just go talk to them. Seriously. If that doesn't work, maybe hunt down some wise old priest—if you can even find one of those around here who actually knows what they're talking about—to step in and mediate. Or, better yet, just sit down and make a deal: instead of forcing yourself to go to Mass when you're feeling totally disconnected, why not spend that time doing some actual community service or helping people out? You know, like real-world good deeds while you're riding out this crisis of faith. And hey, stay humble about it, alright? Ask your mom to keep you in her prayers, and then once that spark finally hits you again, you can get back on their path. Simple as that.

If I had a 23-year-old son who actually expected me to whip up lunch just because he felt like it—especially when it’s stuff I don’t even eat myself—and then had the nerve to act all entitled? Man, if he also couldn't be bothered to show up for his parents' wedding anniversary celebration—even if that meant something ridiculous like hunting for wild turkeys or dancing around with hot dogs tied around our necks—I swear, I’d practically exorcise him right then and there! 🤣

I mean, seriously? Are we really doing this again? I feel like I’m losing my mind just sitting here watching this unfold! It’s like everyone just collectively decided to stop using their brains at the exact same time. Is that the plan now? Just total, absolute chaos? Because if so, mission accomplished, people! Honestly, I can't even—it’s just too much. One minute everything seems relatively normal, right? You think you've finally got a handle on things, and then BAM—someout else decides to throw a wrench in the whole machine just because they felt like it. Why? For what? Does anyone actually have a reason, or are we all just drifting aimlessly through this mess? It's exhausting, man. Truly. I’m sitting here, trying to make sense of it all, and I just keep hitting these massive walls of pure, unadulterated nonsense. It’s enough to make you want to just walk away from the keyboard entirely, but then again, I know I won't, because someone has to say it, right? Someone has to point out how ridiculous this whole situation has become! kaže:
They seriously wouldn't even help me out with housing costs—like, they actually refused to cover a new place for me just because I’m not exactly the "praise the Lord" type. Can you believe that? If I actually showed up at a church every Sunday like some good little citizen, they’d probably hand me the keys to a luxury condo in downtown Chicago without blinking an eye. It’s honestly ridiculous!🙄
Ugh, honestly? I’m so over it. Like, having to spend all that time sitting in church just makes me want to gag. If we actually did that every single day, I swear I wouldn't have to lift a finger for the rest of my life—which, hey, sounds like a dream, right?—but then I’d finally be "suitable" or whatever. You know, supposedly "desirable" enough to fit into one of those perfect, traditional American families everyone keeps preaching about. It’s just exhausting!

Are you actually serious right now? Are you being for real? Like, are you 100% certain about this—no cap? I mean, give it to me straight... is this the actual, honest-to-god truth, or are you just being a total drama queen about it?

Look, if you actually believe that, then you’re straight-up delusional—seriously! Like, what's the plan? You're just gonna go sit in a church pew for a year straight praying until someone hands you the keys to a condo? Is that how this works now? Give me a break! Just imagine the absolute insanity of people standing in line all day long at a Walmart or a Target just to... what, wait for a miracle? It's ridiculous! $667So, let me get this straight—you’re telling me people are out here absolutely grinding just to scrape by? Like, they're barely keeping their heads above water just to cover rent or struggle through a monthly mortgage payment, and you think they should be handed a $130,000 apartment just because they show up to church once in a while and act halfway decent toward their own family? Are you kidding me right now? Seriously, what kind of logic is that?

And hey, they've got those student masses too—honestly, you might actually dig going to one, kind of like hitting up a local theater or something if you're just looking for a change of pace, you know? Just a little something to check out here and there.

Absolutely terrifying. 😁 Where the hell am I supposed to go to sign those adoption papers?! Seriously, does anyone actually know where the office is?

Honestly, what’s even the point? Nothing beats that feeling when nobody’s breathing down your neck or trying to boss you around. You’re finally free, right? Like, you can just pack up, walk out that door, find your own place, and actually start figuring life out on your own terms—just like every other young person out there grinding to make it. Why wait for permission? You gotta go out and get it!
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#14 ·
dustyjackal72 said:Hang in there. You also need to be a bit more patient with their beliefs; if you start attacking them, they’ll just see it as a personal assault and hit back twice as hard. Just tell them clearly that this is your choice and they need to respect it. My own mother pulls the same drama when I tell her I don't believe in God, but she doesn't try to force it on me. A little blowup here and there, then things cool down after five minutes, and we have peace until the next holiday. Honestly, any parent who prioritizes religious nonsense over their own kid is a complete idiot in my book. My mom always gets it right—we stay cool and respect each other regardless of any religious differences.

If they happen to corner you with their preaching, just tell them you weren't raised to be a liar. That effectively shuts their mouth. Don't waste too much energy trying to reason with them if they're that deep in fanaticism. For the sake of your mother, just go to church once or twice a year; it won't kill you if she's begging you. If it comes up every Sunday, just say you have work or something. As for money, if you aren't starving, there's no need to make a massive scene about everything. You're not a minor; you can get a job. Other people worked while finishing college and they turned out fine. It isn't fair, true, but that's life in general. My advice? Grow up as fast as you can.


I’m not really out to attack them for leaving; if someone feels like they need to enter a convent, that's their call, and honestly, I couldn't care less. My issue is more personal. Growing up, I was pretty consistent about going to religious education classes and attending Mass, but once I finished my Confirmation, I started to drift away. I did try to make an appearance at Mass here and there after that, but it became incredibly rare. Then, around 2005, I made another genuine attempt to get back into the fold—not because I wanted to dodge some lecture or social pressure, but because I actually wanted to be there. The problem is that the Church has introduced so much new stuff lately that it feels like the goalposts are constantly moving. It’s just too much to keep up with, and frankly, I can't track it all anymore.

My decision has to align perfectly with how they live; if I don't walk the same path, there simply isn't another way out for me. If I deviate, I’ll end up in hell. 😁 It seems like I only ever see people around here during the holidays or on Sundays; the rest of the work week, the place is practically a ghost town.

It feels like we’re seeing an endless surge of these things lately—all these religious holidays, feast days, and massive pilgrimages popping up everywhere. People keep questioning me, asking why I don't just pack my bags and head out to Fatima, Lourdes, Medjugorje, or Rome myself. But they aren't getting the point. This isn't some casual vacation or a trip to Disney World; it's something else entirely. On top of that, most of these trips involve grinding it out on a bus for hours on end. It’s such a long haul, and honestly, it sounds exhausting. Most of the time, you can't even just hop on a quick flight because the whole idea is supposed to be an act of penance, forcing you to take the hard way.

When I try to explain to them that I’ve basically thrown away $300 or $400 on this trip by not going, they just give me this patronizing line about how kids in the youth group beg their parents to take them along. They even act like it’s some sort of rite of passage where kids have to grind through summer jobs just to scrape together enough cash for these pilgrimages. Look, it’s not even about the money or whether I’d be willing to work for it—I wouldn't go even if it were free. It's the whole vibe. You've got elderly folks and people in their 40s or 50s trekking around all day, hitting up different churches, hiking through mountains and hills... it sounds exhausting, and honestly, it just sounds incredibly boring to me.

Do you have any idea just how many holidays we actually deal with? It feels like there's always something on the calendar.

New Year's Day, Three Kings, funeral masses, Ash Wednesday, the Quatertimes, those Tuesdays leading up to Anthony, and then you've got the Annunciation, Easter, the whole stretch of Holy Week, the Assumption of Mary, the Feast of the Infant Jesus, Christmas Eve, Midnight Mass, Christmas itself, and St. Stephen’s. On top of all that, there are my parents' wedding anniversaries, which are always marked by a mass and a blessing for the house. Throw in four or five pilgrimages throughout the year and every single Sunday, not to mention maybe two or three charismatic retreats. Then you have the Linic gatherings that run all weekend at the local arena or the Sports Center—I can't even keep track anymore—lasting seven or eight hours at a time. Honestly, it feels like we’re drowning in it. There's just too much.

And then they have the nerve to turn it around on me and ask, "Why don't you just go to all these events like any other sane person would?" It’s incredible. They immediately label me as the outlier, the one who isn't "normal" simply because I choose not to participate. Honestly, when people start questioning your sanity just because you don't follow the crowd, it triggers this deep sense of repulsion. It's hard not to feel a certain level of disdain when the baseline for being a functional human being is dictated by how many social gatherings you can attend.

Trying to have a conversation with my mom is honestly a lost cause. It’s like talking to a brick wall because she’s already decided on her verdict: I’m not going, and there isn't a single valid excuse in the world that could change her mind. It doesn't matter how much education I have, all the life experience I've gathered, or the places I've traveled; none of that carries any weight with her. In her eyes, none of those things count for anything when it comes to this.
She’s probably just nursing some resentment. She’s spent her entire life embedded in the Church, living by those old-school traditions, and while that lifestyle might not have always sat right with her, she stuck with it nonetheless. Now, seeing someone else deviate bothers her—and honestly, I can't stand seeing people being persecuted for their choices either.

For instance, she loves to claim that I pass my exams simply because she prayed for me. But if I happen to fail one, suddenly it’s "divine retribution" because I didn't pray enough. 🤣 It’s classic cherry-picking; she only says whatever fits her narrative at the moment.

Back when we found out the Pope was coming to town, she immediately grilled me, asking why I wouldn't go when hundreds of thousands of perfectly "normal" people were heading there.
I told her straight up that I couldn't care less about the spectacle. ☕ They even traveled all the way to a smaller city in the Midwest once when the Pope visited there; there was no way in hell I was making that kind of trip, especially not on a cramped bus just because everyone advised against driving due to the total lack of parking.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to me clashing with the rest of my extended family.
The younger generation of my relatives hardly ever sets foot in church, yet the kids of our family friends? They’re in every Sunday. According to them, those kids are absolute saints—modest, polite, and perfect—even if they happen to be using drugs on the side. Apparently, that doesn't count against their reputation.
I remember seeing an old acquaintance from high school attending Mass every single week. I know plenty of bad things about him, but I don't feel the need to run to his parents and shatter their illusion of having the "perfect Catholic son." In their eyes, he’s a better person than I am. If they actually knew how he lived his life, they’d stop holding him up as some kind of moral compass.
frozenraven5 frozenraven5 Member
14 messages
joined Apr 2011
#15 ·
silentcrane11 said:Good grief!!!
I guess you really do hate the Church if you're passing up such an easy, comfortable life—one that you could arguably secure just by showing up to Mass once in a while, at least while your parents are still around.🤣

Man, he’s clearly just got zero real problems in his life. If it weren't for the Church, he'd probably be whining about people telling him he can't play video games or complaining that his mom doesn't do his laundry 300 days a year. 😁
Carl Miller11 Carl Miller11 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Apr 2011
#16 ·
Joseph Wright4 said:You're bored... so you're bored again... whatever.

Look, man, putting your parents aside—who, if everything you're saying is true, clearly have no boundaries—you just come across to me like a spoiled brat.

You're bored.. so you won't do this... or that...

For God's sake, you're 23. If you're even in college, you should be graduating or pretty close to it by now. You could at least get a part-time job every now and then to make some cash (not enough for a $3,000-a-month apartment 🙄, but hey—welcome to the real world). There are people looking for roommates where you wouldn't pay more than $1,200 a month.

The fact that you aren't doing any of this because you can't be bothered, and because you're probably used to being taken care of and would rather listen to your parents nag you than actually take care of yourself... well, that's a whole other issue. Either way—this whining isn't going to help you, though I guess it's easier than actually doing something about it.

I wanted to write something along those lines to you, but here it is! I'll sign off on this... instead of complaining, finish school, find a job, and goodbye... go build your own life.
😁(on your own terms)
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#17 ·
Joseph Wright4 said:You're bored... so you're bored again... whatever.

Look, man, putting your parents aside—who, if everything you're saying is true, clearly have no boundaries—you just come across to me like a spoiled brat.

You're bored.. so you won't do this... or that...

For God's sake, you're 23. If you're even in college, you should be graduating or pretty close to it by now. You could at least get a part-time job every now and then to make some cash (not enough for a $3,000-a-month apartment 🙄, but hey—welcome to the real world). There are people looking for roommates where you wouldn't pay more than $1,200 a month.

The fact that you aren't doing any of this because you can't be bothered, and because you're probably used to being taken care of and would rather listen to your parents nag you than actually take care of yourself... well, that's a whole other issue. Either way—this whining isn't going to help you, though I guess it's easier than actually doing something about it.

Spoiled or not, everyone should have the right to their own religious or non-religious choices. Isn't that what's written in the Declaration of Human Rights? ☕

I focus on things I love, I plan to finish my degree and get a job, hang out with friends, earn my own way, and live my life. I've already graduated; I didn't fail any years. Again, if I moved into a shared apartment, I'd be giving up a certain level of material security. And the job market isn't exactly booming right now either.

I've been listening to my parents' dictates since I was a child. Imagine what it's like growing up under the weight of tradition and intense religiosity. This didn't just start two or three years ago; it's been happening since birth, though their fanaticism really ramped up around 2005.

Back in 2005, I was 17. What could I have done back then? How could I have lived independently?

This isn't about whining; it's about the American story, about the reality of modern America. I am speaking on behalf of tens of thousands of young people.
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#18 ·
Carl Miller11 said:I wanted to write something along those lines to you, but here it is! I'll sign off on this... instead of complaining, finish school, find a job, and goodbye... go build your own life.
😁(on your own terms)

Look, I am finishing my degree, but I can't exactly push June or September deadlines back to April.🤣
It seems like you’ve completely missed the point here.🙂 😁
I was expecting some actual substance based on the depth of experience I carry myself.
Is going to Mass and practicing religion really what fascinates you?

The whole prayer meal thing just strikes me as ridiculous. I'm a practical person and I've honestly forgotten most of the prayers. Especially when they start cycling through five Ocenas, five Hail Marys, three Glory be to the Father, then intentions for the deceased, and then for people whose names you can't even recall. Apparently, doing all that on every single holiday is what makes life interesting for you.☕
Joseph Wright4 Joseph Wright4 Member
45 messages
joined Oct 2011
#19 ·
🙄

gentlefalcon said:Spoiled or not, everyone should have the right to their own religious or non-religious choices. Isn't that what's written in the Declaration of Human Rights? ☕

I focus on things I love, I plan to finish my degree and get a job, hang out with friends, earn my own way, and live my life. I've already graduated; I didn't fail any years. Again, if I moved into a shared apartment, I'd be giving up a certain level of material security. And the job market isn't exactly booming right now either.

I've been listening to my parents' dictates since I was a child. Imagine what it's like growing up under the weight of tradition and intense religiosity. This didn't just start two or three years ago; it's been happening since birth, though their fanaticism really ramped up around 2005.

Back in 2005, I was 17. What could I have done back then? How could I have lived independently?

This isn't about whining; it's about the American story, about the reality of modern America. I am speaking on behalf of tens of thousands of young people.

🤦

Get real. You sound pathetic.

You aren't 17 anymore, so that's irrelevant. Decide for yourself whether financial security or independence matters more to you... for now, it seems obvious which one you're choosing.

(it's pretty obvious those old folks would help you out financially if you really needed it... whether you move out or not... or are you trying to tell us they'd cut you off? - I highly doubt that)

(not sure if you realize that even though you claim to be 23, you're using the same rhetoric as some high schooler complaining for no reason, or maybe for a good reason..)
gentlefalcon gentlefalcon MemberOP
35 messages
joined Apr 2011
#20 ·
silentcrane11 said:Good grief!!!
I guess you really do hate the Church if you're passing up such an easy, comfortable life—one that you could arguably secure just by showing up to Mass once in a while, at least while your parents are still around.🤣

Personally, I’d have to attend every single Sunday just to satisfy this requirement. Do they honestly think I haven't lost count of how many Sundays there are in a year? Even when I did go, I was constantly accused of not paying attention or actually listening, as if my only goal was to stare at the exit and wait for my turn to leave. It’s like whenever we drive through town, passing one of the dozens of churches scattered everywhere, the immediate expectation is that we all stop and make the sign of the cross.
I grew up immersed in all that religious ritual, and frankly, that supposed "pleasant existence" started to feel incredibly suffocating.
I would much rather be an independent person than live like some hypocritical parasite. 😁
I am perfectly willing to accept having zero financial support from them if it means I don't have to perform this religious charade. This whole struggle has been playing out in my head for about seventeen years now; during those first four or five, I didn't even truly grasp what religion meant. But once I started school, I was hit with the full force of religious education, priests, and all that institutional pressure, and it has always been exhausting.

In recent years, I haven't received any gifts for Christmas or Easter, and honestly, I couldn't care less. I used to get them, but then the guilt trips would start: "We bought this for you, we gave you that, so you should be going to church like all the other well-behaved kids."
Just try to imagine how draining it is to go to confession. You show up and find yourself standing in a line of maybe a hundred people, trying to squeeze in, only to have elderly ladies shouting at you for being impatient. Then, after enduring a grueling confession filled with nonsensical questions about whether I've looked at "improper magazines" or indulged in worldly pleasures, I still have to sit through the service and wait for communion. And then comes the lecture from my mother about how much better I should feel now that I've confessed, and how desperately I need "spiritual nourishment." 🙂

And yet, the refrain is always: "You're free to do whatever you want; nobody is forcing you to go to church." But then the pattern repeats every single Sunday and every holiday. My mother sees someone my age and immediately draws a comparison, acting as if they are pure and saintly while I am nothing but a sinner.

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