Posts by mistybison

I’m currently using Aquafina and I couldn't be happier with the results. It seems like quite a few people on this forum have had issues with Complete. For me, eye redness only becomes an issue when I spend too much time staring at a screen.

Thank you. 🙂

On the old forum, you could access every single post ever made, whereas the new version initially showed the last 500. Now, I’m seeing only the most recent 200 on the marketplace. Is this a recent update to the settings, or am I just experiencing a glitch on my end?

The forum is barely functioning on my end today. It was sluggish yesterday too, but today is a different story—I'm having to resubmit posts multiple times, most icons aren't showing up, and emojis and images are missing entirely from posts. On top of that, I'm often waiting upwards of ten minutes just to load a single page.

labellina said:I stay calm, but the other person doesn't.
(Leaving things unsaid can be worse than an actual argument because the other side is left with nothing but negative energy and endless questions)

And being ignored hurts too,
making it a more subtle form of malice or revenge.😁

👍
I also rely on the cold shoulder and silence. 😁 Engaging in open conflict simply isn't my style; it feels incredibly uncomfortable, so I only resort to it in rare instances where avoidance is impossible. 😉 Revenge comes in many forms, some quite subtle, just as forgiveness does. 🙂 Ultimately, it is all part of being human.

labellina said:When animals feel cornered or terrified, they generally react in three ways:
-playing dead
-fighting back
-running away
Humans operate similarly, depending on the threat and our own capabilities.

That is an interesting observation. My cat falls squarely into the fighting category, regardless of who the opponent is. It is quite a sight to behold. 😲

Harold Adams5 said:Give me just one example, besides Jesus.🙄

The existence of Jesus hasn't been proven. There are some excellent threads here on the forum demonstrating how the myth of Jesus was constructed from even older mythological traditions. Therefore, he doesn't qualify either. 😁 😉

goranbo said:I didn't feel like I was imposing my will on anyone's private life; rather, I was discussing this from an impersonal, general perspective.

The real question is whether such an "impersonal, general" level even exists regarding this topic (or any other). We are all simply sharing our personal views here, and in your case, those views are further reinforced by your specific spiritual beliefs, such as reincarnation.

To wrap things up, my intention was simply to suggest that forgiveness is a virtue, though you are free to interpret that differently.

As I mentioned earlier, what applies to one person doesn't necessarily apply to everyone. 😉 While you might find peace in always forgiving, others might actually feel better if they choose not to forgive.

Pomona said:If we simply punish them, we are just temporarily isolating them from everyone else. In prison, they usually just continue nursing those vengeful thoughts without receiving the psychiatric support that would actually benefit everyone—support they really should have received long before the crime if society truly wanted to focus on prevention rather than just fighting fires.

I am not a huge believer in the idea that psychiatric "help" can mold every personality into the "good and exemplary citizen" our society demands. Humans are made of both light and dark; we cannot force someone to be nothing but light. That is a utopia, even if some (like our friend Taylor Campbell4) believe there are ways for a person to transcend their nature and become an angel.😉

Taylor Campbell4 said:On our side, we often talk about the process of self-preparation—working through things mentally so we can find the inner strength and willpower to act differently. It’s how we reach that moment of spontaneous forgiveness if it's meant to happen.

In my view, you are mistaken in thinking that's not the case.

Furthermore, there really shouldn't be any required waiting period. We only feel the need for distance because we are being weak.
Someone can face their feelings or maintain perspective immediately after an event occurs, and in those instances, they might not even feel the need to forgive at all.

Are you suggesting that I don't have the right to choose not to forgive? Or do you believe I must do it simply because it's prescribed—because someone thinks it will make me a "better" person, contribute to a "perfect" world, or bring "inner peace," regardless of whether I actually share those values? 😉
My experience follows the pattern I described. I accept that your perspective is entirely different. 🙂

labellina said:Is someone who rarely apologizes just a good person who feels there's nothing to say, or are they just being prideful?😁

Perhaps we had a misunderstanding. 😉 When a person realizes they've made a mistake, the only thing that would stop them from apologizing to the person who deserves it is pure ego. I don't see any other reason for it. 🤔

crimsonhound80 said:Look, when you lose a friend in combat, see your grandmother violated, or watch your parents dragged off to a camp, forgiveness becomes an incredibly heavy burden. You might find peace in this life or the next only if you choose to walk away from revenge.

But who is the target? In these scenarios, the actual perpetrators are often untouchable, so retaliation shifts toward whoever is within reach—which usually means innocent people or even those who were originally victimized. Eventually, those same innocent bystanders strike back at other innocents, creating a vicious cycle of violence that is nearly impossible to break. Since revenge rarely reaches the ones truly deserving of punishment, it only breeds more bitterness and a sense of total helplessness in the face of injustice.

goranbo said:Essentially, offering an apology requires a certain level of courage—it takes actual strength.

To offer an apology, one simply needs to set aside their ego. 😁 😉

Pomona said:Society doesn't forgive crimes; forgiveness is a personal matter. If individuals fail to rise to that level, their destructive energy simply breeds new offenses, which they then justify by claiming victimhood.

It is human nature to crave vengeance—to want those who caused us pain to experience that same suffering. As I mentioned earlier, true forgiveness is something that develops spontaneously within a person; it follows its own natural course and requires time and distance. Forced forgiveness—which seems to be what is being discussed here (viewing forgiveness merely as a choice one can make but chooses not to)—doesn't just fail to eliminate destructive energy. In my view, suppressing emotions actually intensifies that energy, causing it to resurface later in an even more corrupted state. With genuine forgiveness, we face our emotions and support ourselves. With forced forgiveness, we simply sweep everything under the rug to maintain a facade of peace, until eventually, all those unaddressed feelings explode, causing harm to ourselves and everyone around us.

The real issue is how to break that cycle.

Achieving that through simple forgiveness is difficult. If it were easy, we wouldn't need laws and sentencing. 😉
Take a simple example: a man hits his wife. She forgives him. The next time, he hits her again. By forgiving him, she hasn't protected herself from the abuser, nor has she changed his behavior. In this situation, I believe a legal penalty would be far more appropriate than forgiveness. The woman has many options: she can forgive him endlessly until the day she kills him, she can leave and never forgive him, she can leave and still forgive him, she can become cynical toward all men because of one injustice, or she can move on without carrying bitterness to others. Regardless of whether he is forgiven, if he doesn't face consequences, he remains an abuser who will likely target another woman.

It’s strange that you call that strength and courage, especially without any boundaries. I assume the executioner is being ironic...

Knowing the executioner—I don't think so. 😁
I believe the other user explained it better than I did. 😉

Anthony Kim18 said:So, are we going to receive equity or shares in ownership then?
And accordingly, should profits be distributed fairly?

I had assumed this would operate more on a voluntary basis. 😉

Could it just be a draft?

Bloodletter said:So what’s the conclusion then—if we stop expecting anything from anyone, we won't have to deal with forgiveness at all?

Pretty much. 😁

Quincy:

And why do you believe the only way to purge anger and hatred is through other means, rather than assuming revenge could be just as healing for the soul?

I think it would work, but I simply lack the nerve to seek revenge. 😉 Taking revenge requires a certain level of strength and courage, especially since one has to live with the consequences, which are often devastating. It is much easier to grieve, suffer, hold onto resentment, wait for divine justice, and eventually forgive—or simply wait until forgiveness comes naturally. 😉

Krvnik said:Has anyone had actual experience with forgiveness?
Has any of it been positive?

For me, true forgiveness is something that happens spontaneously when I am ready for an internal shift. It occurs once all the painful emotions have been expressed and healed, my thoughts have settled, and I gain a new perspective on myself and the person who hurt me. It's when I can view everything as a valuable lesson that made me more resilient. When thinking about the past feels no different than remembering a sad movie I watched a few nights ago, I know I've truly forgiven. 🙂 That feeling is incredibly positive and liberating. On the other hand, I find "forced forgiveness," regardless of the motive, to be extremely stressful and a useless form of self-inflicted violence. It’s deeply negative, so I don't practice it. I believe if someone has already hurt me, I shouldn't hurt myself further by denying my right to feel that pain.

Quincy:

How many times were you glad you forgave, and how many times did you bitterly regret it? Have you ever managed to trust someone again after forgiving them, or was that trust gone for good? If you did trust them again, did they earn it back? What happened next?

I can overlook many things and tolerate certain personality traits that I don't particularly like, but my trust can only be broken once. 🙂 This doesn't mean I will cut that person out of my life entirely—it just means I accept them as someone unreliable and adjust my behavior accordingly. Generally, in my relationships, I start from the assumption that people aren't inherently trustworthy, and usually, that proves to be correct. 😁 Consequently, I find myself being "disappointed" less and less. The fewer expectations we hold for people, the less likely we are to be wounded by who they truly are.

Pomona said:It is necessary for our own sake, but also for his. Sometimes the urge to tell someone who hurt you exactly how you feel can cause actual physical pain; I know from experience, and that pain often subsides once you finally express yourself to them... It is a strange and wonderful experience, and absolutely enlightening.

I haven't noticed that. I have never seen expressing one's hurt to the person who caused it have a healing effect. In fact, quite the opposite. Even if I took that step—which would be terrifying for me—I think I would end up feeling even worse. You cannot erase what has happened with a single conversation or monologue (I am talking about things that hit you deeply and truly, which take a long time to heal, not minor insults or small misunderstandings). I prefer to work through my feelings privately rather than dragging others into it. 🙂

Well, I have dealt with normal people, but I have watched documentaries and shows where people talk about exactly that—how they sought out those who harmed their loved ones and how it brought them relief, after having previously thought only of revenge or suicide...

I assume that depends on the individual. Everyone reacts differently, and everyone finds different things helpful. That is why we can only speak from our own experiences, which might not hold any significance for anyone else.

It is strange how, in the case of a mass killer—like that Canadian convicted of war crimes against Mexicans (an American documentary, I can't recall the title)—we can discover a complex person, perhaps even artistically gifted, and when they pull us into their motives and reasons, we find ourselves feeling some level of understanding for them...

When we are at a great distance, completely untouched by what occurred, we can find empathy even for the most monstrous crimes. I once read posts on this forum from a woman describing how she met a man who, during wartime, literally slaughtered children (it is hard to imagine anything worse), and she spoke of finding understanding, compassion, and even love for him. But would it be different if she had watched him kill her own child? Would she still be moved by his fate, or try to understand his motives and his brokenness? Unlikely. 😉

If we offer forgiveness to someone like that, it might make sense; perhaps it is something they have never experienced, and perhaps we are showing them a different way...

People who commit mass atrocities, rape women, or slaughter children—regardless of any "artistic" temperament—are disturbed individuals. They are difficult to "heal," let alone change through forgiveness. Most of the time, such people believe their behavior is perfectly justified and acceptable. In their own worlds, they are right; however, because they are a threat to the rest of humanity, the most we can do is ensure they are prevented from repeating those crimes.

Sean Cook2 said:It is quite common for them to be caught off guard by the reaction of a victim who expresses their feelings and chooses to forgive. I truly believe there aren't that many people out there who are completely devoid of a conscience...

The desire for that kind of conversation has to come from the offender. They need to feel genuine remorse and actively seek forgiveness. If they don't, it simply shows they don't care. There is no point in offering forgiveness to someone who isn't asking for it. Doing so only leaves us vulnerable to being hurt again—if nothing else, by their coldness and lack of interest. I wouldn't go so far as to call everyone monsters, but I do think most people are fundamentally selfish and egocentric, rarely truly caring about others.