Posts by Harold Anderson3

Dana Vaughn said:Yeah, I actually caught onto that. I was seeing my psychiatrist the other day and laid it all out for them. They ended up pulling me off Solian and switched me over to Azolar, which is supposedly designed to have an affinity for both serotonin and dopamine. I'm really crossing my fingers that it actually works that way. Have you heard much about it? If I don't start feeling any different soon, I’m going to ask about moving to Effexor... honestly, that feels like my last real shot at feeling human again.

Dana, reading through your posts, I can tell you that I’ve been in the exact same boat. I dealt with two back-to-back Psychotic episodes back in 2009—the second one happened because I decided to stop my treatment prematurely. At the time, I was on massive doses of Seroquel and Risperdal (over 100mg and 50mg respectively), which left me looking completely drugged and perpetually exhausted, though I felt okay because even those heavy hits weren't quite enough to fully suppress the symptoms. As the illness started to recede over the next two years, my doctors began tapering my dosage down almost linearly. Eventually, those meds just felt too heavy, likely due to the lingering depression and lowered brain activity. Once I hit the 25mg mark for both, I still felt incredibly depressed. My doctor didn't want to lower the antipsychotics any further, so she introduced antidepressants—first Faverin and Ladiomil, and now I’m on 150mg of Effexor XL. Meanwhile, they swapped my Seroquel for Zyprexa, starting at 10mg, then 5mg, and now I'm down to just 2.5mg. In my experience, the depression isn't always just a side effect of the antipsychotics being too strong; sometimes it’s just an inherent part of the condition. My latest diagnosis is F20.4 (post-schizophrenic depression). To be honest, I haven't actually felt the schizophrenia itself for a long time now (thankfully, 🙂), it's just this depression that lingers. It might be worth discussing Effexor with your doctor, because if you taper off the antipsychotics too aggressively, the illness can flare up incredibly fast—kind of like a tiny spark that suddenly turns into a massive forest fire. That’s how my therapist puts it. Effexor shouldn't hurt you, especially at lower doses. I hadn't heard of Azolar before, but I did a little digging online and it really is a newer option, much more recent than Zyprexa, which used to be considered the "new" expensive standard.

And please, don't believe the idea that your brain is permanently damaged. Even though it certainly feels that way, it’s really just a chemical imbalance of neurotransmitters. Those aren't things that can be fixed overnight or easily, even with the most cutting-edge medicine available today. It's a tough reality, unfortunately 😢

I should probably start by admitting that my moods are incredibly volatile; I can look at the exact same situation one moment and feel completely negative about it, then shift to feeling positive, or just end up feeling totally neutral the next.
Because of this instability, one doctor suggested it might be schizoaffective disorder, mixed type, while another thought it could just be standard bipolar disorder, especially since I’ve really only dealt with one psychotic episode about four and a half years ago. That said, there's a very high chance the psychosis would return if I ever decided to stop taking Risperdal or Zyprexa.

Blue Ivy said:
Well, that's quite an interesting story.🙂
Look, you aren't alone in this, and you certainly aren't some unique case. If you take the time to read through the impressions and experiences of others who deal with your specific struggle or something similar, you'll see that with steady, proper treatment, you can live a perfectly decent life—as long as you stay within the bounds of what you're currently capable of.
That seems to be where your issue lies.
You're comparing the life you used to have with the life you have now, and you're building your vision of the future based on those two unrealistic comparisons.
No matter how you approach it, the future always feels a bit bumpy when you think like that.
Essentially, something in your way of thinking has to change, because right now, the result is consistently disappointing, much like our national baseball team's performance lately.😁
Try lowering your expectations, because you're starting from—or rather, already operating from—a completely different baseline due to the disorder.
You first need to make peace with yourself; you are who you are, and there isn't anyone else. This won't just vanish, but it can recede enough that you can live normally with the knowledge of it.
I've been on medication for nearly 20 years, and if a disorder is the kind that doesn't tolerate breaks in treatment, then you just take them and accept what needs to be done.
Psychotherapy is a massive step forward, both in terms of reducing the stigma surrounding people with schizophrenia spectrum disorders and in improving social communication.
Please don't give up on therapy.
I know it isn't easy, but try to weigh all your options—even the ones that don't seem available—analyze the situation as objectively as possible, draw a line in the sand, and you'll see that you actually have choices: you can live a quality life.
Sometimes, even a demanding job can provide a sense of satisfaction simply because everything was accomplished through your own willpower and effort.
Falling into despair is really just an unnecessary waste of time.
Tuck the past away in "mental drawers" and use the facts of who you are today to slowly build a future.😉

That is such a beautiful response. A psychologist I saw at the clinic once mentioned how vital it is for those of us with this diagnosis to accept that we are ill and to figure out what we can still achieve in life despite it. Everyone's path is different, truly varied, depending on the severity of the illness, one's abilities outside of the diagnosis, their attitude toward being sick, and how well they cooperate with their doctors.
In my case, my condition definitely doesn't allow for gaps in treatment, at least not regarding pharmacotherapy. I know the difference immediately if I drop my Zyprexa dose from 5mg to 2.5mg over a few days. With psychotherapy, it isn't quite as rigid, but it's still something worth doing regularly.
The drastic mood swings are also a struggle, though perhaps they're just unavoidable, since they happened even when I was on stabilizers like Lamictal.
I'm doing okay right now; I just hope it stays this way. 😁

ironrider11 said:Diego... self-help is just mental masturbation. Either you're gonna let some pseudo-intellectual hack talk you through a haze of "finding yourself," or you're gonna break out of the box entirely.
There’s no third option. At least, not if you're being real. Most people just hide from the world, trying to fit into their own little bubble, reshaping themselves just to cope...
It works for a minute. Using drugs—legal or otherwise—is basically just buying more time for those old patterns to keep running... But what’s screaming outside those patterns...
what’s lurking underneath them... is the stuff you actually have to "deal with." You have to face it, define it, and figure out exactly what it is... then learn to live with the noise in your own head...
Take all that past bullshit out of the closet, throw it on the table, and stare down whatever "identity" you built based on old mistakes... Fear is the biggest enemy here...
Fear is what keeps you from actually existing. Facing it means asking where all that baggage came from in the first place.
Once you answer that and decide that your history doesn't get to define you anymore... that's when you're actually free...
Free from yourself.......... To live without that "old version" of you; right now... No matter what. No fear.

I've heard plenty of people dismiss self-help as nonsense, but I don't quite agree with that view. Not entirely, anyway. A huge chunk of new releases fall under the self-help umbrella, so there's a wide spectrum of quality there. I don't believe positive thinking alone can fix everything—as much as people like Louise Hay might suggest—but I find a lot of value in more grounded authors like Stephen Covey, Eckhart Tolle, or Scott Peck. Some books are just good for passing the time, while others actually offer some real insight. It really just comes down to what works for the individual.
The same goes for medication; there's a massive difference between legal prescriptions and illegal substances. For someone struggling with severe mental health issues, certain medications are absolutely essential just to function on a daily basis. They make life manageable.
And we definitely need to address our fears, that much is true. But it shouldn't be done through sudden, manic shifts, because that's exactly how I ended up triggering my own psychosis. On the flip side, you can't ignore fear entirely either; a little bit of it is necessary for navigating life normally. Too much of it, however, makes everything incredibly difficult.
I can't click on the link right now because my internet speeds have been throttled until the start of next month, but I'm planning to check it out in about ten days. 😉

urbanmoose2 said:I'd say you're just more sensitive than most. External stuff hits you harder. The thing is, you're who you are. You can't force a change.

I deal with similar issues myself, just a bit more mellow (probably not as reactive as you 🤷). I eventually set my life up so I could step away from people who don't fit and surround myself with those I actually click with. They aren't lifelong best friends, but they're a small circle where conversation actually makes sense.

The point is to organize your life strictly how it works for you. If you have nothing to say to someone—or just don't feel like talking—don't. Just move on. If you find someone you can actually connect with, invest in them (without being overbearing, obviously). And who says you need to start a family right now? You're young. My dad was 42 when he had me, and I'm an only child.🤣

Relax a little. Do things your way instead of trying to mimic everyone else.

I was at the same university you dropped out of. Every semester, I regret enrolling at least five times because it's a grind. When it gets bad, I just grit my teeth and push through. It’s the only way to finish. I was failing everything during my freshman year, and now I'm a senior.

Just keep living on your own terms, within your own limits. Things will work out. It might not look the way you want right now, but a few years can change everything.

I think I might be genetically more sensitive than most people, but it’s also true that I dealt with the kind of stuff most kids go through growing up. You can't really combine two negative factors and expect a positive outcome, because they tend to add up rather than cancel each other out.😁
I have a handful of good friends, though I try to be careful not to "suffocate" them by dumping all my problems on them; instead, I make a conscious effort to listen and carry some of their burdens too when we talk. And of course, we don't just dwell on the bad stuff—we all have a bright side to life, even if it looks a little different for everyone.🤷

Anyway, it’s actually really nice to hear from someone who went to my old college, and who knows, maybe we'll end up being colleagues someday since I'm planning to enroll in an Electrical Engineering program. Maybe everything will just work out in the end after all.🙂

I suppose I should try to summarize my life, mostly because I’m struggling to make sense of why I feel so profoundly dissatisfied with where I am and who I’ve become.
My parents split up when I was just three years old, largely because my mother battles schizophrenia. I don't have much memory of those early years, but I know what happened through the stories told by others—mostly my paternal grandmother. She once told me that my mother didn't even want to carry me, fearing she would give birth to someone like Hitler; apparently, right after delivery, she was moved from a standard maternity ward to a psychiatric unit, which meant I didn't even see her for three months. Looking back, those might have been my first real traumas—that initial absence of a mother. There was constant fighting between her and my dad, frequent hospital stays, and eventually, by the time I was three, my father pushed for and received a divorce.

For three years following the split, I lived with my grandmother, until my father remarried when I was six. That brought a stepmother and two half-brothers into the picture (one of my stepbrothers was born out of wedlock), and I grew up in that environment until I turned 18. My stepmother was a very cold, high-strung woman; she used to hit all three of us, though her biological son—the one I mentioned—usually took the brunt of it. For me, however, the physical discipline left deeper scars. In school, I was incredibly withdrawn, mostly because I was constantly weighed down by the tension at home, terrified that if I made even the slightest mistake, I'd face more violence. My teachers noticed I was quiet, but they didn't really step in; they were too busy dealing with the more disruptive kids in class, never realizing that the child sitting silently in the corner is often the one carrying the heaviest burden.

As I got older, the punishments at home decreased, but I remained an introverted, somewhat odd kid, bordering on asocial. Academically, I did quite well—I had a real knack for math and later physics—though I suspect I could have done better. During my long study sessions, my mind would frequently drift elsewhere, so I’d say my actual effective learning time was maybe twenty percent. After middle school, I transferred to a specialized math academy in a different city because my local school didn't offer anything that rigorous. Fitting in was a massive struggle; my peers saw me as strange or confused, though they accepted me well enough. I managed to graduate with solid marks, and I even placed second in a regional physics competition.

Later, I decided to move back to my hometown to attend a general high school, which turned out to be a wise choice. The workload was more manageable, and even though I felt a bit less academically driven, I passed every grade with top marks. However, during my sophomore year, I started experiencing intrusive thoughts rooted in homophobia, along with a sudden onset of emotional apathy. This loss of warmth felt like a warning sign, as it's often a precursor to schizophrenia. I felt increasingly lost as time went on, yet somehow, I still managed to finish high school with honors.

College, however, was a different story entirely. I enrolled in the engineering program at a major university in Chicago, but after a disastrous first semester, I ended up hospitalized for depression. That period led to a massive fallout with my father, and since then, I’ve had to support myself entirely. I spent the following year working various odd jobs—construction sites, warehouses (serving food just wasn't my thing)—while preparing to re-apply to school, specifically aiming for MIT. I actually had no trouble getting back in, since the entrance requirements focused mainly on math, physics, and my high school GPA.
After a second unsuccessful first semester, my mental health took a sharp turn for the worse, leading to two consecutive psychotic episodes, diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenia.

I have recovered reasonably well since then. I’ve been consistently medicated for over four years now, and while things improved, they only ever stabilized to the level I was at before the psychosis. The depression, the confusion, the slowness, and the social isolation remain. This year, I finally withdrew from my studies at MIT; the curriculum is just too grueling for me—honestly, maybe any intense program would be too much for someone in my position.

Since moving to the city seven years ago, I’ve worked a lot of part-time student jobs, and everywhere I go, the feedback is the same: people describe me as anxious, confused, or antisocial. In some places, I was able to stay on, but in others, I was let go. Once, a coworker actually asked me, "Why are you so quiet? You act like someone everyone just walks all over." Another person was even crueler, asking if I was so socially stunted because of some childhood trauma involving my relatives.
My doctor is involved with a private non-profit, so I’ve been attending free group psychotherapy sessions there. In those sessions, they try to reassure me that I'm normal and that I'm just overthinking things—and granted, compared to people facing much more severe mental crises, I suppose I am. But when I step out into the world and interact with healthy, neurotypical people, I can see clearly that I am not like them, and unfortunately, many people tell me the same thing.

The hardest part for me is feeling like there isn’t any real way to change things down the road. I have this deep desire to just have a normal career and a family of my own, but given my health struggles and just how I am wired, that feels like pure science fiction. These late hours at night are especially tough on me. I find myself looking back at my past with so much negativity, feeling completely unfulfilled with where I am now, and viewing the future through a pretty pessimistic lens. I’ve spent a lot of time talking to specialists and I stay consistent with my medications—things like Risperdal, Zyprexa, Effexor, and Norvasc—and I even dive into self-help books quite often, yet I still can't shake this sense of dissatisfaction with my life. It honestly feels like everyone else is more capable and much happier than I am. Since most of my existence feels like an uphill battle, there are moments when I genuinely wish I had never been born.

I’m just hoping someone here might be able to relate to what I’m going through, and that I’ve managed to convey the weight of my situation even a little bit. Thanks in advance for listening. 🙂

Chloe Hughes6 said:I have absolutely no interest in scrambling for a pension.

That wasn't quite my intention; I actually meant you seemed interested in getting some information about them.

Based on your first post, I got the impression you were looking for a general overview of work capacity, whereas your second post felt more focused on fraudulent pension schemes, and those two things aren't really the same thing. 😉

Chloe Hughes6 said:Thank you for the links! However, isn't it possible for someone to retire or have their work capacity reduced due to non-psychotic diagnoses as well? While the legislation looks wonderful on paper, how does it actually function in the middle of nowhere? Washington, D.C. might handle things smoothly, but how does it really work in a small town outside of Indianapolis?

I find the pensions people have "secured" to be quite fascinating. For twenty years now, everyone has known that the crook Dr. Ruby is essentially just a radio host with a different kind of influence, except he doesn't have a window for taking bribes. When the whole scandal finally broke, he simply moved back to his apartment in Washington, D.C., and his beach house, avoiding any actual trial. Does anyone even care that by manipulating the system, he has defrauded the government of millions and continues to do so?

There is another curious phenomenon to consider. Many individuals struggle through psychiatric care or trauma from combat, yet the moment their pension is approved—lo and behold!—their condition miraculously improves. Suddenly, they no longer need psychiatry or medication. I have encountered several such cases where people show up to appointments merely to justify their disability status after receiving a ruling. They attend therapy sessions only to become difficult and obstructive, acting as though they aren't even sick enough to deserve the pension, yet they insist on disrupting group therapy sessions and being difficult.

and that's what you're interested in...

Yeah, there are plenty of fraudulent pensions out there, and they often aren't small amounts.

For instance, my ex-girlfriend, who deals with schizophrenia, inherited a veteran's pension from her mother who passed away from cancer. She hasn't broken a sweat or worked a day in her life since she was twenty, yet she gets $6,000 a month for the rest of her life. She tells me anyone would do the same if they could, and honestly, she's healthier than I am. Now, if we want to talk about actual laziness, that's a completely different conversation...

I think you hit the nail on the head there; everyone’s journey is just fundamentally different. If I had to break it down, I’d say it really boils down to three main things: how severe the condition actually is, what the person is capable of regardless of their illness, and honestly, just how much effort they're willing to put into their work life. When all three of those factors align, things like medication and therapy can truly make a world of difference.

Donna Newman82 said:A friend of mine suggested that I should say an entire generation is being skipped over. What do you all think about that? O.o

Science doesn't always provide simple, black-and-white answers, but we can look at the statistics. There is a significantly higher probability of developing schizophrenia if one of your parents has it—roughly 10%—compared to if it were a grandparent. If both grandparents are affected, the math changes quite a bit. Similarly, if both parents have it, the risk jumps up to about 50%. However, the most telling evidence regarding external factors comes from the study of identical twins; even though they share the exact same genetic blueprint, if one twin develops the condition, the chance for the other is "only" about 50%.

I'm essentially echoing what Meryl Streep told you. Right now, the most important thing is for you and your sister to support your mom, rather than getting lost in the anxiety of hereditary patterns.
From what I can gather, your mother isn't showing aggressive behavior, so it might be best if all three of you schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as possible to talk things through. It would give you a safe space to process your own fears, too.

In my own experience, both my mother and I deal with this condition, but that’s really just a coincidence. Two years before my own diagnosis, I was treating depression and seeing several different therapists and psychiatrists, yet not a single one of them suggested that schizophrenia might be on the horizon. As it turned out, that depression was actually the precursor to the schizophrenia, but there was absolutely no way to know that at the time.

Eric Mitchell55 said:Nothing beats a good old-fashioned burger. <3

well, you're the best one 🙂

Larry Lewis said:Yeah, well, my current regimen is a whole different beast: 4mg Risperdal, 600mg Seroquel xr, 300mg Faverin, 125mg standard Seroquel, and xanax as needed. You have to admit, that’s a pretty heavy-duty cocktail.

The thing is, I haven't even officially started this specific rotation yet because I'm in the middle of switching out my primary care physician—apparently, my current doctor refused to fill a prescription that was specifically ordered by my psychiatrist. So, right now, I'm just scraping by on my remaining stash: Zyprexa 20mg, seroquel xr 300mg, faverin 300mg, the regular 125mg seroquel, and xanax whenever things get too much. My psychiatrist told me to keep taking what I have until we can get the new regimen stabilized.

And just to be clear—if I ran out of the seroquel xr, which honestly was the one thing keeping me sane, I'd be in real trouble since I don't have much left, and my friends haven't been able to help me out with refills either. Because of this mess, I’m planning to file a formal complaint against this primary care doctor as soon as I transfer my medical records. It isn't me who's inconvenienced here; it's her. I've already got the clinic's number and everything ready to go.

Honestly, refusing to provide someone their prescribed psychiatric meds is like refusing to give a diabetic their insulin. It's just wrong.

I'm probably only taking about a third of what you are in terms of antipsychotics, though the depression is absolutely crushing me. I'm on 150 mg of Effexor and it honestly doesn't feel like enough, which isn't exactly a low dose either. I'm constantly struggling with the negative symptoms of schizophrenia, even though I don't really deal with the positive ones. Maybe that's because they are so 🤣

Larry Lewis said:A steady 4 mg a day.

My mom is actually on a much heavier regimen, taking something like 6 mg combined with a 50 mg injection every two weeks. On top of that, she’s managing things like Lexapro and Prozac, along with a few other medications... though her doses aren't quite as "extreme" as the ones I mentioned earlier.

Dana Martin87 said:It’s impossible to get through to him because he’s always been on his own wavelength; my parents never really knew how to handle him. He was one of those gifted kids—honestly, you wouldn't believe how early he was reading and writing. His teachers were practically begging my parents to let him skip grades, and they used to have him sit with the older kids to tutor them. He was a chess champion, art professors saw a future master painter in him, an American literary legend in the making, a math prodigy... he was so talented that he was the authority in our house, not the other way around.

At one point, he actually trusted this psychiatrist, but then the guy said a few things that made my brother start feeling like he was just some kind of idiot—the doctor was a religious zealot, and after that, my brother decided he was done with him. Now, he hasn't been to therapy in ages and he’s completely off his meds. I’m terrified they’ll try to force him into a psychiatric ward again. He refuses to take the pills because he says they just numb his brain. I don't know... I have my own life to live, but I feel for my parents. I feel for him too, but damn, it drives me crazy how he messes around with his medication when there's absolutely no way to make him understand why he needs it.

I am so sorry you’re going through this, but if it helps, I can tell you that I truly understand what your brother is feeling. I take my medications and I go in for injections, but that’s barely scratching the surface of what it takes to recover from schizophrenia. Meds can definitely leave you feeling numb, even the good ones, though perhaps a little less so. It feels like choosing between two evils: either deal with the psychosis or deal with being visibly drugged, and I’ve chosen the latter. I don't think I made the wrong call. I attend group psychotherapy sessions with others who are all dealing with psychosis. You can tell by looking at us that we’re under the influence of medication, at least a little bit. And that’s not even mentioning the depression, which is such a core part of schizophrenia, regardless of whether the meds cause it or not. When you're on medication, you stop causing trouble for the people around you, but internally, you can feel a bit hollow or cold. Over time, most people find they can taper down, so the goal is often finding that sweet spot—a dosage that isn't overwhelming but is strong enough to catch all the symptoms. Personally, I think I'm right on that edge; sometimes my thoughts start to drift, but if we ramp up the treatment, I’ll just become a "dead man walking" all over again... if I'm not already. As long as it doesn't get worse, I suppose. Your brother, if there's any of that brilliant intellect left, will eventually realize that psychiatrists aren't playing God and that they deserve some level of trust... even a mediocre doctor is better for a sick person than no doctor at all, and a good one is worth their weight in gold.

Larry Lewis said:Who cares about some minor little anxiety—it’s not even worth our breath🙂

Schizophrenia? Please. Try pulling twelve-hour shifts on a construction site in Chicago during a heatwave—then you'll see what real life actually feels like🙂

I actually worked a construction job while dealing with schizophrenia myself, though my shifts were ten hours instead of twelve.😁
I ended up getting fired after only four days because😢 my boss was just a total flake.
At the end of the day, construction is pretty much like any other job, it’s just a little more taxing on the body.😉

Daniel Martinez9 said:People don't need to be on TV or whatever... they just need to fight back. For starters, there's the Consumer Union. They’re funded by the government and pay themselves huge salaries, so the least they can do is help the public:

http://www.consumercouncil.org

Second, you need to be honest about the garnishment. You had an enforcement of $2167. Since you aren't being fully transparent, I can only guess. My guess is lawyer and notary fees are around $1000. So the total garnishment is roughly $1167. One has to wonder how long you went without paying your PBS subscription, since it was about $27 a month, which totals $320 annually. This raises the question of whether part of the debt is statute-barred, because PBS subscription claims expire after one year.
By the way, the statute of limitations is calculated based on when the garnishment was RECEIVED by the notary/local court. That is a major distinction from the date the garnishment ORDER was issued.
Unfortunately, for you, the matter is settled regardless of how unfair you think it is because of:
Contract Law:
Article 221.
If a debtor fulfills a statute-barred obligation, they have no right to demand a refund, even if they didn't know the obligation had expired.

Sadly, they cleaned you out for $3.25. Don't think I'm enjoying this; I actually hate hearing stuff like this. It's because people either don't know their rights or they're just indifferent (laziness, parasitism, cowardice)—not just regarding garnishments, but when it comes to standing up for themselves in general. Anyway, I'll post a guide on how to handle garnishments specifically for the forum users in my next post, once I'm done flying after I hit "send."

As for you—forget what happened and move on.

We missed about 15 subscription payments. Since PBS initiates a new levy every three unpaid bills, we ended up with five different ones. Altogether, it totaled $2167. They told us how long we would be under levy, but we didn't take any action, even though we knew more than $2167 would eventually be taken. See, my mom had a credit card too, and I mistakenly thought everything would just be zeroed out—that the credit card debt would be bundled into the levy once the account was frozen. But that wasn't how it worked; even more was taken because the Federal Reserve also collects its own fees and interest on the levy. So, the debt was roughly 15 * 80 = $400, but in the end, almost 10 $0.00 was paid out.
Honestly, I'm just glad it's finally over. We just need to pay off the overdraft (by the end of this year), and then the entire pension will be available again after two years of having our accounts frozen.

Daniel Martinez9 said:To start with, the Federal Reserve charges interest based on their specific fee schedule (which you can request at any of their branches). Then there's the annual interest on the principal, which I remember being around 14.5% (not sure if they've changed it lately). Furthermore, under an enforcement order, you pay off the interest and legal fees (attorneys and court costs) first, and only then do you touch the principal. Plus, interest starts accruing from the day the order was filed, not from when the decision was handed down or when payment was made.
Looking at it this way, you actually got off easy. Sounds unbelievable, doesn't it? 😉
The problem is you received the order and did—nothing; you just let them fleece you. 😉
Now, all you can do is sit there and cry. At least tissues are cheap so you can wipe your tears.

I mean, honestly, what were we supposed to do? There are 300,000 citizens facing enforcement actions right now; do we all need to go on national TV just to get something moving? Besides, PBS is largely responsible for how this whole mess was cooked up. And of course, my own mother ignored the warnings too, and she ended up paying ten times the original amount—and I mean LITERALLY.😉

I could really use some help here.
We dealt with a garnishment from $2167 (it was regarding unpaid PBS subscription fees followed by an enforcement process), which we fully settled back on June 4, 2013. Just two days ago, we requested a full transaction history for our checking account covering the last two years. According to those statements, the total amount listed under 'forced collection via order' comes to $3300, which means they've taken $1133 more than what the actual garnishment required.
Does anyone have any idea where this discrepancy might be coming from? I'm wondering if it's just accumulated interest or something else entirely. Thanks in advance for any insight you can share.

David Vaughn75 said:You see, I'm also on risperidone—which is called Risperdal here in the States—and it’s honestly been my lifeline. I've been on it for four years now, getting an injection every two weeks; I started at 50 mg, moved down to 37.5 mg, and I'm at 25 mg now, and I haven't missed a single dose in all that time. Personally, I find it hard to believe that the medication itself causes hallucinations; it's more likely that if there were hallucinations, they were already present and just didn't subside because of the meds. Maybe seeking care at a private clinic might offer better options; in our experience, private care is often a significant step up from the public system, and I imagine that gap is probably even wider over in your neck of the woods.

Risperdal is basically a garbage medication overall

It turns my head into a spinning top—seriously, 180 degrees—and girls sometimes don't even get their period, while guys? Yeah, "down there" stops working entirely. They usually only throw this stuff at patients who aren't responding to the newer, more modern meds. Honestly, I wouldn't even be shocked if it caused hallucinations as a side effect.
All those old-school drugs are just straight-up disasters.
A lot of people will probably tell you that Consta is consistently the best schizophrenia treatment on the market, and it definitely isn't the cheapest either. In my own view, the quality of a drug really comes down to how effectively it can lower brain activity—but specifically, it needs to be selective. Ideally, it should only target those neurotransmitters that are overactive, like dopamine or glutamate, rather than hitting everything else, because when that happens, you end up feeling sluggish, exhausted, and you can just see in someone's eyes that they're heavily medicated. I’m certainly no medical expert, but from what I've seen, Consta seems to excel at that selectivity (though I haven't taken Risperdal tablets myself, so I can't speak to the specific difference there). Generally speaking, schizophrenia medications are meant to prevent hallucinations, not cause them, 🤷 and I'm curious where you got the idea that risperidone is an old-school drug? It was actually discovered back in 1994, which makes it two years newer than olanzapine and nine years newer than quetiapine, so it’s actually one of the more recent ones in widespread clinical use.
There will always be someone willing to criticize anything good, which makes sense since no medication—not even the very best one—is going to work perfectly for everyone.

briskcyclist40 said:briskcyclist40, does your son actually think people are following him, or that everyone is out to get him, or that his whole life is some scripted setup? I haven't seen anything in your posts that screams paranoid schizophrenia to me. Aggression can come from a million different things; it doesn't automatically mean he’s having a psychotic break.

Thanks for all the input!!
My son never had those delusions about being followed or someone orchestrating his future. He used to hang out with friends like any normal kid. The fears he actually dealt with were based in reality. After that first traumatic stay in the hospital, he felt totally cornered by the doctors. He lived in constant dread that the cops would just swoop in and haul him back to the psych ward. As a parent, I think that kind of fear is actually pretty understandable. One time, a private psychologist told me he’d love to meet someone who *wasn't* terrified after going through what my son went through—something the psychiatrists dismissed as paranoia. He wasn't scared of spies or conspiracies... his anxiety was tied to the treatment itself and how he was being handled. He’d wake up in the middle of the night screaming, "Let me go, I didn't do anything wrong."
The voices started showing up after he got the Risperdal injections, and they haven't stopped since. They're always negative, telling him he's useless, that he's a failure, that he won't amount to anything in life... you know the drill.
What I really wish we could do is get him into a long-term observation program at a compassionate clinic, but honestly, I don't think places like that even exist to help figure out what caused this versus what happened later.

Thanks for all the input!!
My son never had those delusions about being followed or someone orchestrating his future. He used to hang out with friends like any normal kid. The fears he actually dealt with were based in reality. After that first traumatic stay in the hospital, he felt totally cornered by the doctors. He lived in constant dread that the cops would just swoop in and haul him back to the psych ward. As a parent, I think that kind of fear is actually pretty understandable. One time, a private psychologist told me he’d love to meet someone who *wasn't* terrified after going through what my son went through—something the psychiatrists dismissed as paranoia. He wasn't scared of spies or conspiracies... his anxiety was tied to the treatment itself and how he was being handled. He’d wake up in the middle of the night screaming, "Let me go, I didn't do anything wrong."
The voices started showing up after he got the Risperdal injections, and they haven't stopped since. They're always negative, telling him he's useless, that he's a failure, that he won't amount to anything in life... you know the drill.
What I really wish we could do is get him into a long-term observation program at a compassionate clinic, but honestly, I don't think places like that even exist to help figure out what caused this versus what happened later.

Thanks for all the input!!
My son never had those delusions about being followed or someone orchestrating his future. He used to hang out with friends like any normal kid. The fears he actually dealt with were based in reality. After that first traumatic stay in the hospital, he felt totally cornered by the doctors. He lived in constant dread that the cops would just swoop in and haul him back to the psych ward. As a parent, I think that kind of fear is actually pretty understandable. One time, a private psychologist told me he’d love to meet someone who *wasn't* terrified after going through what my son went through—something the psychiatrists dismissed as paranoia. He wasn't scared of spies or conspiracies... his anxiety was tied to the treatment itself and how he was being handled. He’d wake up in the middle of the night screaming, "Let me go, I didn't do anything wrong."
The voices started showing up after he got the Risperdal injections, and they haven't stopped since. They're always negative, telling him he's useless, that he's a failure, that he won't amount to anything in life... you know the drill.
What I really wish we could do is get him into a long-term observation program at a compassionate clinic, but honestly, I don't think places like that even exist to help figure out what caused this versus what happened later.
You see, I'm also on risperidone—which is called Risperdal here in the States—and it’s honestly been my lifeline. I've been on it for four years now, getting an injection every two weeks; I started at 50 mg, moved down to 37.5 mg, and I'm at 25 mg now, and I haven't missed a single dose in all that time. Personally, I find it hard to believe that the medication itself causes hallucinations; it's more likely that if there were hallucinations, they were already present and just didn't subside because of the meds. Maybe seeking care at a private clinic might offer better options; in our experience, private care is often a significant step up from the public system, and I imagine that gap is probably even wider over in your neck of the woods.

David Vaughn75 said:That’s just how it goes in this brand of liberal capitalism—where the government won't lift a finger to fund anything remotely social or community-oriented. 👎 I mean, seriously, getting fired just because you were hospitalized? That’s absolutely monstrous. 👎 Damn this whole Western way of life; you’re basically treated like nothing more than a machine designed to churn out cash and nothing else. 👎 If there’s one silver lining, I guess it’s being glad I'm here in the States, because back when I was in a facility in Chicago, they actually treated me like a decent human being—like a gentleman, even.

briskcyclist40, does your son ever get these ideas that people are following him, or that everyone around him is out to get him—like everything is staged against him and stuff? Honestly, looking back at your posts, I haven't seen anything that screams paranoid schizophrenia to me. Aggression can stem from a hundred different things; it doesn't automatically mean he's dealing with psychosis.

She mentioned having constant auditory hallucinations, which is definitely a symptom of schizophrenia. Although, in my experience, the hallucinations usually show up later, after the paranoia, the fears, and the detachment from reality have already set in. Schizophrenia presents itself completely differently in two different people, much like any other mental health condition.🤷

briskcyclist40, that is such a heartbreaking story, thank you so much for opening up and sharing it with us.
My own experience was a lot more straightforward, though certainly not any less difficult; the worst part happened when I decided to stop my medication on my own because I just didn't grasp how serious things actually were. My doctor eventually admitted she made a mistake by letting me leave the hospital so early—even though I was the one insisting on being discharged—and since I was all alone in Washington, D.C., without any family around to guide me, I ended up acting in ways that were clearly not myself. All of that spiraled into a terrifying psychotic episode that resulted in me spending over six months at an inpatient facility in Arlington. Since then, about four years ago, things have been steadily, if slowly, getting better.
I honestly don't know what to say, because I always had this impression that psychiatric care in more developed countries would be on a much higher level, but clearly, that isn't always the case. We have access to the best medications currently available here in the States, and our doctors are talented; I think the real issue is simply that there aren't enough specialists to go around, so they can't always give every patient the dedicated attention they deserve.
Most people living with schizophrenia manage to function quite well using some of the newer medications, like quetiapine (Seroquel), olanzapine (Zyprexa), or Risperdal. I'm really not sure why that hasn't been the case for your son. It makes me wonder if the core issue lies with certain doctors who might have handled the initial stages poorly, which often does more harm than good and ultimately allows the illness to take hold.

briskcyclist40 said:Hey everyone! I’m new here, which should be pretty obvious looking at my post count.
I decided to jump into this thread because I really wanted to share what we’ve been going through and hopefully find some people who actually get it—maybe even a little bit of comfort along the way.
My son is 22, and he’s dealing with paranoid schizophrenia. We’ve been struggling through the chaos this illness brings for years now, and honestly, there’s still so much about it that feels completely foreign to us.
I’d love to hear from other parents out there. How are you all managing? How do you cope? Any advice at all would mean the world to me right now.
Thanks in advance to anyone who takes a moment to reply!!

Hi there, briskcyclist40.

I’m not a parent dealing with schizophrenia, but I actually live with paranoid schizophrenia myself. It runs in my family too, as my mother carries the same diagnosis.
If I could offer a few pieces of advice, the first and most vital rule is to never, ever stop the medication; if the symptoms return—and they often do—they tend to come back much harder each time.
Second, regular check-ups and psychotherapy are essential. While medication is the foundation, having that therapeutic support is just as important. To be honest, there’s a massive gap between seeing a private specialist and using whatever insurance-covered options are available through the state, but if private care isn't an option, please utilize the public system, because anything is better than nothing at all.
Third, try to stay connected to the world—working, socializing, and striving to lead as "normal" a life as possible despite the illness.

That said, you haven't shared too many specifics about your son yet beyond the diagnosis. I'm wondering if he's on heavy medications, how many times he's had to be hospitalized, how he manages socially, or if he's currently in school or working?

ruggedtinker9 said:Harold Anderson3, I find myself feeling remarkably similar to you. I was always hyperactive—constantly traveling, absorbing massive amounts of information, always working on something; I truly believed the sky was the limit, as the cliché goes. But then life hit me hard; I suppose I actually sabotaged myself, and suddenly I lost my grip due to an overwhelming amount of fear regarding my own survival. I snapped the first time, managed to pull myself together, then snapped a second time, recovered quickly, and then that third time... I broke harder than ever before. I had just landed the career I had always dreamed of, only to lose that job, lose certain friends, and lose all motivation and willpower. Since I spend quite a bit of time at home and am not particularly social lately, my social skills have deteriorated, as has my self-confidence. However, I have come to realize a few things—looking back at the past is somewhat like staring into a deep well. You cannot go inside; you can only fall in, or you can draw water from it. And that water represents life. Therefore, one should view the past as a reservoir of experience that serves as your water. You might realize that you are strong simply because you have endured all of this, and perhaps the suffering you are experiencing is actually a positive thing, because those who have had nothing but perfection in their lives are completely unprepared when they eventually encounter a situation like this. They don't understand suffering until it finds them. Take some time for yourself and consider what the best course of action might be. What do you know how to do that makes you feel good and helps you forget the pain? What successfully distracts you and captures your interest? For me, that abyss often opens up—that feeling that life is empty and we are merely here to suffer. But do you know why we suffer? I guess we suffer because we live in ignorance. Yet, this isn't the kind of knowledge you learn from a textbook; it is self-knowledge. Once we realize that everyone is essentially a miniature universe unto themselves, things might become easier. Because you are your own universe, and everyone living today will one day be dead. They will never even realize they once lived. Everything is painful—birth, life, death. Pain is the very thing that strengthens us; when something hurts, it is a sign that you are growing. Much like a muscle, when you exercise it, it aches, but it aches precisely because it is growing. Accept the pain as a reminder that you are alive, just for a little while longer. We are often presented with these imposed images of how life ought to look, but the magic lies in the fact that everyone's life looks entirely different. What lies within our subconscious is a struggle for power; we want to be powerful, valued, respected, loved. But that is actually a negative pursuit, whereas suffering is positive. If you think about it for a while, you might realize this.

See, I was never really the hyperactive type, except right before my psychosis kicked in, but that doesn't count since it was part of the episode itself. I've always been more of a loner, someone who retreats into their own world. The only thing I was ever truly good at was school, specifically the sciences. What hurts the most is that people see this lack of energy in me, this sense of confusion... and whenever someone points it out, there's always someone ready to poke at the wound. Sometimes it feels malicious, like they're just enjoying it, or like they're feeding off someone weaker. You wrote such a beautiful post to me, but I can't shake the feeling that some people in my circle actually enjoy watching me struggle; it feels like they wouldn't care if I simply disappeared. You say that pain makes us stronger, but I wouldn't go that far. Maybe moderate pain helps, but for me, it’s just a vicious cycle. Because I'm naturally quiet, I end up feeling less valuable than everyone else, and many people treat me that way too, which only makes me retreat further into myself.
A colleague once asked me, "Why are you so quiet? You act like someone everyone can just walk all over." And honestly, I start to believe them. It leaves me feeling like I just don't matter.