Posts by Hannah White2

Amanda Kern2 said:Yeah, if you let them have that kind of influence.
Spoiled kids run their parents; it’s all because of the patterns they picked up. Spoiled kids are essentially bribed kids. They get handed "stuff" as a substitute for actual quality time, or as an apology for whatever parenting lapse the adults feel guilty about. This behavior is basically just a parent's way of apologizing to their kid for the world they live in and the way they're living in it.
It isn't the only reason kids turn out spoiled, but it matters for this conversation. Entitlement—or worse—can come from parents who can't hold a firm line when it counts. It can stem from situations where a child is perceived as being "damaged" by external circumstances, leading parents to overcompensate. Or maybe it’s just a meddling grandparent getting involved in the discipline. Basically, anything.
The bottom line? There has to be a gap in the upbringing for a child to become spoiled; there has to be a principle in place that allows it to happen. I don't think objects alone are the problem; it's the way they're presented to the kid. If a child learns to expect every whim to be met, they’re going to start demanding it.

That’s true—but look, if their basic needs are actually being met, they can handle it when they don't get every little secondary thing they want right away. I honestly think a well-adjusted kid handles a "not right now" much better because they aren't dealing with that massive compensation reflex you see when a kid lacks the fundamentals—you know, things like love, attention, or just feeling safe. Parenting requires actual thought and intuition; yeah, we all mess up, but that’s a hell of a lot better than being totally checked out or trying to fix everything by steamrolling through a kid's boundaries with brute force.
You definitely need to set firm rules with older kids—like, sit them down and make a real deal about screen time or gaming—but you also have to live in the real world. You can't just mindlessly parrot what your parents said back in the day like, "...well, back in my time, we did it this way..." That kind of thinking is just lazy; it shows a total lack of effort to actually understand how kids grow up today.

To me, leaning hard on authority—the whole "because I said so, I'm the boss" vibe—is a recipe for disaster. It either breaks them so they comply while being damaged inside, or it turns them into those "spoiled brats" (honestly, that term should probably be illegal) which is just another way of saying they're damaged too.

What even is "spoiling" anyway? It’s just this tired cliché people slap onto parents these days. Like, what are we actually doing regarding our own responsibilities? Are we even carving out 60 minutes a day to focus solely on our kids—on whatever they want to do? Kids are a direct reflection of us. That whole term "spoiled" implies that giving kids affection or attention is somehow a bad thing, which is total nonsense. It’s actually the opposite—if we weren't taught properly by our own parents, we fail at our duties (which means giving them focused, undivided attention) because we’re too busy looking out for ourselves instead of thinking about others. Joanna, would you enjoy sitting on a packed Greyhound bus in 90-degree heat without AC after working an eight-hour shift just to make ends meet? Or how about driving 45 miles home in a sweltering car with no air conditioning, knowing you still have to deal with cooking, cleaning, and laundry once you walk through the door? How much actual freedom do kids really have to express themselves? We teach them at the local park that it's "rude" to tell another kid, "HEY, THAT'S MY TOY," and force them to share—literally ripping toys out of their hands—yet most adults aren't even willing to share their own stuff, whether it's money, cars, or books...

Boundaries? Yeah, sure, you need them. But you can only set boundaries if you actually understand your own limits and respect everyone else's. That requires a massive amount of self-respect, which, let's be honest, is pretty hard to find in the world today. Well-adjusted, well-raised kids only come from parents with solid character.

Responsibility? Is the right way to teach a kid responsibility really just through bribery and threats? You know, the whole "If you don't clean this up, then [insert consequence here]" routine. Or do we force them to clean while simultaneously calling them a mess (pure criticism), or do we actually praise them and ask for their help? Stuff like that...

Everyone’s got an opinion on everything—that’s just how our brains are wired from day one. Honestly, if you dig deep enough, any psychotherapist is going to bleed their own biases and perspectives into the session through unconscious cues, whether they mean to or not. I was spiraling a bit earlier, just thinking out loud about whether a therapist being gay actually matters that much in the grand scheme of things. Personally? I care way more about their moral compass and those core spiritual values they actually live by, regardless of who they're attracted to. That’s the stuff that drives the sessions. Though, I'll admit, when it comes to getting into the nitty-gritty of my own intimate life, I’d probably find it a lot easier to open up to a gay male therapist.

Generally speaking, it feels like guys are pretty much "set" from the jump until that biological drive kicks in—you know, that whole physical release phase—whereas for women, the mental stuff takes a bit longer to catch up. In those early stages, we’re basically just vibing, thinking we actually *know* someone, showering them with compliments... it's like we're totally blind to their glaring red flags. We ignore everything that’s going to become a massive dealbreaker three years down the line. Most people I know end up cycling through relationships right around that 2.5 to 3-year mark... always leaving with some variation of the same story: "How did I not see that coming?" Sometimes I really wonder if we’re even actual humans with agency, or just glorified animals being puppeted around by hormones and nothing else.

redharbor9 said:Look, I don't care if they knew or not, it doesn't change a thing for me. 😍 I was just curious and wanted to see what everyone else thought... people have already been hitting me up with this question anyway.

The only answer I give is that it'll probably help me pull more women. 😂

It’s like, if you came to me with marriage problems, how would I even respond? Like, how do you handle relationship drama? You’ve got therapists who swear by doing whatever it takes to save a marriage at all costs, and then you’ve got others who basically tell you to just pack your bags and leave. Given that about 90% of the gay community is pretty much geared toward rotating through partners, there's a huge chance a gay therapist wouldn't see anything wrong with constantly switching things up.

Lisa Martinez3 said:Introduction to Psychodrama🤔
It sounds pretty interesting, though I’m still trying to wrap my head around the specifics... who exactly is this designed for? Does anyone here have actual experience with it? Any reviews or critiques... maybe a bit of honest feedback?
Thanks 🙂

I've heard bits and pieces about it—one group ran an experimental session once and the results were honestly incredible. If someone runs a solid session, I’d definitely be down to jump in.