Look, it’s simple—men look at a future partner through the lens of passing on genes. It's pure instinct. You think women back in the caveman days were out organizing feminist rallies? Honestly, sometimes I get the vibe that certain modern feminists just want to go around surgically removing everyone's breasts—just to wipe out any physical evidence that the female body was actually designed for reproduction. I'm not targeting you specifically, mind you, just throwing my thoughts out there. I'm not sitting here preaching that every single woman needs to have kids—not even close—I'm just calling it like I see it. Personally, I believe everyone should just do whatever makes them happy, provided they aren't being jerks about it. I don't necessarily think having offspring is the ultimate peak of human achievement or anything, but when you look at this hyper-materialistic world we live in—where people treat "scientists" like they used to treat high priests in old religions—I really think there isn't a bigger contribution men and women can make together than ensuring our species keeps moving forward...
Look, you can call it primitive if you want, but actual neuroscience points directly to these conclusions. Half the stuff we do in life is just straight-up primal instinct—we just trick ourselves into thinking we're making some big, conscious choice. Take falling in love, for instance...
Donna Taylor68 said:If we’re going by that logic, then possessive people shouldn't have kids either (I know plenty of suffocating parents in my own neighborhood). And what about ambivalent people? That could absolutely wreck a kid's mental health too. Or selfish people. Where does it end? How is anyone supposed to know if they're mentally "unfit" if they haven't sat down with a doctor for a formal evaluation and a diagnosis? So what's next? Mandatory psych testing before IVF? A government permit to have children?
Licensing sounds extreme, but honestly, it wouldn't hurt if society—through actual therapists—stepped up to provide real support for raising kids. If it were up to me, I’d tie any kind of government child tax credits or assistance directly to passing certain assessments. In principle, we should probably be checking in on potential parents starting way back in high school. Look, I'm not talking about some utopia here, but there's always room to make things better. Plus, nowhere in our schools are young people actually prepared for the reality of parenthood or even just basic interpersonal communication—it's all about grinding out math formulas they'll never use in the real world.
Keith Jones76 said:Why complicate things with these false dilemmas? Success belongs to anyone who lives with dignity and integrity, and fosters those same values in the people around them (including here on this forum). The truly wise realize there are no pre-set rules, only the ones we discover through our own freedom and sense of responsibility. As for how one expresses that (or multiple versions of it), that's entirely individual.
I think you should probably ask the women. For instance, I am one—and I disagree.
Look, sure, he’s successful, but honestly? Raising a decent, high-quality human being is worth way more than most of these so-called "big wins" we see today—which, let’s be real, aren't even real successes to begin with. That's just my two cents, based on what I've seen play out in the world.
I think you should ask the women. For instance, speaking as one myself—I totally disagree!
Now, you might consciously feel like you have a different perspective, but deep down, you know our brains have been hardwired over thousands of years—survival of the species always comes first. I’ve talked to plenty of women who insisted they felt differently, but you can't argue with Mother Nature. It's just how it is.
The thing is, a tiny fraction of guys actually pay attention to facial expressions. We’re basically incapable of predicting when tears are coming. We don't know how to handle it, and frankly, it's just an evolutionary byproduct.
Carl Anderson76 said:Honestly, it’s not the idea of having a baby that scares me—it’s my partner. I feel like I could go for a kid right now if I wasn't so anxious about everything else... I just know that once I’m pregnant, I’m going to be an absolute wreck, overanalyzing every single little thing a thousand times over. And I’m terrified of feeling totally alone, like I'm just stuck with a newborn while he checks out emotionally. That’s the last thing I want. I really want us to be a team, you know? Like, equal partners who are actually happy and chill together. I just dream about us being super affectionate through the whole pregnancy and not having a single stupid argument for those nine months.
You’re definitely romanticizing the whole thing a bit too much... though, from what I can tell, that’s just how women think. If you look at it from a primal, biological standpoint—as a potential mother—you instinctively realize that during pregnancy and for a long time after, you physically can't hunt for food and protect your offspring at the same time...
That's why a woman looks for stability and a man's ability to provide as much as anything else.
Honestly, there’s nothing more impactful for this world than one healthy, happy human being raised right. We brag about all these massive breakthroughs in science and medicine every single day—it’s all great, really—but does the world actually get any better? Not really. Look at the workforce; women are fighting for equal footing in these cutthroat corporate environments, sure, but what’s left for the individual once you strip everything else away? Just some fancy title? Some empty status? No amount of career success can justify treating your kids like an afterthought or failing the people who actually make up the fabric of our society today. In my book, if someone is dealing with a serious mental health diagnosis and isn't actively working through it with a professional, they should probably steer clear of parenthood altogether.
There are actually people out there who stay in the driver's seat—you know, the ones who actually control their instincts instead of letting them run the whole show.
To me, "special" people—the ones actually worth knowing—are those who operate above the noise. They’re the thinkers, the ones who actually use their heads to dig for answers without turning around to judge everyone else for being different. See, there’s this trap we fall into—people like us who pride ourselves on having an intellect that sits a bit higher than the status quo (and let’s be clear, I’m talking about intellectual depth, not just some IQ score)—where we start using our "superiority" as a way to distance ourselves from the masses. We try to act like we're somehow separate from the average crowd whose whole existence seems centered on just eating, sleeping, chasing a paycheck, and praying all that stuff leads to some permanent kind of happiness... but honestly? Once you start playing that ego game to feel superior, you aren't special anymore. You’ve just become another cliché. Real strength of character—that's what actually sets a person apart in a sea of mediocrity—and that usually means being willing to look past your own narrow self-interest.
I’ve been tracking how my body reacts to stuff for years now—look, I don’t really struggle with depression normally, but black tea and heavy doses of coffee? They trigger this depressive slump just a few hours after I drink them, sometimes even dragging on for 20 hours. Plus, there's this intense oversensitivity, especially with black tea right when the caffeine and theanine kick in. For instance, my baseline with my five-year-old son is actually pretty chill and patient. But the second I have coffee, my fuse basically disappears—I lose about 90% of my patience and just snap way too easily. I also start sweating like crazy under my arms without doing any actual physical work.
It’s honestly a dangerous drug that wreaks havoc on your relationships. First, you get this hyperactive jitteriness, and then it crashes into depression and passive-aggressiveness. I’ve even noticed I get these brutal headaches when I try to quit coffee, though I don't get them with tea.
mistybison said:My one true ambition has always been to secure enough wealth to enjoy life's pleasures without ever having to work for it. While I haven't achieved that goal just yet, I am certain it is never too late to make it happen. 😁 I actually think things are better this way for now. If I were further along, I might lose my drive to improve, and I simply don't have enough experience yet to realize how vital constant growth is for anyone. One should never stop evolving. 🙂 I probably would have turned into a lazy, mindless sea lion by now, spending my days lounging around with absolutely nothing on my mind but boredom. 😁
Compared to this specific ambition, I view all my other desires as mere wishes. Everything I have truly wanted—rather than just thinking was a "good idea"—has eventually come to fruition, one way or another. I believe that when a person genuinely desires something and commits their entire being and energy to it, success becomes inevitable. This is especially true for goals within our own control, such as pursuing higher education, traveling, or career milestones. While life hasn't always unfolded exactly as I planned, looking back, it’s clear that experience has ultimately made me wiser. 🙂
Like everyone else, I occasionally find myself slipping into "what if" scenarios. During these moments, past mistakes can start looking like missed opportunities, or I might feel a twinge of regret over a choice I made. However, I realize this is usually just a byproduct of being in a dissatisfied headspace; I end up romanticizing the past simply because my current situation isn't ideal. In truth, I know I have always made the best decisions possible given the circumstances at the time. Sometimes, I just enjoy the mental exercise of imagining how life might have unfolded—perhaps if I had married my high school sweetheart or chosen a different major in college—but those aren't true regrets. It's just idle curiosity.
I believe it is a profound self-deception to assume life will become perfect once our desires are satisfied, or that happiness is merely the result of achieving everything we once wanted. In reality, desires are endless; one always gives way to the next. These impulses are what drive us toward action, vitality, and growth. Ultimately, seeking liberation from desire involves a certain degree of desire itself. — bluemason3 😛There is a story about a philosopher—I believe it was Socrates—who was once asked by a student when he would finally attain wisdom. To demonstrate, the teacher led him to a river and submerged his head beneath the water. Only when the student began to struggle desperately for air did the teacher pull him up, explaining that wisdom would only come when one desired it as intensely as they desired breath while underwater. It is essential, however, to learn how to distinguish true desire from mere "good ideas," which often masquerade as genuine passion. 😉
You're thinking straight. To actually pull off a goal like that, you need other things to aim for—otherwise, you just end up totally stagnant. It's a human flaw, really; that drive to evolve often morphs into this endless, restless need to constantly tweak and improve our circumstances. They say if you give a person power, you finally see who they really are...
loneowl39 said:Pure nonsense and a blatant falsehood. This is the textbook mindset of someone who has never faced a single real hardship or significant handicap in their life.
Man, I actually have to sign my name to the very things you're calling lies. If you look at the actual situations—the "problems" people talk about and the literal walls I’ve hit and am still hitting—it gives me every right to say that you lose nothing by trying. You always walk away with something. Sure, maybe it isn't what you originally wanted, but you get something out of it. Every action triggers a reaction. Negative hits negative, positive hits positive. It's just how the world works.
Casey Palmer5 said:Becoming more resilient to suffering... isn't that just a fancy way of saying we're becoming a little more cold-hearted?
No thanks.
Sometimes I feel like I actually feel the pain of animals even more deeply than I do when it comes to people...
Real empathy comes from those "strong" types—people who don't let their compassion compromise their own backbone. It means if they realize their empathy is doing more harm than good in a specific moment, they have the guts to say no.
Animals don't have massive egos or expect you to bow down in gratitude. To me, having deep empathy for animals while being totally cold toward actual humans... well, that feels off. It looks more like a psychological red flag or maybe some deep-seated trauma from how they were raised.
Look, you’ve got massive potential—honestly, just those few sentences you wrote are enough for me to see it. On one hand, you should actually be thankful for the chaos around you; it’s what forces you to step back and figure out who you really are. On the flip side, you need boundaries. You need them. There isn't a single person on this planet who can laugh at you. Sometimes we humans get stuck in this delusion where we think we’re way smarter than we actually are. In reality, we’re just a bunch of stubborn idiots convinced we have life figured out. Go grab some books on "pop psychology" and start reading. Age doesn't matter here—for all I know, I might be talking to a future billionaire.
If you had these built-in defense mechanisms from birth, you wouldn't even be in a position to reflect on yourself or the world around you. Think about the massive handicap people face when they just drift through life without noticing how their environment is reacting to them. They're just stumbling around blindly...
It’s beautiful, really—I haven't met anyone whose inner strength hasn't completely taken over them. Plus, let's be real: women tend to look for money or status—that's basically their aphrodisiac. Otherwise, Bebek would never even get a look-in... Then there's confidence. Once you actually nail that, people swarm you like bees to sugar. Men and women alike. That’s why being strong and knowing how to say "NO" is everything—so many people don't know how to do that, and they'll try to drain your energy. I'm telling you this from experience.
Spot on. It’s like they're speaking two different languages—she’s looking at everything through her own lens, all kinds of subtext going on there, while he’s just stuck in his own head... they're basically ships passing in the night.
Cut the TV out of your life entirely—if you can actually afford to live off the grid, that is. Just embrace being alone for a bit. Who knows? Maybe in a few years, you’ll have a house full of kids to look after, plus a husband to take care of until the very end... Maybe it’s time to make some actual, heavy-duty decisions about where your life is headed. Sometimes, you just hit one of those dead zones where everything stops moving. If you're stuck in this constant, frantic grind but you feel like you're just rotting away while pretending to actually live, you need to snap out of it. Go borrow ...it might give you some perspective.
Sandra Parker3 said:When someone tries to flirt with you, they usually just drop some blunt, one-dimensional line like, "I want you." It could mean "I want to screw you," or it could be that other thing... honestly, it just depends on who you're talking to. The only exceptions are those few people I mentioned earlier—they play both sides on purpose, making it impossible to tell what they’re actually after until it's too late.
A woman isn't some object you can just drag into bed. 🙄
That whole thing with the curve... honestly, it all just depends on how things actually went down. 😁 It’s a minor point and honestly, we aren't even at the summit right now, so it’s not really worth the debate, but I just don't see where the ambiguity is supposed to be. 😕
If you actually want to know if someone cares about you, try getting to know them before jumping into bed. Give yourself some breathing room, and you won't be stuck overthinking everything like this.
I don't get it—if you actually get to know someone before sleeping together (which is how things are supposed to work), the whole trajectory of that connection changes completely. 🤷
Sex is really just one small part of the whole picture; it’s basically the same deal with any kind of casual hanging out—some people are totally laid back about everything, while others are constantly overanalyzing what it all actually means.
I guess I just tend to read between the lines when it comes to women's ambiguous messages. Like, if she shows up wearing a short skirt and a plunging neckline, I'm definitely interpreting that through my own lens. This one’s going to be an easy target... she was just some poor soul trying to present her best self because that’s what modern society tells us we have to do.
These aren't even ambiguous messages from her if you actually bother to look at them. A short skirt and a low neckline send a clear message—one person, one message. You get what I mean... any ambiguity is just something people make up in their own heads.
Look, we're getting way too deep into psychology here—it’s really not that black and white. He sends you a signal, basically begging you to validate him—to show him he's smart, strong, hot, or whatever ego boost he thinks he's lacking. It’s rarely about actually caring for you.
I don't get it—if you meet up before things get physical (which, let's face it, always happens first), the seed curve works differently🤷
I'm talking about a long period of getting to know someone without jumping into bed—have you ever actually tried that? You know, the kind of thing they don't show you on "Sex and the City." The curve stays the same; the intervals might just shift, but nothing lasts forever. A guy who’s willing to wait a few months isn't just going to vanish and ghost you the second he gets lucky...
these aren't even ambiguous messages from women a short skirt and a low neckline is a direct signal. One person, one message, you feel me? Ambiguity is just something people make up in their own heads.
You were never actually in a position to have some guy go wild on you. Honestly, you were just trying too hard to be liked because you weren't feeling secure in yourself...
When you’re out there playing the seduction game, you’re basically trying to steer someone down a specific path. It’s like, every time a guy starts flirting, he's dropping those little double entendres, right? They’re all just trying way too hard to look cooler than they actually are. Sure, the guys who are smooth talkers—the real silver-tongued devils—might actually get you into bed, but for most of us, that’s where the whole thing hits a dead end. Once the physical part is over, the interest just craters. It doesn't matter who he is—could be some guy acting like a saint or a preacher—it happens to everyone. I know this because, honestly, I talk to them.
If you actually want a guy to give a damn about you, try getting to know him before things get physical. Give it some breathing room, and you won't be stuck spinning your wheels with these kinds of questions. Nowadays, everyone tries to build their house starting with the roof, which—let's face it—totally defies the laws of physics.
Look, I'm not saying you personally act like this, feralhound55, I'm just throwing my two cents out there like I was talking to a friend who came to me venting. ------------------------------ Besides, when we read a woman's suggestive messages, we interpret them through our own lens. You show up in a short skirt and a low-cut top: "She's gonna be an easy win..." meanwhile, she's just a poor soul trying to look her best because that's what society tells her she needs to do to be noticed.
Why is everyone always obsessing over this "mystical union" thing when talking about sexual tantra? Like, what’s the actual point? Can even an average Joe actually experience that, or is it just something you have to ditch if you’re trying to reach some ultimate truth or enlightenment? If we’re looking at it through a dualistic lens—can any kind of ecstasy actually become a roadblock on the path to total oneness? For instance, as a guy, could I end up just walking away from an experience like that because the intensity is so terrifyingly overwhelming? It’s presented as this peak spiritual breakthrough, but isn't it also a massive trap down the line? We’re already out here struggling with all these lesser, weaker imitations of God, so why do we need even more intense validation of the physical world? I mean, tantra basically requires the body to exist in the first place, right? --------------- Look, tantra is fine—if it means giving our partners something more than the bare minimum, sure. Adding vacuuming or doing the dishes to the list of "spiritual practices" wouldn't hurt either. But honestly, I just want someone to be real with me for once and tell me they’ve actually achieved the results people brag about so much. It’s the same deal with all those various wellness trends and "techniques." Tons of hype, but zero substance. Once you start digging, you realize most of it is just smoke and mirrors... Sure, some people might naturally last longer because we're all built differently, and then they turn it into some weird cult movement—cough, cough, we all know how that goes.
So tell me, do the women you see in therapy just look at you and see their mothers? 🙂 Just kidding—mostly. Though I wouldn't be surprised if certain patients tried to pull that on you—you know, the ones who grew up with these repressed sexual fixations from childhood that they've shoved into the deepest, darkest corners of their subconscious.