Posts by Laura Castillo6

I remember reading somewhere that certain pills were actually discovered back in the 1950s, but they were originally intended for something else entirely before researchers realized they could help manage this specific disorder.
It seems like it’s always been a case of the illness existing first, followed by the symptoms. All this talk we have about brain chemistry is likely the result of extensive animal testing that eventually led scientists to these conclusions.

I won't go too deep into the weeds here, but studying the human brain is incredibly tricky when it's tucked away inside someone's head. Once a person passes away, brain function ceases, so there's a limit to what can actually be investigated. That's just one of the ways science hits a wall.

But unlike in the old days, who can actually isolate you from society today? As long as you aren't in a full psychotic state, who is really going to claim you're different from everyone else? Honestly, nobody, which is why I keep saying the diagnosis itself isn't the most important thing.
Think about it—every single one of us carries a certain number of mutated, potentially cancerous cells in our bodies as we age. Whether someone actually gets diagnosed with cancer depends on their symptoms, general health, and various tests. It all comes down to whether the immune system manages to keep those rogue cells under control.

In a similar way, whether by some miracle or just through natural means, a person experiencing psychosis continues to live, even if they are living in an imagined reality. Their brain chemistry is out of balance, causing them to misinterpret everything they see in the world.

Medications work by blocking receptors, and that process inevitably leads to unwanted side effects.
It's really no different than using marijuana or alcohol. Those substances interact with neurotransmitter receptors, which changes how a person feels and acts.

But then again, those final elements—how someone feels, behaves, and speaks—are enough to trigger a diagnosis. Still, I have to reiterate: a diagnosis matters for treatment, because without it, someone could remain in a psychotic state until they die. Take Einstein's son, for example; he lived in psychosis for thirty years and passed away in a mental health facility. That means he spent three decades without a clear sense of self, or perhaps only had brief moments of awareness. That’s a tragic life to lead; it makes me wonder, what do plants even feel?
At the end of the day, you don't need a medical marker for people around you to realize that something is clearly off when someone starts rambling about aliens.

Jose Ward4 said:Aha. I did a little surfing online. Found this: "Acute polymorphic psychotic disorder without schizophrenic symptoms." It’s not easy for you either.

I'm actually feeling pretty good right now, despite this intense heatwave. I mean, what would I even attempt? Trying to live without medication? If I had some kind of actual support—someone to guide me through it—I might try. I feel certain about it, but I am absolutely convinced that I need to overhaul my diet first. If only someone actually knew how to do that... then maybe we could talk about tapering off the pills. I've been watching stuff on YouTube about people who managed to resolve their issues just by changing what they eat. But you have to know *how* to do it. There are actually a few doctors in the USA who have successfully treated patients just through dietary changes and specific exercises. Maybe some Yoga or something along those lines. Now, why we see and hear things, I don't know. Is it a genuine chemical imbalance in the brain, or are we just operating on a different frequency when we're in psychosis? Who knows. I suspect they might be hiding things from us. For instance, when I'm in psychosis, my brain functions identically to a "healthy" patient's brain. A CT scan can't prove I have schizophrenia. And I'm not entirely sure, though I've heard it from others, that you can't even detect a dopamine or serotonin imbalance during psychosis. Again, unprovable. So, the only thing left is for a doctor to evaluate you, hand you a diagnosis, and write a prescription. It’s a strange way to operate...

Just wanted to add:
When I was last hospitalized—that was last year, Sparrow—I didn't have a single blood test or a CT scan the entire month I was there. The guy sharing my room was also a first-timer, and he didn't go for blood work or a CT scan either. He actually mentioned it to me; we got along quite well. Good guy. When you look at these diagnoses, they aren't even scientifically proven in the way you'd think. Usually, you'd expect a CT scan or blood work (checking dopamine, serotonin, etc.) to prove a disease exists. That’s how everything else in medicine works, but apparently not here. It seems the only thing that matters is having a person—a psychiatrist—diagnose you and give you the meds...

You really can't just deny that psychosis is a real medical condition. Once someone starts coming back to reality after an episode, they usually have a pretty clear idea of what went down. Plus, even the psychiatrists—the ones who actually know their stuff—can tell when something is fundamentally off based on how a person communicates, their body language, and all those little nuances in conversation. We might not have a machine that can point to a screen and say, "There it is," but you don't need one. A proper psychological evaluation through actual, deep conversation is more than enough to prove it's happening.

Just wanted to add:
When I was last in the hospital—I think it was about a year ago at a facility over in Seattle—I didn’t have a single blood test or a CT scan done, even though I was there for an entire month. There was this other guy staying in my room, someone who had never been hospitalized before, and he hadn't gone through any scans or blood work either. He actually brought it up during one of our chats; we ended up getting along pretty well. It really makes you think, though. When you look at how things work, most diagnoses aren't exactly backed by hard physical evidence. Usually, if you're dealing with medical issues, you go in for a CT scan or blood tests to check your dopamine or serotonin levels just to prove what's actually going on. That’s how almost everything in medicine works. But in this field? Apparently not. It feels like the only thing left is for a psychiatrist to sit you down, give you a diagnosis, and hand you some pills.

You don't actually need some high-tech medical device to diagnose a mental health condition. Take anxiety, for example—you don't exactly need to run blood tests or check chemical levels in the body just to prove someone is struggling with an anxiety disorder. It’s something you can observe and understand through conversation and experience, rather than just looking at data on a screen.
Look, we all know that brain chemicals like dopamine and all that stuff are absolutely vital for how our neurons actually talk to each other. It’s the engine under the hood, right? But at the end of the day, when you're looking at actual symptoms of an illness, there isn't really a magic number you can just point to. You can't exactly run a test to say, "Aha! This person is exactly 4.2 milligrams short on dopamine," and call it a formal diagnosis. It’s more about the way those symptoms manifest in a person's life rather than trying to nail down a precise chemical measurement.
Honestly, I don't think you should ever look at a diagnosis as some kind of final sentence. It’s more like a roadmap—a starting point that leads you toward the right therapy and eventually to a place of stability. As for tapering off medication, it’s definitely possible, but you really shouldn't try to go it alone. You need to work closely with a professional to do it safely. I actually know quite a few people who managed to successfully step away from their meds even after taking them for decades. It’s all about patience and seeing how things settle over time, provided there isn't a relapse. Just take it one step at a time.

Jose Ward4 said:Do you have a formal diagnosis? Has a doctor actually sat down and diagnosed you with it?

To be honest, for me, there isn't much of a difference between f23 and f20.

Man, people love complaining to the government about how we don't have enough experienced doctors out there 😁.

I was once on Normabel, which is a benzodiazepine. But I was using it under strictly controlled conditions: what that means is I had to go in for regular check-ups, and my psychiatrist would gradually taper my dosage down over time until we finally discontinued it altogether.
Honestly, based on what I went through, it would be incredibly hard for me to fall asleep without that medication. Psychoactive drugs can definitely cause side effects and damage, but when you’re weighing the benefits of treating an illness against those side effects, you keep using the medication until the very first signs pop up that suggest the drug itself is causing the trouble.

And look, just because there's a lack of highly trained professionals doesn't mean it's a valid reason to say a drug like xyz shouldn't be used. That kind of logic would be more suited for a political flyer claiming everything is rotten in the US.

edit: also, I honestly don't get how a general practitioner can prescribe psychoactive meds; in my experience, everything always had to go through a psychiatrist.

Jose Ward4 said:I went once. To be honest, psychiatry feels strange to me in general, but I did see a psychologist for an hour about three months ago. And I came out feeling even more wrecked than when I walked in. It didn't help at all. We were talking, and all I could think was, "What a joke." So, right now, I really don't feel like looking for someone new...

That's true. So, are you completely off the pills now?

Well, it’s just because they don't know, honestly. Simple as that.

That’s true. So, are you actually done with all those pills now? Not taking any more at all?

I usually take about 1.5mg of Ativan to help me drift off at night. It's just my little routine to help settle everything down so I can actually get some rest.

Jose Ward4 said:You nailed it, especially regarding the psychosis and the "medication" part. For me, even though staying in that psychotic state felt almost euphoric at times, the terror would creep in. I didn't have hallucinations, at least not during those first seven days when I was attempting to jump off my balcony, but the fear? That was real. By the seventh day, I was terrified to even step out my front door. If it weren't for those fears, I might have actually embraced the psychosis and all those wild ideas you mentioned, because my brain was firing like a firework display. Those scares are what ruin it. Maybe if I had people by my side, I could have pushed through. Who knows.

For me, it was pure anxiety—just constant fear—right after the psychosis hit.

I still remember those early days, bouncing between my psychologist and then seeing a psychiatrist. Since everything was so new to me, I couldn't quite wrap my head around the term anxiety. I kept telling them how terrified I was of slipping back into psychosis (which, in my opinion, is what most people who have lived through it feel—that underlying dread), so they just kept noting down on my charts that I was "anxious."

Looking back, I felt like they didn't truly get me because they had no idea what actual psychosis feels like. But the reality is, my anxiety was essentially a direct reaction to the psychosis itself 😲
. I understand that now, but back then, it was a total blur.

By my fifth visit to the psychiatrist, she had already decided to put me on something for the anxiety. It felt like nobody actually wanted to hear about the deep-seated terror; they just wanted to label it. The harsh truth is that at the end of the day, regardless of what diagnosis you carry, life doesn't stop. For us regular folks, that means you still have to earn a living and handle your daily responsibilities. 🙏

Eventually, I stopped going to the psychiatrist—mostly because I wanted to avoid being handed a prescription—and started setting small goals for myself. I just followed my gut and gave myself tasks to complete. I hadn't read anything about anxiety at the time, but looking back, I realize how incredibly difficult it is for people dealing with it. After a while, things started to improve. The fear gradually began to fade, and now I can function pretty well on a day-to-day basis.

Even outside of mental health struggles, I think fear is just the most dominant emotion we have. Something I've noticed through my own experience is that fear is almost always much more intense than the actual danger present in reality.

Look, this forum is really just a space for us to swap stories and experiences. If you’re wondering why a specific reaction is happening, you really need to talk to the doctor who actually wrote the prescription (if there's even anyone like that active here in the US).
Every single medication comes with its own set of side effects. Valium, for instance, is meant to be used under strict medical supervision, and you should try to keep the usage as short as possible specifically because of the dependency risk.

I see it all the time—patients just stop listening. They get discharged from the hospital and then decide to go rogue, taking meds however they feel like instead of following the actual instructions. There are all sorts of ways people handle it, but honestly, just ask your psychiatrist.

As for the link between certain drugs and Alzheimer's, the latest research suggests that insomnia might actually be a much bigger trigger for the buildup of those brain-damaging plaques. See, when you get decent, long-lasting sleep, your brain basically does its own housekeeping by clearing out those harmful proteins. But of course, the second insomnia hits, everyone reaches straight for the Normabell.

I mean, who actually has the energy to deal with all those side effects anyway...?

darksurfer4 said:Why shouldn't we hope for something better? A life where we aren't trapped in a state of psychosis, yet aren't feeling like total zombies either?

Well, regardless of what happens to any single person on this planet, hope dies right along with the people who hold it.

Harold Anderson3 said:A state of psychosis is so much more terrifying than just dealing with the side effects of medication.
Of course, we shouldn't ignore those heavy bouts of depression that sometimes crop up while you're on meds, but they aren't always caused by the drugs themselves.
Those episodes—if you've ever experienced them—can be incredibly uncomfortable, even if they are temporary. They almost feel paralyzing, leaving you stuck for hours or even days at a time. It’s just pure negativity, constant thoughts about death or how hard life is... it feels like it will last forever, but I promise, they always pass.

I hate psychosis because there's zero control—you can't control yourself, the illness, or that entire chaotic mental festival going on upstairs. But when I was in the middle of it, I would have described it similarly to how that user fellow did; he really captured part of the experience.

It’s everything from incredible sensations to wild visions and ideas... honestly, it's stuff that probably 95% of people will never experience in their entire lives.
BUT... the fact that you lose all control is a massive downside. It isn't a healthy brain state, and there are plenty of negative feelings, terrors, and dark hallucinations involved. There's a bit of everything in there.
After a psychotic break comes the injections. To get things under control, they hit you with heavy sedatives, and once things settle down a bit, they move you onto daily medications.

And that’s exactly how these drugs work—by blocking receptors. They trigger depression because, logically speaking, if psychosis were the direct cause of the depression, you'd just be constantly depressed.

Why does this happen? Because neuroscience and psychiatry are still relatively young fields. This science is essentially flying blind; they don't truly grasp what's happening inside the brain. They've barely scratched the surface. The main weapon they have is these medications, which, incidentally, were originally discovered for something else entirely, and then someone experimented with them for psychiatric disorders. It's interesting that while most of them suppress the positive symptoms of psychosis, they often create those negative ones in the form of depression.

Man, as long as life goes on, hope stays alive. When one of those two disappears, everything else goes with it.

Harold Anderson3 said:I can certainly try to be persistent, but I’m starting to feel like this specific approach to treatment isn't really working for me. It feels like a double-edged sword; as much as the meds help on one hand, they seem to be doing just as much damage on the other. Without them, I might struggle with my mental stability, but with them, I feel like a shell of a person—emotionally numb, isolated, and like I'm just spinning my wheels in life. Does anyone else honestly think this is a fair way to live?

I don't think it's okay either, but it feels like there's no other choice. I mean, technically you could try to go completely cold turkey, but we both know how messy that gets.

As for the whole "success" thing, I think you're looking at it through the wrong lens. Honestly, just being here and staying alive is a massive win, regardless of anything else.

And let's be real—psychosis isn't something you just "walk off." It can be fatal.

Just hang in there and be as persistent as you possibly can.

You really hit the nail on the head with that response.

When it comes to self-respect, honestly, the easiest way to find it is by leaning on yourself—which is basically just building up your self-confidence. They’re pretty much two sides of the same coin. To me, confidence means sticking with something long-term until you can practically do it in your sleep. To get to that level of self-respect, you have to actually believe in your own skin. You won't be a master of everything, obviously, but there’s always that one thing you’re naturally good at. If you find that sweet spot where your talent meets your passion, you've basically struck gold.

Also, when you're dealing with people, it's worth realizing that almost all human relationships are built on some kind of exchange—you know, the "I'll do this for you if you do that for me" dynamic. In today's world, it doesn't make much sense to pour yourself into something if you aren't getting anything meaningful back. It's like you need a little bit of negotiation skill, similar to how you'd handle a deal at a local flea market or even a corporate boardroom.
The strongest position you can take in any negotiation is being willing to walk away from the table. You have to show people that you truly mean it. If someone isn't treating you with respect, there's really no point in engaging with them at all.
Those negative vibes you get from hanging out with people who don't value you? That's your internal alarm system telling you something is off. You should listen to that gut feeling and steer clear of situations that leave you feeling drained. To build a healthy, positive social circle, you first have to work on yourself—and that journey of self-improvement is exactly how you build that confidence and self-respect I mentioned earlier. As you grow, you'll meet all kinds of people, and it becomes vital to figure out who is actually there for *you* and who is just using you for what you can provide. You have to be ready to walk away from anyone looking to exploit you. At the same time, you've got to accept the fact that not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever; things change, and people drift.

But the big thing to remember is that if you let others disrespect you, it becomes incredibly difficult to level up in life. Most people tend to settle for mediocrity because they're willing to make these little compromises—like letting a group pick on them just because they're afraid of being alone.
Being okay on your own isn't easy, but it’s a total prerequisite if you want to grow into a better version of yourself, regardless of what society thinks.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individualism

Joseph Bailey41 said:Technically, you don't even need a brain, but it sure does make life more interesting. 😁

There’s something about jellyfish that gives so many people a sense of hope. 😁

Angela Stewart6 said:Laura Castillo6, I didn't quite wrap my head around what you were saying regarding consciousness. If you could break that down a bit more simply, that would be wonderful!

I used to take vitamins and magnesium from Nature Made for a time. These days, things are a bit tight budget-wise, so I've switched to just taking a B-complex. Honestly, back when I was on the full regimen, I felt so much more energized—which was a lifesaver since my job involves heavy manual labor.

You don't "work" toward becoming a saint—you simply become one. You never truly know when it will happen.

So, let me ask you all—do you think consciousness is essentially synonymous with alertness? In that sense, the more alert one is, the better. Or perhaps we lose that clarity during psychosis? Or maybe it becomes so intense within us that we end up losing ourselves entirely.

Basically, the brain makes its move first, and then we become aware of it afterward. It's like consciousness isn't actually the heavy lifter when it comes to making decisions.

I’d also throw in that, looking at people dealing with psychosis, it seems like you don't necessarily need a functional sense of consciousness just to survive—at least for a little while.

Yeah, I actually used to take omega-3s for a while, but then I came across this https://www.businessinsider.com/omeg...aign=buffer-ti

It’s pretty much become common knowledge lately that those dietary supplements aren't nearly as effective as everyone used to think https://www.businessinsider.com/what...i-take-2015-10

Personally, I’m a big believer in actual medicine, so I decided to stop messing around with all those supplements myself.

Nah, I don't watch that show. It used to be this really solid science program over on PBS. 😁

By the way, does anyone happen to know if there's any new medication out or anything like that lately?

I was watching this show earlier, and honestly, it got me thinking—I feel like I can actually predict exactly what kind of decision someone is going to make just by looking at a few specific parameters.

Angela Stewart6 said:I’ve been thinking lately—and I really do believe this—that for those of us struggling with illness, the mind can be an incredible servant, but it makes for a truly terrible master. Joseph Bailey41, I absolutely love the way you frame your thoughts on this subject! Anyway, I'm signing off now because I am absolutely exhausted. I'm heading straight to bed. 🥱

I’m currently diving into this article titled What if our consciousness isn't actually what drives our minds?.

It’s a bit of a long read, but I didn't really start questioning how the mind works until I went through my own experience with psychosis. I think anyone who’s been through that understands; during a psychotic episode, you don't really have access to your consciousness—you aren't "aware" in the way we normally define it. But the mind? It keeps running, keeps driving everything, even without that conscious awareness present. I spent quite a while lost in that headspace before things finally landed me in a hospital here in the States. There were moments where that sense of psychosis would drift, but even then, there wasn't any conscious realization that anything was going wrong. I just kept going. I survived it, though.

Honestly, I feel like we might eventually find answers to almost everything in life, just maybe not when it comes to the actual mechanics of how the brain functions.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles...017.01924/full

The universe is basically this giant living organism, it just doesn't have a brain.

I honestly see that as a bit of a logical fallacy. If we’re going to argue that creation requires an intelligent designer, then we really need to look at that designer through the lens of a supreme intelligence. To me, there isn't much "intelligent design" to be found in the biological systems you've described—take, for instance, how some animals have a single opening for breathing, eating, and waste; it seems like a pretty flawed setup if you ask me, given how easily they could choke. This is a total tangent, I know, but questions about religious hallucinations often crop up during psychotic episodes. Personally, I don't see any cosmic or supernatural interference happening there, though I certainly get why people believe what they do.

steelsurfer62 said:I don't know about you, but hanging out and dealing with people is super tough for me and just drains my battery. I used to be social all the time before I realized I was actually better off without it. I mean, having a panic attack every single time you're out with people for months on end straight... it's a lot. Plus, walking in nature actually makes me feel worse. It's not that facing fears is the issue, it's just that I spend all this time doing it and it doesn't seem to help. People don't get me, and that's frustrating, because they always look at me like I'm some weirdo.

Anyway, thanks for the support. Luckily, I've got both hands and feet too. 😁

As for the meds, I guess I should try something, because living like this just isn't working. 👎

I don't know much about panic attacks personally, so you might want to check with a specialist for that.

For me, what really wears me down is being around people with totally different mentalities or beliefs than my own. Because of that, I tend to keep my distance from crowds too. But—and there's always a "but"—if you have a goal or something you want to achieve, you eventually have to put yourself out there. Maybe over time, you'll stumble upon someone who thinks just like you do; that's why I find myself in social settings more often than I'd like.
I don't quite get the part about nature, because for me, getting outdoors is usually how I unwind, but hey, we're all built differently. Maybe my anxiety was just a milder version while yours is hitting harder. Just as a side note, doctors tried to put me on anti-anxiety meds once, but I turned them down and decided to focus on some self-work instead. So far, it's been working out pretty well. Though, if things are severe, maybe medication really is the way to go.
One thing I've experimented with, though, is realizing that any given fear is almost always way more intense than the actual danger itself.